Michael: Can I have a jam sandwich after my porridge?
Daniel: Me too.
Me: OK, do you want them cut or folded?
I produced the jam sandwiches (yes, yes, I know, for breakfast)…cut. It was an accident, I wasn’t concentrating.
Daniel and Michael: We wanted them folded.
Me: Are you sure?
Me: Well, it’s cut or nothing, I’m not going to throw those out just because they’re not folded. They taste the same, you know.
Me: What is it cut or nothing?
Michael: I asked for it folded.
Me: Sometimes in life you can’t have everything you want.
Michael: Sometimes in life you can. I want it FOLDED.
Me: It tastes the same.
Boys stomp into the kitchen and pull down all the fridge magnets from the fridge in protest. This is VERY annoying. I send them, still weeping, to sit on the stairs and think about their sins.
Me: Are you ready to say sorry?
Daniel: OK. Sorry.
Michael: NO. I WANTED IT FOLDED.
Daniel sits up to eat the cut sandwich and asks whether, if he eats it, he can have another one, folded. I reluctantly concede – going half way to reward him for his capitulation. Michael pauses his howling.
Michael: Can I have another jam sandwich folded, if I eat the cut one?
Me: Yes, ok.
Michael (unanswerably): Then why can’t I have the folded one first?
Me: Because you have to eat the cut one before you can get the folded one.
Michael: I have to eat two jam sandwiches to get the folded one?
Me (in some difficulty): Yes.
Michael: Why do I have to eat two jam sandwiches?
Sometimes the words ‘Because I said so’ must appear exceedingly attractive to the modern mother…
Oh, and there is something very satisfying about the folded edge of a jam sandwich. I may have to make myself one now
Ugh. The perils of not really listening. I do it myself all the time and end up backed into a corner of my own making. I blame it on having far too much to think about at any one time!
This is in my list of ‘Things learned from my Mother, to use in the future’.
Never offer a child a choice. Choices lead to Trouble.
I feel your pain. On a daily basis. At least they are eating something for breakfast, unlike my 4 year old
TM, this is treason on two counts. You may be made to eat your jam sandwich on the stairs in disgrace.
Lucy, I agree. Sarah, well yes, I suppose but you can baffle them with options as well…
C, they do, normallly, eat a very good breakfast which may be explained by the fact that they steadfastly refuse to eat dinner.
Pay attention. They expressed a preference for folded butties. If you’d ordered in a shop or restaurant I’m sure we would’ve had a different blog post.
I Know. I don’t have children…