Lazy Jack Silver was tall. A little too tall perhaps. He liked to drawl in his singsong Cork accent ““Boy, IÂ’’m tall and I’Â’m proud”.” He was also excellent at puns. He sauntered into a bar anxious to pick up an Oxford graduate research student. But he was a little tense. He was in a long distance relationship with a girl in Dublin. Also there was the risk of putting his relationship with Heather in jeopardy. “Although” he reflected wryly “ his recent flat sitting seemed to have soured things”. And then there was the enigmatic Pog, would he ever meet her or would he just end up sitting in bars in exotic places, his eyes full of tears and his evenings ruined? He tried to put that behind him. His work allowed him to travel to exotic destinations where he could try to forget. Working on a newspaper with a lecturing job on the side and (um silver, what is it you do?) meant that his every waking minute was filled with excitement and adventure. People envied him his glamourous lifestyle, he supposed. But he had his own private tragedies, would he ever forget the bitter evening in August when Bolton beat his beloved Liverpool 1 – 0? And then there was the tormented relationship with the Skinny Within. Ah, better not to think of it. He scanned the bar looking for distraction….
Oh good, can you continue the story? I’m running out of inspiration and I can’t help feeling that it needs a bit of menace. 
I don’t like this. The name is all wrong. And when Locotes sees it, you’re in deep dodo. He’ll sort out your langerish behaviour…..
[But I’d give it a sweet if I hadn’t used the last one on the plane home from Crete.]
do you mean menace as in menace the blogger, or menace as in HJB ripping lazy jack silver’s head off because he wrecked her flat?
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Comment Modified) Jack, I know you love it really. HJB, I don’t really know Menace the blogger so I’m looking more for head ripping but I’m afraid it can’t happen immediately because then our hero would be dead and the story would be over. Would you like to feature as a basic instinct type person? In exchange for that sweetie, I think we can pretty much write you up as you’d like. Get back to me.
okay – I won’t rip his head off straight away – we can go for a bit of torture first. I love the idea of being a Basic Instinct type of person but can I keep my knickers on?
I always saw myself as more of an action hero than that. I suppose that’ll be the influence of the other two though – slowing down my natural dynamism.
‘enigmatic’?
I’m proud of that.
Very proud.
I was involved in a bit of a hunt for this until I saw the new category. How exciting! I wasn’t sure how happy I was about my own contribution to the character’s name – but at the same time it’s a pretty accurate representation, so I can’t complain.
Strangely enough I’ve just finished watching my lot lose to Chelsea 1-0, so your post is quite poignant. Private tragedy indeed.