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Flower pot difficulties

30 June, 2005 at 8:45 pm by belgianwaffle

Last night Mr. Waffle had to stay late at work and I had a work dinner. My proposed schedule for the evening was as follows:

5.00 Trip out of work to collect the Princess.
5.45 Arrive home.
7.00 Put the Princess to bed.
7.15 Change and make myself beautiful.
8.00 Welcome the babysitter to our gracious home and scoot off to dinner.
Unfortunately, I was stuck a bit later at work than I had planned and didn’t get home until 7.00. When I arrived home, this woman followed me upstairs. She looked very respectable and I presumed she was visiting one of my neighbours but she followed me in. Conversation proceeded along the following lines:
Me: Um, can I help you?
Her: A flowerpot has fallen on my car from this building.
Me: Oh, well, I don’t think it’s one of ours but you can come and look, we haven’t got any flowers on the windowsill. (Glad of our black thumbs).
Her (aggressively): Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?
Me (with Princess clinging to me in my arms sucking doggy and looking alarmed): Well, I suppose, but it’s true, it must have come from one of the other flats.
Her: It’s your responsibility.
Me: Well, no, it’s not.
Her (getting louder): What are you going to do about it?
Me: Well nothing, really.
Her: (extremely agressively) You live in the building, it’s your responsibility. What are you going to do about it?
Princess (sotto voce in my ear): Nasty lady Mummy.
Me: Don’t be ridiculous, how can it possibly be my responsibility? In any event, I wouldn’t do anything for you as you are so unpleasant ( I actually said this), now, my child is hungry and I have to give her her dinner and I’d appreciate, if you’d leave.
Her: Snort.
Me: Deep sigh [realise this woman is never going to leave my house, am conscious of the onward march of time and my terrified, hungry daughter] Look, I have a digital camera. I can take a picture of your car for you and you can pursue the matter with my neighbours in due course.
We descend the stairs in dignified silence except for Princess muttering “We go home, Mummy, nasty lady”.
I stand in the pouring rain with my 2 year old perched on my hip. This woman’s car does have a broken flowerpot on it, but it has sustained no visible damage. I point this out. She says “Someone will have to clean it”. I do not deign to answer this comment. I take my pictures (see below).
Her: This is your responsibility.
Me: (Throwing eyes to heaven) No, it’s not. Look, can you please leave me alone, I am trying to be helpful by standing here in the bucketing rain photographing your car while carrying my child, whom you have terrified and, just in case you haven’t noticed, I’m 6 months pregnant (regret that I did not add “with twins” for added pathos).
Her: Well, I’m pregnant too!
Me: (Momentarily arrested, looking at her flat stomach, in deep surprise, but thinking, this could explain why she’s behaving so oddly): Um, really, how many months?
Her: (Very aggressively) Well, no, I’m not actually pregnant.
Me: (Baffled silence) OK, look, give me your card and I’ll email you the
photos.
Her: No.
Me: OK….why don’t I print them out for you?
Her: Snort.
We trail damply back upstairs. I print out the photos.
Her: I should call the police.
Me: (Thinking that really the police are bound to be better than this madwoman who won’t leave)
Look, feel free, you can use our phone.
Her: Snatches photos from my limp grasp and marches out banging the door.
Princess: Nasty lady, big bang Mummy.
By now it was 7.30. The Princess consented to leave go of my neck and I prepared the royal dinner and persuaded her to eat same. Off we went to the bath. At 8.00, when our babysitter arrived, the Princess was still in the bath. I heard her calling from the hall “Madame, Madame” and I was a bit fed up because she knows that her arrival will make the Princess hyper and usually if we are putting her (the Princess, obviously, don’t be difficult) to bed, the babysitter just waits in the dining room until we emerge. So I stuck my head into the hall only to see that our babysitter had brought two male friends. I looked at her surprised.

“Madame, la police” said she. I went back to the bathroom and whisked herself out of the bath. She was delighted to see our babysitter but a bit surprised to see two policemen with guns and bullet proof vests.
Policeman 1(addressing himself to Princess): Hello there!
Me: Um…
Policeman 2: We’ve come about the pot plant.
Me: Ah yes, well, it’s not our pot plant, let me show you the windowsill.
Policemen: (perfectly agreeably) Yes that seems reasonable.
Policeman 1 to Policeman 2: Bet it’s on the top floor where they have the
balcony.
Both policemen: Sorry to have disturbed you (and to Princess) night, night little girl.
Even though I think that it is odd to have to come out to investigate falling pot plant incidents with guns and bullet proof jackets, am sorry that they hadn’t been called much earlier as they were speedy and pleasant.
Got the Princess into bed by 8.30 and whizzed out to dinner a shadow of my former self. When I got home about midnight, I woke up my loving husband. “You’re never going to believe what happened to me”. “Can I not believe it in the morning?” he said, somewhat tactlessly. However, you will be delighted to hear that once fully awoken by the simple expedient of turning on the light, Mr. Waffle nobly expressed sympathy and a manly desire to protect me from any future pot plant unpleasantness.

Comments

stroppycow on 30 June 2005 at 21:02 Didn’t know Belgium had “care in the community” too. Sounds particularly unpleasant. I hope she finds a life / her medication / a great big hole to fall into (delete as applicable) and leaves you in peace in the future. If she turns up again call te police straight away and watch out for falling flowerpots.

KateEvans on 30 June 2005 at 21:07 This makes me want to fly to Belgium, come by your flat, buy a potted plant on the way and hurl it from your window onto her car.

beachhutman on 30 June 2005 at 21:48 Top blogging Waffy!

UndercoverCookie on 01 July 2005 at 10:05 And now Princess will think being rude warrants calling the police. To be remembered next time she throws a tantrum.

London mom on 01 July 2005 at 10:16 Ah – that reminds me why I left Belgium…that woman is obviously bonkers…
BarbieDollAbroad on 01 July 2005 at 10:48 great story!!

poggle on 01 July 2005 at 10:58 I bet she carries the plantpot around IN her car – otherwise how could there be no damage? She placed it on there (carefully) herself. She’s got no friends, see – nobody to talk to. As menace says – mentalist ….

Kate_Sith on 01 July 2005 at 11:01 I particularly liked the ‘I’m pregnant, too’ ruse.

Lilo on 01 July 2005 at 12:59 Obviously the mentalist had a drug habit, hence all the snorting. A sweetie for the ordeal and for dealing with the nutter so helpfully – I’d have probably got a bit rude in that situation.

Lilo on 01 July 2005 at 12:59 Sorry – forgot to attach this. 1
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton on 01 July 2005 at 17:15 Next time use a breeze block. And wait until she’s in the car. Problem solved: Brussels is a better place.

belgianwaffle on 01 July 2005 at 21:45 Oooh Menace, a sweetie too. Ta.
Stroppy, the hole sounds best, I think.
Kate E, I’m touched and you (really) pregnant and everything.
BHM, too kind, my material was provided by a mad woman and that always helps.
But cookie, the police were really NICE, she liked them. Thank you for your sweetie.
London Mom, to be fair, I don’t think she was a native, she sounded kind of Spanish actually.
BDA, thank you, you are most kind.
Pog, I like that image. I will treasure it.
Kate S, I know, it was really weird. I mean what was the point of that?
Lilo, thank you for your sweetie. I did think that I was kind of rude, I mean I told a complete stranger (well I suppose not complete after nearly half an hour in my house) that she was deeply unpleasant. In retrospect, I wonder if that added to the atmosphere?
JD, fantastic. Thank you.

Bobble on 03 July 2005 at 17:31 belated hugs on this one Waffly. And there is no finer word than mentalist to describe this harpy.

belgianwaffle on 03 July 2005 at 19:19 Bobble, you are kind..

Language Regime

28 June, 2005 at 9:36 pm by belgianwaffle

Princess: Feck!
Me: Who says that sweetheart?
Princess (indignantly): Maman dit รงa.

Look, I’m improving.

Comments
Mikeachim

on 29 June 2005 at 00:02

Good grief.
Or maybe she’s been watching Father Ted when you haven’t been looking.
๐Ÿ™‚

jackdalton

on 29 June 2005 at 01:04

Wonderful! It’s the Locotes afeckt ๐Ÿ™‚

Bobble

on 29 June 2005 at 11:23

Wonderful child.I was in your fair city last night Waffly, my flight from Stockholm was diverted to Brussels as all the London aiports were closed due to storms. Got home today about an hour ago on Eurostar… I declare Brussels as one of the hardest to sleep in airports ever. Zzzzzzzz…

poggle

on 29 June 2005 at 13:54

Sure it wasn’t ‘farque’? Sure?

Locotes

on 30 June 2005 at 11:13

I’m so proud…
*sniff*

belgianwaffle

on 01 July 2005 at 21:47

Kristin, hmmm….
Mike, that’s it, I knew it. Clever you.
JD, clearly.
Bobble, am awaiting full account with bated breath etc. Think Bxls airport is ok myself, but I suppose I’ve never tried to sleep there.
Pog, positive. No really.
Loc, rightly so!

Belgiska Vafflor

26 June, 2005 at 1:28 pm by belgianwaffle

Mr. Waffle took this photo to prove that he was thinking of me and also a toy theatre.ย  Attentive readers will remember that back in February, I expressed nostalgia in relation to toy theatres. I then promptly forgot all about them until Mr. Waffle came back from Sweden bearing one aloft in triumph. I was thrilled.ย  When I get him presents, I get him socks. Truly it is a burden as well as a delight to live with a great present giver. The Princess got a furry turtle which we named Sven, because we are cruel and get a kick out of hearing her try to say it with her lisp.

Comments
jackdalton

on 26 June 2005 at 14:50

Or Scoot.

Locotes

on 26 June 2005 at 17:00

Hard to believe as it is, I think this blog could be even more exciting if called Belgiska Vafflor.Sounds like a evil genius comic book villain…

poggle

on 28 June 2005 at 11:36

You’re famous. I knew it.

poggle

on 28 June 2005 at 11:37

Oh yeth.

belgianwaffle

on 28 June 2005 at 21:25

Pog, Locotes, a name change is tempting, isn’t it?

poggle

on 29 June 2005 at 13:10

Belgiska Vaffla certainly has a ring to it …..

belgianwaffle

on 01 July 2005 at 21:37

I know, I’d feel all viking; but I think I’m probably too wet to live up to it.

poggle

on 04 July 2005 at 15:10

Nah – I can just see you with the horned helmet and yellow braids …. and a bit of looting and pillaging never hurt anyone. Well, not anyone doing it.

jackdalton

on 04 July 2005 at 16:08
(
Comment Modified) Race traitor! Was it for this your ancestors build the round towers and buried the Ardagh Chalice in a bog or for this that Brian of the Dal Cais – with the Irish of Munster, the U’Neil and brave-hearted Ostmen kicked the crap out of that black’art Mael Morda and his Norse ally King Sygtrygg at Clontarf?! Have you no memory for such things, woman!
๐Ÿ™‚

belgianwaffle

on 04 July 2005 at 21:29

Pog, mmm, interesting. Jack, we’re probably all vikings really…

jackdalton

on 05 July 2005 at 00:20

That would be the Cork crowd. And the Dove Ling shower…

belgianwaffle

on 05 July 2005 at 20:39

Now, now and you with a trip to Douglas imminent.

Shoe Blues

25 June, 2005 at 8:44 pm by belgianwaffle

This whole foot swelling thing is out of control. The weather isn’t helping. As of yesterday, I could fit into one pair of shoes. Just. I went out at lunch time to buy some new shoes in a larger size, but no joy. My problem was that my enormous swollen instep and ankle required a size 42 but my feet continued (mercifully, I suppose) to be a size 39 in length so the flip floppy things I was trying on were just too flip floppy to walk in. Meanwhile young things with gazelle like ankles were taunting me by flaunting same.

Mercifully the weather is not so hot today and I can fit into a range of shoes. And while I’m on the subject of shoes. I got the following email recently:

“Hi Belgianwaffle!

I reacted via your weblog about what you wrote there about scholl sandals. For my final examination next year I’starting a study about the influence of wearing woorden exercise sandals on the feet in general. Since two years wooden sandals such as Scholl are increasing in popularity in most european countries as you may also have noticed in Belgium.

I understand that your experiences with the Scholls you bought were not very positive. Would you like to give me some more information abouty what disappointed you?. Were it wooden Scholl sandals by the way? But also things like how often you wore them and for how long. Would love to hear from you!”

Of course I replied at great length. As will be obvious, I find talking about me irresistible. Yet, somewhere, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help wondering whether the author of this email was entirely serious. Annemie, if you’re genuine, I’d like you to know that I’m finding my wooden Scholl sandals very comfortable with my swollen ankles.

And finally, today saw us venturing to a barbecue in the Irish College in Louvain which was pleasant. Our daughter kindly wandered in a Lavender maze presenting us with fantastic photo ops (always an object with parents).

Comments
ladyjaneon 25 June 2005 at 22:59

And yes, her hair doth grow!

Liloon 27 June 2005 at 12:01

Beautiful little girl.
My feet offend me on a daily basis – I don’t think I’ll ever see my ankle bones again.

Locoteson 27 June 2005 at 12:01

Dear waffle, I understand how the trials of pregnancy are affecting your wardrobe, appetite and feet, but fear not, for once the little tykes are born, parenting will be a breeze. A guide has been created which you can follow as law – and then watch your little darlings turn into the pride of Ireland…..well, Cork anyway.
Have a peek here.

Beth(Homepage)

on 27 June 2005 at 15:35

I’ve given up on shoes entirely and highly recommend it.

belgianwaffleon 28 June 2005 at 21:28

Thank you Kristin and Lilo for suitable motherly comments on the photos – I would like you to know that you are writing to one with cocktail sausages for toes so your comments are most comforting.
Locotes, I enjoyed that. Ta.
Beth, now you’re talking.

Cough, cough

21 June, 2005 at 8:04 pm by belgianwaffle

Last night I had to decamp to the spare room as my cough was keeping us both awake and, at least, once I left it was only keeping me awake. Alas, the Princess’s cough woke her up a number of times as well, so when I wasn’t keeping me awake, the Princess was. She awoke definitively at 6.15. We were all tired and cranky this morning. I felt that slightly dizzying exhaustion you get when you have a very small baby and you would give anything to go back to bed. This was a most unwelcome foretaste of what is to come in September.

Struggled into the creche. Largely stayed awake at work.
Picked her up a bit early to visit L and new baby F. They had a paddling pool and the girls played happily until I decided it was time to leave about 7.15. Things plummeted downhill from there until I tucked her up in bed still roaring hysterically at 8.10. She collapsed in exhaustion about 10 minutes later and I am about to do the same.

Rejoice, from tomorrow, the days get shorter.

Comments
Bobbleon 21 June 2005 at 23:36

When I move to Amsterdam I’ll come down and offer my babysitting services x

Mikeachimon 21 June 2005 at 23:37

Aw.
You are a saint.
Sleep well…..

Minkleberryon 22 June 2005 at 07:50

ouchy!

belgianwaffleon 25 June 2005 at 20:12

Oooh, JD, barley sugar, my favourite, you are kind.
Bobble, can’t wait.
Mike, dunno about that, but thanks for the thought.
Minks. Yes.

Maternity wear

20 June, 2005 at 4:33 pm by belgianwaffle

Mother: And how are you feeling darling?
Me: Well, actually, still a bit nauseous and sore back and, a thing I didn’t have last time, swollen ankles.
Mother: Why do you think that is?
Me: I suppose I’m heavier, I weigh 66 kilos, you know.
Mother: 66 kilos!!๏ฟฝ That’s more than me. [You should know that my mother is considerably taller than me].
Me: I am six months pregnant WITH TWINS.
Mother: Do you look pregnant then?
Me: I refer you to my previous answer.
Mother (nostalgically): When I was pregnant no one ever knew that you were pregnant until right at the end.
Me: Well, that’s the late 60s/70s for you mother, flowing kaftans and maxis have their uses.
Mother (in tones of disapproval): I suppose you wear those figure hugging things that I see pregnant women around town in.
Me: Yes. No kaftans for me.
Mother (sighs audibly): I suppose it’s the fashion.

Comments
kristin

on 20 June 2005 at 16:49

For what it’s worth, i weigh 66 kilos without the benefit of carrying twins. Onward and upward. Take yourself and Princess Waffle out for a nice pastry.

jackdalton

on 20 June 2005 at 17:30

And would that be with or without clothing… ๐Ÿ˜

KateEvans

on 20 June 2005 at 18:07

I imagine in those 70s kaftans everyone just thought you were getting a bit hefty. We all hear stories about how ‘no one knew X was pregnant until she had the baby’, but have you ever known one of these women personally? I frankly don’t think they exist, unless of course they are massive to begin with.

Bobble

on 20 June 2005 at 21:27

Did your mother say that if you cut your hair you won’t attract a man either?

Minkleberry

on 21 June 2005 at 09:23

My mum says the same thing to me. They’re kidding themselves…

Lilo

on 21 June 2005 at 12:31

At the weekend my stepmother asked me, ‘Don’t you feel uncomfortable wearing those tight clothes?’. My reply; ‘At this stage, clothes are the last things making me feel uncomfortable.’

beachhutman

on 21 June 2005 at 16:19

I’ve still got one of those kaftans somewhere…….

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 16:50

I never saw you as the blatant bump revealing type. How…interesting. You have the matching pink tracksuit bottoms I assume?

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:57

Pog, Minks, I dunno, those maxis were very flowing…
Kristin, thank you for your words of comfort. Jack, I’m ignoring that.
Lilo, well at least you’re nearly there…
BHM, a terrifying insight.
Locotes, you will recall that you are me in drag or vice versa. I rely on you to advise.

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 22:03

What?! What have I done now?!
[looks back through comments]
Oh. Well anyway, be like that if you must I was just being encouraging and supportive. You know: indicating that despite your Aunt Marge-ish dimensions there are some who still find you interesting and attractive…. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Besids it’s not fair. Locotes gets away with that most lewd, chav-like comparison and I’m ignored just because I’m being emotionally supportive. Like a kind of digital / bloggosphere 40 denier opaque…

Bobble

on 21 June 2005 at 23:11

I shall always think of you Jack when I’m in the M&S Hosiery department.

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 23:24

Bobs: my life would thus be complete….
Though I’d rather hoped it would be Le Senza or Knickerbox or somewhere a bit more that-ish…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 23:41

Yes of course, I forgot. In that case, for the love of God, we should ditch the trackies and cover the bump. A beautiful thing and all that, but our neighbours and co-workers don’t need to see that much detail.Also, I’m glad I/you/us/we agree that jack’s pervy nudie-related comment was highly uncalled for. The bare-faced cheek of it all…..as it were.

Bobble

on 21 June 2005 at 23:42

Then you’d have to be a 10 denier gloss Jack.

belgianwaffle

on 25 June 2005 at 20:14

Jack, you will remember that I am Locotes in drag, of course he can get away with anything. Locotes, the bump is not exposed. Do not panic.
Bobble, you know you’re only encouraging him.

Home alone with her highness

19 June, 2005 at 3:07 pm by belgianwaffle

Despite the inauspicious beginning we had a really lovely
morning.ย  The weather was beautiful and she was so good. We went to the park together and she chatted away feeding me pretend food “tiens maman, du saumon et des pommes de terre, do you want a lollipop?”ย  One of the other mothers said “she speaks like a three year old” and my heart filled with unbearable smugness though it is unclear to me how this woman would know as her own child is only 20 months and she was certainly far too young to have any older children.

Then we then went for breakfast together (yeah, well, we had to try again after the earlier disaster). She spent her time between mouthfuls of yoghurt intermittently chatting to me and to her father (via her large green plastic mobile phone). It was a pity she wouldn’t actually talk to him on the real phone when he called this morning, but you can’t have everything. I could hear the people beside us talking about her and saying what a good child she was and how much fun it must be going out to eat with her. Let’s not push it here people, but still, all very gratifying. She was even good at mass which unprecedented event was noted by the kindly priest when he chatted to her on our departure.ย  I found this a little alarming as it clearly means he does notice her, ahem, slightly less
virtuous behaviour on other Sundays. He asked whether she had been baptised and I was able to set his mind at rest on this point.ย  Does he really think that I would take my two year old to mass every Sunday and chase her round the back of the church yet somehow not have got around to christening her? Humph.
When we got home, I found that I had two little blackย  handprints on my back from where the Princess had given me a hug in the sandpit after I had applied suncream. Otherwise I am sure I presented an immaculate appearance at breakfast and at mass. As I put her to bed for her nap, I decided to
apply some wisdom from Supernanny which was given to us by the publishing exec on her last visit (no hint intended, I am sure) and which I had been flicking through during the Liveaid extravaganza and told her that I had had a lovely morning and she had been really good. She seemed most pleased. I hope she will like as much the firm but fair “voice of authority” which I intend to try out next time she unloads her dinner on the floor.

Comments
Bobble

on 19 June 2005 at 20:14

Lovely images Waffly x

poggle

on 20 June 2005 at 11:22

The little black handprints sound kind of stylish …..

belgianwaffle

on 20 June 2005 at 16:22

Locotes, well we live in a flat so we’d actually have to put her outside the front door for a naughty step so that seems a bit extreme – we’ll see how we get on with the voice of authority.
Bobble, you are very kind and, quite clearly, half Italian.
Pog, no, truly, I promise you.

Tag

18 June, 2005 at 2:38 pm by belgianwaffle

Total number of books Iย’’ve owned: No idea, tons, loads. As many as I can afford, I suppose.

Last book I bought: Well, if we exclude “Smartest Giant in Town” which I bought only yesterday, then it’s “Small Island” by Andrea Levy which I am enjoying very much and have now forced my bookclub to read.


Last book I read:ย  Yesterday, I finally finished “The Bridge on the Drina” by Ivo Andric. Very worthy and most tiring. Have been reading it on and off for about a year I’d say (only about 300 pages but very dense pages).

Five books that mean a lot to me:

I’ve given this part of the question a lot of thought and I insist on explaining my answers.

“The Magician’s Nephew” by C.S. Lewis.ย  This was the first proper book I read, I think. They had it in the library at the back of the classroom when I was in first class and I remember struggling with it but persevering.ย  I still like it the best of all the Narnia
books.

“The Reluctant Widow” by Georgette Heyer. The first Georgette Heyer I read. I read it on a camping holiday with my family when I was about 12. I remember being amazed when the hero got together with the heroine (but they hate each other!). Maybe not
the best Georgette Heyer book but one that got me started on a lifetime of regency romances. I’d love to attribute this role to “Pride and Prejudice” which is much more highbrow and a book I’ve read at least 20 times but honesty compels me to say that if my choice of reading material on a desert island was between Jane Austen and
Georgette Heyer, I would not hesitate to select the latter.

“Portnoy’s complaint”ย  by Philip Roth. My first boyfriend in college made me read this and I didn’t want to. I thought it would be dull and difficult. But it was hilarious and opened up a whole world of American fiction to me that I thought would be hard and boring. I still have a soft spot for Philip Roth though I thought “American Pastoral” was dire.

“Bury me Standing: The Gypsies and Their journey” by Isabel Fonseca. My only non-fiction offering. I am not normally as fond of non-fiction as fiction but I loved this book.ย  It was fascinating. It also exposed to me many of the prejudices I have which I would have fervently denied in advance of reading this. A wonderful book. And if I were famous, they could put that on the back cover.

“What I Loved” by Siri Hustvedt. When I was pregnant with the Princess, my physiotherapist recommended this book to me. She said that there is was wonderful description of childbirth in it (do not be put off, this is a tiny bit of the book). She also said that she thought that Siri Hustvedt was an even better writer than her
husband Paul Auster. The thought that she (the physio) might like him put me off because I find Paul Auster terminally tedious.ย  However, it was not a time in my life when I felt it appropriate to ignore the advice of my physiotherapist and I was right. It is
the most marvellous book about art and relationships and children and also slightly sinister. Fantastic. So fantastic that though I started reading it only just before the Princess was due, I finished it before I got to hospital and ended up taking in “Cold Mountain” to read during labour. Not recommended.

Um, five isn’t very many, is it. If people felt like indulging me, I would like to see what Heather, Lauren (from her boat) and Mr. Dalton have to say. I’d like to know about other people too but I’ve grown tired of adding links.

Meanwhile over at the LRB, they’re out of control. You remember they refused to issue the Champagne prize for best personal on a trifling pretext recently? Look what I found in other recent editions:

“The Classified Manager cried when we asked him to name a winner. That’s becasue he loves you all equally. As such, he’ll be keepint this issue’s prize on the basis that it’s unfair to pick a favourite”.

and then

“Box no. 08/09 doesn’t like to waste time of frivolities. So we drank the champagne for her. The empty bottle is on its way.”

My sub is up for renewal. It’s about 100 euros. Should I do it? Or am I only fooling myself that I will have time to read it?

Comments
sus

on 19 June 2005 at 15:58

Yes to anything and everything Narnia (though I’m reserving judgement on the film coming out at Christmas), yes to Georgette Heyer and absolutely yes to Siri Hustvedt. What a book.

belgianwaffle

on 20 June 2005 at 16:26

Hiya Sus, always nice to have one’s views endorsed. We are obviously reading twins. Do you like Kate Atkinson and Mavis Cheek as well? By the by, fear film is bound to disappoint.

sus

on 21 June 2005 at 00:10

Have read both, lukewarm feelings I’m afraid.I know-feel the same re film-got all excited at the cinema when I saw the trailer (in May for Christmas?!) but was kind of disgusted: if they’re going to go the whole hog, which they probably are, series being so lucrative at the mo, why are they starting with the bloody LTheW&TheW? 0

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 14:21

Because Star wars started with Episode 4? 0

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:58

Sus, alas. JD has a point though. 0

sus

on 21 June 2005 at 23:54

Yes well.But I think you’ll both agree that there are a number of worlds of difference between Yoda and Aslan??? And just because Mr Lucas stuck his hand in the fire… 0

jackdalton

on 22 June 2005 at 12:23

Different worlds? Not at all — variation on a theme that’s all. But don’t get me started on that…. I have to kill a dog. 0

sus

on 22 June 2005 at 15:52

It being midday & you being an Englishman in the sun? 0

jackdalton

on 23 June 2005 at 00:00

English!?! English!!! 0

sus

on 24 June 2005 at 02:16

Well, I know. But you were all like “got to kill the dog” and it was midday…what’s a girl to think? (other than hee hee, successfully provoked?) 0

jackdalton

on 24 June 2005 at 11:04

Now that was just evil…. ๐Ÿ˜› 0

sus

on 25 June 2005 at 13:23

That’s right…welcome to my world. 0

belgianwaffle

on 25 June 2005 at 20:11

Hi Sus, hi Jack, glad to see you two engaging in some slagging here. 0

jackdalton

on 26 June 2005 at 14:45

So… et me get this right. You are calling Sus a slag?! 0

sus

on 26 June 2005 at 18:22

Eh, JD, I think I quote when I say “linguistically stunted”…to help you understand, I shall refer again to some worlds of difference, this time between the verb “to slag” and the noun “a slag”. Waffle, I knew what you were saying. 0

jackdalton

on 26 June 2005 at 18:57

Oh that’s ok so. I’d have been upset if you were. Because that would mean you were calling me one too. ๐Ÿ˜
Thanks for the help Sus.
[ps I think the noun is slag; a being an indefinite article which can be added to a noun to form a noun group. But you would know that… being too old to classify as Generation Txt… ๐Ÿ˜› ] 0

sus

on 27 June 2005 at 19:56

As you say. But I just didn’t want to confuse you with little details ๐Ÿ˜‰ 0

jackdalton

on 27 June 2005 at 20:45
(
Comment Modified) [Got away with the ‘too old to classify as gen txt’ comment…*(evil grin)*] 0
Sweetie(s) given ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ

sus

on 28 June 2005 at 16:58

I thought it beneath me, really, to dignify that with a comment. But now I’m feeling happy happy happy so I will let you away with it… coz…
I know I’m younger than you. 0

jackdalton

on 28 June 2005 at 17:19

Ah… the cruellest cut! One of those five point palm exploding heart things… 0

belgianwaffle

on 28 June 2005 at 21:24

Hello, hello, it’s me, don’t forget me..I live here. 0

sus

on 28 June 2005 at 22:55

I know you do! Look at how harsh JD is being to me – be mean to him with me…I promise it’s fun ๐Ÿ˜‰ 0

jackdalton

on 29 June 2005 at 01:01

Harsh?! I’m being positivly a gentleman-ish.
Oh hi ‘waf. Sorry for hogging your bandwidth. It’s her fault though. She’s the one being mean & cruel. So I have to assume the hard, calculating, dead-eye cynical stance for self defence. A bit like you, really ๐Ÿ˜› 0

belgianwaffle

on 01 July 2005 at 21:37

Clears throat noisily before entering blog and watches JD and Sus leaping apart nervously. 0

jackdalton

on 01 July 2005 at 22:15

Story of it all, isn’t it… I spend my life leaping – and usually before looking – in and out of places and events.
[Anyway, she’s too old for me…. ] 0

belgianwaffle

on 02 July 2005 at 08:44

Yes, I understand that gen txt as we must know you from now on… 0

sus

on 11 July 2005 at 12:08

*peeks in*
*pats self on back for having read The Red Pony in Spanish*
*slides out again* (sinuosly coz nt nly s she yung bt also glriusly flxbl due 2 hrs spnt doing yga)
gen txt ws it? 0

jackdalton

on 11 July 2005 at 13:06

SEE!!! Cruel, clever snd mocking….. I’m going home and takin’ my football with me. So there… ๐Ÿ˜› 0

sus

on 12 July 2005 at 17:11

Football? And yet you never struck me as the sporty type ๐Ÿ˜‰ 0

jackdalton

on 12 July 2005 at 19:31

Hidden depths ๐Ÿ˜‰ 0

belgianwaffle

on 14 July 2005 at 20:46

Hello are you two still here? Get out and enjoy the sunshine. 0

jackdalton

on 14 July 2005 at 23:11

We are. In separate parts of Europe. But we are…. ๐Ÿ˜› 0

belgianwaffle

on 16 July 2005 at 07:29

Well, that’s good.. 0

sus

on 18 July 2005 at 17:50

*Gasps weakly*
It?s ten to seven and 36 degrees out there. Do I have to?
*bastes self in more sunscreen and crawls out again* 0

jackdalton

on 18 July 2005 at 17:52

AND she eats bee poo… 0

sus

on 18 July 2005 at 18:03

*raises eyebrow*
*shakes head*
More puerile humour, Mr D? I had expected more…(or less?) 0

belgianwaffle

on 18 July 2005 at 19:06

Hello, hello, just checking in to see that you’re both still ok here. 0

jackdalton

on 18 July 2005 at 19:07
(
Comment Modified) Well, I’m upset… she’s hurt my feelings. And I’m lashing out indiscriminately.
Besides, I’ll be ok in a day or two when I’m on my holidays. 0

sus

on 19 July 2005 at 20:26

You can have a little Haagen-Daaz too. (cures all wounds) 0

jackdalton

on 20 July 2005 at 22:13

Ok ๐Ÿ™‚
But only if it’s Darina Allen haagen-dazs. And honey free. 0

sus

on 21 July 2005 at 17:26

Hmm. I think both DA and HD would be very distressed to know that you think they work together…
I have banned the honey & ordered an extra tub for your holliers ๐Ÿ™‚ 0

Naming

15 June, 2005 at 10:18 pm by belgianwaffle

Some random things. I have been tagged by Fluid Pudding.
I am pleased and proud. Fluid Pudding is my hero, also I’veย  never been tagged before so am revelling in new found popularity. I will spend some time mulling and revert. Hang on to your hats.

Via the sarcastic journalist, I have found a baby name site
which I believe is worth exploring further. This reminds me of
Mr. Waffle’s reading on twins. It appears people often like to
give their twins names that go together like Bob and Dylan.
Really, is it any wonder children hate their parents?

Comments

Lilo

on 17 June 2005 at 11:42

I can commiserate, my H will be leaving me to go camping for 2 days while I look after a 2 year old and will be 7 months pregnant. He keeps on doing these ‘last chance before the baby comes’ things.

Kate_Sith

on 17 June 2005 at 12:20

We recently had a case involving twins called Darren and Derrin. That’s just cruel.

Locotes

on 17 June 2005 at 18:30

Tod and Rod could work.

belgianwaffle

on 17 June 2005 at 21:15

Undercover, I’d never noticed that before but I bet you are right.
Lilo, does he not realise that he already has a baby? Though I suppose that the thought of all three of you going together is worse than letting him off on his own.
Kate, Locotes, good suggestions, I’ve come up with Aurora and Dawn, I think I may be on to something here or should I stick with Gobnait and Fachtna (Kate, you think these aren’t real names, but they are, oh they are, Loc, back me up here).

beachhutman

on 17 June 2005 at 23:44

My cats are Fortnum and Mason. But not for twins. oooh noooo.

belgianwaffle

on 18 June 2005 at 08:08

Oh, I dunno, has a certain ring to it…

Locotes

on 19 June 2005 at 16:14

Larry and Barry.
Bill and Ben.
Grainne and Aine.
Or, of course, Podge and Rodge.I actually know a Fachtna – the poor sod…

Lilo

on 20 June 2005 at 12:46

To be fair, if I didn’t want him to go, he wouldn’t. I’m just worried about filling the time without us getting cross with each other.

belgianwaffle

on 20 June 2005 at 16:20

Lilo, you mean you and the infant I presume, most understandable.
Locotes, Ben and Jerry?

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 17:08

Haagen and Das?

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:55

Sandy and Lexy?

Tallis and Byrd

14 June, 2005 at 9:14 pm by belgianwaffle

These are the instructions we received from our neighbours on feeding their cats while they are away getting married. I like cats, but is this a little excessive?

There are two cats, T & B. T is the large tabby (ex-male). B is the smaller black-and-white one (ex-female), with a necklace round her neck saying “B”. T is on a diet & is perpetually hungry. Inside the bag is a measuring glass, with “T” marked on it & a maximum level. The maximum level is for one day. For each meal, two rows of biscuits in the bottom of the glass are enough. (T doesn’t think so, but we know it). T will always eat all of his food & then try and eat B’s food as well, when she has finished eating. Therefore, while B is eating, you have to stay in the kitchen & watch her. When she has finished
(& she never eats everything in the bowl) put the bowl on top of the cupboard out of reach of T. If T manages to eat some of B’s food despite your precautions, deduct the amount he ate from his next meal.
B:
Inside the bag is a measuring glass, with “B” marked on it & a
maximum level. The maximum level is for B for one day. Since B never eats very much at one time, you might as well give her the maximum amount in her bowl all at once. When she has stopped eating, put the bowl out of reach. When she comes back in the kitchen asking for food, put the bowl down for her again, making sure T doesn’t get any. No need to throw away the biscuits she doesn’t eat. Just add more biscuits. She will eat everything eventually.ย  In the same cupboard where the food is, there is a box of vitamin pills &
little bags of anti-hairball treats. You can give each cat one of each of these each day, if you want to.

Catcare

They both like being stroked & played with. There are brushes and toys for them in the top second drawer from the right in the big chest of drawers in the hall.

Enjoy.

Comments
Beth

(Homepage)

on 14 June 2005 at 21:45

Clearly, you have never fed my cats. Doing so requires a 4 hour training course and memorization of a 216 page manual.

KateEvans

on 14 June 2005 at 22:11

That’s quite sweet and a little sick.

lauren35

on 14 June 2005 at 22:27

I can’t help but compare them to your instructions for looking after the Princess for 24 hours…..

jackdalton

on 14 June 2005 at 22:27

Whatever happened to bring them in, open a tin of KiteKat and a kick them out the door when done?
Those aren’t cats – they’re postmodern ersatz of some kind….

beachhutman

on 14 June 2005 at 22:45

Coated in mud and baked in a hot oven they make a nutricious snack

ladyjane

on 14 June 2005 at 22:46

The instructions sound like the “hard sums” we had to do in school….if T eats twice as fast as B and you use B’s measuring glass to fill one bowl for both to eat from, how long will it take for T to eat his/its recommended daily intake?

poggle

on 15 June 2005 at 10:46

That T must be a right porker if he can’t get on top of a cupboard …..

belgianwaffle

on 15 June 2005 at 21:54

Norah, Beth, you are obviously true cat lovers.
Kate, yes.
Lauren, that’s quite funny actually.
JD, well, yeah, that’s what I think…
BHM, precisely.
Ladyjane – excellent and very true.
Pog, T is one of the biggest cats I’ve ever seen. He’s the size of a small elephant with extra jowls.

Locotes

on 17 June 2005 at 18:24

Jesus. We’re big cat people (that’s not as exciting as it sounds) – but all we do is slap some Whiskas in a bowl and let him at it. Tell those guys to stops arsing about with their instructions and boot T out for some exercise.
Some people…

belgianwaffle

on 17 June 2005 at 21:12

Yes, well, he’s English and I think that the English are kind of sentimental about their cats.

Dickensian Diseases

13 June, 2005 at 5:10 pm by belgianwaffle

The Glam Potter rang to ask advice on vomiting babies; confidently advised probably fine.

I rang today to check on the well being of the patient. She has scarlet fever.

Comments
KateEvans

on 13 June 2005 at 17:28

I thought scarlet fever was one of those Hollywood illnesses that only really glamorous and/or tragic types get. What is it?I have a friend whose son has only thrown up once in his six years of life (not including baby spitups, obviously). I intend to make him my child’s role model.

dmts

on 13 June 2005 at 17:31

KE is going to have the first baby that cleans up his/her own spitups and will probably change his/her own nappies.

lexylexylalala

on 13 June 2005 at 17:34

well you didn’t charge for the diagnosis, so no harm done then :)wow.

beachhutman

on 13 June 2005 at 20:58

Never knew why people got so excited about “Gone with the wind”.

jackdalton

on 14 June 2005 at 01:08

BHM: it’s probably something to do with the relief involved…

poggle

on 14 June 2005 at 10:42

Scarlet fever always sounds so old-fashioned – like quinsey (no, no – not the sleuth) – and like swooning and smelling salts.

belgianwaffle

on 14 June 2005 at 21:25

Firstly, you will all be relieved to hear that scarlet fever is no longer as serious as it once was and little L went back to the creche today a well child.
HJB, um, I think that the course of antibiotics is helping.
Kate, well, L isn’t glamourous or tragic, just small and suffering from a rash and sore throat. And trust me, your child will throw up. No, really. On the plus side, as H points out it may well be able to change it’s own nappy.
Lexy, well, yes, except to my reputation as a know it all.
BHM, har. JD, har di har.
Yeah pog, I know, like palsy or possibly palsey.

poggle

on 15 June 2005 at 10:16

Yes – and ague …
Ed: That’s quite enought Dickensian diseases, thank you very much.

Fun, fun, fun

12 June, 2005 at 7:11 pm by belgianwaffle

The publishing exec is over for the weekend.ย  The Princess is beside herself with glee. We have all snaffled a range of exciting books. It’s just marvellous. Let me tell you about the wonderful weekend she’s been having.

By the time the pub exec arrived at the station to greet her welcoming party on Friday, I was in a somewhat frazzled state for the following reasons:

1. My glasses had broken so every time I looked around to see what the Princess was doing, they went flying across the car.

2. Hop Hop has sealed his reputation for unreliability. He came unstuck at the creche.ย  He is filled with tiny marble like things and one of the other children had got some stuck up her
nose and given herself a nose bleed. In the back of the car, the Princess painstakingly unpicked the network of clips holding Hop Hop together and proceeded to eat them. Then she started on the marbles.ย  I stopped the car and took him, the marbles and the clips from her. Much wailing.

3. To deal with the Hop Hop problem, I gave her the Father’s Day present she had created to mind. She unwrapped it and
threw the mug around the car.

4. The station car park is really complicated.

5. I ran into a work contact at the station who insisted on chatting about work while the Princess clapped my hands together and ran round the station.

So then, when we got home the electricity had gone so we sent Mr. Waffle out for chips for dinner and spent the evening doing a jigsaw of the London underground by candlelight. I
think I may have mentioned before that I see these weekends in Brussels as a kind of calming retreat for the publishing exec.; when in London she and her film producer and ad exec housemates go to parties featuring famous people, it must make a nice change for her to do jigsaws. The rest of the weekend she spent entertaining the Princess, doing some mild shopping and cooking and cleaning for us. Her days began promptly at 7.30 with the Princess banging on her bedroom door looking for a story. She’s just gone off with her brother to get a video for this evening. You can really see why she loves her visits to Brussels. Ahem.

Meanwhile up to date illness report. The one mosquito in Belgium this Summer (it’s a bit chilly) has lodged in the Princess’s room and taken great chunks out of her little hands
which, in reaction, have swollen up like the Michelin man’s.ย  Oh
dear.

Comments
belgianwaffle

on 13 June 2005 at 17:01
(
Comment Modified) I have nothing other than that a famous glam cookery writer is very glam in the flesh but wears a lot of make up…hardly earth shattering.

Minkleberry

on 13 June 2005 at 17:23

Is it the childrens cookery writer? She also wears cakeloads of the stuff and her hair is made of wire wool.
*Minks then discovers that children’s cookery writer is best friend of Belg and blushes furiously*

belgianwaffle

on 14 June 2005 at 21:17

No, no, even more famous than children’s cookery writer…though is mother of a number of sprogs.

Minkleberry

on 15 June 2005 at 19:23

Ooooh oh oh oh. Yes, really? Does she smell?

belgianwaffle

on 15 June 2005 at 21:51

Well, not that was mentioned.

My love affair with Martin Lukes

9 June, 2005 at 9:17 pm by belgianwaffle

There was a time in my life when I used to get the FT on my desk every morning. It wasn’t exactly essential to my job, but it made me feel important, and I used to flick through it in a somewhat desultory fashion.ย  The only things I consistently read were Lucy Kellaway and Martin Lukes.ย  Imagine my surprise on discovering that the Martin Lukes column is actually written by the fabulous Ms. Kellaway.ย  To give you a mild flavour of the wonderfulness of Ms. Kellaway see extract below on childrearing which the best dressed diplomat forwarded me from Ms. Kellaway’s article last Monday:

1. We cannot all have deeply marvellous husbands. if you do not happen to have one, do not worry: a marvellous nanny works just as well.

2. Make sure you have got a lot of money. Not coping when you have money is a lot easier than not coping when you
have not.

3. Take care over the genetic make-up of your children. Seven placid ones are a lot easier than one volatile tearaway.

4. Never wonder if your work-life balance is right, never read books about how others cope. This will only make you anxious and guilty.

5. Always try to renew your children’s passports the moment they expire. If you have to do it in a hurry, then try to get their names right.

6. Except in emergencies, avoid helping your children with their homework. The idea is that they learn the periodic table, not you.

7. Above all, remember that socks can be a huge source of stress. Six collections of socks can make the life of
the stay-at-work mum a veritable nightmare. I have found that if you abandon the bourgeois convention that people need their own socks, or that the two need to match, life is very, very much easier.

And good news, I see from my friend the internet that [Lucy’s Kellaway’s]๏ฟฝbook.. Martin Lukes: Who Moved My BlackBerry(TM) is published in July 2005 by Penguin.ย  Hah, Harry Potter eat your heart out, I’m off to pre-order on Amazon.

Comments
Locotes

on 10 June 2005 at 11:16

I’m sure of course that you assured himself that Number 1 wasn’t an issue?

jackdalton

on 11 June 2005 at 13:45

That is tragic. I always prefered Martin Lukes. And now that’s gone… and I am full of existential dread.
What’s real, I ask myself. Is anything?
A similarish sort of 20six revelation has recently played out here. And yes, I was surprised. To the point where now I am adrift in a sea of doubt and anxiety; could Waffel really be Locotes in digital drag? Could KateEvans have a beard and a big (beer) belly? Could missmorgan be american? Could BratChild be just a shallow makkie-up? Or worse. Could I be fictional?
What a thing to do to a guy’s Saturday!

belgianwaffle

on 11 June 2005 at 15:08

Negrito, yes, why do you ask?
Locotes, of course.
Jack, that’s funny. I like the idea of being Locotes in digital drag…

jackdalton

on 11 June 2005 at 18:28

Ah ha! So is that an admission? ๐Ÿ™‚

Locotes

on 13 June 2005 at 11:55

Handily enough, I like the idea of waffle liking the idea of being me in digital drag.

belgianwaffle

on 13 June 2005 at 17:00

Is this getting a bit metaphysical?

negrito

on 13 June 2005 at 17:05

hehe.. because i might come around in a few days , thought you could have good adresses ! ๐Ÿ˜€

belgianwaffle

on 14 June 2005 at 21:21

Well, what kind of addresses are you interested in? I can do restaurants, certainly…

Revenge

8 June, 2005 at 8:31 pm by belgianwaffle

Me: Hee, hee, hee.

If you type “Venetia Quick” into google, guess what site comes up first in the list?
Mr. Waffle: Don’t know.

Me: Oh come on.

Him: Belgian Waffle?

Me: Oh yes, indeedy.

Him: Well, I hope you didn’t say anything actionable.

This is a good point because having twins is going to beggar us. Yesterday I paid a ย€400 deposit to ensure creche places for the little mites. On the plus side we will be a “famille nombreuse” which will give us all kinds of rights under the generous Belgian social system.
Comments
Locoteson 09 June 2005 at 18:28

Such as a free massive family estate car? Or a new home with many bedrooms? How lovely…

belgianwaffleon 09 June 2005 at 21:29

BHM, I am glad that you would not begrudge me, very important!
Locotes, um, generous, but not that generous, I was hoping for a tax rebate on creche fees since you ask.

Locoteson 10 June 2005 at 11:12

Oh. Well all help is good help I suppose… You never know though, pushing for that house might bring rewards……or annoy them so they give you nothing. But life is full of risks eh?

beachhutmanon 10 June 2005 at 13:39

I’m a very unbegrudging type really. ‘Cept for MEPs.

belgianwaffleon 11 June 2005 at 15:11

Locotes, am I you in drag? Jack wants to know.
BHM, good stuff. Suppose I’m really an MEP though? No, of course, I’m not.

Locoteson 13 June 2005 at 11:56

The funny thing is, if he was right, then I’m just having a conversation with myself. But of course he’s not right. Nope. Not at all.

belgianwaffleon 13 June 2005 at 17:00

No, we’re talking to each other. Of course.

LRB personals

4 June, 2005 at 1:48 pm by belgianwaffle

For the literary types:
Salinger, 33, seeks Sagan.
For the weird:
There’s enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three electric cars across a sizeable desert. I’m more than aware that this isn’t actually a selling point, but nonetheless it’s my favourite statistic about me.ย  Man, 33 – officially Three Cars Craazy.
Box no.07/10

I mean, really, is he honestly hoping for a bulging postbag?
Yeah, ok, I’d prefer him to Salinger seeking Sagan as well, but I’m not sure that he’s selling his best points..

Meanwhile the organisers of the bottle of champagne prize for best personal ad are out of control, see this:
“Box no. 07/08 sent a complimentary letter with her ad, so she gets the champagne this issue and also sets a precedent for others to follow. Ads are 80 pence per word, but manners and pathetic grovelling cost you nothing.”

Things not to say to a pregnant woman

4 June, 2005 at 1:33 pm by belgianwaffle

“Gosh, you seem to get bigger every half hour”
“Do you know you pant when you climb up to the third floor?”
“How can you bend over to pick up your little girl?”
“Were you this enormous last time?”
“If the babies are 375 grams and 410 grams now, that means they have to increase 10 times in weight before they’re born”
As the pregnant one takes off her coat “Oh my goodness, you’re pregnant”. As she turns to hang it up “Very pregnant! What are you:8 months?”

And while we’re on the subject of tactlessness and pregnancy, you may not have had the opportunity to read about Venetia Quick who is a presenter on some Dublin radio show.

Herself and her partner were in the Irish Times weekend magazine (itself a publication inspiring both pity and horror) last Saturday. Here’s what the article says:

“Eight months pregnant with her first child, Q102 presenter and producer Venetia Quick is never out of her killer heels and refuses to spend money on maternity wear. “My only concession to pregnancy has been a pair of size 12 low cut jeans and some stretchy combats,” she says. “I’ve covered the bump with belts, cardigans, scarves.ย  I’ve been as creative as I can.”

Yes, Venetia, making friends and influencing people, eh๏ฟฝ No, I am not just jealous.

Comments
Minkleberry

on 05 June 2005 at 17:55

belts? Is she a leprechaun??

gingerandorange

on 06 June 2005 at 01:32

everyone else is just jealous and ‘Venetia’ is clearly in denial

poggle

on 06 June 2005 at 10:54

I feel sorry for the woman – imagine being called Venetia Quick. Dear me.
And I bet she’s bought American size 12s. Innit.

Kate_Sith

on 06 June 2005 at 17:39

I worked with a girl last year who was pregnant with twins and still wearing size 12 trousers from top shop ‘with the top button undone’. I think I was at school last time I fitted into a Topshop trouser.

belgianwaffle

on 08 June 2005 at 20:30

OOOH, you are all so nice. Well, assuming the best in your case JD. And TWO sweeties G&O, too kind. Pog, I would love to agree with you but there was a photo in the bloody magazine and she does look nauseatingly svelte. Kate, distressing. Minks, I liked your comment the best, could you are the bees knees.

dmts

on 08 June 2005 at 20:34

Good lord – I can’t cover up a big lunch with a belt – I think I may be in trouble.

belgianwaffle

on 09 June 2005 at 21:20

No, not at all. It’s when you can’t cover yourself with a double decker bus that trouble looms.

Beth

(Homepage)

on 10 June 2005 at 18:56

Hey, can I come rub your belly? I like that even better than the boneheaded comments.

belgianwaffle

on 11 June 2005 at 15:09

Yeah, that is annoying…it’s still my stomach, in there somewhere.

Sarcastic Journalist

(Homepage)

on 15 June 2005 at 04:39

I also love “Wow. You’re huge!” or another personal favorite
“You planned this so why are you freaking out?”

belgianwaffle

on 15 June 2005 at 22:04

Hello, sarcastic journalist. I like your blog. I also like the simplicity of “Wow. Your’re huge”. Obviously, that’s not the kind of thing you’d notice by yourself.

Low standards

1 June, 2005 at 7:11 pm by belgianwaffle

The Princess appears to be better. And my genius husband has found us a house for a fortnight in Normandy so it looks like we won’t be spending the Summer in our flat after all.ย  Rejoice.ย  My friend who I met for lunch says that my doctor probably won’t let me out of the country so close to my due date. A month before isn’t close, is it?

Comments
dmtson 01 June 2005 at 20:48

It’s only a problem if you’re flying? Isn’t it?

formerfilmexperton 01 June 2005 at 22:48

they have doctors in France. Anyhow you have family history of late arrivals!!!

jackdaltonon 02 June 2005 at 10:48

Do a runner. Don’t tell the doctor…. It’ll be like being young again: Run Away! Run Away! ๐Ÿ™‚

beachhutmanon 02 June 2005 at 14:28

avoid the calvados and you’ll be fine….

poggleon 03 June 2005 at 11:03

Just make sure there’s plenty of boiling water and towels. That’s what they always did on ‘Little House on the Prairie’ – and they were fine.

JoJoon 04 June 2005 at 12:34

half of all twins delivered before the 37th week, apparently. Bet that’s cheered you up hasn’t it ;o)

belgianwaffleon 04 June 2005 at 13:14

Minks, Jojo, I’m ignoring you (thanks for the sweetie though, M).
Pog, yes, I feel you are entirely right. In fact one of our books has instructions on emergency deliveries at home, so that should be handy.
HJB, um, I hope so.
FFE, just cos Danny’s always late.
JD, very tempting.
BHM, will dutifully steer clear of the Calvados.


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