Last night we put the boys to bed at 7.00 and the pair of us alternately and together rocked them and soothed them until 10.20 when we gave up the ghost. Neither of them had slept for more than a few minutes and all four of us were exhausted. We decided to let them cry it out. Michael cried for 20 minutes and then stopped. Daniel cried lustily for a full 45 minutes. At 11.05 all was silent. It is very miserable to listen to your children cry and not to do anything about it. And then, I was cruelly awoken at 11.23 by the sound of howling. I suppose that we will look back at this some day and laugh. Hollowly.
Comments
on 26 February 2006 at 16:18
oh poor mr and mrs waffle. i ~do~ sympathise. (see, i’m even doing it non-american style.)
xo
Have you considered an exorcism? Perhaps this kind can only be driven out by prayer.
They say I cried a lot as a child. I only found out years later that I was plied with whiskey and milk on such occasions. All a bit Pavlovian, I?d say… 🙂
belgianwaffleon 27 February 2006 at 13:05
Mike, that is such a lovely idea. I would pretty much pay anything for borrowed sleep.
Kristin, am touched and spelling variation too.
FT, I like that.
JD, is that illegal now? I suppose no one would have to know..
I’d go for whiskey and an exorcism – you may even want to try witchcraft too.
DMTS, perhaps the nightmare is ending. No howling so far tonight.
Sleeping
The no sleep regime continues unabated. Daniel is like a briar. I suppose Michael has never really slept at night, so heÂ’’s used to it, but Daniel is finding the regular waking every bit as trying as his parents.
Today, I decided to go out and buy various things. Just to get out in the car where, I hoped, my cranky Daniel would sleep. I have just moved them to a double buggy which is wonderful etc. but despite being, you would think, an old hand at buggy folding and unfolding, I have found it just a tad challenging. This morning, I had the two boys sitting in their car seats in the hall and I tried to fold the buggy to get it into the car. No joy. Then discovered that the sling had become enmeshed with it and began trying to wrestle it out. Michael gurgled mirthfully at the sight of his mother becoming flushed and unhappy. Daniel began to howl. That boy can howl. I dislodged the sling and discovered that because the seats were still reclining when I tried to fold the wretched thing, that it was stuck half open, half closed. I wrestled some more. Daniel howled some more. The people who work in an office on the ground floor tried to ignore us. I gave a muffled howl of frustration. Daniel didn’Â’t bother muffling his howls. I stamped my foot. Still, the wretched thing wouldnÂ’’t yield. I put screaming Daniel in the garage where he screamed some more; Michael was enjoying the show so much that I let him stay put. I eventually managed to reopen the buggy but I fear that its canopy is fatally injured.
Did young Daniel fall asleep in the car? No he did not. As I type he sits gurgling in my lap looking as though butter wouldnÂ’t melt in his mouth.
Meanwhile, saintly Michael sleeps.
Comments
Lilo
on 24 February 2006 at 19:58 Having read this and your other sleep post I must say how impressed I am about how sane you’re sounding. We introduced the baby girl into the little boy’s room earlier this week, despite complaining of headaches when she cries and a bed-wetting incident which resulted in the little boy coming in to sleep with us, things seem to be going fairly smoothly. I’m only getting up 3 times a night now instead of every 2 hours – sorry this must sound like a luxury to you, but I’m sure things will smooth themselves out soon
kristin
on 25 February 2006 at 21:18
why is it that the stroller only malfunctions during moments of stress, like trying to board a plane or pack the munchkins into the car? the stroller gods are evil, methinks.
belgianwaffle
on 27 February 2006 at 13:02
FT, um, probably…
Lilo, I dunno, I am slightly despairing.
Kristin, the stroller gods are evil and cruel.
Minkleberry
on 27 February 2006 at 16:11
I hate it when people offer useless advice when you’re quite literally at the end of your tether- however, the end of my tether was what prompted me to read http://www.babywhisperer.com/ No crying out necessary xxx
belgianwaffle
on 02 March 2006 at 22:01
Minks, thanks for the sweeties and the advice…in fact, I don’t want to tempt fate here, but tonight they went straight to sleep at 7.30 and here I am (most foolishly) still up at 11.00 and not a peep out of them.
We have
determined that the boys can no longer sleep in our bed. We have re-read Gina. We have re-read “The no-cry sleep solution”. Rather pathetically, in the latter, I see that my notes on the Princess’s sleeping patterns at 10 months old are still there.� You will
remember that she finally started to sleep through the night at 2.� I
prefer the gentle approach, which is just as well because crying it out is not
a huge option in a three bed appartment with three small children.� Mind
you, on Friday night, I was absolutely exhausted and Mr. Waffle nobly
volunteered to mind the boys.� At 1.00 in the morning, I got up to see
what was happening to discover that he had got Daniel to sleep in his cot
(good); Mr. Waffle had given up the struggle with Michael and he was howling
himself to sleep in the kitchen (bad); and Mr. Waffle was doing some work
because there was no other time to do it (even worse).� Last night, I genuinely don’t think that I
slept for more than half an hour at a stretch. �We put them to bed at 7.00.� I fed them alternately and together until
ten, when I took a break to wash my teeth, ablute and prepare for bed. �I then stayed with them until 3.00, rising
every half hour to sooth one or other of them back to sleep in his cot. �Went into Mr. Waffle exhausted and he stayed
with them until 4.30 when I went back on shift and they continued the waking every
half hour thing until 7.30 when we all gave up the struggle. �By the time 7.00 rolled round this evening they
were exhausted and straight after dinner, amid much wailing, I bathed them and then
fed them and then put them to bed about 7.45. �As of now, they have therefore been asleep for
35 continuous minutes.� Both of them, at
the same time. �Which is more than they
did at any stage last night. �I feel
myself indulging in, probably groundless, optimism.
on 20 February 2006 at 20:17
oh…. **hugs**
I’m not going to offer advice because thatcan be just annoying. Instead I’m sending good sleep vibes from across the globe. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
on 21 February 2006 at 06:40
I would have resorted to gin well before this stage – for everyone. Like Minks, I can’t imagine how you are feeling – take care. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
on 21 February 2006 at 07:54
I hope our optimising is well founded Waffly. I also hope when they’re, say six, they will be performing all sorts of household tasks for you. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
on 21 February 2006 at 09:02
Thank you all very much. 2 sweeties as well, cool! Last night was much less grim but mostly because I was too tired to keep putting them back in their cots and they slept with us which is, of course, where they firmly believe that they belong. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
on 21 February 2006 at 10:49
Jebus -and you’re contemplating going back to work? I was grumpy enough with just the one howling cat the other night … 2
Sweetie(s) given ���
(Homepage)
on 21 February 2006 at 15:11
We’re having the same issue with our little one . . . and we can’t bear to let her cry (it has dubious success, at any rate). Occasionally, my resolve firms up and I say, “Tonight we shall be strong and let her cry!” But a few minutes of tears and I’m willing to let her sleep in our bed till she’s 13.
Of course, by then, she wouldn’t be caught dead in our bed. ���
on 21 February 2006 at 16:23
Blimey, I don’t even have kids and I’m in total awe.
This goes to you and Mr Waffle: 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
(Homepage)
on 21 February 2006 at 18:32
all i have to say about this is Dear God.
And to add that i’ve read the no-cry sleep solution, which ended up with the child sleeping with one of us. which she still does. poster-child for cry it out, i’m not. but dammit, we all sleep now.
and thanks for your kind note about the cactus. i had nothing to do with it, if i had it would be nothing but a brown stump. ���
on 21 February 2006 at 21:09
well, a ‘child rearing expert’ on telly today explained that children around the world sleep with their parents quite happily and its good for them. Both mine do and have slept in our bed. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
(Homepage)
on 22 February 2006 at 18:45
Sometimes I read your blog out to Mr S and we both smile nervously at each other. ���
on 27 February 2006 at 12:59
Pog, ta for sweeties. Yes, back to work or escape as it’s known round here.
Jordana, thank you for sympathy. Obviously, I know precisely how you feel.
Jojo, come back, we miss you. Or at least set up somewhere else…
Diva, a megal (as herself would say), how kind.
KE, truly? Is your child sleeping through the night. If yes, please don’t tell me.
Kristin, you all sleep. I am so envious. Of that and your cactus.
Minks, yes, but we need a bigger bed.
Norah, I wouldn’t be smiling at all if I were you…evil cackle. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���
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A Reading from the Book of Job
“Does not man have hard service on earth? Are not his days like those of a hired man? Like a slave longing for the evening shadows, or a hired man waiting eagerly for his wages, so I have been allotted months of futility, and nights of misery have been assigned to me. When I lie down I think, ‘How long before I get
up? The night drags on, and I toss till dawn.’
Job had twins, who knew? Yes, I know I am very lucky. Really. But last night I was at my wits’ end. Poor old
Daniel has a cold and he howled. And he woke Michael and when he got back to sleep, Michael woke him. And I didn’t sleep at all. And nor did my poor husband. And today I am like a zombie and I have two cross babies on my hands and one sick one. And school ends at 3.00.
And in other religious news, my daughter is fascinated by the story of Samson and Delilah. For this, I hold Tom Jones entirely responsible. Our poor daughter is subjected to a barrage of schlocky songs sung by her loving parents. If she bumps herself she sings “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m sorry that I made you cry, I
didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m just a jealous guy..”. When dancing she accompanies herself with “I’m in the mood for dancing, romancing…”. When wearing her boots “These boots are made for
walking…are you ready boots?” You get the picture here. When she wails, I try to jolly her out of it by singing “Aie, aie, aie Delilah”. They love it in the supermarket. Anyhow, the other day, she asked me “What’s Delilah, Mummy?”. “Not what darling, who?” And I told her the story, leaving out about Samson being blinded (she is only 2 and 3/4) but including how he brought down a building with his bare hands and crushed his enemies. God, she loves it and I am exhausted from recounting it. I shudder to think what will happen when she finds out about the plagues visited on the Eygptians.
Bobble
on 13 February 2006 at 14:48
There is something about being Irish and religion, a TV programme, can’t quite remember it at present…
Anyway, showing such an interest can only make you feel less guilty about sending princess to Sunday School and the free hours you will gain from it.
Friar Tuck
on 14 February 2006 at 03:59
Good thing the story of Susanna isn’t read on Sundays!
geepeemum
on 14 February 2006 at 10:07
We were reading Samson and Delilah to our 2 the other day, albeit a slightly sanitised version, and I said to my other half – “So is Samson the prototype suicide bomber and should we really be reading this to our children?” Not sure what messages it sends really!
Kate_Sith
on 15 February 2006 at 09:48
Murrain! Frogs! er… the Darkness! The plagues ROCK.
belgianwaffle
on 15 February 2006 at 12:54
Gosh, you lot are a bundle of joy. Bobble, you should know, catholics don’t do Sunday school. That’s protestants, they actually know their bible.
Outing
Two of the women who attended the celebrations had been to a speed dating event earlier in the week. What was it like? “There was a slightly older man who asked me whether I liked dogs. I said yes and he said ‘that’s good as I come as a package with a three legged labrador'”.
Given that it was one of my very rare nights out, I got rather dressed up* and the Princess was fascinated by this vision of her mother. “I like your lips Mummy and your dress and your boots”. It was very gratifying. Though I wouldn’t have bothered with the boots, if I’d known that there would be a forced march from the restaurant back to where our cars were parked.
This was the longest stretch of time I have been away from the twins since they were born. You will, I know, be fascinated to hear that my breasts visibly grew over dinner and that when I came home I expressed 500mls of milk (over a pint for imperial readers).
*Quote from another mother of three (supplied by my friend D) is very appropriate here, when asked whether she ever got out this woman said “yes, occasionally…to the clothesline”
Comments
Friar Tuck
on 12 February 2006 at 03:09
Hmmm, a three-legged labrador. Oh well, as long as he wasn’t three-legged I suppose.
Glad you could get out somewhere other than the clothesline.
dmts
on 12 February 2006 at 11:20
And in the other jungle at least I have bloglines to tell me of your updating, Are you allowed to have clothes lines in Belgium? There are very few in Switzerland….but then mothers get to go out to do the shopping here
Berry
on 12 February 2006 at 13:27
Oohh, a night out. Good for you. Sounds like you had great time.
And like Heidi said- a pint? Impressive.
Minkleberry
on 12 February 2006 at 20:12
A pint! jeepers, that’d fetch a few pence on ebay
kristin
on 13 February 2006 at 02:09
oh, waffley, glad you got out. i’ve missed you, i’lve been at disneyland with my little one and had no internet. i was crawling the walls, i tell you.
belgianwaffle
on 15 February 2006 at 12:53
A FEW PENCE Minks, surely more than that? The rest of you are very kind!
Unhelpful TV Viewing Habits
On a completely separate note, I have been watching Supernanny on the telly. She has dealt with stressed out parents of twins for three weeks in a row. My favourite quotes “I wouldn’t wish twins on my worst enemy” and, from a mother when asked by Supernanny whether she got any “me time”, “I go to my mother of twins group once a month”. Oh good God. The publishing exec (who is now an editor -ta da!- send your unpublished manuscripts here) is responsible for Supernanny the book, so I am the proud possessor of a free copy which I could use to follow up the useful lessons learnt from the telly, but, realistically, I fear that there is no hope.
geepeemum
on 08 February 2006 at 15:23
Just goes to show how different YOUR twins are from all the other sets. One of my friends swears she is going to write a book on parenting twins becasue she says that books are always really negative about it and she has really enjoyed having hers. She has had a 10 year gap since her last child. And she does appear to have twins who sleep 12 hours a night since about 3 days old… I know but she had a bad time with her 1st 2 children so she deserves a break… And anyway who’d want their worst enemy to have such a fab experience as you’ll end up having as they all grow up together?!
kristin
(Homepage)
on 08 February 2006 at 16:34
i am not a little embarrassed to admit that in a moment of tipsy desperation i sent in our particulars to ABC seeking Supernanny’s assistance. Somehow, tho, i don’t think our painfully shy little one will make good tv. (Edited to add that she’s only painfully shy in front of strangers. When she’s at home she’s a raving lunatic.)
Friar Tuck
on 08 February 2006 at 17:25
Uh, it seems to me that the only thing that will come from your watching Supernanny is a guilt trip. I think you’ve already got one of those; you’re Irish, aren’t you? That would be like me watching the Lives of the Saints channel (thank God it doesn’t exist!). I bet you could teach Supernanny a thing or two! I highly recommend watching Project Runway. Everyone can feel good after watching that.
Minkleberry
on 08 February 2006 at 19:27
Supernanny is a crazed dictator so my nursery nurse sister claims. I’m totally obsessed with the House of Tiny Tearaways. Tanya Byron rocks, and Jimi’s got a huge crush on her.
Bobble (Homepage)
on 08 February 2006 at 22:38
There is always Lives of the Saints on TV in Italy, never fear.
poggle
on 09 February 2006 at 14:38
Supernanny gets to go home at the end of the day. So she gets a good night’s sleep. See?
belgianwaffle
on 15 February 2006 at 12:52
Ooh this is all very interesting. Kristin, I think you were a bit optimistic – your home life is really not hideous enough to justify supernanny…