Bobble opened her eyes slowly. The hooded figure hovered over her but it seemed less menacing, somehow. It was also offering a cup of tea.
“I put in lots of sugar, for the shock” it said in a helpful voice.
“But, you oozed, you were a budget cutter, the Princess, LJS is coming round, Norah…”
“Now, now” said Friar Tuck kindly, for it was he, “you’ve had a bit of a shock. To be honest, we all have, Mr. Waffle was left in charge and things went a bit funny, but it’s alright now. Also, you might like to know that I’ve put on some hand cream.”
Bobble shook her head in bafflement and drank her tea. Suddenly she heard the sound of someone running up the stairs. It was Norah.
“Honestly, Bobble, you are a useless chump” she sighed in exasperation. Seeing the hooded figure she added “oh, hello Tuckers, I didn’t realise you were there, I thought you and Heather had fallen out”.
Friar Tuck drew himself up to his full height “her people and my people have been in touch and we are hammering out some kind of deal”.
“That’s nice” said Norah absently “by the by, how’s the psoriasis?”
Friar Tuck held out a scaly hand and smiled mournfully. “Well,” said Norah prosaically, “what do you expect on the NHS?”
“Anyway,” said Norah, “I can’t hang about, LJS is coming round and I have to get Waffle and Heather”.
“Oh” said Friar Tuck “so this is what this is all about” and he laughed loud and long and the sound echoed round the Schloss. In the drawing room Heather pulled her diaphanous wrap more closely round her pretty shoulders and shivered.
***Author’s note: So this is why it was all Pam’s dream in “Dallas”. The scriptwriter went on a short holiday and found one of the main characters had been eliminated. If you don’t get this reference, it’s not my fault that you are a mere babe in arms and too young to remember when Bobby was shot.
on 04 December 2004 at 20:08
“chump”? Ooh I’ve come over all Malory Towers! 1
on 04 December 2004 at 20:21
oh we’re hammering out a deal are we? I need to speak to my people.
on 05 December 2004 at 12:34
And I can just whistle in the wings or whatever while this pyrotechnical blytonesque love-in goes on? Typical. Personally I thought Mr Waffle’s contribution was the most wothwhile to date in this moving tale of hope and gory.
Not it’s gone all bloody pink and smiley again….
on 05 December 2004 at 15:08
Yes, FT, good news. Norah, well spotted, I felt a bit Enid Blytony…and a sweetie too, you are kind. HJB, well only if you want to, of course. LJS, excuse me, LJS, you’re FICTIONAL.
on 05 December 2004 at 15:10
Bobby Ewing? Pam? Oh yes, I remember my Mum telling me about that …
on 05 December 2004 at 15:13
Pog, clearly your mother was a child bride..
on 05 December 2004 at 21:32
Don’t worry Heather. Whenever there’s a deal being hammered out, I usually wind up being the nail!
on 06 December 2004 at 13:08
Of course she was waffle.
on 13 December 2004 at 20:53