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Archive for July, 2005

Weighty matters

31 July, 2005 at 9:37 pm by belgianwaffle

Me: I bought a new dress.  Do you like it? Try to marry truth and tact.

Him: It’s ideal for around the house.

I went for a scan during the week and tested the doctor’s scales, in the interests of everyone’s happiness, we have no weighing scales at home. For your information, the twins now weigh 1.3kgs each. This is average for a single baby at this stage. This means I am twice as large as a normal 7 month pregnant person.  Are you scared?

Me: Do you know what I weigh now?

Him: No.

Me: 71 kilos

Him: Well, you are pregnant with twins etc.

Me: What do you weigh?

Him: You’d really rather not know.


Him: 72 kilos.

Princess (addressing herself to stereo which is playing musical backing to Ella Fitzgerald): Tu joues très bien monsieur.


on 01 August 2005 at 12:49

I could tell you how much I weigh and it would make you feel slender and positively sylph-like- but then I’d have to kill you xx 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 02 August 2005 at 10:57

Mr W is brilliant – ‘it’s alright for round the house’ indeed. I can see why you married him. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 02 August 2005 at 22:19

Like Minkleberry I could do the same! I’m just seriously hoping my thyroid function is out of kilter else I have some serious dieting and exercising to do. As a pregnant mum of twins consider yourself extremely sylph like! 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 03 August 2005 at 07:28

Are you anorexic? 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 04 August 2005 at 12:41

Stroppy, of course there are no right answers, but he SHOULD have known that. Um, yes, pog. Minks, StarCorner, you know that I measure 163cms in my stockinged feet. I am short alas whereas I am sure that you are both tall and willowy.
Yes, HJB, I worry… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 05 August 2005 at 18:28

Belg, I love you for thinking I am tall and willowy. Sadly, I am 161 centimetres tall. I envy your extra 2- What does the world look like from up there? 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 05 August 2005 at 20:20

Well, I’m 173cms and never you mind how many kilos and the ultrasound tech said today that my baby was sizewise ‘above average’ and that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it, dammit. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


on 06 August 2005 at 12:51

Minks, you sound tall and willowy and I’m sure it’s all in the mind. That’s what I try to tell myself anyway.
KE, that sounds like an excellent excuse. With the added merit that it may even be true. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Sarcastic Journalist


on 08 August 2005 at 17:13

I think that if I were you, I’d pretend that it just means I can eat THAT MUCH MORE. ���


on 08 August 2005 at 20:02

SJ, now you’re talking! 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


Risking life and limb

30 July, 2005 at 7:30 am by belgianwaffle

I received the email below from my father-in-law, who along with m-i-l is hoping to join us in France. It’s all worry, worry, worry.

“We still want to go to France very much, but some concerns emerge. What are the possibilities of being shot. The hunting season in France has been brought forward by a week, and an outfit called something like the Ligue pour la Protection des Oiseaux predicts 9000 tonnes of lead pellets, propelled out of 250 million cartridges will soon be whistling around our ears, with particular reference to duck-shooting in the Somme estuary. Being blown up. A newly-created public park in Lille (seehow they are targeting us) has found to be home to over 200 WWIhand-grenades, each capable of maiming within a 25 metre range. The excuse is that the contractors landscaping the park trucked in topsoil from the Flanders area, a lame excuse to me (nopun intended). Being misled. In Paris, once again in our theatre of operations(see how the military jargon so readily overwhelms one in times like these) unidentified agents have been pasting convincing Latin translations of street names over street signs, appropriately enough  throughout theLatin Quarter (eg Vicus Scholarium instead of Rue des Ecoles). Prime suspects are militant Latinists – a new one on me -from the local Tridentine church.

    Mother-in-law continues to improve, but I am not sure
    that she is up for full-scale counter-terrorist and counter-intelligence operations.

    Can you advise soonest, please?




    on 31 July 2005 at 12:06

    Eheh, seen from Paris the worse thing you risk is rain on the head ! 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 31 July 2005 at 21:27

    Loc, only very mildly delusional and, yes, jovial.
    Negrito, I can’t help feeling that this is a very real risk though… 0
    Sweetie(s) given


    on 31 July 2005 at 23:39

    Lol, If you need Gritoland security guards just let me know !!! 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���

    Friar Tuck

    on 02 August 2005 at 18:02

    Suggest the American solution… carry an AK-47 with you at all times. ���


    on 04 August 2005 at 12:41

    Oooh, security. Thank you gentlemen!

    The genetic code

    29 July, 2005 at 10:46 am by belgianwaffle

    The Princess is very like her Daddy. Everyone says that she looks just like him. She acts just like him too. She is the only toddler who is VERY cautious. The other day her father
    offered to lift her up to walk along a wall and she looked at him as though he was mad and said reprovingly “c’est PAS un bonne idée, je peux tomber!”

    There is, however, one respect in which she very much resembles her mother and this is in her desire to communicate.  Constantly.  Her Dublin grandfather calls her Mademoiselle Blah Blah.  Already, she has realised how socially useful this can be (stop sniggering). On Sunday, a friend of Mr. Waffle’s came to lunch and during proceedings, the Princess and I had to depart to the bathroom. As she sat on her little pot she looked up at me anxiously “Mummy, who talks to Luca?” “Daddy will talk to him sweetheart”.  I must say, she looked distinctly dubious at the proposition that her father and his friend could keep up a conversation without our assistance; you have to sympathise.

    I have explained to her that when her father is trying to give directions or read maps in the car, she must stop talking for
    everyone’s sake. She finds this deeply unsatisfactory and now every time she sees a map she wails dolefully “mais moi,
    je veux PARLER”. That’s my girl.


    on 29 July 2005 at 11:29

    And the princess climbs ever higher in my estimation. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 29 July 2005 at 18:56

    What a chuckle I had at today’s post!!! Go girl princess!!! 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 29 July 2005 at 19:31

    Fantastic! She has a great future ahead of her. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 30 July 2005 at 07:27

    Hey, Bobble, Norah, Star, Sus, does this make me correct in my deduction that all bloggers are great talkers? 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 31 July 2005 at 10:56

    I think your deduction may well be correct Mrs Waffle!!! 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 31 July 2005 at 21:27

    And a good thing too, eh? 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 02 August 2005 at 10:54

    We already knew that poor mite is genius, waffle. This merely confirms it. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 04 August 2005 at 12:38

    Thank you Pog and a warm welcome back from exotic foreign parts. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    Happy Anniversary

    28 July, 2005 at 10:57 am by belgianwaffle

    This day, a mere four years ago, Mr. Waffle and I were married.  It was a beautiful day and we had a wonderful time. And then we were married. Very odd.  It’s taken me some time to get used to the idea but, you know, I like it. Though, of course, at the time, I didn’t realise that it would entail changing my name to Waffle. And now we have a little family. Isn’t this even odder? Mr. Waffle is, obviously, the world’s best husband and father. I know this because the Princess keeps telling me “My Daddy great” and also because every time we see my mother and he leaves the room to do something she says, sotto voce, “Gosh, he’s marvellous, isn’t he?”

    Of course, I know this also because I picked him out and persuaded him that it would be a good idea to marry me and I am NEVER wrong. And also he is taking me to an expensive
    restaurant for lunch. And furthermore he rose with the lark this morning and took the Princess to her creche by tram
    while I lay indolently in bed. And because of the thousands of little things he does to try to make my life perfect. And also the big things. And because he loves us both.



    on 28 July 2005 at 13:19

    My mother used to do that ‘isn’t he marvellous’ bit too – I always felt the sub-text was ‘why on earth did he marry you?’
    Many felicitations to you and Mr Waffle (and the princess and the baking waffles) 2
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 28 July 2005 at 15:24

    Awww…bless. While I’m sure if our paths had crossed on Pana one day, that things would have been quite different, I’m very happy for you.
    😉 1
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 28 July 2005 at 15:38

    Crikey- I can’t take real heartfelt sentiment in this condition. I’m in floods here.
    Congratulations xx 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 29 July 2005 at 10:44

    Thanks Norah. Heather, 2 sweeties, I’m overwhelmed and also completely in agreement re mothers. But we’re just paranoid right?
    Loc, well, maybe but I think when I was last living in Cork, you were about 7, so possibly not. Ta for the sweetie.
    Minks, I am touched. I am also still hormonal, I weep at everything. I sympathise. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 30 July 2005 at 08:54

    You left Cork when you were 3 years old?? My God, I’m shocked. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 31 July 2005 at 21:28

    Well, no, but you are really young, aren’t you? Sort of 25ish or something like that? 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 02 August 2005 at 10:55

    Belated Happy Anniversary Missus …. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 04 August 2005 at 12:39

    Ta pog. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 04 August 2005 at 22:01

    Well, yes…that was sort of the point of the subtle compliment I was paying you.
    Which promptly sailed right over your head.
    Ah well. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 06 August 2005 at 12:47

    But Loc, you’ve never, to your knowledge, seen me. Now if you had seen me walking down Pana and said to your friend, she can’t be a day over 25, THAT would be a compliment. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 08 August 2005 at 14:06

    Oh please. As if a small detail like that makes a difference – I just KNOW that that’s the case. Trust me.Though incidentally, I think the first picture you used on your blog contained your good self – you shared the Princess’ wonderful locks if I remember correctly…
    and you didn’t look a day over 25.

    Which I told a nearby friend.

    Who looked at me strangely admittedly… 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 08 August 2005 at 20:04

    Locotes, you are brilliant. And of course correct. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    on 09 August 2005 at 10:06

    We’re both just wonderful people – how marvelous life is. 0
    Sweetie(s) given ���


    Improving Mother-in-Law

    27 July, 2005 at 11:07 am by belgianwaffle

    This arrived from my father-in-law yesterday: The suspect is definitely on the mend, with the medical team talking of a release into the tender mercy of her husband this coming week-end. Improved life signs include normal insatiable curiosity about other patients on the ward (sociological background, what the Polish girl thinks of working in MacDonalds in Tallaght etc) [see men do marry women like their mothers]. On balance this is a good sign. How small Dublin is – I was accosted in the supermarket today by a hill-running guy who is involved in mountain rescue to find him asking me “how is your wife?”. Apparently he was on call on the day in question and would have plodded up into the hills had not the helicopter boys scooped the pool


    27 July, 2005 at 11:00 am by belgianwaffle

    The Dutch Mama came to stay last night.  Just for one night and she brought the Princess a present.  The Princess was so pleased that she took off all her clothes and ran around naked.  A new phase perhaps?  I have just realised that I never take kiddie presents when I go to stay with people.  I will reform.  The Dutch Mama also brought loads of gear for the twins because she is kind and good.  To my deep regret, I opened it in the presence of the Princess who spent some time trying futilely to get into a 0-3 months babygro (MINE, MINE).  She’s going to be so delighted when these babies are born.


    NorahSplogon 27 July 2005 at 16:48

    Oh dear – the royal nose is going to be put out of joint. Poor princess. 0
    Sweetie(s) given

    belgianwaffleon 28 July 2005 at 11:10

    Yes, Loc, I’m hoping she’ll grow out of it, apparently her uncle was a great stripper when a toddler and he seems to have grown out of it.
    Yes, Norah, I’m terrified. 0
    Sweetie(s) given

    I’m not a feminist but

    26 July, 2005 at 2:45 pm by belgianwaffle

    The other day, I heard a young woman say I’m not a feminist or any of that rubbish, but I hate it when older men patronise me. She went on to explain that for all of her career, she had worked for older men. What, she thinks that the rest of us have spent our careers working for teenage girls? Does she feel that it’s necessary to qualify her criticisms in this way so
    as not to annoy older men or does she really believe that feminism is rubbish and it’s important to say so at every possible juncture? I found either interpretation very depressing. What did I say? Nothing. I am a feminist, but I’m a coward. Sigh.

    belgianwaffleon 26 July 2005 at 14:55

    It is supremely annoying, isn’t it? I wish I could pull myself together and say something. Perhaps next time I’ll say, “you know, it sounds to me like you might be just a teensy bit of a feminist, are you worried about that?” and watch for squirming. Or, more likely, I won’t.

    Jeithzorroon 26 July 2005 at 15:07

    That does seem to be the all-purpose-loophole-to-offend . I’m not racist but, I’m not being mean but, I don’t think the earth should be run by aardvarks with telepathy but.
    Regrettably I too can only vent my spleen behind the safety glass of blogging.

    NorahSplogon 26 July 2005 at 15:24

    I’m not a blogger or any of that rubbish, but I happened to be passing and I have to agree that it is rather depressing.

    jackdaltonon 26 July 2005 at 19:43

    You should have decked her… she doesn’t deserve to get away with that level of sloppy thinking.

    StarCorneron 26 July 2005 at 20:58

    But if she’s not a feminist doesn’t that mean she would believe in a more patriarchial (sp?) society and therefore deserves to get patronised by men – silly cow!!! (sorry about language but people like that annoy the hell out of me too!)

    belgianwaffleon 27 July 2005 at 10:29

    Good point JZ. Norah, beautifully put. JD, is this the academic in you coming out by any chance? StarCorner, you restore my faith in human nature!

    jackdaltonon 27 July 2005 at 21:40


    Oh the pain

    25 July, 2005 at 11:11 am by belgianwaffle

    I broke a tooth eating a frozen Mars bar.  Do you really want to know?

    Anyway, due to amazing Scandinavian dental technology, my tooth is slightly better than new. But the bill came to, oh dear, 285 euros only a small portion of which I fear will be refunded by our insurance. Oh the pain.


    on 25 July 2005 at 12:48

    Back away from the freezer and lie down dear.


    on 26 July 2005 at 14:51

    No, bobble, frozen Mars bars are delicious, truly (Norah, back me up here, please). But expensive.


    on 27 July 2005 at 15:46

    Christ – sorry about that. But who goes biting into Mars Bar Bricks? At least a bit of thawing was surely in order?


    on 28 July 2005 at 11:09

    But they’re nice frozen. Though expensive.

    Klaus Jensen

    on 28 November 2005 at 16:54

    “Gold Palle” is the nickname of this dentist, because he(Palle Hansen)is the most expensive dentist in Bruxelles.

    Klaus Jensen

    on 28 November 2005 at 16:54

    “Gold Palle” is the nickname of this dentist, because he(Palle Hansen)is the most expensive dentist in Bruxelles.  belgianwaffle

    on 29 November 2005 at 15:46

    Mr. Jensen, thank you, this is a superb piece of information…


    24 July, 2005 at 5:02 pm by belgianwaffle

    We went to a garden party in the suburbs yesterday. It was all very civilised. And leafy. Our host was a man I knew when I was in Bosnia for a couple of months in 1996 and ran into again in a Brussels café last year. Small world and all that.

    I was chatting to this woman and I asked her how she knew our host and she said that she had a blog. Ran into some blogging etiquette difficulty as I waxed enthusiastic about her very well-known blog in a polite way but haven’’t really read it; so was frantically trying to remember whether she might have children etc. while wittily telling stories about the pleasures of being pregnant with twins.

    I suppose it was inevitable that she should be the mother of twins. It turned out that a lot of people there were bloggers who knew each other, including our host. It was all very weird but the weirdest bit was when I was chatting to this Irish girl whose blog I cannot now find and she said to me “You’’re
    belgianwaffle are you? I nearly keeled over from shock. “What� How did you know?” “Well, you’’re pregnant with twins.”

    And while I’’m doing geeky, everytime I try to link to the sarcastic journalist, I get a message saying “You’ve been very, very naughty! You are the weakest link. Goodbye. What the hell is that about? If you are at all in the mood to be kind, you
    might see if the link works for you and, if it does pass me on her email address so that I can see whether I have been blocked by accident or what. Oh come on, you know I haven’’t been leaving nasty comments.

    And finally, please admire the Princess’’s new hair style.


    on 24 July 2005 at 17:16

    Not sure if it helps, but I followed the link you gave and got the same thing. Even googling and following the link came up with the same message. So I don’t think it’s you, I think it’s a problem with that site. (Google still has it cached though)


    on 24 July 2005 at 17:29

    I got the link okay so I’m obviously an A lister.



    on 24 July 2005 at 19:29

    Small world, isn’t it!!!!!



    on 24 July 2005 at 20:14

    It was lovely meeting you yesterday and you have the gift of the gob, my dear! I couldn’t even ask you a question 😉 There again, you may realise that in reality (although you don’t read my blog) I am, in fact, terribly shy. I had some tips for you that I was thinking about last night if ever you wanted some, re: twins, so do email me if you feel the need 🙂 I hope we meet again before the sproglets pop out – let me know and we can organise a BBQ chez-moi.


    on 24 July 2005 at 23:01

    Hey ‘waf.. that woman whose blog you don’t read is calling you a mouth!! 😉


    on 25 July 2005 at 10:33

    HJB, not only are you an A lister, you’re a saint as well. Disgruntled, it’s no wonder we’re disgruntled, frankly.
    Nicholas, alarmingly so. Thank you for a lovely afternoon – more formal thanks to follow!
    Oh dear, it’s not that I don’t read your blog, it’s just that I subscribed with bloglines and it never updates so I gave up on it. I would love to say that I am only very, very talkative in the presence of celebrities but this is completely untrue. I could talk for Ireland (and that’s saying something). Thank you for kind offering of advice re sproglets, I will be back to you. Am on first day of mat leave and gethering myself together to torment people.
    Jack, what can I say, it’s true.

    Sarcastic Journalist


    on 25 July 2005 at 17:00

    I’m sooo sorry!!! I hope we can get this straightened out.


    on 26 July 2005 at 14:52

    All sorted, thank you kindly, SJ.


    on 26 July 2005 at 18:31

    Sorry to make you keel over with shock! Nicholas had invited a stack of bloggers so I assumed that’s how he knew you.


    on 27 July 2005 at 10:28

    But no! And you know how dangerous it is to make someone in my condition keel over…Anyhow, where is your blog? I’ve tried Habseeligkeit in livejournal but it sneers at me.



    on 08 August 2005 at 20:14

    Sorry, have been internet cold turkey for a while and haven’t been blogging. Most of the journal is locked – you can sign up to livejournal without bothering to post anything and I’ll “friend” you to read posts.


    on 08 August 2005 at 21:54

    It’s ok, I found you, Nicholas gave you away! Will sign up to live journal when feeling strong and let you know…

    Nee Naw

    23 July, 2005 at 8:58 pm by belgianwaffle

    On Friday, my poor mother-in-law fell and broke her hip while out walking in the Wicklow hills and had to be airlifted to hospital where, mercifully (and slightly incredibly), she seems to be her usual perky self and she tells us that she is scheduled to start walking about tomorrow. Can this be right? We’re all most relieved but a trifle unnerved all the same. The Princess is torn between worry about her Grandma (sore leg, poor Grandma) and excitement that her Grandma has had a ride in a helicopter.

    belgianwaffleon 25 July 2005 at 10:28

    She does seem to be extremely well all things considered. I guess trekking about the mountains has made her tough. Still, all a bit grim.

    Gender Equality

    21 July, 2005 at 8:13 pm by belgianwaffle

    From a national organ of record

    When it comes to fellow citizens, Ireland falls into the conservative category. A massive 81% of people think it’s more important a boy is university educated than a girl. But the Irish also feel that women have an equal right to a job” The Examiner, 20 July 2005.
    Well, that’s all right then. Those women probably don’t need jobs either, sure all they do is go off and have babies. Speaking of which, my maternity leave starts tomorrow.

    And a happy Belgian national day to you.

    StarCorneron 21 July 2005 at 20:30Happy Belgian national Day to you too!! Maybe the Irish think women just want inferior jobs – a wee bit like the golf club I heard about, they don’t let women in until after 3.30 at the weekends cos they should be busy doing the washing and housework till then!! *Tsk!*
    Bobbleon 21 July 2005 at 22:02Happy Belgiumness to you dearie x
    jackdaltonon 21 July 2005 at 23:42That’s just a load of old bollox — the Examiner’s idea of a survey is to ring a few grannies in East Cork. Don’t take it personally ‘waf. You can hold onto that old UCC parchment for another while. mind you, when McDowell is TeaShock, then you may have to return same…. but that’s a day or two away yet.
    suson 22 July 2005 at 11:30Hope your first day of maternity leave is going swimmingly.
    belgianwaffleon 23 July 2005 at 12:51Olivia, no, no, no, it means loads of blogging! Ah, Starcorner, you’re so right. I should have thourght.
    Thanks Bob.
    JD, I am torn between a desire to agree with you and a desire to defend the Examiner’s honour, very trying.
    Well, today is technically my first day and very pleasant it is too. Thank you very much.


    18 July, 2005 at 7:50 pm by belgianwaffle

    I used to be the extravagant sibling but I think my sister in America has just taken over.  She won an all expenses paid trip to the Indianapolis Grand Prix thingy involving meeting the teams and first class accommodation. It was a very expensive prize; let me put it this way, in the US they have to pay tax on prizes and the tax on this prize was $ 5,000. Her interest in racing prior to this was nil. The Grand Prix was not as exciting as it might have been either as they had some problem I don’t fully understand with tires and a lot of the cars had to withdraw. Nevertheless, she is keen to go back.

    We had the following conversation the other day:

    Her: Our loving brother didn’t understand this at all but I am sure you will.
    Me: Try me.
    Her: I was thinking that once every couple of years it would be good to pay $4,000 to go to the paddocks when you go to the Grand Prix.
    Me: WHAT?
    Her: I was sure you’d understand. You get as much food and drink as you want and it’s only 2,300 euros.
    Me: WHAT?
    Her: Well not every year.
    Her: You’re not as extravagant as you once were.
    Me: Splutter. Can I blog this?
    Her: Hmm.

    And at the time, I thought that “the Paddocks” was some fabulous hotel linked to the race course but as far as I can work out from a quick look on google, it seems to be an enclosure for cars. With food and drink. Oh yummy. Good Lord.

    It should be noted that at the moment she spends most of her money on buying and posting presents to the Princess, so I may have ulterior motives in not wanting her to spend her money in the Paddocks.

    sister in America

    on 18 July 2005 at 21:24

    A key difference betwen siblings – Belgianwaffle is spends to have the best everything. I, on the other hand will be quite sane and sensible and save up money to do crazy things.
    I will add, if you haven’t been to the Paddock club, you cannot have the full picture. I liken it to a cruise – its not for every holiday but the odd one here and there is nice.


    on 18 July 2005 at 23:27

    Hello Sister in America. That would indeed seem to be a basic – perhaps even bi-polar – difference in world view. But while I can understand (really – truly & deeply) your tendency towards what a more flat-shod* sister might see as the profligate, I can equally understand her predilection towards the maturity of searching out the substantive and material. BelgianWaffle is one of those people who builds dreams. You (on the evidence of previous postings to this blog) are someone who chases them. There is no reason why you can’t each be true to your own style and capacities. And anyway, she’s probably a bit jealous.

    Friar Tuck

    on 20 July 2005 at 04:21

    I can understand the appeal of the Paddocks. I just cannot understand the appeal of paying for it. Now if Sister in America were to go, say, every six or eight years and pay my entrance as well, yes that would be very appealing.


    on 21 July 2005 at 19:53

    SF, ok, if you say so…
    Sister, I do NOT. I am very restrained.
    JD, see previous, and yes, probably a bit jealous.
    FT, welcome back. Have you been sitting around thinking dark thoughts about the new pope?

    Friar Tuck

    on 22 July 2005 at 03:44

    RE: dark thoughts, I suspect it is the other way around.


    on 23 July 2005 at 12:46

    Gosh, FT, he is all powerful. Trust all is well with you all the same.

    How much about a country can you tell from its songs for children?

    17 July, 2005 at 2:32 pm by belgianwaffle

    An early favourite was “Il était un petit navire”.

    In verse one we are introduced to this little boat which has never been on a sea voyage.  So far so good. Verse two sees the little boat making a long trip on the mediterranean. All positive. Around verse three things start to get less good. After five or six weeks the food starts to run out. Verse four is ominous, the crew draw straws to decide who should be eaten. Then in verse five we learn that the young cabin boy (since you ask mousse is the French for cabin boy) has drawn the short straw. But it is in verse six that we come to the essence of la belle France, there is a long dispute as to which sauce the cabin boy should be served with and I note that in the version I have linked to there is also a discussion as
    to how he should be cooked (fried, perhaps?) which is lacking from our CD. Concerned readers will be relieved to hear that the virgin Mary comes to the rescue in verses seven/eight by piling the ship up with fish which leap on board.


    on 17 July 2005 at 23:34

    Good grief.
    It’s like the wreck of the Medusa. And this is a nursery rhyme?
    The French really toughen their kids up early.
    Maybe that’s the answer. Hm. I’ll try and put Silence of the Lambs to rhyme, so I can teach it to my kids when I have them…..


    on 18 July 2005 at 10:46

    there is a french nursery rhyme, about plucking a birds head isnt there


    on 18 July 2005 at 11:24

    I am resisting the temptation to make absolutely filthy puns ……


    on 18 July 2005 at 11:34

    Resistance is futile… pun away or be assimilated into the 20sixcollective


    on 18 July 2005 at 12:32

    Just consider the topic of ‘eating young seamen’ and fill in the blanks yourself ……


    on 18 July 2005 at 19:13

    Gold star Amy, alouette (sp?) features bird plucking. It’s a strange country.
    Pog, Jack, go stand on the naughty step.


    on 19 July 2005 at 15:30

    Oh farque …..


    on 21 July 2005 at 00:28

    NO!!! I won’t, I won’t I won’t! And you can’t make me 😛
    [stamps foot: considers lying down with a (clean) nappy over head and having a good, old-fashioned, cathartic bawl]


    on 21 July 2005 at 19:57

    Pog, indeed. JD, that sounds hideously familiar.


    16 July, 2005 at 7:07 pm by belgianwaffle

    Princess: Porridge!
    Mr. Waffle: Tu veux du porridge?
    Princess (sobs): NON! Cornflakes.
    Me: Would you like some cornflakes?
    Princess (hysterically): NO!
    Me: OK, no cornflakes.
    Princess: Yes cornflakes. In a mug.

    In the supermarket, she demands a bottle. Mr. Waffle goes to the car to fetch it. She sobs “NO, bottle with a straw”.  We
    haven’t got a bottle with a straw. “With a straw (rising volume), WITH A STRAW, WITH A STRAW”. Hysteria. Off to the supermarket checkout.  Mr. Waffle is packing, I am unloading the trolley. She is sitting in the trolley weeping at the unfairness of life. I pick her out to try to stop her.  A woman on crutches has to help me unload the trolley while I try to placate Ms. Cranky.

    Back home, Mr. Waffle brings the shopping upstairs.  The Princess clutches a swim nappy which she has rescued from the pile of shopping.

    Princess: Put it on, Mummy.
    Me: Sweetie, you’re already wearing a nappy.
    Princess (insistently sobbing): Put it on, Mummy.
    Me: No, darling, you’re already wearing a nappy.
    Princess throws herself full length on the floor and weeps on to the offending swim nappy.
    Looks up with red eyes and says: Get in the lift, Mummy.
    Me: No, sweetie, I don’t want to leave you here on your own, you might hurt yourself or somebody might come in and you might be scared.
    Princess (still prone) sobs her heart out and yells: Get in the lift, Mummy.
    Me: No, sweetie, we’ll go up together when you’re ready.
    Princess remains sobbing into nappy while I sit on the stairs wondering whether I have the strength and energy to pick her up and carry her into the lift.
    Princess sits up and goes to the lift door: OK, Mummy, I ready.

    In the afternoon we went to the Glam Potter’s where L and her new baby sister were impeccably behaved. Poor old Mr. Waffle spent the afternoon trying to meet the insistent and varied needs of our girl (“fais pipi Papa” or “c’est à moi”, while wrenching something from L) while I sat and moaned to the  GP.

    Home to cranky dinner (pas de SAUCISSE), cranky bath (I wan get OUT) and early bed. We’re shadows of our former selves. Mr. Waffle has gone for a nap to recover.


    on 17 July 2005 at 10:50

    I like the idea of cornflakes in a mug. I also like the idea of being able to lie prone in the lobby of our apartment sobbing into nappies, or anything – such a shame that I’m too old for either. I think you do brilliantly to be able to do it all and then blog in such a witty way about it. 1


    on 17 July 2005 at 14:14

    Yeah, Jack, I suppose you’re right. Mercifully she slept 13 hours last night and is all sweetness and light today.
    Heather, you are very kind. Thank you for your sweetie. You realise that I now have a mental picture of you lying in the lobby of your building sobbing into a nappy while nervous Swiss people give you a wide berth.


    on 17 July 2005 at 14:36

    It all balances out in the end… see. And I for one think you are winning 🙂


    on 17 July 2005 at 23:40

    A good night’s sleep exceptionally well deserved.
    Try the nappy and laying on the ground screaming at people thing sometime. It’s a great stress reliever, a detox of the woe in your soul. No, really.
    Think about how relaxed the Swiss all look. See?


    on 18 July 2005 at 07:44

    I feel exhausted for you.


    on 18 July 2005 at 11:22

    Drama queen princess ..


    on 18 July 2005 at 11:59

    Oh bless her. My nephew once chanted ‘Purple Cup, Purple LID’ for about four hours because the one he had was the wrong colour. You’ve got to admire their persistance.


    on 18 July 2005 at 19:15

    Thanks Jack, I hope you’re right. Well, Mike, they do kind of look relaxed don’t they? Thanks Minks, I fear it all lies ahead of you….
    Pog, yes.
    Kate, excellent. And slightly terrifying.

    Linguistic prowess

    16 July, 2005 at 7:34 am by belgianwaffle

    In the past two to three weeks, the Princess has begun to speak English. This welcome development was reinforced by a week spent in sunny Dublin.  Before this she spoke mainly in French with the odd word of English. Now, suddenly she is speaking in English sentences. I can tell you, I’’m relieved. And smug almost beyond measure.  Clearly, I have my comeuppance coming.


    on 17 July 2005 at 21:13

    Or be mhaith leom uaichte roite (which I have no idea how to spell, having been born, bless my parents, far away from the 26 counties),which is particularly useful during a heatwave…


    on 18 July 2005 at 12:37

    I’ll have one if you’re buying sus!


    on 18 July 2005 at 17:51

    *hugs Haagen-Daaz to chest and eyes Locotes suspiciously*


    on 18 July 2005 at 19:07

    Well, Locotes we are doing some good work on “la a caith me cois faraige”. Sus, do I see ice cream all round, how nice…


    on 19 July 2005 at 20:05

    *comes back toting tubs of Haagen-Daaz for all*
    Hope you?ve got spoons enough to go around BW!


    on 20 July 2005 at 15:19

    waffle: Not bad at all – if you can keep bringing her when the weather is glorious the happy memories are bound to make it stick in her head.sus: So can I share now? No more suspicious looks??


    on 20 July 2005 at 19:16
    Comment Modified) Well, Locotes, once I saw that under that Squirrel suit you had a Superman suit, all suspicions were banished.


    on 21 July 2005 at 17:20

    That suit’s always been handy to have…


    on 21 July 2005 at 17:27

    And under that suit there a…? 😉


    on 21 July 2005 at 19:56

    Sus, who knows? Thanks again for the ice cream though.
    Loc, not so sure on the Gaeilge.

    Malingering and packing

    5 July, 2005 at 8:52 pm by belgianwaffle

    This morning my baby was in poor form. She had a cough. She pointed pitifully at the bathroom and said “malade”.  She wouldn’t eat her breakfast. She lay feebly in my lap muttering “sucky thumb”.  Alas, today was a busy day for the parent Waffles as it was our last day at work before heading off to Dublin. What to do?  We were saved by our cleaning lady who also babysits for us who arrived to clean and then agreed to childmind. Mercifully she was free for the afternoon as well. The Princess was delighted.  So delighted, in fact, that she hopped off my lap, where she had been reclining dolefully and into the arms of our babysitter.  I explained that I had to go to work.  She was blithely indifferent and waved me off with a “bye-bye Mummy, nice day” while hurrying to show our babysitter her latest acquisition – a book on a flying bunny.  When I got home she was jumping up and down on the spare bed. Well, at least she isn’t sick, I suppose.

    I am blogging and I should be packing.  Packing for a Summer holiday in Ireland is such a challenge.  The weather forecast is rotten but
    you never know, it might just, surprisingly, be fine.  Have packed shorts and woolly jumpers but feel that I will need more than this to
    survive. Just said to Mr. Waffle “Do you think I need a coat?”  He replied, with feeling “You are visiting Ireland in July.  Are you mad?  Of course, you need a coat.” Maybe I’ve been away too long.


    on 06 July 2005 at 10:35

    Coat, bikini, fleece, brolly – and don’t forget the sherpas.


    on 06 July 2005 at 17:37

    Just to confirm, weather’s been pathetic over the last week or so. Welcome home!!


    on 06 July 2005 at 19:50

    This coming week will be better. I’ll organise that.
    And anyway, it never rains in The Stephens Green Centre or Liffey Valley, or Dundrom, or the ILAC…. 🙂


    on 11 July 2005 at 12:15

    Well, I heard they had a heatwave yesterday…better bring the bikini too.


    on 14 July 2005 at 20:45

    Bobble, it was hot. Yes, Pog, reallly it was. Locotes, unbelievable eh? JD, warm, warm, warm. Sus,your source was correct. According to the national organ of record (the evening herald) Kilkenny was hotter than Rome, Madrid or Athens on Monday. Extraordinary.


    on 15 July 2005 at 10:04

    Kilkenny? I’ve been there, you know. Lovely castle. And I didn’t misbehave with a blue-eyed Celt at all. Not me, guv, no guv.


    on 15 July 2005 at 17:03

    Everyone’s been to Kilkenny at some point. Either physically or mataphysically.


    on 16 July 2005 at 07:26

    Pog, how intriguing. Was it very warm? Right as always, JD.


    on 18 July 2005 at 10:57

    Well …erm …. oh – you mean the weather? It wasn’t bad at all Waffley – and it was only March.
    The Celt was very warm. Very warm indeed. Ahem.


    on 18 July 2005 at 19:16

    Pog, you lead such an exciting life…


    on 20 July 2005 at 10:29

    Yes … well …. just occasionally.

    Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

    3 July, 2005 at 7:25 pm by belgianwaffle

    As Mr. Waffle points out, it makes her look sane and as though it might be a good idea to ring her, if you saw a falling pot plant. Cunning eh?


    on 03 July 2005 at 20:40

    This must be some new Belgian reality TV show; and she is the evil host.

    London mom

    on 04 July 2005 at 19:02

    All I can think of on seeing that note is the tune from the shower scene in Psycho…..Mrs W be careful out there.

    on 04 July 2005 at 21:30

    Jack, Bobble, LM, am packing now. Thanks for your concern.


    on 04 July 2005 at 23:51

    Leave only under cover of darkness. Wear a hooded garment. Smuggle princess out in a large Miss Prism type handbag. Use a Burbury or Louis Vuitton or something equally in bad taste; in fact one of your usual ones should be ok.


    on 05 July 2005 at 20:37

    Excuse me, Mr. Dalton? I am a bag queen. Humph.

    Les Belges

    1 July, 2005 at 9:34 pm by belgianwaffle

    We went to the horse parade last weekend. The Princess was crabby but the horses were fun. Thierry has posted some excellent pictures. If you want to know even more about this Belgian extravaganza, you can have a look at the homepage.

    I have found a website that suggests Belgium is a conspiracy. Who knows, maybe it’s true.

    The following, from the Economist, made me laugh. I should try to get out more.

    “Among the many consequences of the European Union’s current troubles, the fraying Benelux axis seems to have generated little chatter. For years Belgium, Netherlands and Luxembourg have sought to operate as an informal alliance within the EU. The three smallish nations, sandwiched between France and Germany, have often shared interests; they have always met before EU summits to co-ordinate their position. The hope was for Benelux to be as big a player as the French, Germans or British are individually.

    But it is increasingly clear that the three countries have different agendas. The Belgians (and Luxembourgers) are still passionate European federalists, drawn to the Franco-German position on everything from the Iraq war to the future of the EU. The Dutch, by contrast, are increasingly drawn to the Atlanticism, free-market policies and anti-federalism traditionally associated with Britain. They underlined their new-found Euroscepticism when they voted overwhelmingly to reject the proposed new EU constitution. This vote provoked a row with their Belgian neighbours. Karel De Gucht, the Belgian foreign minister, blamed the vote on the Dutch prime minister, Jan Peter Balkenende, whom he called “a cross between Harry Potter and a rigid little bourgeois.” The enraged Dutch recalled their ambassador from Brussels, prompting Mr De Gucht to make a hasty, if unconvincing, apology.”

    And note that someone is always trying to upstage you, you decide to have twins and then Claire and Laurent do too. On the plus side, I see from the cascade of Pampers vouchers in my mailbox that the hospital has received my room booking form for September. Doubtless official confirmation will follow.

    And today’s final random thing. I have a friend who is half Belgian. She was talking about paying taxes. She cited the example of a friend who is a dentist and pays all his taxes. The Belgian revenue always slap him with a big fine on the basis that he can’t possibly have declared everything. “But” says my friend “he has and I’d believe him too because he’s a really odd person”.


    on 02 July 2005 at 08:45

    OH, very good..


    on 02 July 2005 at 09:33

    Well I did always suspect that you and the Mr were ‘brainwashed using psychotronic mind control, psychotropically enhanced beer, and neurolinguistic programming into believing that they are Belgians’ – but it’s great to have confirmation.


    on 02 July 2005 at 15:48

    He’s good that Jack.
    About time I moved to Amsterdam – sounds as if the country is getting interesting.


    on 02 July 2005 at 15:51

    Bobs, I thank you for the only words of affirmation I’m likely to get around here…. 😉


    on 02 July 2005 at 16:12

    No worries Jack.
    Erm, reading the wonderful news source that is “Hello” are there no European royalty who aren’t pregnant or just given birth?
    Is it some competition? or new form of Lotto?


    on 03 July 2005 at 19:20

    Locotes – and you were right.
    Bobble, I know. JD, note words of affirmation.
    Bobble, I know, they’re all at it, lucky old Hello.

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