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Late, late, late

19 September, 2007
Posted in: Belgium, Family, Middle Child, Princess

I am one of life’s tardy people. My father always says that my mother has no appreciation that time is finite and I have inherited that flaw. I always think things will take less time than they do.

Yesterday I had to take leave to mind sick Daniel (poor Daniel, he’s fine today, thank you for asking) because, alas, my husband is off in foreign parts and I am holding the fort. In between being sick Daniel slept, so it could have been worse. At 5.30 our student babysitter came to mind him (he had been made safe by a motillium suppository and, if you don’t know what that is, you’re better off) and I drove off to pick up Michael from the creche and the Princess from the childminder. The traffic was dreadful and I didn’t get back until (eek) 6.30.

I fed the children and the babysitter (well, otherwise when was she going to get dinner?) and then we bathed the boys and put them to bed and then while K got the Princess cleaned up and ready for bed, I got ready for my dinner with a delegation visiting Brussels for work. I felt mildly self-conscious applying my make-up in front of a beautiful 21 year old but, never mind.

At 7.30, I drove to the school in pouring rain and finally found parking at 7.45 and ran in, late, for the parent-teacher meeting that started at 7.30. This was a mildly depressing experience. Mostly from pragmatism but partly from principle we put the Princess into the school nearest to our house. It is a school with pupils who are overwhelmingly the children of poor immigrants and the remainder are the children of poor Belgians. On the whole we have been very happy with the school and very smug about our choice. However, it is undoubtedly true that we were also aware that a lot of the children in the Princess’s class didn’t speak French but, to be honest, I would have thought that in their third year in the school system (Belgian school starts at two and a half – it keeps them tough) with significant extra language tuition, that problem would have disappeared. Apparently not. Madame Christine tells us that she is still gesturing to get her meaning across. There are children who do not understand “folder” (OK), there are children who do not understand “school bag” (less OK) and there are children who do not understand “put” (not OK at all). Lots of the children don’t know their colours. This is daft, they’re FOUR. I was telling the Princess an edited version of last night’s encounter this morning and asked her did she know her colours and she said “oh yes and when Madame Christine does the exercises on colours, she keeps saying to me ‘stop, you’re going too fast, give the others a chance.'” I don’t think this illustrates that my child is vastly gifted but my smug four year old clearly does.

At the end of last year, the teachers found that the children didn’t know what things were made of. Sample dialogue:

What’s this made of?

A fork.

Yes, I know it’s a fork, but what’s it made of?

Pointy?

Sample dialogue with the Princess at breakfast:

What’s my spoon made of?

Metal.

What’s your spoon made of?

Plastic.

What’s your bowl made of?

China.

What’s the cornflake box made of?

Cardboard.

I’m hoping that this business of what things are made of is not the key learning for the year. I know that she needs to learn lots from school other than ‘academic’ things, how to socialise, how to work out her place in the world, how to become autonomous but I know that the problems her classmates are having are almost certainly not experienced in the posh communal school down the road (which had no places by the time her feckless mother called them).

Funnily enough, the Princess’s school is private (as it’s Catholic) and the posh school is public. The fact that it was catholic was one of the selling points of our school for me until the head ‘reassured’ me that it was Catholic in name only. I see where he’s coming from, although there are lots of statues of ‘dead Jesus’, if the Princess is to be believed, there doesn’t seem to be any religion in the classroom. This is also funny when you consider the situation with faith schools in the UK as outlined recently by the GPmama. In fact there is a (Catholic) friend of Mr. Waffle’s in London who is still doing the flowers in her local Protestant church because she cosied up to them in the hopes of getting her daughter in. Unfortunately, the daughter didn’t get in despite all that creative use of oasis.

So, 8.15, I really had to go though I would have liked to stay until the end because, you know, when you get worried about things like this, you like to have a complete picture so that you can drive yourself insane. Bucketing down and I was supposed to be at the restaurant near the office and was striding womanfully across the school yard. I rang and said, quite mendaciously, that I was circling looking for parking and they should go ahead without me. Oh no, they would wait. Alas. Mercifully parking very easy on arrival so no one was forced to eat the table.

My delegation being on a bit of a break from their day jobs were very relaxed. I meanwhile had my mobile phone on the table waiting for a call from the babysitter to tell me to come home because Daniel had been sick. She didn’t which was just as well because we were paying for dinner and it would have been difficult to do before people had finished eating which they didn’t until gone midnight; you will recall that they were relaxed. I dropped a couple of my Brussels based colleagues home (because I am kind) and pitched up about 12.30 all apologies to saintly babysitter who had an 8.00 am lecture next morning. Called her a taxi, put out the bins and went to bed at 1.00. Up with the boys at 3 and 5 and the Princess prodded me out of bed at 6 so that we could have breakfast alone together before the boys woke up.

Arrived into work this morning to hear young colleague complaining that she is exhausted; jet lag from her trip to LA. Firmly buttoned my lip.

Some things

13 June, 2007
Posted in: Belgium, Princess, Twins

We buy 30 litres of milk a week.

The Princess continues her fascination with the largeness of our Dutch friend and why food needs to be dead before we eat it. She brought these together neatly the other night.

Her: Why is the quail dead before we eat it?

Me: Because it tastes nicer cooked and it would be hard to eat it, if we had to chase it round the room first.

Her: It would be easier to catch if it were bigger. It would be good to have a quail the size of the Dutch Papa running around the room

Me: Actually, it might not be.

At school they had some eggs and watched them hatch into chickens and turn into hens. They did lots of work on the chicken life cycle and pulled it all together in a bound folder she brought home. “Look” she said “my dossier de l’oeuf”. Ah, the romance languages.

Quote of the week

20 May, 2007
Posted in: Belgium

“We campaign in poetry, but we govern in prose”. So, apparently, said Mario Cuomo. Judging by yesterday’s Irish Times, there’s not a great deal of poetry in the Irish election campaign either.

Voting takes place on May 24. Everything appears frenzied back in Ireland. As an emigrant I am completely disenfranchised. The only thing I can vote in is the Belgian communal elections which are, of course, fine in their way but perhaps lack the excitement associated with national politics. Then, of course, there are the Belgian federal elections on June 10 which I can’t vote in either. Poor Mr. Waffle has bought a comic strip book outlining the main issues. You think I’m joking? I’m not.

More random odd stories from the kingdom of the Belgians

8 May, 2007
Posted in: Belgium

Belgium is a country divided by languages, namely French and Flemish (nobody seems too worried about the German speakers).

Belgian Friend: L is a Leo (lion in French).

Me: Ah, like the symbol of Belgium.

BF: No, that’s the symbol of Flanders.

Me: I think it’s also the symbol of Belgium.

BF (darkly): I wouldn’t put it past them.

The Belgian army is divided along linguistic lines.  Batches of troops (companies, battalions, divisions, who knows?) are put in the same linguistic groups.  So, when they meet doing NATO manoeuvres, they speak to each other in English until they have established the language regime applying to the other troop.

Finally, Belgians are given a licence plate at the start of their driving careers and they keep those numbers forever.  Given developments in licence plate numbering, you can tell the really old drivers by their plates.  I find that strangely satisfying which makes me wonder whether I have been married to my husband for too long.

Where there is disharmony

3 April, 2007
Posted in: Belgium

I went to a concert this evening in the Conservatoire. I know, it’s just glamour, glamour, glamour. It looks like it needs a lick of paint.

It is one of the Belgian institutions that is supported by both the French and the Flemish community (and maybe even the German speakers too, for all I know). This is deeply unfortunate because, before they can agree to pick up a paintbrush, all the parameters of the action have to be explored and agreed by both communities. I may be mixing up my communities and my regions here, it is all fiendishly complex: I think that there are two regions (Flanders and Wallonia) and three communities (French speaking, Flemish speaking and German speaking) but it’s all a bit of a mystery really. I have already written about the effect on the nation’s young orchestra conductors. Tonight I heard that the in the conservatoire, the bottom of the tympani (or drums as I used to call them before I heard the conservatoire types talking) are funded by the Flemish and the tops by the French. Something has to give.

Meanwhile, on the radio on the way home, I hear that one of the catholic cardinals has put the cat among the pigeons by saying that he disapproves of gay marriage, abortion and condoms. Um, this is a surprise?

Equal pay for equal work

30 March, 2007
Posted in: Belgium, Work

Today is equal pay day in Belgium. Here is the mildly amusing poster (it’s not that I’m emotional, it’s that I’m underpaid is a rough translation of the slogan) and here is a long pdf document from last year that the Belgians have translated into English as well. That latter perhaps only for the enthusiasts. Peggy even has a video.

When Ireland joined the EU in 1973 it sought a derogation from the equal pay legislation on the grounds that it would beggar us. But we didn’t get it. Is it any wonder I love Europe? In the 1960s and early 70s women working in the public sector and many parts of the private sector including the banks faced a “marriage bar”. If they were married, they had to give up their jobs.

I suppose in that context it’s no surprise that more than 30 years after the forced introduction of equal pay legislation, the gender pay gap continues. In an EU document (found via this blog, it is so typical of the EU that it’s easier to find its documents via a random blog than via its own multifarious and exciting websites for the various directorate generals – “corporate strategy, what’s that, we’re all individuals here” and people think they’re just faceless bureaucrats, you know) there is a table showing the gender pay gap over 25 European countries in 2002. The average gap is 25%. 25% people! Your sister, your daughter, your mother: their work is worth 25% less than a man’s. See how your country performs on page 22.

More funny children stories tomorrow.

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