belgianwaffle

Archives for February 2005

Belgian colour supplements


Posted in: Belgium, Reading etc.

Le Soir had a sex supplement on Saturday. I ask you. In colour.

I was perusing an article and asked my loving spouse “What does “partouze” mean?

An orgy. I actually had to look it up.

You mean you didn’t know?

No.

And you are talking to our daughter in French, how will she ever learn proper French, if you don’t know the word for orgy?

(Pause) I’ll leave that for you to decide.

And then there was an interview with Claire, parisienne, who throws orgies. She is described as being, and I quote “adepte du ‘night fucking at home'”.

Me: Isn’t it odd given the variety of French vocabulary in relation to sex that they use an English expression?

Mr. Waffle: I am sure that even as we speak the Académie française is working on an appropriate translation.

Comments
Bobble

on 01 February 2005 at 23:47

I am sure they are Mr & Mrs Waffle. After all the dreaded e-word had to be got rid of (email).

dmts

on 02 February 2005 at 08:44

I love that.

poggle

on 02 February 2005 at 11:25

Well, farque me!

Friar Tuck

on 02 February 2005 at 17:47

Gaaa! My eyes, my eyes!
But seriously, in Italy I saw a whole section of jeans labeled “F**king Jeans”. I wondered why you need special jeans for that activity?

lauren35

on 02 February 2005 at 21:31

as opposed to ‘day f***ing’ then?

Bobble

on 02 February 2005 at 23:25

Italians unlike the dear French are lazy buggers (speaking as one myself). We just add an Italian article and you have a suitable word. Lo Shopping, Il Weekend, Lo Sport, Il Cinema, Il Bar. Easy.

belgianwaffle

on 05 February 2005 at 14:53

Beth, you are so right, there’s a reason why you Americans rule the world.
Bobble, you have to admire the Italians delightful indifference to this kind of thing.
HJB, we aim to please.
Pog, I doubt that’s what the academie will go for.
Lauren, you have this in Paris also?
FT, sorry…

The war cry of the bureaucrat


Posted in: Mr. Waffle

What do we want?

Reasonable change within an acceptable legal framework as negotiated and agreed by all parties.

When do we want it?

In a reasonable timeframe as appropriate going forward.

Comments
poggle

on 02 February 2005 at 11:25

Catchy ….

Friar Tuck

on 02 February 2005 at 17:42

You’d need a lawyer’s lung power for that.

belgianwaffle

on 05 February 2005 at 14:57

I’m glad you all like it. FT, I presume that’s a compliment.

menace

on 08 February 2005 at 19:53

Ha ha. Recall Gordon Brown’s budget soundbite during the heyday of the Spice Girls:I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want: measured, sustainable growth.

poggle

on 09 February 2005 at 11:28

Oh lord – I’d forgotten about that. Cringemaking, wasn’t it?

belgianwaffle

on 12 February 2005 at 15:40

Menace, pog, never heard it – exceptional. Thank you.

Sarcophagic sonnet


Posted in: Reading etc.

“I gaze upon thy paled face
Soon to be entombed in somnolence divine,
O that the knobbed fingers of Death did ever embrace thy soule
And caress thy beauteous form to nature!
I cannot strew thy grave with fragrant petals,
O my love.
For thou encoffin’d and embalmed
In satin shrouds are not to me beloved”

If you’re good, I’ll give you another verse next week. Or would you prefer a couple of lines from “I breathe Byron”?

Comments
Friar Tuck

on 05 February 2005 at 17:46

That’s very, ummm, sonnetty.

belgianwaffle

on 06 February 2005 at 20:26

ChaOtic, too much effort…
FT, um, yes.

poggle

on 07 February 2005 at 16:21

I especially like the ‘knobbed fingers of death’.
And ‘thy paled face’- oooh – new word!
The sentiment is wonderful – ‘I don’t love you now you’re dead’.
More, please.

belgianwaffle

on 12 February 2005 at 15:42

Well, we’ll see…

A trip to the doctor


Posted in: Princess

In we went. The doctor tells me that toddlers are prone to constipation.  Attentive readers will be aware that this is a problem for the Princess at the moment.  It’s a classic thing for her age.  Superb.  He drew diagrams, he chatted, he asked me to prepare an Excel table for our next appointment (he’s obsessed with Excel and its potential).  Throughout this the Princess sobbed convulsively and clung to me pathetically.  When she discovered that he planned to examine her, she nearly choked with rage and distress.  It was all a bit grim.   Anyhow, you’ll be delighted to hear that she thinks the medicine prescribed is delicious and all is improving, so we may not have to go for a scan after all.  Mr. Waffle and I have been debating whose fault this situation might be.
Me: “Well, I’m not anally retentive.”
Him: “Well, whose sister was toilet trained at 9 months?”

1-1 at the moment.

Comments
Friar Tuck

on 07 February 2005 at 17:03

This too shall pass.
on 12 February 2005 at 15:41

Pog, no, no, my sister is the one who was toilet trained at nine months. FT unworthy!

poggle

on 14 February 2005 at 11:39

Oops. Sorry. I got that the wrong way round, huh? Just don’t tell him, okay?

belgianwaffle

on 16 February 2005 at 21:34

Too late, I fear.

Compare and contrast


Posted in: Princess

7.00  Got up
7.10  Gave the Princess her breakfast
7.30  Read “That’s not my Tractor” and “We’re going on a Bear Hunt” with the Princess
7.45  Looked at photographs with the Princess
8.00  Breakfasted with spouse while keeping a wary eye on the Princess
8.20  Put on washing machine (again)
8.30  Back to bed for nap
9.00  Awake exhausted and crawl to shower
9.30  Dressed and ready to face the day, depart for park
9.45  Arrive park and assist the Princess in extracting maximum enjoyment from swings and slides while getting mud on off white coat.  Split Princess’s lip while assisting her on to see-saw.  Deal with understandable profound upset. Get blood on (freshly dry cleaned) very off white coat. Deeply regret wearing off white coat.
10.15  Meet a number of friends and acquaintances and assorted offspring in park
11.00  Go home.
11.15  Entertain friend and offspring with tea and croissants
12.00  Attend mass
13.00  Return home.

What I used to do on Sunday mornings before my daughter was born

7.00 – 13.00  Sleep.
13.00   Get up.

Spent her nap time recovering from the ardours of the morning and discovering from the Observer what ailments she is likely to
have.  This afternoon was magic though.  We went to the toy museum. It’s a fabulous place.  Loads of toys (obviously) which children can actually play with including a little kitchen, scooters, train sets, cars, buses, trams, rocking horses and a small theatre.  It reminded me of the toy theatres that my father bought us when we were little and I have grown all nostalgic and intend to torture my mother to check whether they are still in the attic.

Comments

belgianwaffle

on 09 February 2005 at 21:31

Oh go away. Well, 9.30, probably time for me to head to bed. Yawn.

Working across enemy lines


Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Princess
Me: So the wolf ends up in the little pig’s pot and burns his tail, ow, ow.
Princess:  Poor wolf, kiss the tail (kisses picture).  Better?
Mr. Waffle:  But, it’s a bad wolf, it tried to eat the little pig.
Princess (reprovingly):  Sick tail, kiss it better.
Mr. Waffle (resignedly):  I see that that our daughter believes in the Red Cross principles: we care for all the injured, regardless of the rights and wrongs of the conflict.
Princess:  Tail, better?
Comments
Mikeachim

on 08 February 2005 at 20:17

The way I see it, the tail isn’t the one at fault. It’s just doing its job.
Kudos to Princess for negotiating this tricky moral minefield without breaking a sweat.
🙂

Friar Tuck

on 08 February 2005 at 23:26

We may have a place for Princess. Please complete the attached documents and return them to me. We’ll be calling for an interview later.

poggle

on 09 February 2005 at 11:46

Wow FT – Princess is going to be the next pope?

Friar Tuck

on 09 February 2005 at 17:44

Well, pog, Princess has several things in common with the current occupant of the throne. She occasionally drools, wears a diaper, and furthermore**ZAP**
*sizzle*

poggle

on 09 February 2005 at 17:54

Don’t you worry. Princess will save you from the nasty man by kissing it better.

belgianwaffle

on 09 February 2005 at 19:57

Menace, Mike, you are funny. FT, pog really, she’s going to be the next pope? And by the by, FT that’s a nappy. Princess will, of course, save you.

Friar Tuck

on 10 February 2005 at 04:02

Of course it is, dear.