Efforts to make me the kind of person you could safely introduce to polite society continue apace.  When I say anything
untoward, the Princess says “don’t say (insert appropriate swear word)
Mummy”.  She seems to recognise the words
from the tone in which I say them and usually sheÂ’s right though the other day
she said “don’t say believe me Mummy” and I was able to reassure her that that
was entirely kosher.  At breakfast with
her grandparents, while they were visiting, I was foolish enough to say “shag
it”.

“Don’t say shag it Mummy”

“What else can’t Mummy say?” asked an agent
provocateur and to my absolute horror my daughter proceeded as follows:

DonÂ’t say damn it Mummy

DonÂ’t say fuck it Mummy

DonÂ’t say feck it Mummy

DonÂ’t say God Almighty Mummy

DonÂ’t say Sweet Jesus Mummy

And was only shut up by being bundled from the
table by her mortified mother.

Bobble

on 04 November 2005 at 09:56

I think a career in the government beckons. Remind me if I have children to bring them up on the ‘Waffle Model’. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Locotes

on 04 November 2005 at 12:34

It appears Mummy swears quite a lot. And with some hefty variety too. Well, you have two new brains to mould to your swearing ways now… 0
Sweetie(s) given    

beachhutman

on 04 November 2005 at 19:33

When my girl was very young and I’d take her to the swings, she had a squeal, very loud, calling for another shove. Unfortunately it sounded a hell of a lot like “Fuck”, and I collected a LOT of stares! 0
Sweetie(s) given    

poggle

on 05 November 2005 at 07:55

My nephew (then 3) was playing with his new train set – one of those lovely wooden ones that uses magnets to connect the carriages after a hefty Christmas lunch. As the carriages were pulled over a humpbacked bridge, the rear ones gave up and rolled back down the track. He kneeled up, put his chubby fists on his hips and intoned: “Well, fuck me!”.
Cue various adults purple-faced and weeping trying to stifle their mirth and my sister silently mouthing other obscenities at her partner – the guilty party. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

jackdalton

on 05 November 2005 at 12:00

You should see the impact that “Where’s my fookin spoon?” can have on a restaurant until it becomes clear that the young lady in question is actually asking her (inexperienced)babysitter for a fork and spoon. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Kate_Sith

on 07 November 2005 at 10:46

My sister dropped something and in an attempt to stop swearing quite so much in front of her children said ‘Oh shhh-ugar’ to which the response from her 3 year old was ‘Why did you just nearly say shit, mummy?’ 0
Sweetie(s) given    

belgianwaffle

on 07 November 2005 at 14:45

Oooh, I do like all the other swearing stories. Thank you people. Ladyjane, think shag it is nationwide but prepared to hear arguments for Limerick. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

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