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20 November, 2005
Posted in: Miscellaneous

My sister
and I spoke on the phone during the week.

 Round I

Me:  YouÂ’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.

Her: Why?

Me
(triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!

Her: What?
What?

Me: I
dropped Michael.

Her: Oh
God!

Me: Not
very far and on to the sofa, he didnÂ’t like it much though.

Daniel poos.

Me:  Did you hear that?

Her:  I was trying to ignore it.

Me: That
was your nephew doing a poo.

Her: Too
much information.

Me: But my
life is full of poo at the moment.

Her (tartly):
But mine doesnÂ’t have to be.

Me
(grudgingly):  Fair point.

 

Round II

Me:  I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other
night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your
clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the
programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell meÂ…

Her: No.

Me: Why
not?

Her
(crabbily):  I havenÂ’t seen you much
since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I
got my nose bitten off.

Me (even
more crabbily):  Have you any idea how
hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?

Her (hastily):
Anyway, I havenÂ’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.

Me: ItÂ’s
still all the same.

Her: Pregnant
silence.

Me: Oh I
see.

 

Knock out

Her:
Anyway, IÂ’ve got to go, I have a meeting.

Me: But you
canÂ’t go, IÂ’m stuck under two feeding babies.

Her: Sorry.

Me
(desperately): But I havenÂ’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio
is off.

Her: Gotta
go, bye, talk to you soon.

I spend the
next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying
to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 21 November 2005 at 17:58

I’m trying, unsuccessfully, to work myself up to the expected level of indignation toward sis.    

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 09:19

Yes, Minks and to add insult to injury a parcel arrived from her in the post yesterday for the Princess and the boys and now I feel guilty as well…
FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

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