Since we got back from holidays, I’Â’ve spent a lot of time at home communing with my couch. Saintly Mr. Waffle has taken the Princess in and out to the creche. This is a bit stressful for him because it means that his working hours are somewhat curtailed. Friday morning was particularly trying. He couldnÂ’’t sleep and arose at 5.15 to do some work (I know, extraordinary and somewhat alarming dedication). Madam woke at 7.15. Following a lengthy breakfast, some story reading, a little drawing, some dancing and some running around the house to get her dressed, she and Mr. Waffle finally left for the creche at 9.00. I thought that he was going to have a heart attack. I may have mentioned that I am married to the only punctual Irish man and he really HATES being late for work. I heaved a sigh of relief. Two minutes later, an upset husband and a serene toddler re-entered the premises. Apparently, no sooner had she sat into the car than she announced “I want to do a poo”. I sat her on the pot with some trepidation; if she doesn’Â’t produce this poo, we could all die horribly. You will be delighted to hear that all was well and at 9.15, a mere four hours after getting up, my loving spouse was able to depart for work.
Princess
Juliette
She’s not as fond of Juliette as she is of T’choupi, the world’s dullest mole, but she is moderately fond. We possess 3* of these works and they are very true to life. Just a little bit too true to life. Let me give you some examples.
Juliette goes shopping.
She pesters her mother to buy chocolate cornflakes because she’s seen on the telly that there’s a present inside. She demands that her mother buys ice cream.
Juliette on the Farm
She sees piglets being fed by their mother (go on, you try to explain to a two year old what’s going on here). She watches the farmer attaching the milking machine to a cow (again a difficult one to explain – surely milk comes from cartons) while the cow flicks away flies with her tail. Juliette is warned to stand well back in case the cow poos on her.
Juliette has a little Brother (purchased for propaganda purposes)
Juliette wees all over the floor because no one is paying her any attention. This is clearly illustrated so even if one doesn’t read the accompanying text, it is quite apparent what is going on here.
I see that there is an offering entitled “Juliette celebrates Christmas” available in the series. Doubtless this is where young readers are told that there is no Santa Claus.
*Updated to add – as of May 2007 we appear to have about 16 Juliettes all with that delightfully honest take on the life of a small child.
on 16 September 2005 at 15:08
Chintzy, I’m appalled.
Jojo, you and me both, frankly, I’m amazed that there is other news available though I enjoyed your link to Brittany and Kevin’s site very much…
on 16 September 2005 at 15:55
I’m hoping to see a similar broadcast here some time soon (don’t forget the virtual baloons now will you?)
(Homepage)
on 16 September 2005 at 21:52
Weeing on the floor? Is this book trying to give the children ideas?
on 16 September 2005 at 22:42
(
Comment Modified) If you want to see real kiddy-read mayhem, look no further than Katie Morag Delivers the Mail. Or in fact any Katie Morag story. Priceless 🙂
on 19 September 2005 at 09:59
Jojo, am even now investigating the technology for same.
SJ, yes.
JD, no more mayhem please.
Pregnancy Woes
With apologies to Dorothy Parker and her estate.
Three be the things I am wiser to know:
Antenatal classes, proper diet and the myth of a pregnancy glow
Four be the things I’d been better without:
Swollen ankles, vomiting, heartburn and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Stylish clothes, a tiny bump and insufficient pain.
Three be the things I shall have till I deliver:
Anaemia, diabetes and worries about problems upriver.
Yes, I know it doesn’t scan. Poetry writing is harder than you might imagine.
And may I use this opportunity to announce that my sister-in-law has joined the ranks of the pregnant. Fantastic, the Princess will have a cousin in February. Yes, I’m sure that they think of it in those terms also; why do you ask? Anyhow, much rejoicing and excitement
on 09 September 2005 at 13:11
Thank you. You are most kind, I will save the sweeties for when I can eat them again..
on 09 September 2005 at 21:25
That’s very good. Are you not glowing though? I’ve been aglow for six months now and just assumed that, with twins, one would be doubly incandescent.
Friar Tuck
on 12 September 2005 at 02:58
At least your pome rimes. I don’t take to them pomes what don’t rime.
And you’re wrong about it not scanning. I scanned it this evening, and it worked perfectly.
on 12 September 2005 at 09:23
Um, no KE, I am pale and wan. The sedge has withered from the lake and no birds sing (this poetry stuff gets really addictive).
You are v. generous JD.
FT, you’ve been away. Welcome back.
Sorrowful
Her: I was sad Mummy. I cried.
Me: Oh dear sweetie, why were you sad?
Her: I wanted you and you wasn’t there.
Me: Oh sweetheart, I’m very sorry.
Her: Veronique (woman at creche) gave me a hug but I was still sad and I wanted you.
I was gutted.
Yesterday on the telephone to her grandma:
Her: I was sad Grandma. I cried at the creche.
Grandma: Oh dear, why were you sad?
Her: I wanted you and you was in Dublin.
Grandma: Oh dear
Her (in tones of deep reproach): I was SAD and you wasn’t there.
Me: Hang on a minute here…
on 07 September 2005 at 10:41
She’s getting better and better at this – reminds me of the ‘I want Daddy/Mummy’ bedtime scenario a while back.
Hee hee.
on 07 September 2005 at 13:16
Clever girl! She’ll go far.
Re: the imminent arrivals – hope you are bearing up Ok mum
Thanks Sus, Pog, I think.
Bit fed up Jojo, but, you know, fine, thanks.
Requires Medical Attention
Me: Yes, sweetheart.
Princess: Your doctor is a woman.
Me: Well, my main doctor is a woman, yes.
Princess: How many doctors have you got, Mummy?
Me (following a quick tot of the number of doctors I have seen during this pregnancy): 8.
Princess: God, Mummy, that’s a lot of doctors.
Comments
jackdalton
on 03 September 2005 at 23:36
>That’s only two and a bit each…. it isn’t that much really. 😐
[But full marks to the princess for her Corkistic register and intonation 🙂 ]
belgianwaffle
on 05 September 2005 at 08:56
Yes, pog, thank you. JD, yes, I am doing excellent work on the Cork accent.
Holiday hiatus
We are going to the North Sea for a fortnight. During this time there will be no blog updates, unless it is very wet indeed.
In my absence, I leave you with the knowledge that the Princess took in her first film this afternoon (following on the excitement of her first bed on Wednesday) and I spent the morning being used as a pincushion in the lab. I would like ooohs for the former and aahs for the latter.
While I’m away, you may wish to contemplate this picture of her highness demonstrating her didactic streak.
(Homepage)
on 20 August 2005 at 05:11
“I swear, woman. If you don’t refill this sippy cup soon, I’ll show you a pincushion.”
on 22 August 2005 at 18:28
Not been blogging much Waffly but your posts do keep me entertaned even if I don’t comment. Have a fab holiday.
(Homepage)
on 23 August 2005 at 07:14
Oh! I have that bowl! It’s a frog. And it’s from IKEA! Sweetnessss….
on 31 August 2005 at 13:26
Loc, an offering entitled Madagascar… I’m a disappointment to you, I know it.
Minks, Negrito, Pog, ta.
BHM, be good.
SJ, how could you guess exactly what she was saying? You’re a genius.
Thanks Bobble.
IKEA rules the world Kristina. But we knew that..
on 13 September 2005 at 16:42
Well, yes. You are. I forgive you though. Generous soul that I am.