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Archive for October, 2005

27 October, 2005 at 11:30 am by belgianwaffle

I was driving along sedately when a little
voice from the back seat piped up “Slow down Mummy”. “I’m not going fast” I said indignantly. “I’m scared” she said reproachfully. This is
what your offspring will be like if you are bossy and your spouse is cautious.

Speaking of bossy, I was singing a French
schlocky song to myself “Je viens de chanter la chanson, la chanson des gens
heureux” when Madam interrupted me “Not “la chanson” Mummy, “la ballade””. How did I end up living with two people who
are always right?

Final example of imperial bossiness: chatting to my husband at dinner last night, we
were interrupted by our daughter banging her fork on the table and saying in
loud and petulant tones “talk to ME!”.

Comments

Minkleberry

on 27 October 2005 at 14:41

she sounds like me 0
Sweetie(s) given

Bobble

on 02 November 2005 at 12:45

I thought I was a child genius. Now I know I was just bossy. Gah. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 03 November 2005 at 11:27

Mike, that sounds hard… but very worthwhile.
Minks, Bobblem what delightful children you must have been… 0
Sweetie(s) given

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27 October, 2005 at 11:28 am by belgianwaffle

You may be familiar with the Alessi range of products: attractive, expensive
and deeply impractical. I am the proud
owner of Floss Man or “interdental thread holder in light
blue” as he is known on the Alessi website (maybe not the best translation from
the Italian). For Floss Man to work you
need to thread the floss through his mouth.
It’s easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle, I assure you. Yesterday I, mother of a toddler and infant
twins spent 10 minutes threading Floss Man. There are times when I wonder whether I am
insane.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 27 October 2005 at 16:04

Are you asking us to help you answer that question?

belgianwaffle

on 03 November 2005 at 11:32

JD, surely some mistake..
FT, probably better not. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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26 October, 2005 at 11:14 am by belgianwaffle

The other night, Mr. Waffle and I were sitting
in (as opposed to the evenings we are out tripping the light fantastic) and it
was bucketing rain ouside.

Me: Is there anything nicer than sitting inside
warm, dry and comfy when it’s cold and wet outside?

Him (pause): Well, the entire tourism and
leisure industries are predicated on the belief that, in fact, there is.

Comments

groupie

on 26 October 2005 at 12:40

And what about camping? The best bit about being in a tent is when you can hear the rain on the canvas outside, and you get to snuggle down inside your sleeping bag and drink whiskey – surely? 0
Sweetie(s) given

beachhutman

on 26 October 2005 at 19:31

Sound man, Mr W. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 27 October 2005 at 11:24

Um, maybe Mike. Groupie, this was never a feature of camping holidays with my parents; I mean the whiskey. BHM, eh? 0
Sweetie(s) given

beachhutman

on 28 October 2005 at 23:51

Very sound. Logical. Very sound and logical. And intelligent. Sound, very, and logical and intelligent.
Where did you find him ? 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 03 November 2005 at 11:27

in front of a fridge guarding beer. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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26 October, 2005 at 11:13 am by belgianwaffle

In hospital, people were constantly sticking
needles into me. One nurse said
“Vous avez des veines comme un bûcheron”. I asked Mr. Waffle why they would say that I had veins like a cork (comme
un bouchon). He looked surprised then
asked “could it have been “comme un bûcheron?’” Ah yes, that was it, what does that
mean? “Like a woodcutter”. Fantastic, kick the patient when she’s down.

Comments

kristin

(Homepage)

on 26 October 2005 at 14:42

ah, and can’t one always count on the husband to find exactly the right thing to say. a delicate piece of something in close contact with the Very Best Wines? no, no, no, Paul Bunyan.
*sigh*

belgianwaffle

on 27 October 2005 at 11:21

I dunno Mike but I wish I did.
Kristin, indeed.. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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25 October, 2005 at 2:08 pm by belgianwaffle

July – France
August – Brussels
September – Brussels
November – Chicago

I rang home yesterday and she was out so I had, quite possibly, my
longest phone conversation ever with my father (5 minutes and 12
seconds). Normally I say “Hello Daddy, it’s me” and he says “I’ll
get your mother”. Anyhow, he said “she’s off getting our tickets
for France”. What? “Yes, we’re off to France on Wednesday,
we need to stock up on wine”. Good grief, it’s non-stop
travel for the loving parents.

And in other news, the twins are exactly four weeks old as I write and
I am still alive. Though tired. Very tired. And also
getting very good at typing with one hand.

Comments

JoJo

on 25 October 2005 at 14:22

I can’t believe you are doing so much blogging. Are you sure those lovely boys are real??? 0
Sweetie(s) given

Renee

on 25 October 2005 at 15:17

My phone conversations with my father are eerily similar to yours. 🙂

Minkleberry

on 25 October 2005 at 15:38

4 weeks old- and still alive. You are my inspiration. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 25 October 2005 at 16:53

So is that two weeks each or four for both. If you know what I mean…. 😉 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 25 October 2005 at 20:07

Don’t you hate the way parents squander your inheritance?

belgianwaffle

on 26 October 2005 at 11:08

Thanks Norah. Oh yeah, they’re real alright Jojo, but they mostly come out at night.
Renee, fathers, they have a lot in common.
I know Minks, amazing, thank you.
That would be 4 each smarty pants.
FT, YES. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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25 October, 2005 at 1:20 pm by belgianwaffle

My mother tells me that tax defaulters have
been published in the paper. It’s extraordinary. My parents’ next door neighbours have been
done for €40,000 (that’s tax they haven’t paid, imagine the income). Friends of my parents got done for €30,000 (my
mother believes this is all a horrible mistake). And some very rich, though distant, relatives
of ours got done for an absolute fortune (no, really, a fortune).

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 26 October 2005 at 11:09

Yes, FT, those are precisely my thoughts. In fact, I still regret it because my parents are busy spending my inheritance and I bet the rels still have loads of cash. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 26 October 2005 at 16:00

Is it too late to be adopted?

Friar Tuck

on 26 October 2005 at 16:01

Is it too late to be adopted?

belgianwaffle

on 27 October 2005 at 11:22

Probably. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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25 October, 2005 at 1:15 pm by belgianwaffle

A good friend of mine is a solicitor practising
in the midlands. I got an email from her
recently containing the following moan “All well here except no
secretary all week and punters with cocaine
problems – I mean cocaine in Kinnegad what is the world coming to?” You can only agree. On discussing matters with her, she tells me
that she was quizzing the Gardai and they say that cocaine is everywhere in the
medium sized town where she works “taken by people like yourself miss”. “Not me” she said in indignation. “No, of course not you, miss”. She also got to hear about the local
brothel. Good Lord.

Comments

jackdalton

on 25 October 2005 at 16:57

He’s just pulling her leg. My own Garda sources tell me it’s not in The Gad at all: much closer to Edenderry…. 😉 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 26 October 2005 at 11:10

Pog, one assumes not. JD, you betray terrifying intimacy with Kinnegad. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 26 October 2005 at 19:41

I once had reason to travel through those and adjacent townlands on a fairly regular basis… and a more forlorn back-end of nowhere, you couldn’t hope to find. With all due respect to your pal who’s stuck in what was then known as Connellan country… 😉 0
Sweetie(s) given

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24 October, 2005 at 12:35 pm by belgianwaffle

The Princess is now able to ride on the back of
Mr. Waffle’s bike due to extraordinary outlay on seat and helmet. Her imperial highness is pleased to approve
this mode of transport.

Comments

JoJo

on 24 October 2005 at 13:25

She’s so pleased with herself! 1
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 25 October 2005 at 11:50

Thanks Jojo. Loc, fair comment.. 0
Sweetie(s) given

ladyjane

on 25 October 2005 at 19:29

And the BEST thing about the bike and the seat and the helmet, is that she can zoom around Brussels and her baby brothers haven’t a hope of ever catching up with her. Her position above that back wheel is entirely her own.

belgianwaffle

on 26 October 2005 at 11:09

I think I should tell her that. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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A Visit

24 October, 2005 at 11:40 am by belgianwaffle

The in-laws are coming on Thursday. Great excitement. I received an email from my father-in-law as follows, comments are in italics:

Hello there

Reading between the pixels, things may be more than a little hectic, even with help. It may be a Freudian slip, but the lack of a mention of Princess might mean that she is becoming more attuned to the new arrivals (or just spending time at the crèche). Au contraire, madam continues to regard the new arrivals with
disdain. Yesterday I spoke to my brother and he asked after her and her views on the new arrivals. I said that she liked them. Later when I reported this conversation to herself she said in tones of great disgust “But Mummy, I DON’T like the babies.

Anyway, for what it is worth, grandma and I are getting measured for our cavalry uniforms, practicing the bugle, buying prezzies and the like. We will be ready for our gallop to the relief of the Fort, way out in the Belgian desert. Really looking forward to the visit, to do good works and drink a few beers. Beer, beer?
He thinks there will be beer? I doubt it, it will be constant baby and toddler minding duty for the royal
grandparents here at baby bootcamp.

Comments

Locotes
on 24 October 2005 at 12:58
Surely even a little beer during babysitting duty can be allowed? Have a heart…

Minkleberry
on 24 October 2005 at 20:48
make sure you sit down a lot!
belgianwaffle
on 25 October 2005 at 11:52
HJB, their sufferings are about to begin. Loc, under no circumstances, they are here to work. No beer on the chain gang. Minks, most certainly.

poggle
on 25 October 2005 at 13:20
Go girl – head for tham thar hills!

24 October, 2005 at 11:37 am by belgianwaffle

Constant listening to Radio 4 reveals that the
British are considering introducing 3 months paid paternity leave. Meanwhile, poor
Beth jacks in her job due to
pathetic maternity leave in the US. I think it’s all the puritans out there. They should let more feckless catholics in. Further example of American puritanism: my
sister tells me “it’s back to winter hours [at work]… we get to start 30
minutes later every day so I’m in at 8.30 rather than 8 – except for days when
I’m late or have a 7.00 meeting”. What
kind of country allows companies to schedules 7 am meetings? One that’s over imbibed
the puritan work ethic.

Comments

Beth

(Homepage)

on 25 October 2005 at 02:10

I like that I “jacked in” my job – sounds like so much more fun than just quitting. The really sad part is that I was lucky to be able to get the maximum leave, 12 weeks, and was also lucky to get it at full pay, but only by using the paid leave I had accrued over nearly 7 years at the company.

belgianwaffle

on 25 October 2005 at 11:49

Beth, that’s just depressing. FT, not an immediate issue for you, we assume. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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22 October, 2005 at 2:32 pm by belgianwaffle

A friend of ours called round last Saturday and he
had had possibly the most embarassing experience ever that morning. He had gone for a swim and was walking round
the pool contemplating where to immerse himself when one of the lifeguards came
up to him and said “I’m sorry sir, I’m going to have to ask you to buy a new
swimsuit as that one is totally transparent at the back”.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 22 October 2005 at 16:48

Rather cheeky of him!

Mikeachim

on 23 October 2005 at 04:33

Oh sweet lordy lord.
*cringes*
Hopefully nobody made any cracks.
…..
OK OK, I’m leaving. 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 23 October 2005 at 05:33

Perhaps he should have gone swimming in Moon River, instead.
what’s so pathetic is that it took me all day to think that up.

belgianwaffle

on 24 October 2005 at 09:59

You should all get out more! 0
Sweetie(s) given

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22 October, 2005 at 2:28 pm by belgianwaffle

I think I may have given my husband food
poisoning. I gave him frozen cannelloni on Thursday night. The Princess and I abstained
because it wasn’t very nice (well, that’s why I didn’t have any, she’s refusing
to eat on principle, that’ll show us for producing two babies) so he ate all of
ours as well. He spent Thursday night
throwing up and all day Friday asleep a shadow of his former self. You will be glad to hear that he now appears to be restored. Although I do feel bad that he was sick, I can’t help
being relieved that the Princess and I restrained ourselves.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 22 October 2005 at 16:47

As a trained psychologist (okay, I took Psych 101 at Slippery Rock State College), it is easy for me to see what is going on here. The women, once numerically dominant in the household, are now threatened by the recent gains of the other gender. Hence you feel the need to remove the dominant male in order to regain dominance. It is a story as old as our species (6000 years, as all American science textbooks will soon be telling us).

belgianwaffle

on 24 October 2005 at 10:00

JD, it was an accident…
FT, 6000 years eh. Thank you Mr. Bush. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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21 October, 2005 at 10:09 am by belgianwaffle

Longstanding readers (hi Mum) will recall that
I had considerable difficulty breastfeeding the Princess. To be honest, I didn’t rate my chances of
breastfeeding twins. I decided that I
wouldn’t feel guilty about it. But I
do. The other night I dreamt (in the 20
seconds of sleep granted to me) that my babies were taken away from me because
I wasn’t breastfeeding them. Funnily
enough, not by the militant breastfeeding lobby but by a woman who I know bottle
fed her baby. Call Dr. Freud. My guilt is in no way assuaged by reading in
the Observer that Tilda Swinton (actress and next door neighbour to the Glam
Potter’s extraordinarily rich and, er, glam sister) breastfed her twins for 14
months. Maybe I should stop reading the
Observer, it only makes me miserable.

Before the boys were born, people asked me
whether I planned to breastfeed (right after they’d checked whether the twins
were IVF babies) and I used to joke “I’ll breastfeed one and feed the other
formula and see how they turn out”. I
didn’t actually expect this to happen.
But it has. Daniel eats like
nobody’s business; breast, bottle, probably fish and chips, if offered. Michael is still trying to determine how
bottles actually work (despite this, on our recent visit to the paediatrician,
Michael had put on more weight than Daniel; he’s presumably raiding the fridge
when we’re not looking). So, during the
day, I breastfeed Daniel and give Michael formula. I also express a couple of bottles of breastmilk
for Michael. If you’ve never seen a
breastpump in action, you may not understand why I prefer to do this without an
audience and spend my time scurrying from room to room with an odd contraption
attached to my breast trying to avoid G or Faith on the days they are here.

At night they both get formula. God knows what they put in that stuff but
compared to breastmilk, it really knocks them out. To digress slightly, this reminds me of a story
that my mother-in-law tells. She used
to be an air hostess in the 60s and when they had a mother and crying child on
board, they would offer to heat the baby’s bottle. They would then add a tot of brandy to the
heated bottle and give it back to the unsuspecting mother whose baby would, of
course, be conked for the duration of the flight. Anyway, maybe they put brandy in the formula
– that would explain the
exorbitant cost. Formula feeding at night has led to the
problem of milk oversupply (oh come on, you know what I mean) putting me at
increased risk of mastitis – it’s not just for cows, you know – and making our
bed an even more pleasant place to be doused as it is in blood, sweat, tears,
formula, vomit, wee and now breastmilk too.
Please, don’t let me put you off having children.

But feeding two babies, however you go about
it, is a little challenging. If it’s not
one of them, it’s both of them. So
you’re either trapped under one feeding baby or panicking about how to feed both of them at once. My father describes being an anesthetist as
hours of tedium interspersed by moments of panic – it’s a bit like that. (By the by, while I’m dissing doctors, do you
like this? To be an orthopaedic surgeon
you have to be strong as an ox and twice as intelligent.)

But you know, despite all my moaning, it is
rather nice having two little babies, I mean even apart from the presents. I quite
enjoy peering adoringly at them. And, I realise
I am prejudiced here, they have very appealing little faces and a range of
entertaining expressions. And I’m quite
looking forward to venturing out when Michael hits 3 kilos and showing them to
an appreciative public. And another
thing, mirabile dictu, my bump has retreated and I no longer look 6 months
pregnant. Really, you should have kids
of your own, they’re great.

Comments

jackdalton

on 21 October 2005 at 20:25

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah. So you think you can pull that one do you!!! 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 22 October 2005 at 04:30

Honestly, all you’ve done is confuse me. Should I or should I not chuck all I’ve ever believed and stood for in order to become a breeding machine?

negrito

on 22 October 2005 at 09:23

I really wait for the day i will meet you cross the street with the three cuties eheheh ! 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 22 October 2005 at 14:27

Norah, I BET you are.
JD, haha indeed.
FT, well, it would help to pay for your pension.
Well, Negrito, since we’re almost neighbours, I do think that this is most likely. Though you, as befits your status, live in the chic end of the neighbourhood. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Lilo

on 22 October 2005 at 22:08

Sorry to turn you into an agony aunt, but I’m trying to introduce the little girl to formula in the evening – just to give me the chance to go out at some stage in the future. Do you find that mixing bottle and breast makes your two extra vomity?
I am full of admiration for you, by the way, it sounds as though you’re coping really well with the two princes. 1
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 24 October 2005 at 09:55

Lilo, ta very much for the sweetie. YES, it definitely does make them more vomity – we have a phenomenon we call the formula fountain – no prizes for guessing what that involves. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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20 October, 2005 at 2:30 pm by belgianwaffle

I like to listen to BBC Radio 4. Mr. Waffle comments that there is a part of
our kitchen that is forever England.
It was trying my loyalty pretty high recently with non-stop cricket
followed by non-stop political party conferences, but on the whole, I think
it’s nifty.

However, I was surprised by the reporting
of events in Basra at the end of September (this goes for the World Service as
well as Radio 4). Essentially, as I
understand it, British troops in Basra bulldozed an Iraqi prison to spring
two of their men. But, to hear the
reports, it’s all “bad old Iraqis nearly killed two of our brave soldiers in
custody”. At no point has it been made
clear what the lads were in custody for – I think that they were “undercover
operatives”, so maybe we are just not meant to know. Anyway the Iraqis are a bit annoyed and
demanding an apology (and possibly some prison rebuilding) and the British are
very cross and refusing to provide same.
I know the situations aren’t parallel etc. etc. but I wonder how it
would be reported on the BBC, if a foreign army bulldozed a prison in the UK to spring a couple of its men.

Comments

NorahSplog

on 20 October 2005 at 16:25

I remember being quite interested in that story. I’m a Radio 2 girl myself and they had an interview with a boffin who said that there were so many inconsistencies in the story that it all had to be a cover-up for something entirely different. For a start, the “undercover operatives” had blue eyes – Arabs tend not to have blue eyes and you’d have thought that the British Army would exercise more attention to detail when chosing their undercover operatives… And he said a whole load of other reasons why the whole thing was as fishy as Fridays in Portugal, but I don’t recall any of the other reasons now…
(Also, the moon landings were faked…) 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 21 October 2005 at 10:07

Ta bruiser. Norah, I knew it about the moon landings. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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19 October, 2005 at 12:41 pm by belgianwaffle

Mr. Waffle says that minding Daniel and Michael
is like barwork. During the day things
are quiet, ticking over, but quiet, then around six in the evening things
really start to get busy reaching a peak between 10.00 and 2.00. You then spend the morning washing bottles
which you have rescued from odd places (behind pillows, under beds etc.). Fascinating eh?
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18 October, 2005 at 12:55 pm by belgianwaffle

Comments

lauren35

on 18 October 2005 at 14:58

I must say how impressed I am with your frequent blogging – does the tapping of the keyboard send the babies to sleep? 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 18 October 2005 at 19:13

Why do babies lull you into a false sense of security? Its all back to front. Much sympathy xxx 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 19 October 2005 at 13:09

Yes, Heather, I’ve noticed that about the google ads.
Well, Lauren, I have help and I can type one handed while breastfeeding (marvel, gasp).
Minks, today much better mercifully, thanks for sympathy. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Why do I read it, if I don’t like it?

18 October, 2005 at 12:22 pm by belgianwaffle

Thank you Mr. James for giving me a whole new worry.

Comments
NorahSplogon 18 October 2005 at 15:23

I am an anti-maven (or whatever the opposite of a maven is). I couldn’t tell you the price of something I bought 2 minutes ago. Consequently I am always skint.

Friar Tuckon 18 October 2005 at 23:42

Am envious of your skrimping prowess.

belgianwaffleon 19 October 2005 at 13:07

Very funny, FFE.
Norah, FT, I’m always skint too. But I do have 18 litres of Evian in the kitchen.

17 October, 2005 at 4:46 pm by belgianwaffle

And for a bonus point, who is this in the, perhaps a little too large, bouncy chair?

Comments

LondonMom

on 17 October 2005 at 19:55

Hmmmnn….1st one is Michael, 2nd is Daniel? Reserve judgement on the bouncy chair occupant – they both sure do look like Papa Waffle though…!

NorahSplog

on 17 October 2005 at 20:03

Honestly serious question: How did you decide which twin got which name? And was there ever any danger of you mixing them up? (I don’t mean at first glance – I mean serious head scratching and trying to decide.) 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 18 October 2005 at 06:54

scrumptious! 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 18 October 2005 at 12:25

1 out of 3 Diva, my sweetie remains up for grabs..
2 out of 3 LM, and yes, they do look like their Daddy, particularly Daniel.
Norah, they look different to us – I know, they look the same to other people but we’re their parents. Herself, however, can’t tell them apart at all.
Ta Minks. 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 18 October 2005 at 14:01

Thank you for explaining. They really are quite alarmingly cute. 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 18 October 2005 at 14:03

PS – if LM is right and the 1st photo is of Michael, then the little button in the bouncy chair must also be Michael. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 19 October 2005 at 13:10

Norah, I think you are owed a sweetie. Bravo. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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17 October, 2005 at 4:37 pm by belgianwaffle

When I was in the hospital, everyone kept
asking me whether Daniel and Michael were real twins. And I would say “no, they’re fraternal”. And the person would then, always, say “no,
what I mean is was it a natural pregnancy?”. Everyone here is obsessed by IVF.

Since we have come home the dishwasher, the
washing machine, the microwave and the dryer have been going constantly. Mr.
Waffle points out that all twins in the
western world must grow up with the hum of labour saving devices in the
background. Last night, I was saying to him how handy it is that
we are getting up at 4 in the morning anyway so that we can put the
wash we put on at midnight into the tumble drier and have dry baby
clothes for the morning. He looked at me a bit oddly and then
said drily “Yes, that certainly is a silver lining”. Well, it IS.

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16 October, 2005 at 12:55 pm by belgianwaffle

There is an annual cartoon exhibition in our
local town hall. I saw the posters up
yesterday and they remind me that last year, we went to investigate with the
Princess. I asked the man at the
entrance whether the exhibition was suitable for small children. I meant was it more aimed at adults or were
there things a little girl might be interested in. They take their comics very
seriously in Belgium.
It’s an art form here and hence it was quite likely that the exhibition
might be for grown-ups rather than children.
The nice man on the desk said “Absolutely, there is no
pornography”.

Comments

jackdalton

on 16 October 2005 at 22:46

So you went anyway? 😐 0
Sweetie(s) given

Mikeachim

on 16 October 2005 at 23:45

Having read a few Belgian comics/graphic novels/whatchacallem, yes, they can be, um, a bit….unusually frank in places.
I wouldn’t go as far as to say they’re pornographic.

No, I might edit that remark a little. Here goes:
Yes, lots of them are sheer Filth. But artful Filth.
(That’s better). 0
Sweetie(s) given

beachhutman

on 17 October 2005 at 11:24

Porn is in the eye of the beholder.
(Well, maybe not the eye) 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 17 October 2005 at 16:33

We aim to please Angel.
JD, humph, no.
Mike, am very impressed by your knowledge of the 9th art.
BHM, quite. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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14 October, 2005 at 11:45 am by belgianwaffle

Before the twins were born, everyone said
“you’ll need help”. So we have purchased
help. One morning and two afternoons a
week, people come in to provide (quite expensive) help. Except with Mr. Waffle on paternity leave (2
weeks paid – is this more than Americans get for maternity leave?) and the
twins being quite good babies and both of us being obsessively tidy and herself
being off at the creche, there isn’t really a tremendous lot for these people
to do. And because we chose with care –
nice industrious people – they don’t like just sitting around. The upshot of this is that I’m there trapped
under a feeding baby and I’m inventing tasks for people to do (“Gosh, you’ve
thrown out the faded flowers and hung out the clothes AND done the ironing too,
could you um, wash the kitchen floor? Oh
you’ve already done that..). It’s a bit
like having a new and over eager trainee at work who keeps appearing at your
desk having completed in half an hour the task that you hoped would keep
him/her going for the day. Doubtless,
it will all be different when Mr. Waffle returns to the fray next week and I am home
alone with the boys tearing my hair out (to clarify, I will be tearing my hair
out, the boys have not yet developed the requisite level of hand eye
co-ordination to do this for me).

Comments

Locotes

on 14 October 2005 at 13:16

I see what you’ve done there – imploring us not to hate you before going into great detail about how the waffles do no housework anymore, using two slaves instead to cater to their every whim. Smart idea. I shall now endeavor not to think bad thoughts.

Ah well – make the most of it while you can.
😉 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 14 October 2005 at 13:21

I’ve got one child- my house is a mess and want to cry. I DO hate you xxx 1
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 14 October 2005 at 13:54

Or better still send them ’round to Locotes. He’s suffering a bit these days; what with the project and the cruelty of women. 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 15 October 2005 at 00:57

yes, 2 weeks paid paternity is more than American moms get. There is no paid maternity leave, tho you’re allowed to take 12 weeks unpaid. And you can use vacation time of course, but last i checked, pushing an 8 pound baby through the eye of a needle didn’t feel like a holiday.
excellent on the help, though. i bet it will be a lifesaver when mr. waffle goes back to the salt mines.
and a small request, could you possibly post more pics of the wee ones? so sweet, these newborns. and her highness, too, of course.

beachhutman

on 15 October 2005 at 10:33

I bet Mr W is desperate to stay at home…. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 15 October 2005 at 13:38

JD, I demand to know where your other blog is.
Loc, Minks, you are very virtuous not to hate me. Minks, a sweetie is above and beyond the call of duty. Ta.
Kristin, more pics, no problem, am touched by your interest. American maternity leave really is dreadful, deep sympathy.
BHM, on the contrary, the salt mines are looking very appealing. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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13 October, 2005 at 5:19 pm by belgianwaffle

I wonder what I will do with all of the
Princess’s little girl clothes. “Give
them away” says Mr. Waffle brutally.
“But what if we have another little girl?” “If you show even the slightest interest in
ever becoming pregnant again, I am going to have a vasectomy”. I think Mr. Waffle may feel that our family
is complete.

Comments

dmts

on 13 October 2005 at 19:29

Oh hang onto them for a bit – he may change his mind. (I have to say that you’re remarkably open to the idea of another baby so soon after giving birth to twins – go you!) 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 14 October 2005 at 10:43

Box them (with the help of Princess) and store them ‘for when she’s big and might want to look at them again’. Perhaps in the loft at an agreeable grandad’s house? 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 14 October 2005 at 11:43

BHM, yes.
Heather, it’s just the hormones, it will pass.
JD, hmm, not sure, my mother has just thrown out all my old college notes to make room for her and my father’s “wine cellar” under my bed. Not sure that they have room in their house for Madam’s clothes. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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13 October, 2005 at 2:08 pm by belgianwaffle

As you will recall, due to my pregnancy
complications, I now weigh less than when I started off on this adventure. However, my stomach remains. But my bottom has disappeared. I look a bit like these lads who were skinny
in their 20s and then ran to seed in their 30s – still skinny but with a pot
belly. On the plus side, my ankles have
returned to their usual dimensions. I
keep looking at them wondering how these slender stalks can possibly support
me.

So I still have this enormous bump and it is
very distressing. I have no recollection
of this happening last time. And it’s very
noticeable. I was in mothercare the
other day spending all our money on whiskey and beer (um no actually on
breastpumps, bottles, cot sheets and maternity bras, if you must know) and the
lady behind the counter asked when my baby was due. “The week before last” I said sourly. Which just goes to show, as Mr. Waffle
observed, that you should never, never ask, if someone is pregnant. A woman with a visible bump is buying lots of
baby gear – you might think it would be safe to assume that she is pregnant –
wrong, wrong, wrong.

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 13 October 2005 at 17:17

Well the truth must out. How’s your cold? 0
Sweetie(s) given

StarCorner

on 13 October 2005 at 17:24

Oh dear – I’ve done that to someone who I thought had been pregnant the last time I saw her and had asked her what she’d had. Turns out she was just fat… oh dear oh dear oh dear!!! 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 14 October 2005 at 09:52

So basically your bum is now in front and up a bit. That sounds very worrying. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 14 October 2005 at 11:41

Star, very distressing for all parties concerned.
JD, yes. 0
Sweetie(s) given

yvonne

(Homepage)

on 14 October 2005 at 12:45

After my third I was walking ( 3 – 4 days after delivery) to get some of the weight off. One of the guys in my neighbourhood shouted, “It must be time soon, eh?” I burst into tears and ran home (ok, waddled) to cry. Very hard right after delivery but the big tummy DOES go away.

Locotes

on 14 October 2005 at 13:27

Fear not, once they start crawling you’ll be highly toned just from chasing them. Not to mention rushing to stop the Princess from poking them with her finger. Which I hear she’s liable to do… 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 14 October 2005 at 14:03

Well that being so, there is of course an up-side.
For teh next few weeks, you won’t have to ask does me bum look big in this? all you have to do is look down… 😐
And now I think I’d best be away. Sharpish. [runs] 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 15 October 2005 at 13:33

Yvonne, oh sympathy. Am very comforted by what you say about the big tummy going away though. Fingers crossed.
Locotes, if they’re anything like their sister, they won’t crawl for another 10 months, I can’t stay like this until then…I want to go out and not have people ask me about my due date.
JD, there is something in what you say, of course, but if I were you, I would pick up speed! 0
Sweetie(s) given

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12 October, 2005 at 4:13 pm by belgianwaffle

Dialogue I

Me (fawningly): What a beautiful little girl you are. Look you have beautiful big blue eyes, a
perfect little nose, lovely lips, interesting teeth and gorgeous blonde hair.

Madam:
Don’t forget my cheeks.

Dialogue II

Me to baby Michael: Hello, little man.
Princess (deep sigh): Mummy, why are you talking to him, you know babies can’t talk.

Oh, and also, Mr. Waffle suggested that I insert this link
to show that the future Belgian queen and her little brother are just
as delighted with their new sibling as the Princess is with her little
brothers.

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 13 October 2005 at 14:06

Absolutely not. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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12 October, 2005 at 9:42 am by belgianwaffle

Madam has now departed to the creche and the boys are sleeping the
sleep of the just. I have therefore used this opportunity to
order a dust buster using my supermarket points. You have no idea
how pleased I am by this. Yes, I realise this makes me a very sad
person. Go away.

Comments

Minkleberry

on 12 October 2005 at 12:19

I love my dustbuster 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 12 October 2005 at 16:11

UC, I love that. To take pleasure in the trivial things of life is a great gift. I think that I will get a lot of use from that.
Minks, am so glad I am not alone. Delivery is scheduled for 10 days time. I’m on the edge of my seat here. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 12 October 2005 at 17:56

I used to have a DustBuster. Then one night in winter long ago, it was used as an unauthorised weapon during a game of Jeu d’affaires. (I was not winning.) Was last seen travelling in a gracful arc in the general direction of the Khaleej al Araby…. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 13 October 2005 at 14:05

Gosh, I hadn’t realised that they were so dangerous. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 13 October 2005 at 22:28

Yep — virtually weapon of mass destruction. But that’s what happens when some bugger launches your DustBuster off a 10th floor balcony…. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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11 October, 2005 at 8:59 am by belgianwaffle

Me: Will we go home and see Daddy and the boys?
Princess: He’s my Daddy not the boys’ Daddy.
Me: Yes, he’s certainly your Daddy.
Princess: And NOT the boys’ Daddy.

Me to Daniel: Come here to your Mummy.
Outraged Princess: You’re MY Mummy.

By the way,
I thought you might like to know that we tried to think of nicknames for the
boys for the blog but we got stuck.
Prince Michael Waffle? You see
our difficulty. Suggestions welcome.

Comments

NorahSplog

on 11 October 2005 at 10:35

When I was about the princess’ age, much against my better judgement my parents brought home my little brother. I was asked what I thought we should call the new baby and was very quick to suggest ‘Dorrid’. Dorrid? asked my mother, being careful not to invalidate my input, “Dorrid is a very unusual name – what made you think of Dorrid?” I sighed, rolled my eyes and pointed out that then we could all call him ‘Horrid Dorrid’. 0
Sweetie(s) given

formerfilmexpert

on 11 October 2005 at 16:40

ah well at least as you were the eldest child, you can sympathize. I suspected the happy princess would not last long after the boys came home and the presents stopped coming!!!! Well only 75 days to Christmas and more presents for princess then 0
Sweetie(s) given

Locotes

on 11 October 2005 at 16:49

Vader and Darth?
Sly and Arnie?
Tom and Jerry?
BBB1 and BBB2? (baby blogging boy) 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 12 October 2005 at 01:27

I know this sounds like i’m demoting them, but what about making them a duke and an earl or something?

Friar Tuck

on 12 October 2005 at 04:06

Pancake and Flapjack.

belgianwaffle

on 12 October 2005 at 09:50

JD, last ciggie? Ready, aim, fire.
Norah, superb!
FFE – 75 days is a long time.
Loc, Kristin, I dunno, I’m half inclined to go with FT’s pancake and flapjack. 0
Sweetie(s) given

cha0tic

on 12 October 2005 at 10:30

The Brother of a Princess is generally a prince & bearing in mind your geographic location… Prince Fritte, Prince Sprout, Prince Choccy.

Pick 2 from the list. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 12 October 2005 at 16:09

Prince Frites and Prince Sprout, I rather like. We may have a winner here. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 12 October 2005 at 17:37

Not a patch on Cha and Mia…..
[runs away] 0
Sweetie(s) given

beachhutman

on 12 October 2005 at 21:21

Calvin and Hobbes?
Marks and Spencer?
Pease and Pudding?
Eggs and bacon?
I could go on………. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 13 October 2005 at 14:06

BHM – stop while you still can.
JD, that goes for you too. 0
Sweetie(s) given

ladyjane

on 14 October 2005 at 23:03

Molenbeek and Dendermonde? If you’re really discounting Cha and Mia that is.

jackdalton

on 14 October 2005 at 23:29

Ok… ok.. I’ve got it: Fianna and F?il. yes? Yes?! 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 15 October 2005 at 13:34

Oh, very good ladyjane. JD, I’m appalled, of course, it could be worse, progressive and democrat. 0
Sweetie(s) given

]]>

10 October, 2005 at 11:41 am by belgianwaffle

One of the great things about having babies is the presents (not the
ONLY great thing). All of our guests at the weekend came
pre-equipped with presents not just for the boys but for her Highness
as well. Is this not wonderful? And the doorbell keeps
ringing as the postman arrives with parcels. This morning we got
DHLed from Scotland a range of cashmere gear from the best dressed
diplomat. The excitement.

Comments

poggle

on 10 October 2005 at 13:01

Cashmere gear for the babies? Really? 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 10 October 2005 at 15:25

where do you get your energy? 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

on 10 October 2005 at 17:18

I remain in awe. All this coming and going and you barely out of the hospital. I left the house maybe 3 times in the first month after my daughter was born, and that was just one!
xo

amerly

on 10 October 2005 at 17:18

OOO thank you for the sweetie!
hope the princess and the 2 princes are all okay!! 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 11 October 2005 at 08:55

Jack, I feel that this is sound advice.
Pog, I know, the indulgence of it all and for me and spouse and Princess.
Minks, went to bed at 8.00 last night dizzy with exhaustion.
Kristin, it’s only because of necessity – I have a two year old to entertain, otherwise I wouldn’t have left the house either!
Amerly, very welcome, all as well as can be expected. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Two stars are born

6 October, 2005 at 3:21 pm by belgianwaffle

A number of people asked me whether I had a “natural birth” with the boys. Did I have a caesarian section? No. On the other hand, does the picture below look natural to you?

My epidural arrived before my first contraction – the doctor was summoned from his bed at 6 in the morning, and proper order too. Labour was painless and took place between 9.00 and 3.00. It made me vomit though and vomitting as you lie on your back being wheeled along hospital corridors towards the delivery room is suboptimal. Daniel was born at 3.15 a strapping 3.03 kilos and, in what I fear may well be a pattern for life, nobody worried about him. Michael was delighted with the extra space available and turned sideways. Two burly midwives grabbed his little person and from the outside manoeuvered him into head down position while I looked on in horror and my doctor grabbed for his head (she had a lovely time in Croatia, thanks for asking).

She told me later that she thought that she’d have to an emergency caesarian and she had asked the nurses to call the anaesthetist without mentioning his name – in case I gathered that that was why he was being called. I am touched by her faith in my intelligence and powers of concentration. Anyhow, Michael was born at 15.39 and though on the light side at 2.2 kilos, he was absolutely fine. The potential caesarian, also explains why the anaesthetist turned up immediately after Michael was born and chatted away to myself and Mr. Waffle for no reason we could understand at the time. As I threw up into my little kidney bowl, I did wonder vaguely whether it was some kind of revenge for getting him up at 6 in the morning. He’s Lebanese and we were talking about the situation in the Middle East between vomits, and it was a little challenging. “Syria is not good” was about all I could summon to mind at that precise moment and even I knew that to be inadequate. I wouldn’t mind but I’d struggled through a long article in the LRB only recently not to mention having read “Pity the Nation” by Robert Fisk when I was in college.

To summarise, the stay in hospital was for a full week and despite constant interruptions (meals, nurses, obstetrician, paediatrician, physio, woman to throw out dead flowers, cleaner, tea lady morning and afternoon, water delivering lady, the odd visitor etc.), I felt pretty well. I think this was partly because, as a bad mother, I roomed out and mixed breast and bottle. Doubtless I will be chucked out of the Brussels Childbirth Trust.

It is very nice to be home though. Delighted with kind bloggers’ reactions, also flowers, cards, presents, emails and a beautiful new watch from my loving husband. Also lovely to see a bit more of my little girl (not too much more, mind, she’s still going to the creche every day). My mother has, alas, decamped to Cork where she deemed that my father’s need was greater than ours. I suppose she knows – she’s been married to him a while; in fact the boys were born on my parents’ 38th wedding anniversary.

Comments

StarCorner

on 06 October 2005 at 15:33

Oh I know I shouldn’t have but that made me laugh!!! Glad you’re well and congratulations the boys look absolutely adorable. Take Care xxxx 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Locotes

on 06 October 2005 at 16:42

Well I did warn you about your father – he could have left the emersion on or something – disastrous. Your mother couldn’t take that kind of risk…

Glad all is well – good to see you’re back blogging a week later – jolly good show.
Am I reading the clocks right in that the 2nd wee lad decided to join us a full 12 hours later? Poor you. All’s well…etc, though. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

jackdalton

on 06 October 2005 at 22:48

The youngster says it all above…. well done, ‘waf and welcome back. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Sarcastic Journalist

(Homepage)

on 07 October 2005 at 05:15

I can only hope, after I give birth, that someone will come and discuss the middle east with me.
I’m glad you’re back! I can’t believe you have twins now! ���

Minkleberry

on 07 October 2005 at 07:15

I was born on my parents first anniversary! You’re my hero- I can’t believe you’re breastfeeding two babies. And blogging. That is hardcore. Hearty Congrats from us all xxx 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

poggle

on 07 October 2005 at 13:38

That looks like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.
Well done Mrs Waffle …. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Beso

on 07 October 2005 at 16:24

Just looking at that photograph terrifies the life out of me, some of those things look like medieval implements of torture. You’re my hero.
Your new boys are so handsome, congratulations to all the Waffles. 2
Sweetie(s) given ���

roach

on 07 October 2005 at 16:36

congratulations and well done 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Beth

(Homepage)

on 07 October 2005 at 20:44

Congratulations on your gorgeous boys! ���

negrito

on 07 October 2005 at 23:38

BRAVO !!! that is wonderful… Oh, by the way, I am in Brussels now 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 10 October 2005 at 08:56

Amerly, a sweetie is winging its way to you.
Star, indeed you should not! Thanks for congrats.
Loc, no, no, second joined about half an hour after the first – clearly my mastery of the 24 hour clock isn’t all it could be.
SJ, that would make two of us.
Well, Minks, somewhat guiltily, I am mixing breast and bottle, cos I just can’t manage to breastfeed them both at the same time and doing them sequentially would mean that I would have to spend all my time under a baby…
Pog, I know, but great stuff the old epidural all the same.
Beso, many thanks, and thanks for the sweeties also.
Roach, thank you.
Beth, thank you – am impressed that you are taking time out to check on other blogs!
Negrito – for good or for the weekend? 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

negrito

on 10 October 2005 at 21:45

for good, Gritoland is now located in Ixelles, near Place du chatelain 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Locotes

on 11 October 2005 at 16:46

ah. well then. that would make all the difference I’d imagaine. for your physical well-being as well as your sanity. you can work on the whole 24hour thing over the next few months in-between nappy changes… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 12 October 2005 at 09:48

Yes, I look forward to that… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

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