After HJB had instructed her cook and housekeeper about the arrangements for her next soiree she asked Maureen, her personal assistant, to get Waffle on the secure line. “Should I peel you a grape too, your HJBness? Ha ha.” No one other than Maureen could speak to HJB in such a way but they had shared so much; the lonely years, the long nights of torment in empty blogs.
Waffle, darling, it’s H here. We may need to move into another plan fairly quickly”
“You’Â’re telling me, LJS is going to lose the run of himself if weÂ’re not careful.”
“I was thinking about Norah.”
“Norah? You mean Norah the blog assassin?”
“She claims to be a reformed character these days but I think we could persuade her to pick her old habits up again. ItÂ’s merely a question of making the right offer. Heather didn’t feel that she needed to tell Waffle that she had already made the right offer…
“Right H. I’Â’ll give it some thought, and I’Â’ll be seeing you at the soiree this weekend?”
“Of course – We’Â’ve prepared the Jasmine Suite for you and the princess. Ciao”
Waffle sat deep in contemplation, the sunlight flashing off her high, sharp cheekbones; cheekbones sharp enough to slice venison. How to persuade Norah? And then she remembered the man she had seen hanging around NorahÂ’’s place. That may be the way –it wouldn’Â’t be easy but she wasn’Â’t a woman who was frightened of a struggle.
on 10 October 2004 at 00:26
“Sharp enough to slice venison.” Worthy of a Mills and Boon Black Edition heroine. 
on 10 October 2004 at 12:45
Ooops – I hope Waffle doesn’t mind me turning her into an M and B Black heroine…
on 10 October 2004 at 15:24
An M&B Black, eh? How wonderful!
I would only wish to say that wherever the truth in things may lie, each entry on this fabrication is simultaneously fantastic and true. Because each captures some magical reality, some distilled quality of what it is to be LJS and to lead an urban and urbane life.
In a way that no writing of true art & merit ever could.
on 11 October 2004 at 13:09
I quite like being an M&B heroine. Most thrilling. LJS, come out Jack, we know it’s you. Silver, I’m crushed. Norah, where are you?
on 11 October 2004 at 13:20
They are the best type Mrs Waffle. I fear I am doomed to Mills and Boon ‘Rose’ division.
on 11 October 2004 at 13:37
V. thrilling, Bobble. It’s not too late, we can change your character though, less mineral water more um, whatever you like really.
on 11 October 2004 at 13:58
god, at this rate all the women are going to be assassins and plotters – we need one fair maid –
on 11 October 2004 at 14:28
so bobble – tell us how you want your character – it’s hard enough trying to do it with the two of us in separate countries without the characters making special requests – next thing we know LJS won’t want to be tall.
on 11 October 2004 at 14:31
Now I sound a fussypants ;o)
I am quite happy with whatever your superior taste decides BW: I am quite chuffed being in it.
on 11 October 2004 at 14:40
(
Comment Modified) Bobble – so you’re fine with what Waffle decides but what if it’s me doing the next bit? Waffle and I haven’t sorted it out yet. I gave Waffle the cheekbones (not that nature didn’t give them to her first) but if you want the length of your legs commented on as opposed to the length of your lense then this is the time….
on 11 October 2004 at 15:56
Hadn’t thought of that Heather.
I do have a shapely neck but that is all I am saying. *ahem*
on 11 October 2004 at 17:42
Sorry I’m late. I heard a rumour that there was a man hanging about my place – I had to reset the traps.
on 13 October 2004 at 12:36
As long as you all know that Cindy and I already have quite a few of the attributes allocated already.
love,
Kate. I mean Pog.
on 13 October 2004 at 20:14
Pog, Bobble, your descriptions are safe with me, can’t answer for HJB of course…
on 17 October 2004 at 20:47
Not bloody likely that LJS is going to lose his height, with all these women after him you can’t take away his manliest feature. Speaking of which – this episode was missing something for me – now what was it…..ah yes. No LJS. How disappointing.
on 17 October 2004 at 21:28
Ah well, Loco, we need to develop the cast of supporting characters.