Message from IT:
In order to upgrade and enhance the efficiency and stability of our Network environment, IT Networks are currently undertaking a project to virtualise our Network.
Disruption to services during this project will be kept to an absolute minimum. However, as with all projects of this nature there will be some down time for users. A separate e-mail will issue from your local Network team in the coming days informing you of when down time is anticipated. When you receive those details, if there are any reasons why you think the period of downtime might have an adverse affect on your areas work, please contact us immediately.
Translation kindly provided by Mr. Waffle:
Your PC might stop at any time without warning. If you think this might be a problem, tell us.
And when these separate emails issue from your local Network team informing you of when down time is anticipated, how will you read them if your PC is down?
I will intuit them using my psychic powers. Obviously.
“A separate e-mail will issue from your local Network team”
This distresses me more than the missing apostrophe later in the paragraph. Haven’t they heard of the future perfect?
Um, is that bad? Yours in cowering ignorance.
If they wrote in simple, understandable English you might be tempted to believe that members of the IT Department were mere mortals, which would be heresy. Ritual language reinforces your belief in the deities. IT rules!
Ahem, BroLo, your roots may be showing.