Regular readers will be aware that I am from Cork and although I have now lived for longer out of Cork than I did in it, it will probably always be home to me. When my father died in December 2020, I remember thinking that for the first time I had no home in Cork. Your parents’ house is your house, it is, as my mother-in-law used to say, “where they always have to take you in”. A slightly grudging formulation I always felt, I mean surely home is where they always want to take you in?
I was delighted when my sister said that she wanted to buy my parents’ house. It was the best possible option for me. The house would stay in the family and someone else would, realistically, have to go through the lifetime’s worth of stuff accumulated by my parents. Probate took a while and so did the conveyancing process but now the house is finally my sister’s. The sale closed in early November. I am pretty sure I will always be welcome to stay with my sister but, of course, it’s no longer my parents’ house. She has lots of plans for renovations (very much needed) and changes. It is lovely to think of the house being looked after again as it was when my mother was well. She was the most competent person I ever met, she took upholstery lessons and re-upholstered the sofa, she painted, she moved furniture with abandon. She really had endless confidence that she could do anything and mostly she could. So this is completely a good news story but still I feel a bit sad. Another door closed, the end of an era.
Funny- I agree that your parents house is where they always need to take you in, even when that house has never been your home. My parents have moved 3x since I â€˜left homeâ€™ and are currently in a retirement community. Itâ€™s where they need to be and although Iâ€™ve never lived there, I know they wonâ€™t ever turn me away.
Nicola Doherty says
I can identify! I am sure the house will look lovely in the care of its new owner.
Iâ€™m sure youâ€™re right. And yes, I imagine you can..
Thatâ€™s nice Karen – itâ€™s hard, isnâ€™t it, when your parents get older?
Yes, it’s difficult and stressful to (try to) help aging parents. While I’m fortunate that both of my parents and my lovely in-laws are still with us, I also hope I am learning lessons about what not to do as I age.
I fear we will all make our own mistakes but I know what you mean.