Daniel: Mummy are we vegetarians?
Me: No, sweetie we eat meat.
Daniel: No, no, veg-et-tar-ians.
Me (moment of inspiration): Sagittarius?
Daniel: Yes!
Me: No.
Boys
Cooking with Children
The other day I made ginger nuts with the children. This is a very easy and, hitherto, failsafe recipe.
Because our kitchen is somewhat smaller than your kitchen table, I brought the bowls and ingredients into the other room and sat the children around the table to weigh them out. I left Daniel creaming in the butter while I went into the kitchen to get the golden syrup.
The texture was a bit odd when I added the golden syrup but I chucked the biscuits into the oven happily enough. That evening when my brother came around, I offered him one, “Are they undercooked or something?” he asked. I tried one myself, they were utterly vile.
Close cross-questioning of the children revealed that Daniel had eaten the butter.
I See Dead People
The Town Mouse delegation, being tourists, had been to visit the National Museum and spoke animatedly, if not enthusiastically, about the bog bodies. I think the words TM used were, “Someone should give those bodies a decent burial.”
Not having set foot inside the door of the National Museum since 2008, I decided it was time to bring the children to investigate. I keyed them up the night before, I made popcorn and gave it to them sitting on steps adjacent to the Masonic Hall before going in so that they would not be hungry. We passed through the shop safely and saw two bog bodies which were holding everyone’s interest nicely before Daniel announced that he needed to go to the toilet. This inevitably involved passing the cafe and after that, all was doom and gloom. Michael wept for crisps and did not stop until we got back to the car. The nice Garda who tried to cheer him up was treated with tears for her pains. The Princess ran off twice in a huff.
Culture is very tiring, I find.
Raise your Game
Michael: The battery on my solar powered lamp needs to be charged.
Me: Well, we’ll put it out in the sun.
Michael: Put it out in the sun, NOW.
Me: Sweetheart, it’s night time, the sun doesn’t shine at night.
Michael (imperiously): Make the sun shine at night!
Proud Moment
Childminder: She wanted to walk home from school rather than take the bus, so she jollied the boys along and we did it.
Me (awed): How long did it take?
Childminder: About 45 minutes.
Michael: Yes, and I’m sore at my leg.
Childminder: She made it a game for the boys.
Michael: And then she threatened to take away my bunny, if I didn’t keep walking.
Princess: Snort.
Me: Well done, sweetheart.
Her: I led the way.
Me: Good for you, how did you come?
Her: The opposite way from how we drive to school..you know we kept walking straight and then turned right by the “video’s, pool, games” shop where the apostrophe is improperly used, then….
Birthday Disappointment
Michael: Am I five today?
Me: Yes you are! Happy birthday.
Michael: Get me a book, please.
Me: This one?
Him: Yes. [He leafs through the pages] Mummy, I can’t read.
Me: Um, yes, I know, but you will be able to…
Him: Mummy, I’m 5, you said I would be able to read when I’m 5.