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30 November, 2005 at 10:49 am by belgianwaffle

An unwelcome development
The Princess has added blackmail to her accomplishments.  This week’s favourite phrase is “put down Michael/Daniel or I’ll be bold”.  Non-Irish readers please note that she is not threatening us with bravery; Irish people say bold while the rest of the English speaking world opts for naughty.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 30 November 2005 at 16:31

I’m sure it is just a phase. A fifteen-year phase, but a phase nonetheless…. ���

ladyjane

on 30 November 2005 at 21:07

That’s a very bright little girl. I wonder where she gets it from? ���

Peggy

(Homepage)

on 01 December 2005 at 10:53

Has nothing to do with the rest.
I was watching cartoons very early this morning with son nr. 2 and saw that one was produced by a company called Belgian Waffles.
Watch out for copyrights! ���

Locotes

on 01 December 2005 at 15:24

Good Lord – what sort of wonderful parenting techniques are you using?? Such a talent will serve her marvellously in future life…
(ps – is ‘bold’ only an Irish thing?) 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

KateEvans

on 01 December 2005 at 18:04

I’m going to make this blog off-limits to our daughter – I fear the Princess will become her role model. 1
Sweetie(s) given ���

Minkleberry

on 02 December 2005 at 07:44

Clever girl. She’ll go far. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 02 December 2005 at 16:07

Kristin, feel free..
FT, have a heart.
LJ, blackmailing skills? From her father..
Peggy, I was here first. Sorry about your adsl by the way…that’s what happens if you refuse to bow to the will of Mr. Gates.
Loc, yes and yes. Are you back?
KE, ta for sweetie, trust all is well with the katelet.
Minks, yeah, if she’s not throttled by one of the boys when they gain control of their limbs. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

poggle

on 04 December 2005 at 23:25

Ooooh – she’s a bold girl …. x 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 05 December 2005 at 10:26

You see how useful this blog is? Now you are armed with local lingo for your next trip to Ireland. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

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29 November, 2005 at 3:44 pm by belgianwaffle

We picked
up the boys’ passports yesterday. Apparently we are the proud parents of
Michael and Danile. How hard is it to spell Daniel? Pshaw.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 29 November 2005 at 16:34

Public servants are always right. Apparently, YOU have been misspelling his name all along.

kristin

(Homepage)

on 29 November 2005 at 17:07

*giggling at tuck’s comment*
ps thanks mrs waffle for stopping by my blog. 😉

jackdalton

on 29 November 2005 at 22:34

And I always thought it was a river….
Should’a gone with Cha and Mia 🙂
And thanks for the IslayGirl relay — I’m genuinely surprised and a bit flattered.
Back Early 2006 — all going well; cross my digital heart… 1
Sweetie(s) given

Mikeachim

on 29 November 2005 at 23:58

Is that going to embarassingly clash with the spelling in any other documents, do you think? Identity card? Could be irritating….. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 02 December 2005 at 16:02

Mike, probably.
JD, yay, so pleased that you’ll be back! And a sweetie. Ta.
Kristin, regularly do so. Note to self, must update favourites list.
FT, humph.
Minks, haven’t slept since! 0
Sweetie(s) given

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29 November, 2005 at 3:41 pm by belgianwaffle
Comments

belgianwaffle

on 29 November 2005 at 15:49

Yes, and I like the grubby cardboard box as well. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 29 November 2005 at 15:51

where theres muck theres brass- or something… 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 30 November 2005 at 10:51
(
Comment Modified) In this case, where there’s irradiated muck.. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 30 November 2005 at 16:27

I guess that explains the boys’ healthy glow!

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28 November, 2005 at 10:58 am by belgianwaffle

It snowed over the weekend. The Princess was entranced. Her
father took her to the circus which was ok but not as exciting as the
light wand thingy L’s father bought her.

I would like to second Negrito’s review of
the Belga Queen and add that seeing these toilets for the first time
when you are nine months pregnant is enough to give you heart failure.

Comments

Minkleberry

on 28 November 2005 at 17:42

happy 2 months boys! 0
Sweetie(s) given

JoJo

on 28 November 2005 at 20:58

would it be really awful of me to claim responsibility for those tops, making myself look, simultaneously, like an amazingly generous, giving woman and a fashion guru for 2-month old boys?
It would?
Damn. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 29 November 2005 at 15:49

FT, wise. Ta Minks. Why, Jojo, thank you for your tasteful gift. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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25 November, 2005 at 1:21 pm by belgianwaffle

I come back
to the dinner table from the kitchen to find Princess sitting in solitary
splendour, Michael in a bouncy chair and Mr. Waffle and Daniel gone.
“What happened?” I ask her.

“Daniel was
sick on Daddy. On his trousers and on
his t-shirt and on the floor” she gestures expansively “and Daddy say ‘fuck!’”.

Comments

dmts

on 25 November 2005 at 13:27

She’s got such a brilliant recall. She’s going to make you so proud 0
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 25 November 2005 at 13:41

Good job he does the washing … 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 25 November 2005 at 15:53

well, as long as it was daddy, and not daniel… 0
Sweetie(s) given

gracehart

on 26 November 2005 at 06:02

Ooopsie, the f word… ^^
What would it be of this world without little Princess remarks? She’s so lovely!! 🙂
Regards, Mr. & Mrs. Waffle.
(And make some silly funny faces to the lovely princes from me, please ^^) 0
Sweetie(s) given

negrito

on 27 November 2005 at 17:32

lol… that’s cool dinner 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 28 November 2005 at 11:03

Should I say that Irish people swear more than others? Or did you know that already? Lots more than Americans who I find are quite alarmingly polite and nothing like on the telly.. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Diva

on 28 November 2005 at 16:23

*can’t stop laughing!*

Bless! 0
Sweetie(s) given

nagnagnag

on 28 November 2005 at 16:30

And who wouldn’t, though?! 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 29 November 2005 at 15:45

Diva, hmm, are you ebcouraging her? NNN, I suppose. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Diva

on 29 November 2005 at 16:21

God, I’d be hopeless, I would keep giggling and, as kids do love an appreciative audience, it wouldn’t help matters one bit so you’d probably have to put me on the naughty step as an example! :o) 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Put Upon

24 November, 2005 at 9:13 am by belgianwaffle

Parent 1: I’m going to clean the kitchen.
Parent 2: Yes, why don’t you have a little break?

Other things that now constitute a little break: putting out the bins, washing teeth, having a shower.

Comments
If you want a holiday, I have a lot of housework to be done…

Bobble
Waffly, you have my utmost respect and admiration x

giftofthegab
and he’s still alive? mine politely suggested i tend to some laundry of his this morning. i am plotting his downfall as we speak.
Diva
Men are barking mad! ;o)

belgianwaffle
A number of you are making sexist assumptions in relation to who said what..

poggle
But are they right?

belgianwaffle
Um, yeah, but he does the laundry..

poggle
Gotcha. Hee hee.

sarcastic journalist
(Homepage)
Break in my house also constitutes going to the grocery store.

belgianwaffle
Smart pog.
SJ, that IS a break.

Lilo
I’m the same – and I’d add having a pee to my ‘having a little break’ list.

belgianwaffle
You get to go on your own???

23 November, 2005 at 12:46 pm by belgianwaffle

The remainder of the night went as follows:
12.30 FINALLY persuade the boys to go to sleep for the night.
1.30 Well, not for the night, obviously, feed them again and pray.
2.30 Boys wake up again and are anxious to play.
3.30 Boys wake up again and are fed.
4.50 Princess wakes up and demands a bottle and that I lie beside
her. As I am singing “rock a bye baby” hear roaring from our
bedroom. Finish “rock a bye baby” and depart.
5.00 Feed the boys AGAIN and hope that they will now sleep.
5.30 Boys are drifting off to sleep. Realise that I cannot
remember the last time I changed them. Change them and wake them
up. Castigate myself for extreme idiocy.
6.00 Boys finally go to sleep.
7.00 Princess wakes for the day and promptly prods her brothers awake.

Comments

NorahSplog

on 23 November 2005 at 12:58

I’m tired just reading that. 1
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 23 November 2005 at 15:02

Oh lordy. Huge amounts of sympathy. 2
Sweetie(s) given

geepeemum

on 23 November 2005 at 15:57

Gulp. I’m sure you’re fed up with the “how do you do it?” comments but – how do you do it? 1
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 23 November 2005 at 17:22

And she still finds the energy to blog. Now that’s true dedication. 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 24 November 2005 at 02:21

Oh dear. If i weere a 20six-er, i could give you a bunch of sweeties, but since i’m not, i’ll just hand you a cool cloth for your head. and possibly your bb’s. and i know you don’t celebrate, but it’s thanksgiving day here, tomorrow, so just be glad you won’t be called upon to do all of the above and produce a 20-lb turkey with all the fixins. kisses and sleeping pills for all.

belgianwaffle

on 24 November 2005 at 09:12

Wow, a sweetie bonanza. Thank you ladies and, er, ladies. Hunter came home from the neighbouring Grand Duchy last night and was greeted with ecstasy. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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22 November, 2005 at 3:13 pm by belgianwaffle

If I could use the photoshop thingy, I might get rid of the patch of
vomit between them on the sheet or I suppose I could use that time to
change the sheet..

Comments

Beth

(Homepage)

on 22 November 2005 at 15:26

“Wait a minute, I thought I was Michael.”

Friar Tuck

on 22 November 2005 at 15:32

Who is that lady? And why does she keep flashing that bright light in our eyes?

dmts

on 22 November 2005 at 15:44

Hey, it could be worse! We could have our pictures showing on the internet. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Diva

on 22 November 2005 at 16:28

Twin 1: “So the master plan is as soon as she changes the sheet we vomit again, like this….”
Twin 2: “Shhh! I hear her coming! Just look cute so she doesn’t get suspicious!” 0
Sweetie(s) given

cha0tic

on 22 November 2005 at 17:34

“Hang on. Why do I have to lie in your vomit?” 0
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 23 November 2005 at 09:34

Twin 1:Nonono – I shaid, a man walksh into a bar wif an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotshman …
Twin 2: Shtill doan geddit. Wha’s she puttin’ in our bocklesh anyway? 0
Sweetie(s) given

OliviaJoules

on 23 November 2005 at 10:08

Twin1: If only I could roll…
Twin2: Mummmmmy! 0
Sweetie(s) given

Locotes

on 23 November 2005 at 11:13

“Are you as tired as I am of being used against your will for caption competitions?”

“Yep.” 0
Sweetie(s) given

geepeemum

on 23 November 2005 at 11:30

“You’re in a pink sleepsuit too – how old do you think we’ll be before we stop wearing the Princess’s clothes?”
(the curse of the younger brother – mine did it too!)

belgianwaffle

on 23 November 2005 at 12:13

You people are actually really funny, I think I may do this again, I enjoyed that a lot and I need all the thrills I can get. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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22 November, 2005 at 9:23 am by belgianwaffle

I recommend
that you read this. It is the funniest thing I have read in
some time.

Completely unrelated:
The Law
Society of Ireland Gazette is anxious to reassure that solitors are taking the
latest slur on the legal profession seriously (too lengthy and depressing to go
into). This month the magazine assures
readers that “..the Society will accept, for the first time, complaints made
other than in writing”. Way to go,
that’s bound to reassure the punters.

Comments

UndercoverCookie

on 22 November 2005 at 09:56

it frightened the bejeesus out of me. I’ve never had kids. I’d like to have them – or at least I did. 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 22 November 2005 at 11:24

Oh god oh god oh god 0
Sweetie(s) given

dmts

on 22 November 2005 at 11:39

Well, you took it better than I imagined Norah. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 15:06

H, reckon Minks is too experienced to be scared now, but at least Norah and Cookie are terrified. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 22 November 2005 at 15:39

Hilarious- a little bit of wee snuck out (only a little though, thank god.) 0
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 23 November 2005 at 09:31

Hell- I’m never having a baby and I was terrified. And amused.
Do you think the Law Society will be accepting complaints such as rotten eggs hurled at them, by the way? 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 23 November 2005 at 12:11

Minks, showing your experience – amused not terrified, see pog was terrified and amused in that order. Pog, suspect that they might not, worth a try though… 0
Sweetie(s) given

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20 November, 2005 at 2:38 pm by belgianwaffle

My sister
and I spoke on the phone during the week.

Round I

Me: You’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.

Her: Why?

Me
(triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!

Her: What?
What?

Me: I
dropped Michael.

Her: Oh
God!

Me: Not
very far and on to the sofa, he didn’t like it much though.

Daniel poos.

Me: Did you hear that?

Her: I was trying to ignore it.

Me: That
was your nephew doing a poo.

Her: Too
much information.

Me: But my
life is full of poo at the moment.

Her (tartly):
But mine doesn’t have to be.

Me
(grudgingly): Fair point.

Round II

Me: I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other
night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your
clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the
programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell me…

Her: No.

Me: Why
not?

Her
(crabbily): I haven’t seen you much
since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I
got my nose bitten off.

Me (even
more crabbily): Have you any idea how
hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?

Her (hastily):
Anyway, I haven’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.

Me: It’s
still all the same.

Her: Pregnant
silence.

Me: Oh I
see.

Knock out

Her:
Anyway, I’ve got to go, I have a meeting.

Me: But you
can’t go, I’m stuck under two feeding babies.

Her: Sorry.

Me
(desperately): But I haven’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio
is off.

Her: Gotta
go, bye, talk to you soon.

I spend the
next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying
to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 21 November 2005 at 17:58

I’m trying, unsuccessfully, to work myself up to the expected level of indignation toward sis.

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 09:19

Yes, Minks and to add insult to injury a parcel arrived from her in the post yesterday for the Princess and the boys and now I feel guilty as well…
FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Quite miscellaneous matters while children nap

18 November, 2005 at 12:09 pm by belgianwaffle

Got an email from my father-in-law beginning as follows:

“[A]s I sipped my espresso macchiato this morning (as an aside, this was the place in Smithfield where I asked a new member of staff for an espresso, to be told “Sorry-don’t understand English)….”

It’s far from espresso macchiatos he was reared; this celtic tiger stuff is getting out of control.

I rather like the juxtaposition of the standard signature and the content of this email from a friend and fellow Georgette Heyer fan:

GH [Georgette Heyer I’m reading] is Sylvester – lots of fun, although I think I could write them myself at this stage – the
signposts are pretty clear!

Nxx

N M
Professor of Extremely Hard Law
School of Law
University of X”

Got an email from my sister as follows:

“I know one shouldn’t laugh at names, but Kermit!!!

Organizational Announcement – Productivity Operations Leader – Kermit S

I am pleased to announce that Kermit S has accepted the position of Productivity Operations Leader, and will assume his new role effective Monday, November 21, 2005.

Kermit, has an extensive 25 year manufacturing/production background and a proven record of creating and maintaining high performance work teams. Kermit will be responsible for leading the overall process improvement efforts. X will report directly to Kermit, as will Y.

Please join me, in welcoming Kermit, his wife and his 2 children to the [insert company name here] Family.”

Showed this to Mr. Waffle but he refused to be amused. “It must have been a name before it was assigned to a frog.”   “Oh yeah, there are so many famous Kermits in history, Kermit of Arc, Pope Kermit, Kermit Roosevelt…” But he remains adamant and unamused, think it’s kind of a funny name myself.

Ventured out yesterday and today.

Yesterday my path out was barred by a pigeon sitting in the hall looking at me nastily. It was quite scary. I shouted shoo at it in an entirely ineffectual way and it looked at me in distinct scorn.  I edged past it to the door and when I got there found it was bucketing rain and I had no umbrella so went back upstairs with Daniel attached to me in the sling and
left Michael in the hall in the buggy.  On the way up I began to worry that the pigeon might attack Michael (stop sniggering, it was very malignant) so ran all the way back down to find him safe although the pigeon looked like he was reckoning whether Michael might be edible.  When I finally secured my umbrella, I pointed it at the pigeon and opened and closed it
vigourously.  If pigeons could laugh, I think that he would have. Malevolently. He certainly didn’t move and the three of us edged past very cautiously.

All of this going out is good preparation for next week
when we will be home alone as Mr. Waffle is off on a work trip.  The boys and I will have to drive the Princess to the creche and pick her up (the alternative is worse).  I am nervous, people.

Comments

NorahSplog

on 18 November 2005 at 12:29

Hah – Professor of Extremely Hard Law is brilliant!

dmts

on 18 November 2005 at 12:44

I’m with you on the Kermit – can you imagine having to go on a date with someone called Kermit? I mean, you wouldn’t would you? How could you possibly be romantic with Kermit? No. Mr Waffle speaks false – tell him from me.

poggle

on 18 November 2005 at 13:29

Poor Kermit. But silly Kermit – you’d have to change your name, wouldn’t you?

Kateri

(Homepage)

on 18 November 2005 at 15:05

I met a guy named Kermit once, years ago. I couldn’t keep a straight face. He gave me the eyeball of death and walked away. Poor guy. I bet he’s changed his name by now.

Bobble

on 18 November 2005 at 16:32

Mmm I worked with some wonderfully named people at a German investment bank. Thermos Kartalis was delightful.

kristin

(Homepage)

on 18 November 2005 at 16:44

because i’m all about research:
Kermit
Gender: Boy
Origin: Irish, Gaelic
Meaning: “Without envy.”
Notes: Variant of Dermot, made famous by the popular green Muppet Kermit the Frog.
Keywords: gaelic, irish, famous, popular, green
Popularity: The name Kermit ranked 588 out of 1219 (Top 48%) as a first name for males of all ages in the 1990 U.S. Census. The name Kermit was not ranked among 88799 surnames for males and females of all ages in the 1990 U.S. Census.
“Without envy,” indeed. *snort*

Nicole

(Homepage)

on 18 November 2005 at 20:32

I’m assuming you KNOW there really was a Kermit Roosevelt (he was Theodore’s (eldest, I think) son), and you slipped that in there to be tricky right? Good one! (p.s. I only know this random fact because I heard a review on National Public Radio (in the US) about a book written about the journey through the Amazon rainforest Kermit and his father took after TR’s second run for presidential office.)

beachhutman

on 19 November 2005 at 00:11

Or this guy: http://www.law.csuohio.edu/faculty/lind/
Would that be Carluccios? ON the pavement?

kristin

(Homepage)

on 20 November 2005 at 02:19

hey nicole, i heard that same review!

belgianwaffle

on 20 November 2005 at 14:48

SSC, alas, it would appear that the pigeon is boss.
Norah, ta.
Heather, Pog, Bobble, yes, yes, interesting.
The rest of you: you know far, far too much about Kermits. I am, however, delighted to discover that it means ” without envy”.

KateEvans

on 22 November 2005 at 09:44

What lovely boys. At the moment our own little darling has been complaining about life, the universe and everything for the last three hours and to me they look like peaceful, silent little angels in comparison.

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 15:06

Only briefly Kate..

17 November, 2005 at 5:08 pm by belgianwaffle

“It
does seem that everyone is having twins. It could be that people are having
their babies when they’re older (I don’t really go with this one, because my
mother didn’t have me until she was 35, and most Irish women who were having 6
and 7 children were having children in their late thirties, or even early
forties, and there didn’t seem to be that many twins).

It
could be that people are having their first pregnancy when they’re older
(Maybe the biological clock says, gosh, at long last a pregnancy, better make
the most of it and produce two).

Or
I have this sort of way out theory that just as there were more boys born
directly after the war (so that the population equilibrium was quickly restored
– New Scientist did a series on this a coupe of years ago, which doesn’t mean
it’s true of course), could it possibly be that less people have babies, so
those who have babies have more of them…. I’ve nothing really to base this on.

Or
how about natural selection. Twins have a high level of family support, develop
advanced social skills, and make their parents very happy, so that they in turn
enter into happy successful relationships and so the “twin gene” gets
passed on and multiplies…. That’s a nice theory!

Or
it could be the pill.”

Comments

groupie

on 18 November 2005 at 09:45

There DO seem to be a lot of twins around at the moment. But my older sisters are twins, so I’ve grown up thinking it’s quite normal anyway. At their primary school – a tiny village school – there were something like 3 or 4 other sets of twins there at the same time. Perhaps you just notice twins more when you’ve got a direct connection to some? 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 18 November 2005 at 12:18

Norah, somebody has to look after our pensions, go, produce another.
Groupie, there may be something in what you say… 0
Sweetie(s) given

cha0tic

on 20 November 2005 at 14:47

I blame the supermarkets. All those 2-for-1 offers must have rubbed off on humanity 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 20 November 2005 at 14:49

Probably.. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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16 November, 2005 at 12:59 pm by belgianwaffle

8.30 Mr. Waffle announces that we need bread and milk and he will
purchase same at lunch time. “Well, I can make bread” I say and
then, after a pause for reflection, “and also milk.”
9.00 -11.00 Sit on couch trapped under feeding babies. Ring my
mother and wake her up. Tell her about the Affables’ twins.
She says “was it an IVF pregnancy?”
11.00 – 11.30 Decide to venture out with the boys with a view to
purchasing bread and milk as the rain has stopped. Make elaborate
preparations:

11.45 Decide to knock boys out with formula before leaving. Undo elaborate preparations.
12.00 Boys conked, redo elaborate preparations. Rain starts again. Abandon hope of ever leaving the house.

Comments

UndercoverCookie

on 16 November 2005 at 13:40

me too… too funny. 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 16 November 2005 at 14:08

CRYING with laughter over bread … and milk. It’s so true. At one point with my little one i was massively overproducing, and i considered becoming a wet nurse. i thot it might appeal to the yuppified part of the world i was living in at the time. There i was, overeducated, underutilized, and underemployed! it was the perfect solution!

poggle

on 16 November 2005 at 16:06

Bread and milk – heeheehee …. 0
Sweetie(s) given

yvonne

(Homepage)

on 16 November 2005 at 17:38

Boy, I admire your sense of humour in the whole thing. I too have three – well spaced – kids. At times it is extremely hectic at my place. I cannot imagine how stressful it must be at your. Hang in there – it does get easier. Just not quickly. 🙂

belgianwaffle

on 17 November 2005 at 17:20

Yes, thank you, I am hilariously funny. Yvonne, liked your story about your needs not being met. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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16 November, 2005 at 8:51 am by belgianwaffle

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 17 November 2005 at 17:21

Eating porridge? 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Leading a charmed life

15 November, 2005 at 10:27 am by belgianwaffle

Early in my pregnancy, I had a battery of tests to investigate my rash (remember that?). It was all a bit worrying. My GP called me in to discuss the results but they found nothing other than a mild infection which they insisted on treating with antibiotics to my intense chagrin. My chagrin became even more intense when my gynaecologist subsequently said that it probably wasn’t necessary to take the antibiotics and my friend the heart surgeon said likewise (I had elevated protein in my urine for my whole pregnancy and it was fine she said, mind you, this is the woman who had to take STEROIDS while pregnant so really I don’t know why she was worried about a few old antibiotics). As one of these odd people who won’t take a paracetemol when pregnant, it really went against the grain to take a course of antibiotics. It was also quite difficult because I was throwing up every five minutes and I had to try very hard not to throw up after taking my pills. However, the antibiotics didn’t do any harm, though I’m not sure they did any good either. In any event the rash cleared up by itself eventually.So that was that.

I was surprised to get a slightly panicked message from my GP a couple of weeks later. When I called her back, she said that she needed to see me immediately. I zoomed off to her surgery. Most of the tests they had done were rash tests but they had also done standard pregnancy blood tests for the hell of it. In the excitement over the rash tests and the antibiotics, everyone had forgotten to look at the pregnancy blood tests. My GP had just noticed that I had tested positive for CMV.

Cytomegalovirus is commonly contracted from the urine of small children. It is therefore unusual to catch it before a first pregnancy. Women who have not been exposed in infancy, usually get it after their first baby and before becoming pregnant with their second. If you’re not pregnant, the worst it will do to you is give you flu like symptoms and you may have no symptoms at all. If you are pregnant, the effects on the foetus or foetuses can be very serious and there is no recommended treatment. I suppose because there is no treatment, CMV is not routinely tested for in Ireland, the UK, the US or France. I’m not sure what the situation is in other jurisdictions. In Belgium, they do test for it and as my GP explained to me, the standard practice, if you test positive, is to terminate the pregnancy and try again.

I remember sitting there and feeling as though someone had pinned me to the chair with a heavy weight. My GP was saying that though her last patient who had contracted the virus had terminated her pregnancy, she had had other patients who had gone on to have healthy babies. But it’s twins I thought – how could we cope with two handicapped children? How would it affect our little girl? And continued the GP the patient who had the termination was very unstable. I recommend that you continue the pregnancy. I sat up straight and tried to look stable and not burst into tears. She sent me running round the city for further blood tests, all of which confirmed the initial results.

As you will be aware, a little google is a dangerous thing. That night we combed the internet for information. We found a chat room for parents of infected children. My God those poor kids were so sick. I remember thinking that now before they are born may be the only time these children will feel well. Our internet researches also indicated that in the case of twin pregnancies, if one twin got it, the other was likely to get infected also. I felt very guilty. I swear I am a thorough hand washer but if the Princess had not been in the creche, it’s likely I’d never have caught it.

We went to see my gynaecologist together. She is not a panicker and she was as upbeat as she could be. She confirmed the odds in our favour (60% chance that the babies would not be infected) as found by us in our internet researches. She confirmed that catching CMV in the first trimester was the worst time but she also said that this was when the placenta was strongest so this was when there was the best chance of the infection not passing at all. She said that it had been standard practice in the past to terminate pregnancies where the mother was infected with CMV. However, practice had changed and doctors now believed that it was wrong and unethical to terminate all pregnancies on the basis that the infection might be passed on in some cases. She spoke about some of her other patients who had been infected. One woman had a child who was mentally handicapped “she was fantastic with Gaultier, but, yes, it has been hard for her”. I didn’t feel I could be fantastic. She spoke about patients who had had deaf children following an infection and how well those children spoke and used sign language. She said that the previous week she had carried out a termination at 20 weeks on a patient whose infected baby had microcephalus. We discussed having an amniocentisis. This could show that the infection had not passed, however, even if it indicated that the infection had been transmitted to the foetuses, this would not necessarily indicate that they had been harmed by it. One of the particularly unpleasant things about CMV is that, if a foetus is infected, adverse effects may not become apparent until up to 3 years after birth. So the amnio could show that we were in the clear, or not. Either way, we were going to continue the pregnancy and since, apparently, the risk of spontaneous abortion following amnio for twins is 5% (as opposed to 0.5% for a single foetus), it just didn’t seem worth it to us.

We talked a lot about what we would do, if a scan showed serious handicaps. We decided that we would probably proceed with the pregnancy. I had lots and lots of scans and every one of them was an agony of suspense until the doctor uttered the magic words “I don’t see any trace of CMV on this scan”. The scan can’t show everything of course (for example, deafness wouldn’t show) but it was ruling out a really serious and horrific handicap.

I thought about CMV constantly. It lent a certain perspective to my life. The week before I heard the news, the Princess had broken her tooth and I was most put out. I subsequently realised that perhaps a broken baby tooth wasn’t quite the catastrophe I had thought. I went out for lunch one day with a colleague and a very unpleasant consultant he had working for him. The consultant told a series of unsavoury and unfunny jokes about mental handicap. Normally I would have found this
unpleasant, but in the circumstances, it almost reduced me to tears. We reconsidered our plans. We had intended to move home to Ireland in the next couple of years, but, if the babies had a handicap, we would have to seriously consider staying in Belgium for the long haul because education facilities and supports here are so much better than at home. I found myself looking at mentally handicapped children and their parents. How did they cope? How did these children interact with others and, in particular, with their siblings? Things like this made me cry. And people kept asking me “How are the babies?” What could I say only fine but every query depressed me. We decided that we wouldn’t tell anyone except our parents. There was enough misery about and, I suppose, we didn’t want people constantly asking whether there was news or not knowing what to say.

As the pregnancy progressed, I found myself trying to believe my husband’s reassurance that the numbers were on our side and also that he had always lived a charmed life and it wasn’t about to change now. In the back of my mind, however, I kept thinking, superstitiously, that I’ve always been very fortunate and maybe I was due some monumental misfortune.

When the babies were born, the preliminary tests were negative for infection but positive for antibodies, so inconclusive. The boys had hearing tests and brain scans. Everything was fine but that didn’t mean everything would stay fine. The urine tests would be conclusive and they took weeks. I was too scared to ring the paediatrician to find out the results. My husband called,
he frowned, I was terrified. He hung up. “Only Michael’s results are in”. “And?” “And he’s fine”.? Apparently, he does live a charmed life. Our internet research made us feel that if Michael was clear, Daniel was likely to be clear also and last week, Daniel was confirmed as CMV free. I know it’s a cliche but it really was like waking up from a bad dream and realising that it was only a dream. Euphoria is very good for overcoming exhaustion. I recommend it.

I can’t help wishing that I’d never known in the first place which would have been the case had I been pregnant in Ireland, but I suppose it has opened my eyes to an extent to the rights and needs of handicapped children and their parents. I feel so, so lucky. My gynaecologist, who at each appointment regularly chanted her mantra “mieux avoir la merde avant”, had dutifully delivered on her promise of a perfect birth and perfect babies (NOT a promise she would have made in litigious Ireland); we’ve decided to reward her by putting her on our Christmas card list.

Comments

giftofthegab

on 15 November 2005 at 10:45

my goodness what a journey. so glad the boys are ok. a sweetie for each of them. 2

amerly

on 15 November 2005 at 10:49

i am so happy that they are fine, I bet a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. X 0
Sweetie(s) given

dmts

on 15 November 2005 at 10:54

What a terrible, terrible thing, but how wonderful that they’re well. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Bobble

on 15 November 2005 at 10:57

All the best to the family Waffle. Go enjoy yourself now! 2
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 15 November 2005 at 12:59

Jeez waffley, that must have been shattering at the time. So, so happy for you that all’s well. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Peggy

(Homepage)

on 15 November 2005 at 13:06

This is why I find being pregnant very stressful.
Glad your story has a happy ending but it sure makes you wonder what if…

Jordana

(Homepage)

on 15 November 2005 at 13:33

Thank God! How brave you have been.

Beth

(Homepage)

on 15 November 2005 at 14:09

So glad all is well, don’t know how you kept that to yourself the whole time – such stress. Now, my French is worse than awful, I know merde and avant, but other than that I’m just the dumb american missing the punchline…

geepeemum

on 15 November 2005 at 15:04

Thanks for that. You must have had a very stressful time. 1
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 15 November 2005 at 15:08

Terrifying- I’m so happy for you all.
Luck and happiness xxx 0
Sweetie(s) given

Mark Schenk

on 15 November 2005 at 15:56

I admire your courage.

Floatykatja

on 15 November 2005 at 16:48

Crikey, Waffle – carrying twins is scary enough without that added fear at the back of your mind. Really glad to hear that it’s all turned out OK. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Knobber

on 15 November 2005 at 17:03

Reading through that was hard enough. Can’timagine what you went through. Well done to the family. 🙂 1
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 15 November 2005 at 18:47

Oh, mrs. waffle. how terrifying. truly terrifying. and so, so difficult to bear all that time. i’m so grateful you had good news. kisses to all.

negrito

on 15 November 2005 at 20:51

bravo to you and to them. Sometimes medical care is just nightmare until you get out of it. I know what you went through, ava pearl went through also.. kisses from ixelles 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 15 November 2005 at 21:29

The more medicine can tell us, the more we have to worry about. What a truly dreadful thing to have had to cope with on top of all the ‘regular’ pregnancy fears and hormones. I’m so happy for you that your boys are well.
(And this post made me well up) 2
Sweetie(s) given

menace

on 15 November 2005 at 23:49

Terrifying. In that situation, with those kind of odds, I think most of us would be better off not being tested. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 16 November 2005 at 08:48

Thank you all very much for your kind comments and sweeties. It was very miserable but now it’s over and we are so, so relieved. I spent a lot of time thinking about this post – if everything is ok, I’ll write about it on my blog, I said to myself and it helped to keep me sane. 0
Sweetie(s) given

14 November, 2005 at 11:06 am by belgianwaffle

Mrs Affable: I’m pregnant again.
Me: Oh fantastic
Mrs. Affable: But as you said to me on this very spot, that’s not the news.

We share a gynaecologist and Mrs. Affable tells me that she, the
gynaecologist, suspects all this twin pregnancy business is an Irish
thing. I’m gobsmacked, one in eighty my foot. And NO, it’s
not an IVF pregnancy.

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 14 November 2005 at 11:22

Could be.. 0
Sweetie(s) given

dmts

on 14 November 2005 at 11:28

Does she read your blog? 0
Sweetie(s) given

geepeemum

on 14 November 2005 at 12:40

Blimey. Does it just happen to everyone who knows you? Do you think it counts of you just “know” someone through the blog? I’m never getting pregnant again. 0
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 14 November 2005 at 13:02

That’s it – I’m staying well away from Belgium …. 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 14 November 2005 at 13:44

How cool! 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 14 November 2005 at 16:53

It seems that Irish have finally found a way to take over the world. Don’t let G.W. Bush hear about this!

kristin

(Homepage)

on 14 November 2005 at 17:49

well, goodness. All best to mrs. affable. Good lord. i agree with jack, it must be the waffles. (note to self, stop eating waffles, just in case).

belgianwaffle

on 15 November 2005 at 10:19

H, I’; not sure. Why do you ask?
Oh be very afraid GPM, Pog…
Well yes, Norah, I’ve already begun to dispense gratuitous advice.
FT well it’s only a start.
Kristin, it could be me, maybe you should read this blog with gloves on. 0
Sweetie(s) given

dmts

on 15 November 2005 at 10:45

Just that she may be feeling nervous after reading about dinner time chez Waffle. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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11 November, 2005 at 1:58 pm by belgianwaffle

Our evenings are hideous. Mr. Waffle and the Princess arrive home at
about 6.45. This is the cue for both
boys to wake up and be unsettled.
Princess resents their howling. We sit down to dinner at 7.00. Mr. Waffle and I have a baby each. One of us may be administering a bottle, the
other may be breastfeeding. We both try
to eat with one hand. The Princess
scatters food and cutlery and a range of toys on the floor and howls for their
retrieval. I am adept at picking up soft
toys with my feet. In the event that one
of the boys drops off to sleep, the Princess likes to bang the table with her
fork. You will recall that Mr. Waffle
and I are sleep deprived and our tolerance for fork banging is not what it once
was. Often this scene is interrupted by
the telephone ringing or, last night, the doorbell.

Picture the scene, if you will, the Princess is
sitting at the table banging her fork and surrounded by the debris of her
dinner and a number of jigsaw puzzles.
Mr. Waffle is feeding Michael and holding the bottle in place with his
chin while trying to eat with his free hand.
I am breastfeeding Daniel. The
doorbell rings a number of times. I go
to answer it with a baby clutched to my exposed person. It is our neighbours from upstairs, both of
them, come to thank us for minding their cats while they were in Istanbul (they continually taunt us with
their exotic mini-breaks). They had
kindly brought us some Turkish tea from Istanbul, so there I was standing at the
door, a baby clutched to my breast with one hand, tea in the other and making
polite conversation about the Aia Sophia.
Meanwhile in the background, Michael was wailing (having been put down
by his father), and Mr. Waffle was swearing in response to the Princess’s
ultimate, and successful, bid to gain the attention of her parents which
consisted of announcing “I did a wee in my chair”. The soft drip, drip from her chair onto the rug
confirmed that this was the case. And
still the upstairs neighbours lingered until finally I said “sorry, I’m really
going to have to go”. Note to the
childless, don’t LINGER.

On a separate note,
today, alone with 3 children has been fine so far and they’re ALL
asleep at the moment. This morning we went round to the Glam
Potter’s where we also got lunch (is there no end to the woman’s
virtue?) and now it’s only 4 hours until Mr. Waffle gets home.
Please see below, photo of caravanserai immediately before departure –
of course, we had to drive round the block to come back for the nappy
bag but all in all a very successful outing. I am so proud.

Comments

dmts

on 11 November 2005 at 14:10

We’re not lingering, we’re gloating! 0
Sweetie(s) given

Bobble

on 11 November 2005 at 14:47

Can you give me lessons should I ever find myself with twins Waffly? 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 11 November 2005 at 15:06

once again, i am forced to comment on the waffle family’s virtue, that you’re venturing forth at all is amazing.
i’m just glad mr. waffle swore when the princess wet the chair, because if he hadn’t i would have thot he was a pod-person.

negrito

on 11 November 2005 at 15:13

So cute !!!! clap clap all the Gritos clap hands !! 0
Sweetie(s) given

UndercoverCookie

on 11 November 2005 at 15:26

Waffle, you astound me. I’m not even sure it gets any easier 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 11 November 2005 at 16:24

Clearly there was an alternative set of options: Bring the buggers in; give them a grito each to hold; go make some of their Turkish tea; set the Princess some homework on her personal pc; and ask Mr W to nip round the shops to get some strong drink for later. What were you thinking, ‘waf?
[Still reckon you guys are doing an awesome job. Pee and milk and food covered but still an awesome job.] 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 11 November 2005 at 17:05

Congratulations on a successful morning. Huge admiration!
The evenings sound horrendous. If only that Gina Ford woman told the truth life would be so much easier.
You make me very happy there’s only one small person brewing in my uterus. 2
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 11 November 2005 at 18:37

I doubt Martha Stewart could do it any better, even with her legions of servants.
Tell me, does Mr Waffle do his fair share of breastfeeding?

NorahSplog

on 11 November 2005 at 19:57

All this AND blogging? 0
Sweetie(s) given

ladyjane

on 12 November 2005 at 01:16

The boys are like little rabbits. See you all on Sunday.

KateEvans

on 12 November 2005 at 07:35

Crikey. I’m with Norah. One Katelet and I can barely manage commenting, let alone posting. 1
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 14 November 2005 at 11:20

Thank you, thank you one and all. Particular gratitude to Kaye and Minks for sweeties. This morning has proved far less satisfactory since I couldn’t go to physio cos I left buggy and sling in the car which is now in husband’s workplace. Blah. 0
Sweetie(s) given

giftofthegab

on 15 November 2005 at 10:39

you ought to be sainted or knighted or SOMETHING. brilliant woman! 0
Sweetie(s) given

]]>

10 November, 2005 at 10:32 am by belgianwaffle

You may inspect the tome here.]]>

Princess and courtiers

9 November, 2005 at 2:28 pm by belgianwaffle

Please admire photo of Princess below. Note also
that in a new post baby arrival development, she chooses to be accompanied by two doggies at all times. I live in fear that we will lose one or both and all of our lives will be forfeit.

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 09 November 2005 at 15:20

UC, very likely. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Bobble

on 09 November 2005 at 15:52

Gosh, that child is cute.
(Thank you for the Sweeties Mrs Waffle) 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Minkleberry

on 09 November 2005 at 16:09

She looks very smart- like something from the pages of toddler vogue.
However, this doesn’t detract from this coming Friday. I shall fly over for the day and assist in baby carrying (though I aint doing no double feeding so don’t ask!!) xx 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

kristin

(Homepage)

on 09 November 2005 at 17:04

Could that child be any more adorable? i doubt it. ���

Diva

on 09 November 2005 at 17:21

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Bless :o) 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Friar Tuck

on 09 November 2005 at 17:45

Princess has obviously caught on to the household theme of things coming in pairs. Your whole household could be in a Wrigley Doublemint advertisement. If only you knew someone who could help you with that. ���

beachhutman

on 09 November 2005 at 17:53

Furry toy fixations go on SO long, don’t they ?
*puts bear under the desk* 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

jackdalton

on 09 November 2005 at 22:38

A very elegant and sophisticated young lady you have there,’waf. 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

poggle

on 10 November 2005 at 10:21

Carrying dogs and a book – no wonder jack admires her, ay?
(And I concur on the elegance – v chic.) 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 10 November 2005 at 10:37

Thank you one and all, you realise that I only post the cute photos not the ones where she looks like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards.
Thanks for good wishes Minks, I live in fear. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Lilo

on 11 November 2005 at 13:39

I hope it’s all going well. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 11 November 2005 at 13:53

Thanks. You too… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Kara

on 11 November 2005 at 18:35

De-lurking to ask: would you mind sharing where you found the beautiful little girl’s coat? Brand? I am 32 weeks pregnant with a little girl, and in spite of living in Las Vegas, I love classic children’s clothing and would love to know if I could find things like this coat online. Thanks!
Kara ���

belgianwaffle

on 14 November 2005 at 11:20

Hi Kara, have emailed you details.. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

]]>

9 November, 2005 at 2:08 pm by belgianwaffle

“He’s nothing but Tony Blair’s lapdog”.
“He’s a new Cromwell” Cromwell may have a great reputation as a
Parliamentarian across the water, his reputation in Ireland is, er,
less good.
“We want the Taoiseach and Mary Coughlan (Minister for Agriculture) to
stand four square behind Jacques Chirac who is defending the interests
of farmers”.

The European Commission has the negotiating mandate for trade and Mr.
Mandelson is the lucky man in the hot seat who has to try to keep his
negotiating position concealed from the other international parties
while agreeing it in detail with stroppy delegations from 25 EU member
states. Har di har, I bet he looks back fondly on the peace and
tranquility of Northern Ireland.

In other news, I gather, somewhat belatedly, that the Rose of Tralee is
not just a pretty face. She has a degree in theoretical physics –
what happened to wishing for world peace and wanting to work with children?

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 09 November 2005 at 15:21

I KNOW! 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 09 November 2005 at 17:41

I was disappointed in the Cork Rose until I realized that the best of the lot have moved to places like Belgium and Chicago.

jackdalton

on 09 November 2005 at 22:35

And her dad – Art – is an inspirational technology user & trainer. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 10 November 2005 at 10:37

Touching, FT. A wha’ Jack? 0
Sweetie(s) given

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9 November, 2005 at 2:00 pm by belgianwaffle

Me: These shoes are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do…
Her: BOOTS Mummy!

Her (holding up soft toy): What’s this Mummy?
Me: It’s a moose from Canada.
Her: Thank you Canada.

Her: What’s that on your chin Mummy?
Me: It’s a hideous spot.
Her (amending Dr. Seuss to fit the occasion): So now we have chin spots, will it ever come out? I don’t think.

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 09 November 2005 at 15:19

Terrifying prospect. 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 09 November 2005 at 18:02

Thank you Canada. I love that! 0
Sweetie(s) given

chintzybling

on 09 November 2005 at 21:32

Hehe! Thank you Canada!

Oh get the girl a blog! 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 09 November 2005 at 22:31

Yeah! And stop stealing her lines… Use your remaining brains to think up your own…. 😉 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 10 November 2005 at 10:35

Thank you Canada, good name for a girl eh?
JD, snort. 0
Sweetie(s) given

]]>

9 November, 2005 at 10:20 am by belgianwaffle

30 Today
Not me, but my little sister.  In honour of the occasion, the Princess sang happy birthday but alas the file is too large to send by email or upload to 20six so she may never see it.  Happy birthday all the same Miss.

Comments

lemonsquash

on 09 November 2005 at 10:32
(
Comment Modified) Yes, happy birthday to her indeed. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

jackdalton

on 09 November 2005 at 13:55

Where’s the Bash? 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

cha0tic

on 09 November 2005 at 14:18

Burn it to disc & pop it in the post. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 09 November 2005 at 15:20

Ta for vicarious good wishes. JD, Chicago.
Cha0tic – you’re a genius. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

]]>

8 November, 2005 at 8:08 am by belgianwaffle

My sister told one of her Chinese colleagues about the boys.
“Twin boys” she gasped “every woman in China would like to be your
sister.” 2.5 billion Chinese can’t be wrong.

I am managing to breastfeed the twins together occasionally. This
is not easy; I fail to understand how other people manage to look so serene,
mind you, I note that they do all look indecent. I told my mother and she asked
“my goodness, do you feel like a cow?”. After a pause for
reflection, I said “no, more like a pig“.

We haven’t been out much yet. Partly because Michael had to stay
indoors until the weekend before last when he hit the 3 kilo mark,
partly because of the terrifying logistics involved. Also, we
were told that they would fit in the pram bit of our 3 in 1 thingy
until they were 4 months when we could transfer to the lightweight and
fab Maclaren. That turns out to be a snare and a delusion, there
is no way that they can both fit in the pram and I am reluctant to
shell out for a double pram for 3 or 4 months. I am going to
experiment today taking one in the sling and one in the pram.
Hold your breath for me.

And finally, Mr. Waffle has pointed out to me that the twins are 6
weeks old today not yesterday. It’s hard for me to concentrate
what with staying awake listening to the snuffling noises.

Comments

NorahSplog

on 08 November 2005 at 10:56

Ditto what H said – you are quite the hero. I read this blog with ever increasing awe. Good luck on your foray out. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Bobble

on 08 November 2005 at 11:31

Sounds like you need twin arms rather than a twin buggy my dear. Hope all is well with the snufflers. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Minkleberry

on 08 November 2005 at 15:49

oh shit- you mean you stay awake and listen to those noises with the next batch? I was hoping that was a once only obsession, and that this time round I’d be sleeping peacefully through extreme crying. 0
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 08 November 2005 at 16:22

I too am in awe … 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 08 November 2005 at 19:33

You Are My Hero. Please will you marry me as well as Mr W? 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 09 November 2005 at 15:18

Ta Heather, Norah, Bobble, Pog, outing was delightfully uneventful. Even had a cup of tea. Felt very daring but did not venture to bathroom.
Minks, I fear so…
JD absolutely, extra pair of hands would be extremely useful. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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7 November, 2005 at 4:53 pm by belgianwaffle

My shampoo is made with kiwi, kumquat and
fig. What on earth is this about? Washing-up liquid is available in “red berry”
for those who are tired of traditional lemon.
Very odd.

Comments

Minkleberry

on 07 November 2005 at 19:34

oooh, I could just eat fig and kumquat. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 07 November 2005 at 21:02

‘waf: you better hide the shampoo if Minks is ever in town. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 08 November 2005 at 08:11

Knobber, Minks, were you two in the focus group?
JD, quite. 0
Sweetie(s) given

NorahSplog

on 08 November 2005 at 11:04

I once worked with a chef who was terrified of kumquats. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Diva

on 08 November 2005 at 13:09

The chef terrified of kumquats? That could work to your advantage:
“Give me a raise or you’ll find less than a tangerine in your locker later”
Simple and effective :o) 0
Sweetie(s) given

UndercoverCookie

on 08 November 2005 at 14:45

well they started off by just putting vitamins in shampoo, making the bathroom the most nutritionally dense part of the house for some people. Now they’ve decided just to put a whole smoothie into the shampoo.
It’s all meant to seduce you. They don’t have Asparagus and Sprout Shampoo or Turnip and Cauliflower Conditioner. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 08 November 2005 at 16:50

I think it was an Italian comedian who pointed out the irony that his lemonade was made with artificial flavour, but his floor wax was made with real lemons.

belgianwaffle

on 09 November 2005 at 15:14

Norah, I almost believe you. Diva, I like that.
UC, yum yum, turnip and cauliflower.
FT, excellent. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Early Days

7 November, 2005 at 2:38 pm by belgianwaffle

Since the arrival of the boys, the Princess likes to hear stories about when she was small(er) and while her grandparents were over, I told her the story of grandad’s lost underpants which I have previously blogged about but which I repeat below for your delectation:

My father-in-law, the captain of industry, resorted to handwashing. However, my mother-in-law determined that the capt’s clothes would never dry in the shower and put them on the balcony, from whence “a garment” drifted down into the private area of the guesthouse. A couple of days later I was witness to the exquisitely embarrassing moment when the lady of the house asked my poor mortified father-in-law whether the garment she was holding between outstretched finger and thumb belonged to him.

The Princess liked the story and now, regularly, when I put her to bed she says, “Tell me the story of grandad’s underpants again.”

By the by, I have found a pair of black men’s underpants nestling under the heater in the spare room. I wonder whose they are?

In other news, the boys are six weeks old today. The books tell us that we may confidently expect smiles from now on. I suspect that Faith and G are much more likely to get first smiles as they tend to gaze at the boys lovingly while feeding them while their nearest and dearest tend to read the papers. Oh have a heart, we’re still knee deep in newsprint from the parent-in-law visit and somebody has to read all those Guardians.

Example of dialogue with husband:
Me: Whenever I see you with one of the babies, I’m reminded of that bit from Hilary Clinton’s autobiography (which we listened to on tape while on holiday one Summer, NOT recommended, hugely tedious).
Him: The bit where she talks about the cold meat selection at Nelson Mandela’s inauguration?
Me: No.
Him: The bit where they fill the swimming pool in India with mineral water for her?
Me: NO.
Him:Oh alright the bit where Chelsea bites Bill on the nose to try to get his attention.

Comments

giftofthegab

on 07 November 2005 at 17:23
how do you know the pants belong to a black man? oh wait, i see. i’m also agog. happy 6 weeks!

jackdalton

on 07 November 2005 at 21:06
Probably Locote’s…

belgianwaffle

on 08 November 2005 at 08:10
Minks, er, it’s not 6 weeks, clearly my focus isn’t all it might be.
GoG, very funny, maybe my syntax does need some work though…
JD, I beg your pardon??

4 November, 2005 at 9:31 am by belgianwaffle

Efforts to make me the kind of person you could safely introduce to polite society continue apace. When I say anything
untoward, the Princess says “don’t say (insert appropriate swear word)
Mummy”. She seems to recognise the words
from the tone in which I say them and usually she’s right though the other day
she said “don’t say believe me Mummy” and I was able to reassure her that that
was entirely kosher. At breakfast with
her grandparents, while they were visiting, I was foolish enough to say “shag
it”.

“Don’t say shag it Mummy”

“What else can’t Mummy say?” asked an agent
provocateur and to my absolute horror my daughter proceeded as follows:

Don’t say damn it Mummy

Don’t say fuck it Mummy

Don’t say feck it Mummy

Don’t say God Almighty Mummy

Don’t say Sweet Jesus Mummy

And was only shut up by being bundled from the
table by her mortified mother.

Comments

Bobble

on 04 November 2005 at 09:56

I think a career in the government beckons. Remind me if I have children to bring them up on the ‘Waffle Model’. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Locotes

on 04 November 2005 at 12:34

It appears Mummy swears quite a lot. And with some hefty variety too. Well, you have two new brains to mould to your swearing ways now… 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 04 November 2005 at 16:59

Wow. i agree with Locotes, that is some variety. The othr day my little almost-3-year-old said, with startlingly adult weariness and intonation, “Oh, dear GOD, what next?” and proceeded to throw her dollie across the room. Just a parenting note, i don’t toss ~her~ when i say it.

Friar Tuck

on 04 November 2005 at 18:37

Brilliant! But surely she must have had some parental guidance on which words mummy should not say?

beachhutman

on 04 November 2005 at 19:33

When my girl was very young and I’d take her to the swings, she had a squeal, very loud, calling for another shove. Unfortunately it sounded a hell of a lot like “Fuck”, and I collected a LOT of stares! 0
Sweetie(s) given

poggle

on 05 November 2005 at 07:55

My nephew (then 3) was playing with his new train set – one of those lovely wooden ones that uses magnets to connect the carriages after a hefty Christmas lunch. As the carriages were pulled over a humpbacked bridge, the rear ones gave up and rolled back down the track. He kneeled up, put his chubby fists on his hips and intoned: “Well, fuck me!”.
Cue various adults purple-faced and weeping trying to stifle their mirth and my sister silently mouthing other obscenities at her partner – the guilty party. 0
Sweetie(s) given

jackdalton

on 05 November 2005 at 12:00

You should see the impact that “Where’s my fookin spoon?” can have on a restaurant until it becomes clear that the young lady in question is actually asking her (inexperienced)babysitter for a fork and spoon. 0
Sweetie(s) given

ladyjane

on 05 November 2005 at 15:49

Is “shag it” a Limerick thing do you think?

Kate_Sith

on 07 November 2005 at 10:46

My sister dropped something and in an attempt to stop swearing quite so much in front of her children said ‘Oh shhh-ugar’ to which the response from her 3 year old was ‘Why did you just nearly say shit, mummy?’ 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 07 November 2005 at 14:45

Oooh, I do like all the other swearing stories. Thank you people. Ladyjane, think shag it is nationwide but prepared to hear arguments for Limerick. 0
Sweetie(s) given

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Royal visit

3 November, 2005 at 9:33 pm by belgianwaffle

The royal grandparents aside from allowing their sick daughter in law to sleep also bonded with their grandchildren and brought them mountains of presents. The Princess was delighted to have them here and the boys were fed (which is really the height of their demands at the moment).  I did feel mildly guilty at one stage as grandma went off to the park with her crutch, the Princess and her buggy but I’’m a catholic, we have strategies for dealing with guilt.

I am gratified that my parents-in-law seem to enjoy my blog (hi guys). My father in
law, the captain of industy, pointed out that I don’t seem to update when we have
people staying. I said “well, I suppose that I’m busy doing other things”. “Yes”, said he “I notice that you didn’’t blog at all while your mother was over”.  “Well, that might have been because I was in the hospital after having given birth”.

Comments
Friar Tuck

on 04 November 2005 at 03:41

He’s a captain of industry! You cannot expect him to be acquainted with all the technicalities of childbirth. Anyway, don’t they have wireless laptops or something for you to use in the hospital? Seems a colossal waste of time just lying around doing nothing.
Push. Breathe. Type. Repeat.

belgianwaffle

on 04 November 2005 at 09:28

OK, check out the gentlemen’s comments. May you both be reincarnated as mothers of twins.

poggle

on 05 November 2005 at 07:46

Those boys have always been tempted by the dark side, waffley – especially that Friar …
on 05 November 2005 at 12:11

But there is a great power there that can bring balance to The Force

belgianwaffle

Pog, now look what you’ve started. Jack, stop it.

poggle

Sorry waffley – I should’ve known … Tch. Boys.

belgianwaffle

Indeed you should, I hope that there will be no more in this vein from the lads but I sincerely doubt it.

Sick

3 November, 2005 at 12:45 pm by belgianwaffle

All last week I had a sore throat but Friday to Tuesday it got really miserable and I couldn’t swallow. Mercifully, the parents-in-law were here to baby mind and I was able to nap during the day but I hadn’t really expected to spend most of their stay languishing in bed. Nights were particularly miserable and, at least once every night, I found myself standing at the microwave (heating a bottle), weeping (the pain, the exhaustion) and drooling (the inability to swallow) and hearing the boys wailing in the background. All is much better now though, however, if you subscribe to any religion please beg your gods to ensure that it is not passed on to any of my many children.

Incidentally, I stocked up on a number of over the counter remedies to try to address my symptoms, most of which were useless but especially useless was a throat spray rejoicing in the name of “Neogolaseptine®”. You can see, of course, why they decided on this as a registered trademark. It’s a name to conjure with really. In my mind’s
eye, I see them all brainstorming “what kind of name can we use which will inspire consumers with confidence, give them a clear idea what the product does and stick in their memories?” They must all have been delighted when they came up with Neogolaseptine.

Comments
NorahSplog

on 03 November 2005 at 15:25

Poor Waffly. All sympathies. I’m revoltingly throaty and snotty too. But I don’t have three small children. Did I mention that you get all the sympathy?

Minkleberry

on 03 November 2005 at 15:31

Ouch! poor you- that sounds truly miserable. Not to mention the Neogolaseptine… 2
Sweetie(s) given

(Homepage)

on 03 November 2005 at 19:13

Thanks be that you’re back. I was afraid you were ill, after all that regular posting, and then NOTHING. Either that or that you had hired yet more help and were on a marathon bout of shoe shopping. Feel better!

belgianwaffle

on 03 November 2005 at 21:27

Lauren, like my daughter, I occasionally have difficulties stringing English sentences together.
Norah, you are kind and good. As are you Minks.
Kristin, I am touched by your concern and much better.

Gosh, just noticed the sweeties. Thanks guys.
UndercoverCookie

neogola sounds like near-goal, like they were watching a footie match and it came to them what to call it.

belgianwaffle

Really, that’s as likely an explanation as any.


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