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47

12 March, 2016 at 10:24 pm by belgianwaffle

I was 47 on Thursday. It was a bit unsatisfactory. For a range of reasons. Firstly, I was at work, having decided that it would be inappropriate to take a day’s holiday too early in the new job. I think that was a mistake. Secondly, I had arranged to meet someone for lunch when, really, I would have preferred to go somewhere nice on my own and then a couple of other people came and even though all of these people were very nice, I ended up being the conversational glue holding everyone together and that is tiring.

Thirdly, when I came home that evening, I turned around and headed out the door with Daniel who was singing at the school first confession that evening. We were there about 7. The priest was late. We only finally emerged about 9. Daniel got to sing a verse of one of the hymns with a smaller group and it all went well, so he was pleased. I had hoped to have a celebratory birthday take-away (the excitement!). But, fourthly, by the time I got home after 9 it was really too late. Then, fifthly, I trudged disconsolately to the fridge to get a birthday dinner of cheese and crackers only to find that the cat had got into the fridge and food was scattered everywhere and she was wolfing down some chicken scraps. Under the pile of chicken, inevitably really, was the cheese which I had been hoping to eat.

All in all, sub-optimal. On Friday, Mr. Waffle proposed that we go out for a nice dinner on Saturday to make up for the debacle of my birthday. Babysitter and restaurant were booked. Poor Mr. Waffle, this morning he had to do some urgent work thing and around lunch time he started to feel ill. He retired to bed. About 4 we cancelled dinner and babysitter and, as I type, he is still in bed having eaten nothing since lunch time. Oh woe.

Inauspicious, I feel. However, if you sent a card or an email, please know that this year of all years, it was welcome. Also, herself bought me Toffifees which was pleasing. Daniel and Michael made me a card. Daniel tried to give me €50 of his money and Mr. Waffle bought me this picture. So not all bad either.

Updated to add: I forgot to mention my birthday message from vodafone –

Please note you have reached 100% of your monthly data and will not be able to use data until your next allowance begins on 15-03-2016. To purchase our best value data freetext INFO to 50226 or for more details visit www.vodafone.ie/datacharges. To continue using data for the remainder of your billing period, freetext NO DATA BAR to 50226.

I moved on to a new tariff last month and the man said I had more data than I would ever need. I see.

Updated to add: My father said to me when I told him of my various woes “forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit”. I had to look it up (having only done Latin for a couple of years and never having liked it much). Possibly, it means, one day you will look back on this and laugh. Thanks Virgil, not yet though.

Cat News: Red in Tooth and Claw etc.

16 January, 2016 at 10:24 pm by belgianwaffle

The cat is constantly starving. I do feel for her. As my sister pointed out, just because she is fat, doesn’t mean she isn’t hungry. But the vet says she has to have a waist and we have to limit her food intake. We are conscious that she is already supplementing her diet with random rodent snacks so are trying to feed her relatively limited amounts. She does not find that pleasing and she prowls around the kitchen whenever we are eating or preparing food in the hope of leaping up and stealing something from the table. It’s a constant battle and despite our vigilance she often gets away with stuff; scurrying off delightedly with a leftover chicken bone or the ham from one of the children’s sandwiches or some other delicacy.

Recently, we inadvertently and, I confess, foolishly left the fridge open. Quick as a flash, the cat got in and grabbed the cold roast beef left over from Sunday dinner. It was an enormous piece and she scooted under the armchair set aside for her use with it clutched between her jaws which were stretched to maximum capacity. She stayed under the chair making the most extraordinary growling noise at all comers. I picked up the chair and the Princess bravely picked the cat up. Then, I began to attempt to wrestle the roast beef from the cat’s jaws of death but to no avail. She clutched it firmly growling the while and struggling against the Princess’s iron hold. I was afraid to pull too hard as I really thought that she would let her teeth be pulled out rather than yield her piece of beef.

The Princess eventually managed to prise it from her and like the lion in Jim, “she slunk reluctant to her cage/snarling with disappointed rage” or, in her case, the armchair in front of the fire. She had the last laugh, of course, for what could we do but feed her roast beef until it was all gone.

Untitled
As though butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

The Dark Side of Cat Ownership

8 October, 2015 at 10:42 pm by belgianwaffle

This morning, Mr. Waffle disposed of two partially disembowelled mice, one from the utility room and one from the kitchen. Then he whooshed the indignant cat away from the pile of her vomit by the back door. It contained visible mouse entrails and her previous night’s dinner and she was busy re-consuming it.

I will leave you with that image. You’re welcome.

Oops I Did It Again

4 March, 2015 at 8:07 pm by belgianwaffle

When the children and I were away, the cat disappeared briefly. Mr. Waffle found her by following the piteous meowing sound to the neighbours’ enclosed patio behind their shed. She had got in but she couldn’t get out. The neighbours were away for the week and Mr. Waffle could only get her back by throwing random bric-a-brac from our shed over the wall to improvise a ladder. She began by sheltering from the rain under it but gradually worked out that she needed to climb up it. As Mr. Waffle leaned down perilously to grab her, he heard the unwelcome sound of our own shed door banging shut leaving him left out in the lane. At least he had rescued the cat who scampered off home over the roof of our shed. Mr. Waffle had to do the same. Nobody was injured you will be relieved to hear.

Can you believe that the idiot cat did the same thing the following day? Here she is in the pile of bric-a-brac resting a tentative paw on the climbing frame.

IMAG0987

Don’t Judge Me

21 November, 2014 at 10:58 pm by belgianwaffle

On Wednesday night I came in late. Daniel had made cheesy shapes in the afternoon and one of them was lying on the kitchen floor. I picked it up, blew on it and ate it. I did have some qualms but, you know, the floor was clean, I had blown on it [protection against all known germs], I was hungry and otherwise the cheesy shape would have gone in the bin. I noticed it seemed to have lost its cheese on the way to the floor and was mostly cheese flavoured dough.

I came back to the kitchen ten minutes later and there was another cheesy shape on the floor without its cheese. How could this be? Everyone was in bed. Who could have taken a cheesy shape from the plate on the counter, put it on the floor and eaten off all the cheese? That’s when I realised I had shared the previous cheesy shape with the cat. I put the next one in the bin.

Evangelical

26 July, 2014 at 10:09 pm by belgianwaffle

I live close to town and I usually cycle in, if I have errands to run. Last week, the children did summer camps in town and I drove them in. Then I was kind of stuck with the car in town and found myself driving around doing errands which never normally happens. It is really inconvenient and expensive to boot. I did drive home one day and cycle back in to collect the children but that was not a success as they were hot, tired and hungry and did not welcome the walk home. It’s really too dangerous for them to cycle with me, so we were stuck.

It would be so fantastic if we could have safer cycle lanes in Dublin. If they can do it in Cork, surely they can do it here. Perhaps we need our own pedal on parliament.

Unrelated: The cat has just hauled in a dead bird – delighted with herself. Mr. Waffle and the Princess are out bat watching so I have just had to dispose of the carcase myself. Woe.

Email from Husband

22 July, 2014 at 12:33 pm by belgianwaffle

Subject: Wretched Cat

IMAG0373

It’s like a morgue here.


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