belgianwaffle

Princess

Fancy food


Posted in: Princess

When we mention things the Princess likes, she tends to demand them, e.g.

Me to Mr. W: Those biscuits we bought for Christmas last year were very nice.

Princess (ad nauseum): Bikkit? Bikkit? Bikkit! Bikkit!

So we spell exciting things, for example “have we got a b-o-t-t-l-e of wine for tonight?”

But she seems to have twigged that spelling involves things she likes so hence this evening as we persuaded her that she should try eating the slop we were offering:

“We have some s-a-l-m-o-n in the fridge, will we give it to her, if we’re desperate?”

Princess (cutting across her father): Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, my child likes smoked salmon.  Yeah, and if you think that’s odd, you should see her with venison.  When we were in Cork we had venison for dinner the night before we left and she really liked it.  There’s a child with notions.  So, anyway, I brought some cold venison on the plane for her lunch but, you know, I didn’t fancy saying on the plane “Would you like some venison, dear?” – yes, I have a sense of shame, why do you ask? – so I said “would you like some cold beef?”   She peered at the meat.  She took it in her chubby paw.  She chewed it. She spat it out and stuck it back in her mouth and then once she had swallowed said firmly and clearly “benison”.

Comments
demolitionlover

on 28 November 2004 at 22:38

smoked salmon is nice

Bobble

on 28 November 2004 at 22:49
(
Comment Modified) Mashed apple just doesn’t cut it in your house I guess?

jackdalton

on 29 November 2004 at 00:46
(
Comment Modified) Only as a garnish to pork steak probably… 😉

Locotes

on 29 November 2004 at 09:24

Never been too partial to the benison myself – give me the pork products any day. I get the sense herself could be a high-maintenance girlfriend in later life…
😉

NorahSplog

on 29 November 2004 at 11:50

She has such style! 1
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 29 November 2004 at 21:30

Hmm, I dunno Jojo, she is also very fond of olives. Is my baby the reincarnation of some deceased dedicated posh partyer?
Well, yes, demolition lover, smoked salmon is nice, but for a toddler? Bobble and JD, clearly not and frankly, Bobble as someone who is part Italian, it ill behoves you to frown at fancy eating. Locotes, must point out that among her less exalted tastes are “sausages!” and “bacon, bacon, bacon!” Norah, a sweetie, you are a kind and generous soul.

Bobble

on 29 November 2004 at 23:29

See see, I try and pretend to be British and fit in and, and… No, give them watered down wine – always worked in our house.

poggle

on 01 December 2004 at 14:54

We knew that, waffle – why else would she be called Princess?

belgianwaffle

on 01 December 2004 at 22:05

Bobble, I like that. Pog, you are right, as always..

Linnaean classification


Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Princess

Princess is taken from the bath. “Fish, fish” she says to me. “Where’s that plastic fish?” I ask her father. “Don’t know”. “Poisson, poisson” she says to him in increasingly unhappy tones. “Look” I say “have this”.� It’s a little container. “It’s not a fish” says Mr. Waffle. “No but it has a picture of a fish on the bottom” I say. “No, it hasn’t” he says. I point to the picture of a whale on the bottom. “Yes, I know” he says “but that isn’t a fish, it’s a cetacean”. “A what?” I say. Princess�claws for the container. “You know, a mammal. Whales are mammals, like dolphins”. Princess looks at him with an arrested look and he says to her “une baleine est un grand mammifère”. “Maifer” she says to me solemnly, pointing at the whale.

Comments
lauren35on 15 November 2004 at 20:26

Just to confuse her even more, tell her that “papa est aussi un grand mammif?re” …

poggleon 16 November 2004 at 12:28

You got me giggling, again, waffle. I love the princess.

belgianwaffleon 16 November 2004 at 14:33

Mike, I like that approach a lot. Lauren, your suggestion also has a lot going for it. Pog, am sure your laughter is sympathetic.

Bobbleon 16 November 2004 at 14:49

Has she started doing your cryptic crosswords yet?

poggleon 16 November 2004 at 15:25

Of course it is, waffle. Sympathetic and awestruck.

Disney Princesses


Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Princess

In the toy shop.

Princess identifies Disney toy doll “Sow Ite, Sow Ite”.

Me to Mr. Waffle “Look, that’s the first brand she’s recognised”.

Mr. Waffle “Snow White isn’t a brand she’s the heroine of a popular fairy tale”.

Who’s he trying to kid here?

]]>

Romance, Glamour and Excitement


Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Princess

Romance

Mr. Waffle and I went out to dinner last night in our favourite restaurant in Brussels.  It is small and full of velvet and mirrors and the food is fabulous.  It was cold and wet outside.  It was warm and candlelit inside. We held hands.  We stopped talking about the Princess for minutes at a time.

Glamour

For the night that was in it, I wore a rather daring (but subtle) outfit that I haven’t donned in a while. The babysitter (a middle aged Polish lady) raised her eyebrows, Mr. Waffle admired and the rather older gentlemen sitting on either side of us in the restaurant peered.

Excitement

When we came home, herself was up and playing with the babysitter. I took her into my arms and Mr. Waffle drove the babysitter home. I hadn’t even had time to take off my coat when the Princess vomited all over me – getting coat, outfit and, for good measure, boots.  Pausing only briefly to consider how many florets of broccoli she had swallowed whole, I began to mop up. When Mr. Waffle returned, it was to find his wife clad in a distinctly unglamourous dressing gown and playing with a wide-awake baby in the marital bed. Although she had been a bit upset at vomiting, within minutes she was her usual chirpy self. As a vomit veteran, she bounces back quickly.

Attempts to persuade madam that she might be better off in her own bed were unavailing, so the next hour was spent picking up doggy from the floor and passing the Princess from parent to parent before, finally, we all collapsed from exhaustion.

Comments
jackdalton

on 13 November 2004 at 17:00

A simple case of seeing off any possible opposition, by the sound of it…. 😉 1
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 13 November 2004 at 19:14

bw, see what you’ll be missing when you go back to work!
jd, as plausible as your theory sounds, it never worked with any of my dates.

belgianwaffle

on 13 November 2004 at 22:02

Sweeties and sympathy. Just what I needed. Thank you.

Arts and crafts


Posted in: Princess

Princess picks up a leaf and puts it in her trailer. I take it out saying it’s a bit shabby and she picks up another one.  Finally we have a trailer full of leaves that meet my stict criteria.

We go home and get out a sheet of paper and a glue stick. The Princess chews meditatively on the glue stick. I arrange the leaves in pretty patterns on the page. The Princess refuses to surrender the glue stick. I remove it from her by main force and use it to stick my pretty leaves on the sheet of paper. She wails throughout the procedure. I return the glue stick to her. She chews on it while removing my prettily patterned leaves from the page and wiping them one by one on her tights. There is a brief tussle wherein I use my superior force to remove from her little fists leaves, paper and glue stick.

When she goes for her nap, I stick back all the leaves on the paper, write her name and the date on the end of the sheet and hang it on the wall.

Is there something wrong with this picture?

Comments
NorahSplog

on 11 November 2004 at 13:51

Nope – not that I can see.
(That leaf she chose first was pretty manky.)

poggle

on 11 November 2004 at 13:59

She’ll sue. She will you know.

lauren35

on 11 November 2004 at 15:55

nah, she’s learning the valuable lesson that if you want something doing properly you’ve got to do it yourself…

Friar Tuck

on 11 November 2004 at 16:41

Art critics can be difficult that way.

belgianwaffle

on 12 November 2004 at 12:56

I fear that Pog has the right of it, but I like the way the rest of you are thinking.

Isn’t it obvious?


Posted in: Princess

Princess : Pees, pees.

Me: Sweetheart, would you like some ehm toast?

Princess: No (more insistently) pees, pees.

Mr. Waffle: Tu veux un biberon?

Me: No, she knows how to ask for a bottle.

Princess: Bockle, bockle, bockle.

Rush for the kitchen, Princess is presented with a bottle which she angrily dashes from the hand that feeds her.

Princess: Pees, pees, pees.

Me: Would you like some frozen peas? (She does sometimes, honestly).

Princess (in mounting volume and indignation): NO, pees, pees, pees.

She points imperiously to the cupboard.

Mr. Waffle: Tu veux un biscuit?

Princess smiles and nods. Biscuit is produced. She dashes it to the floor.

Princess: Pees, pees, pees. Points imperiously to cupboard where breakfast cereal is kept.

Me (hopefully): Rice krispies sweetheart?

Princess (vigourous head nodding):  Yes, oui, yeah, pees.

Comments
belgianwaffle

on 06 November 2004 at 12:32

Ah, you’re just bitter because of pog. Am I right in my understanding of your last post? You went to Limerick to be cheered up? Are you mad, man?? And I note that it is your blogging birthday. Happy anniversary.

jackdalton

on 06 November 2004 at 12:50
(
Comment Modified) Pog shmog…. I get over women easily. It’s getting out from under, without waking anyone that’s the ?1m challenge…
😉
And Limerick is grand in small doses; once or twice every ten years or so seems to work well for me…

Bobble

on 06 November 2004 at 14:09

Glad it’s not just me having communication problems today then.

Friar Tuck

on 06 November 2004 at 17:31

I guessed rice krispies immediately. Can’t understand why it wasn’t obvious to everyone.

lauren35

on 07 November 2004 at 19:24

I thought maybe she wanted a pea under her matress to prove she was a true princess..

belgianwaffle

on 08 November 2004 at 09:56

Bobble, regret your difficulties, did you too have trouble getting your breakfast cereal of choice from idiot parents? FT, you Americans are so smart. Lauren, I like that.

Bobble

on 08 November 2004 at 10:25

No my boyfriend delivered my breakfast of choice superbly (fruit museli) but my communication was not up to much with the polish builders who are making my life hell at the moment.

belgianwaffle

on 08 November 2004 at 10:50

Ah, alas, poor Bobble. I have been reading about your travails.

poggle

on 08 November 2004 at 12:40

Nice abbreviation from the Princess ….
And as for you, doc – ‘pog schmog’?
I’m gutted.

belgianwaffle

on 08 November 2004 at 13:52

No, no, pog, you’re not gutted, you’re absolutely indifferent to him. Also you know that deep down he adores you and would come back to you in a heartbeat if only you would have him.

poggle

on 08 November 2004 at 14:53

Yes of course. That’s exactly what I meant. Well spotted.