A game for two or more players. N.B. This game is not suitable for those with carpetted bedroom floors.
Step 1 – Take vomitting child from its bed. Clean child and put in parental bed. Strip child’s bed. Clean floor and any fixtures and fittings sprayed with vomit. One extra point, if you wake sibling while doing so.
Step 2 – Get into bed with sick child. Lie awake tensely listening for sounds that might indicate child is about to be sick. Points will be awarded if you grab sleeping sick child and hold him anxiously over the side of the bed when all he was doing was clearing his throat.
Step 3 – Drift off to sleep to be awoken by the miserable screech of a child who has vomitted all over himself and the bedclothes. Hold him over the edge of the bed and let him vomit copiously on the floor. Extra point if you accede, against your better judgement, to his request for a glass of water which he then vomits up.
Step 4 – Repeat step 3 until you have stripped your bed three times. Then shout jackpot and, if you’re really lucky, sleep uninterrupted for the two hours remaining until dawn breaks.
Step 5 – Repeat with other children over the following nights.
A post reflecting my own recent experience (mercifully past) and inspired by geepeemama‘s woes.