belgianwaffle

Princess

Child Safety


Posted in: Princess, Twins

For the
boys:

Our video shop boasts steep stairs. You cannot return videosthrough the postbox, oh no, you must go down the steps, queue and give them to the cashier. As we work our way through The Sopranos (series 1 down, only 6 years behind now), it is becoming an increasing pain returning the videos and our fines are becoming astronomical. We have turned over a new leaf and intend to return the videos the following day. Last Sunday, Mr. Waffle went out with the boys in the double buggy with the express intention of returning the video.

Me: You’ll never get them down the stairs.
Him: Well, I was thinking that if I saw somebody
who looked trustworthy…
Me: Absolutely, you could leave the boys briefly with somebody and nip down..
Him: No, I was thinking I could ask him or her to return the video for me.
Me: Oh right, yeah.

For the Princess:

Me: Tell Daddy about our trip out this afternoon.
Her: Mummy didn’t close the strap on the buggy.
Me: Well, I never close the strap on the buggy now, you’re a big girl.
Him: Gasp.
Her: Yes, but Mummy tipped the buggy up in the air..
Him: Gasp.
Me: Ah yes, ahem, it was an accident.
Her: Yes and I fell on the road.
Me: This is being taken completely out of context.
Her: In front of a bus.
Him: REALLY??
Me: Um, yes, but I mean the bus had stopped to let us cross and we were on the zebra
crossing, it wasn’t exactly thundering down on our helpless child.
Him and Her in unison: But you should have strapped me/her into the buggy.

We’re off to the Hague this weekend to visit the Dutch Mama and her family; I wonder what fresh hazards I can unearth there?

Original Sin


Posted in: Belgium, Princess

The Princess and I went to the Musée des Beaux Arts recently. Oh yes, we grudge no exertion in dredging up material for readers of the Bulletin’s website.

We stopped in front of the Lucas Cranach picture of Adam and Eve and I told her the story which made a significant impression. We went over it a number of times (“tell me again, again, again about Adam and Evil”)

Later in the day she asked me, “Mummy, what are Adam and Evil’s full names?
Me: Adam and Eve and those are their full names.
Her: But their surnames?
Me: Nope, they haven’t got surnames.
Her: Fancy that! [Pause] But normally (too much exposure to the language of Voltaire) we have surnames, Mummy.

A couple of days after this I gave her an apple and she looked daggers at me. “God will be cross with me for eating the apple,” she said indignantly.

Comments
belgianwaffle

on 14 March 2006 at 09:09

Dr TS, you are funny. Do I know you or are you just a random internet person? 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

poggle

on 14 March 2006 at 09:12

She is absolutely fantastic – Adam and Evil indeed.
I suspect she might well have chomped her way through the apple of knowledge already. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

DoctorTripswitch

on 14 March 2006 at 14:57

Why, is your surname Pratt or something? It’d be one hell of a shot in the dark.. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Friar Tuck

on 14 March 2006 at 18:07

I think the good doctor is on to something! It would explain the word “pratfall”. ���

belgianwaffle

on 21 March 2006 at 20:58

Pog, quite. NO, it is not, Pratt. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

DoctorTripswitch

on 22 March 2006 at 12:51

I only ask because I’m a quarter Pratt. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 22 March 2006 at 13:11

You’re only saying that… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

DoctorTripswitch

on 22 March 2006 at 17:06

No, I’m acting it out too. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���


Posted in: Belgium, Mr. Waffle, Princess

The Belgians, they drive with such dash and élan. Road signs and markings are advisory not compulsory, if you’Â’re Belgian. The Princess has a little ditty that she learnt in school which shows the mindset of the Belgian driver:

Dans ma petite auto, je roule, je roule
Dans ma petite auto, je roule à toute vitesse.
Quand le signale est rouge, il faut que je m’arrête (bis)
Quand le signale est vert, je fonce, je fonce.

A rough translation: I zoom around in my little car, alas when the traffic lights are red, I have to stop, however, once they are green, I speed off at a dangerous rate.

A little of this has rubbed off on me over the years. My driving style has been described as “exciting” by Mr. Waffle. My parking is pretty good too, I can shoehorn our ridiculously long car into surprisingly small places. If you need to decant three little people, you like to be close to your destination, trust me. I can tell you, I never thought that I would be able to do this kind of thing when I spent many hours preparing for my driving test by repeatedly trying and abysmally failing to parallel park in the car park of my mother’s golf club while she went and played a round of golf.

I try to keep the worst of my offences from Mr. Waffle, but the Princess has turned out to be a fifth columnist in this regard.
She and Mr. Waffle went out together in the car recently and as they toured around looking for a parking slot, herself kept up a monologue in the back “Lord, will we ever find a space, look that man has got the last space in Brussels. After a bit, she said to her father ““Daddy, if you can’Â’t find anything, we can always park in front of a garage, itÂ’s a little bit illegal, but itÂ’s alright”.” I hastened to explain to my outraged husband that I would only do this for a short time, like when going in to collect her from school and if I double park, I put on my hazards, which makes it legal. Practically. Yes indeed, if thereÂ’’s a large station wagon impeding your exit, itÂ’s probably me. Or, of course, it could be a Belgian.

I wrote this the other day and as some kind of hideous judgement by the gods of parking, all day today a car
has been parked outside my garage preventing me using my gas guzzling behemoth. Alas.

]]>

http://www.belgianwaffle.net/2006/03/567/

A Culinary Chasm


Posted in: Belgium, Princess

Saturday – Snails

Sunday – McDos

Also, on a completely separate note, for guilt ridden (i.e. all) mothers only, I recommend this.

Comments

jackdalton

on 13 March 2006 at 14:19

The eyes in the second pic say it all… 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given

kristin

(Homepage)

on 13 March 2006 at 18:39

those ~are~ escargot, aren’t they? i’m so impressed. and not a little frightened. and what a great link. so true, so true.

beachhutman

on 13 March 2006 at 19:25

Good on that Princess! Excellent progress. Well parented, Waffle and Mr Waffle! 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 14 March 2006 at 09:09

Beth, we don’t have cheerios in Belgium, they’ve had to be replaced by snails and waffles.
JD, um, what precisely…and where’s your new blog mister?
Kristin, yes it IS very comforting, isn’t it?
BHM for the snails or the McDo or the range? 0
Sweetie(s) given

KE

(Homepage)

on 14 March 2006 at 17:37

I first missed the delineation of Saturday and Sunday and thought that Belgian MaccyD’s served escargot. Rats.

As for that blog post – more mothers should read it. I have to say for myself, though, that – now I am over the bout of postnatal depression – I have pretty much decided that I am a great mum no matter what I do. This is pretty easy once you realise that all those mums who talk about potty-training at 3 months and bed-sharing without ever losing any sleep and only ever feeding little Cosmo and Arabella organic, grain-fed grains etc are talking a load of bollocks. They are liars and I bet they don’t even have any babies.

belgianwaffle

on 21 March 2006 at 20:57

Sorry about that KE, that would be excellent, they do serve beer here at McDos, if that’s any comfort… 0
Sweetie(s) given

Fiat Lux


Posted in: Princess, Reading etc.

The lightbulb blew in the kitchen the other day. I spent most of the day wondering whether I would get a chance to stand on a chair and change it before darkness fell. I’Â’m a busy woman, I can tell you. Not too busy to blog, obviously.

Comments

poggle
on 08 March 2006 at 15:22
I have just failed miserably in the change a lightbulb stakes. After having successfully removed the poncy little downlighter bulb (by dint of much swearing, a cut finger and injudicious use of a screwdriver to prise the damn thing out), I then spent a good five minutes trying to work out where the little prongs plug in in the fitting. Does it work now? Does it buggery.< kristin (Homepage)
on 08 March 2006 at 18:20
the lightbulb in my closet has been out for a month. i’ve been choosing my outfits by feel.
Lilo
on 08 March 2006 at 20:46
When lightbulbs go chez lilo, it is usually my job to change them. Sometimes, for amusement, I wonder how long it will take for my H to stand on a chair and change them.
belgianwaffle
on 08 March 2006 at 22:54
Lilo, waiting in the dark, I assume. Kristin, excellent. Pog, I am most disappointed, I think of you as alarmingly handy (and now grey haired as well).SSC, worry not, I am just the bees knees.
poggle
on 09 March 2006 at 10:30
I am usually alarmingly handy, I must confess (she says completely immodestly) – but the little downlighter has defeated me. I plan to call in the electrician, who will wiggle his eyebrows and do that snort-down-the-nose-at-the-little-woman thing. Pah. And as I and lovely-temp-girl nipped out for ‘just the one’ after work, we both failed miserably in the covering up the grey hairs stakes last night. (If bonkers boss mentions it again today, he is toast ….)
Friar Tuck
on 09 March 2006 at 16:49
How many waffles does it take to change a light bulb?

poggle
on 09 March 2006 at 17:49
*glowers at FT*
Lilo
on 10 March 2006 at 20:36
Spot on. Actually, both the kitchen and sitting room are lit by 4 spotlights. It usually takes 2 of the lightbulbs to go before any action is taken (unless I do it, of course).
belgianwaffle
on 12 March 2006 at 21:08
FT, har. Pog, thank you for glowering, am relieved to hear of confirmation of handiness. Lilo, we’re down to one of 3 spotlights in the hall. Shortly, we’ll be going to bed in pitch darkness.

Perils of Parenthood


Posted in: Princess

We sat into the car the other day and the Princess said to me, ““I’Â’m sorry, hon, but I just did a wee in my car seat”.”

Comments
UndercoverCookie on 07 March 2006 at 11:58

oh that is sweet and er, yuck all at the same time.
poggle
on 07 March 2006 at 12:15
She is absolutely priceless. Hon.

kristin
(Homepage)
on 07 March 2006 at 13:42
Where did you FIND her?
a href=”http://www.20six.co.uk/pog”>poggle
on 07 March 2006 at 13:58
Now there’s a question ….

Minkleberry
on 07 March 2006 at 20:11
Ezra has taken to calling me by my first name with exactly the same condascending tone that his dad uses. It’s eery.
loadofoldtosh2
on 08 March 2006 at 09:23
Caption: In training!

belgianwaffle
on 08 March 2006 at 22:53
Loot, are you Jimi? I’m impressed that he can say Minkleberry, particularly in that tone of voice.
Thank you, I think, UC, pog, Kristin.
a href=”http://www.20six.co.uk/loadofoldtosh2″>loadofoldtosh2
on 09 March 2006 at 08:45
(picks a pale Jimi up off the floor) nope am not Jimi; the giveaway being that I was out of the country for a bit whilst Jimi was looking after a heavily pregnant Minks.

belgianwaffle
on 12 March 2006 at 21:06
OK, Loot, I believe you…