We went swimming with the family on Saturday. All the children love the pool but the boys are very reluctant to leave. We had to wrestle them out and carry them screaming to the family changing room. We attempted to get dry, stay dry, get changed, change nappies and dress children, find liga and wring out togs in the narrow confines of the changing room.

Mr. Waffle: Stay on the towel or you will get wet.
Daniel: Wet, wet!
Michael: Bottle.
Me: One minute, one minute, hand me a nappy there please. Princess (holding up bag of silica gel that came with her new goggles): What is this for?
Me: Michael, stop that.  Stop it, now! Um, it’s to keep the inside of the googles packet dry.
Princess: Why?
Mr. Waffle: Michael get your socks out of the puddle.
Me: Where are Daniel’s shoes?
Princess: But why?  Why does it need to be kept dry?
Me: I’m not sure, sweetheart.
Daniel: Sock, wet.
Princess: But how does it work?
Me: Not really sure, sweetheart.
Daniel: Two sock wet.
Michael (howling): Daniel bold.
Daniel (clutching head): Michael bold.
Mr. Waffle (through gritted teeth): Where is that boy’s bottle?
Princess: Mummy, I don’t think I believe in God.