Archives for February 2021

Springing Forward

28 February, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Work

Monday, February 22, 2021

I continued to be crippled from my weird neck pain. My only comfort was my new top which had arrived in the post. Herself took one look at it and said, “It looks like scrubs.” And it does. I got a physio appointment that evening and though work was a bit frantic, I managed to sneak away like a thief in the night and get to my physio appointment. The physio thought my top looked like scrubs also. After some reasonably effective pummeling she sent me on my way and said she would email me exercises. On the plus side, I was home by daylight.

Top like scrubs: I’m afraid it’s only too true:

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Notwithstanding the effective physio, I found myself walking around like a turtle with my neck stuck out in front of me. The exercises arrived by email and I vowed to open them as soon as I got a chance. I got soaked cycling home from work in the lashing rain and the fence dividing our garden from the neighbours blew over. It was announced that Leaving Cert students would go back to school from Monday along with junior classes in primary school. Herself was broadly pleased. The boys were delighted with the news that they will be the last group back on 12 April.

We also have a Leaving Cert exam timetable. The excitement. To be honest, I’ve lost track as to when this arrived but recently anyhow. The certainty on exams is making things a bit less awful for herself. I hope that it will all go according to plan.

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

The Irish Times published a Sudoku supplement. They know their readers. I recently got the hard one out for the first time. Delighted with myself. Yes, this is where I am at. Your point?

They also published the latest road map for us to stick up on the radiator. As herself said “We have road maps for countries that never existed.”

For a smart girl, herself would surprise you on occasion. She said to me, “I’ve just realised that that story in the Bible about the workers and the vineyard was a parable.” “What did you think it was?” I asked. “An example of poor labour practices,” she said.

While we were dealing with matters religious she also said, “This family has eaten 14 creme eggs since the start of Lent, is this the spirit of the season?” Indeed.

Thursday, 25 February, 2021

It was an absolutely beautiful day and we all felt cheered. Next door’s plum tree blossom is out and it is, as always, a delight.

Friday, 26 February, 2021

Another beautiful day. My wellness pack arrived from work (I know what you’re thinking). There are some issues with the masks included.

Herself and myself went to the outdoor container for tea in the park (such are the available thrills) and I fielded slightly frantic calls from work. The boys and I then sat down to watch “The Two Towers” which is pretty lengthy but we’re committed now.

Saturday, 27 February, 2021

The weather continued to be absolutely beautiful. Michael and I cycled to the nearest patch of sea, contemplated it and cycled home again.

Ireland finally won a rugby match trouncing Italy. Daniel was delighted. I talked to my sister on the phone and when I asked for her news she said not to expect much as she was “leaning in to the pandemic low news bar”. I like to think that my blog has been doing this for some time.

Following emails all week telling me to open up the email from the physio and do my exercises, I opened it. It was all very swish. I had to download an app and there were videos of my exercises and a tracking yoke. I’m now dutifully doing them. I’m largely back to normal with the occasional twinge so a win, I suppose.

We watched Detective Pikachu for cinema night (Daniel’s choice) and, ok, it wouldn’t have been my first choice but, I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen worse.

Sunday, 28 February, 2021

Yet another beautiful day. Mr. Waffle and I had a very pleasant cycle to a park I had never been to before other than to drop Daniel off to training. Signs of spring were everywhere and not a moment too soon.

On our way home, Mr. Waffle took me down a little cul de sac to show me a delightful old Protestant church I had never seen before. It’s dedicated to St. Mobhi (of whom, I expect you’ve never heard) but he was teacher to the stars including (big name here) St. Colmcille, St. Canice and St Ciarán of Clonmacnoicse; a veritable who’s who of early monastic names. Hoping to get back and get inside when things re-open.

As we were cycling home, we ran into a friend of mine from Monday night bookclub and her husband out for a walk. They had Covid 4 months ago and he still can’t taste or smell and she still looks a bit wan to me (that could be endless winter of course). He’s English and his elderly father in Sheffield is due to get his second jab next week so relief all round (and a certain amount of envy at the efficiency of the British system but, really, a good British vaccination system is very good for us too).

I had my Sunday bookclub which wasn’t bad but the novelty of online bookclub has really worn off.

When I got off the call, I found Michael in the garden reading his book. He was outraged when I informed him that while this met part a of my demands (fresh air), it failed to meet the threshold for part b (and exercise). He and Dan played some basketball but it’s fair to say he was pretty unenthused.

We gave away the boys’ old bikes via the street whatsapp group. I cannot tell you how nice it was to see children from the road cycling off on them. I am delighted with the space in the garage as well. Still no one wants the complete sets of pristine Junior Cert Irish language text books and past papers in the shed awaiting a forever home. Alas.

We finished up our week of adventure with a zoom call with the relatives. The Londoners actually have real news, they’re moving house in March and my sister-in-law’s new novel is nearly finished. Busy lives. My sister-in-law in Dublin had us all in stitches describing how my nephew’s online mock exams for the Junior Cert nearly killed them all. It was the combination of the technological challenges and the descriptions of the hopping parents’ whatsapp group that made it all worthwhile.

An email has just arrived from the school saying that they they look forward to welcoming the sixth years back in the morning. It adds, ominously, that assembly will be held in the new outdoor classroom and the children are advised to wear coats.

And how was your own latest lockdown week? Any news?

A Further Week in February

21 February, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Family, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, February 15, 2021

I bought daffodils at the weekend and Daniel asked, “Are they supposed to look like asparagus?” Oh child of little faith.

I listened to a podcast about Amazon’s resistance to unionisation and felt smug. I haven’t bought anything from Amazon for a number of years. Herself made us boycott it because of their unsatisfactory labour practices. Although I do miss the convenience of one click a bit (I can’t lie), I am sustained by my inner smugness and the knowledge that I am making a conscious effort to buy from Irish shops gives me an additional smug glow.

I forgot to bring my wallet to work and I didn’t even need it. Everything I might need seems to be on my phone. This is a bit unnerving but handy, I must confess.

My friend in Vermont sent me pictures of herself and her sons skiing (at my request) and it filled me with joy. And the sun shone which was great but it would be even better if it hadn’t rained all weekend.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021 – Pancake Tuesday

My sister sent us up a package. Great excitement. It contained, inter alia the €90 jumper which I had bought my father for Christmas and sent to her for safekeeping. Unnecessary in the event. I gave it to Michael as he was the only one of the menfolk it would fit and while I wouldn’t necessarily have spent €90 on a cashmere jumper for Michael, he does look very nice in it and has worn it voluntarily of his own accord. I am sure that my father would have been pleased.

The weather was positively springlike. There were exciting Gategate developments. The gates were installed and I was given a fob. Meanwhile in the whatsapp group a message appeared from one of the opponents asking ominously, but perhaps not unreasonably:

Hi all – I noticied that two sets of lane gates have been installed (one set seems permanently shut). What news about key fobs/pin code/cost and payment?

Everyone in the whatsapp group ignored this message.

We had pancakes after dinner.

Wednesday, February 17, 2020 – Ash Wednesday

The weather was beautiful again. The bishops told us to burn last year’s palm to make ashes but appear to have forgotten that getting to mass/getting palm last year was a bit problematic. We went ash free but I did notice some colleagues with ashes on zoom calls during the day; clearly they had access to some kind of underground supply (insert your own jokes here).

Follow-up message from ignored neighbour re Gategate arrived:

Henry Kissinger once asked: “Who do I call if I want to call Europe?” I might ask similar of access to the lane for say garden maintenance/delivery person etc. ….Access should not be arbitrarily decided.

The group admin (who I suspect really regrets setting up this group now) suggested that irate neighbour contact another neighbour to which he replied:

The problem is that we are not sure about anything concerning the lane gates. It must be asked “Why so?”

The brilliant though perhaps headstrong and impetuous neighbour who installed the gates himself and intends to collect money afterwards replied at length to which irate neighbour replied:

At long last! When can we expect fobs and code for the closed gate? We should not have to seek you out.

This caused the rest of us, craven but grateful, to pile in and say how pleased we were with the gates and how it had been perfectly obvious that they were being installed over the previous month. Irate neighbour replied that while the gates were good (!) he had been left out and

Bush Telegraph is just not good enough in this day and age.

Anyway, the upshot is a new whatsapp group for the lane. I dread to think what the reaction will be when irate neighbour discovers that the new gates are going to cost each household money. Meanwhile I’ve been sailing in and out on my bike, clicking away on my fob. The lane is delightfully clean.

Patrick Kavanagh’s poem Epic springs to mind.

I have lived in important places, times
When great events were decided; who owned
That half a rood of rock, a no-man’s land
Surrounded by our pitchfork-armed claims.
I heard the Duffys shouting ‘Damn your soul!’
And old McCabe stripped to the waist, seen
Step the plot defying blue cast-steel –
‘Here is the march along these iron stones’
That was the year of the Munich bother. Which
Was more important? I inclined
To lose my faith in Ballyrush and Gortin
Till Homer’s ghost came whispering to my mind.
He said: I made the Iliad from such
A local row. Gods make their own importance.

In other whatsapp news, my firstborn child is definitely well ahead of me in matters literary. I had the following exchange after listening to a podcast.

I was in touch with her as it was, yet another, critical week for news in relation to Leaving Cert 2021. The solution which may yet founder is quite good she thinks with a combination of teacher grades and exam grades and you get whichever is better.

The Junior Cert has been cancelled and I asked my sister-in-law how my nephew was taking the news. Apparently he has told her that every day between now and the end of next year is Friday afternoon, so he is pleased, I think.

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Another beautiful day. Herself thought she might try reading Dante’s Inferno. She was trying to find an online translation and came across a link to a site which said, “Dante’s Inferno, Best Available Tactics, 9 hours”. She had never heard of reading tactics before and she was curious so she clicked through. Apparently Dante’s Inferno is a video game as well. Who knew? Anyway, it turns out that the Inferno consists of 8 books of 400 pages each so she’s lost interest a bit. It looks like a lot more than 9 hours even with best available tactics.

I was going to give up instagram for Lent but herself said that she would put a limit on my phone so I couldn’t use it after 6. I’m delighted. I’ve given up biscuits again instead.

Mr. Waffle has bought a new bike and hasn’t yet disposed of the old one. The shed now looks like this. We have 8 bikes for the five of us and I’m thinking of getting a new bike myself. Is this wise?

Friday, February 19, 2021

Having just completed quite a bit of paperwork to stick with Ulster Bank for our mortgage, I wasn’t entirely delighted to hear that they are pulling out of the Irish market. “How can they?” said herself, “Is there an Ulster somewhere else?”

Having been beautiful all week, the weather turned and it started to rain.

Saturday, February 20, 2021

The weather was shocking. I managed to put my neck out while swinging my now irritatingly long (last cut December 2019) hair out of my face. An idiotic injury. Two of the kids on the road got surrounded by a rough bunch of teenagers in the local park and had to leg it home to safety. Not a particular cheering day. My neck basically wedged stuck during cinema night (“Little Women” not bad but not universally popular) and I went hunchbacked to bed.

Sunday, February 21, 2021

We woke up to sunny weather. What a delight. Mr. Waffle and I went for a really lovely long cycle in the park. Although my neck was still really sore from my hair flicking injury, it seemed that the angle for cycling and resting my weight on my hands worked really well. I went for a brief walk with herself in the afternoon and the boys and I watched “The Fellowship of the Ring” which we had all seen before but enjoyed very much. In short a much better Sunday than Saturday. Alas, my neck is still a bit sore – you should know that I am writing this with my chin pointing at my knees which is sub optimal. If I’m not better in the morning, I suppose it’s the physio for me. Alas.

Another Week of Fascinating Doings and Derring-Do*

14 February, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, February 8, 2021

Daniel and Michael have been set a series of tasks by their Transition Year co-ordinator for this week. One of them is to walk 10,000 steps each day from Monday to Sunday. As I pushed my bike into the shed, at about 7 in the evening I was nearly given heart failure by Michael jumping out and saying “Boo!” He did his 10,000 steps in circles in the back garden in the dark, in the rain. I am not sure that this was what was envisaged.

Herself finally finished Middlemarch after an epic struggle. I read it when I was about her age and absolutely loathed it. I read it because some smart young man in college said to me, “Oh lots of people read Silas Marner and then they never read any other George Eliot because Silas Marner is so dreadful but Middlemarch is wonderful.” Note that we’d all read Silas Marner because it was on the Leaving Cert English course. I wanted to love Middlemarch but I did not. Then when I was about 24 another young man said to me, “You must re-read Middlemarch it’s so wonderful about relationships, you would love it, you were probably too young to appreciate it at 17.” Age of grey beard recommending this course of action: probably 25. But I was flattered and I read it again. Like a fool. I learnt a number of valuable lessons in this process. I won’t be reading it again anyway.

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

We had some very mild snow. It was cold though. I dressed myself up like Paddington and cycled in to work. This is probably the nearest I will get to skiing this year. Sigh.

The cousins, who live near the Dublin mountains, went cycling in the snow. There was loads of snow in the mountains and it looked excellent although my nephew was wearing shorts which must surely have been freezing. I mean what is it about teenage boys and their love of shorts?

Daniel tells me that he is the only boy of his age (in the world?) who wears jeans because I buy them. Everyone else is in sports gear all the time. Could this be true? To clarify, Daniel is in lycra almost all the time but he does have a couple of pairs of jeans.

My friend from Belfast tells me that his first cousin was the baddie in “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Because Ireland is like this, I am only mildly surprised.

Michael walked 10,000 steps in the bedroom, like a frantic prisoner pacing in a cell. He appeared to regard it as a more satisfactory alternative than Daniel’s solution of running 12 km outside.

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

The Wifi at home was intermittently poor all day. Herself rang me at lunchtime at the end of her tether having been kicked out of her online classes four times. Ireland’s broadband providers are useless. We’ve signed her up for unlimited data on her phone so that she can at least go to classes via her hotspot should the need arise. Honestly, my poor children, they have enough problems to cope with.

As part of their Transition Year challenge, Daniel and Michael had to make brownies. Daniel went out to buy eggs but said, dolefully, on his return, “I could only find these tiny ones.” He’d picked up 24 quail eggs from the Moldovan shop around the corner. Michael announced that he wasn’t going to make brownies. “Why are you still doing your 10,000 steps per day then?” I asked. “Sunk cost fallacy,” he said gloomily.

The Princess is entertaining herself by reading one star reviews on goodreads. Today she read reviews for No Bones by Anna Burns. I haven’t read it, but herself is a big Anna Burns fan and tells me that the book is set in Northern Ireland during the Troubles. The reviewer wants to know why the author constantly refers to the Troubles but never explains what the trouble is. Oh how we laughed.

Thursday, February 11, 2021

My friend in Brussels sent me three prints out of the blue for no reason. How lovely it is to have kind friends because February is proving trying. I was delighted.

Friday, February 12, 2021

My sister is underwhelmed by my Bohemian Rhapsody story. She tells me that her friend from Blarney is Freddie Mercury’s second cousin. Honestly, it’s true. The father’s first cousin married a Cork man and he brought her home. Now so.

The kids have mid-term next week. We rejoice. We’re all sick of online learning.

Saturday, February 13, 2021

We spoke to the London relations and my English brother-in-law said that he once sat on Anita Dobson’s lap at a pantomime. I am practically a member of the band at this stage; I plan to ignore anyone arguing that these are tenuous Queen connections.

Herself and myself walked to Tesco and tried out our new masks from We Make Good (recommended) and I bought myself some flowers. Thrills.

We had Date Night for film night which was forgettable but not unfunny.

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Mr Waffle bought me flowers for Valentine’s Day. As he said, you can’t have too many flowers.

We went for a walk around the block together (4.19 kms- everyone is counting steps now) in the lashing rain. There’s love for you.

My friend who lives in America rang for a chat and we spent an hour exchanging every iota of news we have which is almost none since we last spoke just after Christmas. Sigh. At least she’s been vaccinated.

Ireland lost in the rugby again. Alas. While Dan and Mr. Waffle were watching the match, Michael and the Princess and I went out for a forced march in the afternoon (Michael still making up his steps) and it was relatively pleasant as the rain held off. Small wins, lads.

I trust your own Valentine’s Day passed off peacefully.

*This is a lie, I’m afraid, but you’ve probably worked that out already.

Reading etc.

10 February, 2021
Posted in: Reading etc.

A Pocket Full of Rye by Agatha Christie

Daniel brought 12 Agatha Christie books home from the charity shop where he was doing some Transition Year work experience. They only cost €5. Money broadly well spent. I have only the vaguest recollection of what this one was about. But definitely a Miss Marple. Enjoyable in an Agatha Christie kind of way.

4.50 from Paddington by Agatha Christie

In fairness, you know what you’re going to get with Agatha Christie and, generally you get it. This is no exception. I’d forgotten how competently she writes. I mean, you are not distressed by grammatical errors or very unhappy turns of phrase.

The Mirror Crack’d from Side to Side by Agatha Christie

Another enjoyable story from Ms. Christie.

The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie

A classic which I have definitely read a couple of times before but so convoluted that I couldn’t remember who the murderer was. Our first sighting of Poirot so of interest for that reason alone.

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie

Sadly, I did remember the murderer here as it is so unusual. This makes it distinctly less good but very clever, if you don’t know.

One Two Buckle my Shoe by Agatha Christie

At this point, I was thinking that perhaps a break in my Christie consumption might be no harm.

Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie

I found the narrator here particularly irritating. The story is entertaining overall but, ferociously racist. I am indebted to my loving spouse for the information that Mesopotamia means between two rivers from the Greek and that’s where we get hippopotamus as well (this was in answer to my question, “Where exactly is Mesopotamia?” so not as useful as you might imagine). And I thought his classical education was wasted.

I decided that an Agatha break might be opportune at this point.

The Girls by Emma Cline

This is about a girl who ends up briefly joining a commune in the 60s and then someone is murdered. It’s very well written, in fairness, and has had rave reviews but I found it miserable and unsettling. I wouldn’t recommend.

The Stairlift Ascends: Tweets from a Covid Cocoon by Helen O’Rahilly

This isn’t even really a book – just a collection of tweets – but anyone who deals regularly with elderly, physically frail but mentally robust relatives would enjoy it.

The Searcher by Tana French

I love Tana French but I didn’t love this book. It’s not bad, but it didn’t engage me the way some of her earlier books did. It’s about a retired US police officer who ends up trying to solve a case in the west of Ireland. Very unsentimental about rural Ireland which I quite liked.

Born to be Mild by Rob Temple

This is by the guy who does the “Very British Problems” stuff which I find mildly funny and that’s what I was looking for here but it wasn’t quite what I got. It’s autobiographical and it is a bit funny in places but it is also pretty sad – the author has had quite serious mental health problems and the book is about his recovery. Pretty gloomy in spots.

The Hanging Tree by Ben Aaronovitch

More adventures of Peter Grant, the magic policeman, his girlfriend the river and so on. This one wasn’t bad.

Lies Sleeping by Ben Aaronovitch

More Peter Grant. This one features bells. Not bad.

The Furthest Station by Ben Aaronovitch

This is a Peter Grant novella featuring ghosts. I quite enjoyed it.

The October Man by Ben Aaronovitch

This is about the German magic police and set in Trier. I enjoyed it. Peter Grant does not feature but his German counterpart does know about his existence. Ben Aaronovitch’s car/parking obsession is yet again prominent and beginning to get on my nerves. His German detective in Trier has to walk the last 100m to a rendez-vous as the Platz is pedestrianised. I cannot imagine a German giving out about this. Annoying.

False Value by Ben Aaronovitch

Peter Grant is undercover and the book is, in my view, unsuccessful. It’s about computers and it doesn’t hang together particularly well. Disappointing.

The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff

There was an article about this series of books about Roman Britain in the ever-lovely Slightly Foxed. I thought I would give them a try. This is the first in the series and I can see how if you read it at the right age, it would be great and bear repeated re-reading. I’m just not the right age and it didn’t work for me but I would be keen to press it on an 11 year old.

Her Royal Spyness Solves her First Case by Rhys Brown

A friend of mine picked this up in a book exchange at work. A detective story set in the 20s, the detective is an impoverished aristocrat who is something like 40th in line for the throne. Not for me but not awful.

You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld

Curtis Sittenfeld is always good. These short stories are all good though not exactly heartwarming.

No One Now Will Know by E M Delafield

This is such an odd book. Firstly, I found it on my bedside table. How did it get there? Did I buy it? Was it a present? Did it come from my parents’ house? No idea. It’s by the author of the brilliant, hilarious “Provinical Lady” series. I have read another of her more serious books, “Consequences”, and found it quite sad. This was the same. But although, it was first published in 1941 there’s something very Victorian about the melodramatic plot. It’s written backwards, starting in 1939 and going back to the 1870s. In the first part of the book we follow 12 year old Callie who, after her grandmother dies, leaves Barbados to a new life in England with her cousins. Happily, and quite unusually in this kind of fiction in my experience, they’re lovely and all is well but there are dark hints of a mystery associated with her parents. In the second half of the book we find out what happened to her parents. The interest in the book lies more in its mood than its plot and I find myself unsure whether I would recommend it or not. Interesting though.

Yet Another Round Up

7 February, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Siblings

Monday, 1 February, 2021

Honestly, less and less seems to be happening all the time. It’s St. Bridget’s Day, the first day of spring and my mother’s birthday. Rain continues. I think of the poem my mother always used to quote at this times of year but it feels quite inaccurate.

Anois teacht an Earraigh
beidh an lá dúl chun shíneadh,
Is tar eis na féil Bríde
ardóigh mé mo sheol.

Tuesday, 2 February, 2021

The parents’ council zoom meeting was cancelled. We rejoice.

However, absolute highlight of the day is the whatsapp exchange below with Mr. Waffle. He’s hilarious.

Wednesday, 3 February, 2021

The weather is finally springy; I feel heartened. I absolutely love seeing the Guards doing the Jerusalema challenge. I am feeling less curmudgeonly than previously.

Thursday, 4 February, 2021

Back to the endless rain, alas, yesterday’s temporary morale improvement was clearly only a blip.

Friday, 5 February, 2021

I joined Revolut and feel like a trendy young person.

It was my brother’s birthday and as we had the screen up for film night, we decided to talk to him on the big screen. Not as satisfactory as you might expect. He seemed in great form anyhow.

We saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it was, aside from firmly held views on both sides of the question as to whether you can sing along to musical numbers in a film, broadly successful.

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Like much of the world, I have become fascinated by the Handforth Parish Council meeting. Herself and Mr. Waffle say it is a bad thing and feel sorry for the people involved. I know they are right but, it’s just irresistible. My personal favourite parody is the rendition as a musical. One of my colleagues is going to try to include some of the lines in a meeting next week and I am quite excited at the prospect.

Given the amount of time I appear to have spent looking at viral internet content, I probably needed a break. I went to the park for a walk in the rain with a friend. I mean more nice than not nice but walking in the rain just isn’t optimal and I don’t want any of this “there’s no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing” commentary.

I washed the kitchen floor. It was time. Everyone in the family thanked me. I felt like a super-hero. The tiles don’t show the dirt at all which is broadly a good thing but has its drawbacks.

I had my Monday night zoom book club (yeah, I know, on a Saturday, the world’s gone crazy). We were almost all there and none of us had any news. We’re all fed up. We’ve decided to read a book for next month; we’d kind of given up on book reading lately but are now throwing ourselves into it with renewed enthusiasm.

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Herself went for a cycle in the park with her friend and came back two hours later frozen to the bone. The boys, Mr. Waffle and I went to the Botanic Gardens yet again, looking for signs of spring (they are few, I can tell you). It snowed on us on the cycle home.

Mr. Waffle and Dan watched the rugby. Ireland lost. A Cork man became the first ever Irish person to get a red card in the Six Nations. Hard to be proud of this one.

I found this chutney at the back of the press and had some with cheese this afternoon. I’m still alive.

Lads, are we there yet? Townmouse said at one stage in a comment, that if you live through historic times, you might as well record them and I agree. I just didn’t realise how spectacularly dull it would be. Alas. I trust there are better times ahead.