Twin Hierarchies

There is a distinct pecking order in twin esteem among those who like to peer at children. Rankings are as follows:

1. Identical twin girls (they’re identical, and they’re cute little girls, probably in pink)
2. Identical twin boys (ok, they are boys, but they’re still identical)
3. Non-identical twins, one boy one girl (they’re not identical but at least they’ve done something interesting with one boy, one girl)
4. Non-identical twin girls (ok,they’re not identical but still, they’re cute little girls) and then, finally
5. Non-identical twin boys (I bet they’re IVF and that’s bad, it’s cheating really).

You think I am kidding? I regularly get asked whether the boys are “real twins”? I say “yes, they were born at the same time”. Then the querier likes to clarify “est-ce qu’ils sont monozygote?” “No, they’re not monozygote”. Then they look like I’ve been lying to them. One day I was waiting, with the boys, for Mr. Waffle and another woman was waiting for someone as well and she had twin boys too, born on the same day as mine. Hers were identical. A little old lady came zooming over to us and ignoring my beautiful boys, she peered at this other woman’s children quivering with excitement “did I hear monozygote? Est-ce qu’ils sont monozygote?”