Mr. Waffle

Light at the End of the Tunnel

2 May, 2021 7 Comments
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, April 19, 2021

I put away my winter clothes and took out my summer clothes. I was not super-skinny last summer so it was with some dismay that I discovered that a pair of trousers which were loose last year will no longer close. Alas. I blame take-away night.

The principal of the school sent an email to all parents outlining how children should behave to ensure that they are safe walking, cycling and getting the bus to school. At no point did he mention that cars create a lot of the danger, in fact, he made it look like the only safe way to get to school was by car. I was annoyed. I sent an email to the school pointing out that we are supposed to be a healthy school which is fighting climate change and this is hardly a helpful message. Everyone else in the family laughed at me. Have I tipped over the edge into blinkered single-issue pressure group type person? I would prefer not to know, I think.

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

We all very much enjoyed the European Super League story which, Daniel, as our sports expert in chief explained to us in detail over dinner.

An old friend of my father’s (they first met in 1943 when he was 16 and my father was 18) rang to say that he had written a short memoir of my father and would I like it? I did like it, very much. It was a very kind thing to have done. I am happy to report that the author is a very sprightly 94 year old. While I knew many of the stories he told of my father, it was so interesting to see some things I had never heard at all and to hear the familiar stories from one of his contemporaries rather than as told to his family. The children really liked it as well.

I think about my father every day. I feel the world is a poorer place for not having him in it. There’s a Cork guy who does these funny videos about the Cork upper middle classes (a complex and intricate group – Cork is the place that gave us the merchant princes and the lines: No snob like a Cork snob and the haves and the have yachts). He often begins by addressing people as “old stock”. My father used that expression a lot – it seems to have fallen out of favour now but it was common when I was younger. Every time his videos start “Hello, old stock” I feel a little bit sad. Also, the man who makes the videos was a couple of years ahead of me in College. He was a popular debater, a lanky red head and I was appalled by how old he’s got in the 32 years or so since I last saw him. I digress. I haven’t been to Cork since my father’s funeral in December and I’m finding that pretty hard.

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Uneventful.

Thursday, April 22, 2021

The boys had a treasure hunt on bikes in the park. Now that they’re back in school and things are relaxing a bit, their Transition Year experience is belatedly getting going. They had a good time.

We turned off the Aga.

The principal called me and said I was absolutely right about his email on travelling to school and he would bear my comments in mind for future communications. Vindicated! Or perhaps he’s just scared of my single-minded lunacy?

Friday, April 23, 2021

My friend asked whether Mr. Waffle and I would like to do a reading of Hamlet over zoom with half a dozen of his friends. It’s more fun than it sounds, said he. I hope so because we agreed to do it.

Saturday, April 24, 2021

It was an absolutely beautiful day. I persuaded Mr. Waffle to cycle out to Dun Laoghaire with me. This has been a long-held ambition of mine as I want to test the cycle infrastructure which has been much discussed in the letters pages of the Irish Times (which purports to be a national newspaper, snort). Imagine my horror when, arriving in Sandymount to test the segregated cycle lane which has been written about in the letters page for the last year, I discovered that it has not yet been built. I can only imagine the post bag it will generate if they ever actually go ahead and build it.

In fairness, from Booterstown onwards, provision was pretty good but that was near the end of our trek.

We had an ice cream on the pier when we got there. I wanted two flakes in my 99 (judge away) and the man in the booth said, “I’m going to have to charge you for the second flake.” Unsurprising but he explained that he was on his last box and all of the ice cream shops were running out. “The flakes were on the boat that got stuck in the Suez canal and there’s a shortage everywhere.” How’s that for an interconnected world for you?

We got the DART back to town with our bikes. It’s probably the first time I’ve been on public transport in about a year but it was grand.

My friend in Brussels tells me that she will be getting her jab on Tuesday. It is so thrilling to be nearing the end of the road on this one.

Sunday April 25, 2021

Encouraged by the excitement of our Saturday trip to Dun Laoghaire, I persuaded herself to cycle out to Howth which is a seaside town about 15kms north of our house.

The cycling infrastructure was really terrific. We were off road beside the sea for most of the journey. The tide was in and the views were beautiful but there was a strong headwind which made the trip hard work. It took us about an hour and a half.

When we got there we queued for an hour and a half for chips from Beshoff’s. Honestly, if I had known how long it would take when we started I would never have gone there. To my horror, there was a further queue for collection after you reached the top of the queue for ordering. Disastrous. We were ravenous by the time we got our chips and frozen after queuing in the shadows. However, we perked up after eating and were able to walk the length of the town admiring the sea views. A kind guard took a break from trying mildly to break up large groups to direct us to the public toilets. They had both soap and toilet paper: a real win.

We got the Dart home. More public transport excitement.

My sister-in-law in England got an appointment for her vaccine. V. thrilling.

Monday April 26, 2021

Mr. Waffle cycled to his mother’s nursing home in Monkstown in 45 minutes so half an hour less than it took him to cycle there at the weekend with me. On the other hand, he’d never have cycled at all if I hadn’t shown him how quickly it could be done. So, a win for me.

My neighbour, born on the street and residents’ committee stalwart, died. She was fine until February but then she had a stroke and when she went into hospital, they found she had cancer and she went into a nursing home. Pretty miserable couple of months, I imagine but she was very well up to then and I’d say she was in her 80s.

Someone I know through blogging told me that someone else I sort of knew, someone about my own age – with children of an age with mine – has got cancer and gone into palliative care. Even though I didn’t know this person, it felt like I did a bit and it seems so very sad.

A colleague told me that her husband (who is a bit older) has been vaccinated. The delight.

I had lunch in the park with a former colleague and it felt normal sitting there in the sunshine exchanging gossip. A harbinger of things to come, I hope.

The extremely expensive new bin didn’t close when I went to put something into it and I spent half an hour before bed embracing it trying to persuade it to close with the same smooth action as earlier. A romantic end to the day.

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

A colleague texted me in the morning asking could I cover a meeting for him as he had been summoned to the nursing home where his father had slipped into a coma. I think our age brings a lot of dying parents. Grim and Covid makes it all grimmer.

Michael sent us a pdf of the book that his year wrote with the creative writing centre. He was delighted with himself. He had two short stories in it and there will be a hard copy in due course (reasonably limited print run). The forward was written by Sheila O’Flanagan where she dutifully name checks all of the young authors and their work. “I didn’t realise Sheila O’Flanagan was involved,” said I. “Yeah,” said Michael, “and there were a couple of other authors too but I can’t remember their names. None of them was as much fun as Roddy Doyle.” The little ingrate. I’m really grateful to all these authors who gave their time to this for, as far as I can tell, no reward (we certainly didn’t pay anything, perhaps they get a grant from the arts council – I hope so).

Hallelujah, the GAA is back and Daniel went out to training. He really missed it. Also, I call on you to admire how many of the under-16s are cycling to training. Very gratifying.

Dan had his last day of his outside school TY course. The whole thing was online and it was a bit grim. Herself did the same course when she was in Transition Year and once a week trekked out to the university campus where it was held and made loads of like minded friends. It was just a much less good experience for poor Dan. What about Michael you may ask. Well, I suggested that he might do the exam to get in but he said, “What, an exam to do more school work, are you mad?” So that was that.

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Our neighbour’s funeral is on Friday and the hearse is going to drive up the road and all the neighbours are going to stand outside their houses which is nice. Another neighbour sent details of when the funeral home was open for viewing the body explaining that the funeral home couldn’t advertise this due to Coronavirus restrictions. Some issues there, I feel.

At work, myself and a colleague discovered that we had learnt all the same poetry by heart for the Leaving Cert and to the bemusement of younger colleagues began to quote it. Apparently, they learnt no poetry off by heart although one of them was able to quote by heart some of the notes on the poems which they had been forced to learn. Hardly a satisfactory development. My progress towards crazy old lady is proceeding apace you will observe.

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Another new road map has been published. I will be able to register for vaccination next week. To register to get vaccinated and not to actually get vaccinated but it’s definitely a cheering prospect.

The boys had a driving instructor come to the school and they drove around the school yard and learnt how to change a tyre, add coolant and top up windscreen cleaning fluid. They also found out how much insurance costs and how to get a quote for it (the boys in the class were outraged by how much cheaper it is for girls); how much motor tax is; and how to pass the driving test including sitting a mock theory test. They had a great time. What a shame they couldn’t have been doing this kind of thing all year. In fairness, their Transition Year co-ordinator seems to be packing in as much as he possibly can into the last weeks of the year.

Friday, April 30, 2021

The start of the May bank holiday weekend, hurrah! When I got home from work, Michael was in the kitchen. He was unpacking the shopping unaided as everyone else was out. He was in great form. They’ve been making a film in school and he plays a guard. The Gardaí came in from the local station to talk to them about investigative techniques and to allow them to use the Garda car as a prop for one of their scenes. Taking community policing to the next level.

I went into the study to fetch a pen and there was Mr. Waffle in a conference call, when I checked Daniel and herself were both upstairs. Michael was surprised but indifferent. He thought they were out. In fact, shortly after, herself hurtled out the door to meet a friend in the park. She had a great time but her friend is an inveterate walker and walked the legs off her. Good for her as I helpfully pointed out. This is what mothers are for.

My lilac has come out in the garden and I am delighted. Herself said, “I can see you having a beautiful garden when you retire and have more time to spend there.” I was quite flattered but also vaguely insulted as, you know, I don’t think of retirement as exactly imminent.

Mr. Waffle tells me that the cat came into the kitchen at lunch time with another mouse in her jaws. I like to think that she is catching them outside the house but I fear that I’m only fooling myself. Anyway Mr. Waffle picked her up by her midriff and tossed her (mouse and all) out the front door and when she came back the mouse was gone. Frankly, I doubt that this ended well for the mouse.

As the economy is beginning to re-open and my waistline expansion has to end, we had our last Friday night take-away. We were all pretty cheerful about it as it feels like it heralds a return to normality.

Saturday, May 1, 2021

Herself went off for a long cycle with a friend and came back in great form. Daniel had training and also came back in a very good mood. I was so glad for them. They have had a long hard lock down. Michael has quite enjoyed it really.

While the others were out, Michael volunteered to top up the reserve for cleaning the windscreen in the car applying his lessons from earlier in the week. I hovered while he tipped in a small amount from the tiny bottle. “That seems like hardly any,” I said. “No, you’re only supposed to put in a quarter of the bottle,” he insisted. “Nonsense,” said I, I can see there’s a massive reservoir down there.” I tipped the lot in. “For someone who didn’t know how to to do this, you seem to have very strong views,” said Michael crossly. He had the last laugh anyway – it’s concentrated and the small bottle needed five litres of water which definitely did not fit in the container under the bonnet. Look, how bad is a soapy windscreen for a while? It’s always raining here anyway.

We had our first night of Hamlet over zoom. God, I love my friends but it was tough going. I am not cut out for Shakespeare over zoom. Or possibly for Shakespeare at all. My friend M who has a lovely voice sang “We’ll keep the red flag flying” at the end given the day that was in it and that was possibly a highlight.

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Building on the success of last weekend, Mr. Waffle, Daniel and I cycled to Howth. Daniel had agreed to do this in a moment of weakness and was resigned to his fate. It was extremely successful. Firstly, the wind was behind us and it took us only about an hour to get out which compares pretty well with driving to be honest. When we got there, we did not go to Beshoff’s. We went to Wright’s which was pricier but had no queue. They gave us a little buzzer and we were able to walk the pier and look at the seals while we were waiting for our food. V satisfactory.

We got the Dart home again. Delighted with myself. We have put off the cleaning rota to tomorrow as it is, apparently, going to rain and there will be nothing else to do. I feel that this is unwise but I can’t face it this evening. I am looking forward to when we can have our cleaner back.

We have the second part of Hamlet this evening at 7.30. Alas alack.

I trust that you too are getting closer to vaccination or, better yet, are vaccinated already. Give me your vaccine good news stories.

Easter!

7 April, 2021 4 Comments
Posted in: Belgium, Boys, Cork, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Monday March 29, 2021

We persist in watching “Charité” a German TV series with German subtitles (for added effort). It’s set in the 1880s and its about a hospital in Berlin. It’s hard going and despite my friend who speaks excellent German reassuring me that there is lots of useful domestic vocabulary we are all struggling to see how herself will work the word “Kaiserschnitt” into her German oral.

The evenings feel delightfully long now that the clocks have gone back.

Monday evening is forage night (everyone makes his/her own dinner from the fridge contents – don’t judge) and Daniel usually makes himself pizza. He’s got very handy at making the dough. He said to me as he kneaded, “I couldn’t find the yeast so I’m going to try without.” At one level my children astonish me with their competence, at another level, not so much. We found the yeast.

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

There is a new announcement about the very slow lifting of Covid restrictions. Nothing is changing before April 12 when we may be able to go as far as 10kms from home.

A very expensive Easter hamper from a nice hotel was advertised to me on instagram and, reader, I bought it.

Wednesday, March 31, 2021 – Spy Wednesday

The bathroom door broke. I’m not sure whether that constitutes an emergency in Covid times but we had a man in to fix it all the same. Apparently it took ages according to Mr. Waffle and the kids who were all confined to their work spaces for the duration of his visit while I was off in the office. He put it back opening the other way (at our request) and I am delighted with the increased feeling of spaciousness. To be clear, the bathroom remains tiny.

My camellia has finally produced several flowers. I am unreasonably delighted.

We got a notification that there was a Covid case in the school. What would once have been shocking is now a matter of general indifference. Though not a great sign with only two of the six years back in school.

The Government got into trouble in the matter of children’s shoes. Although initially shoes were deemed non-essential retail, now children’s shoes can be purchased in person and an appointment made for fitting. It appears that the Government were nervous about the surprisingly significant role children’s shoes play in Irish politics.

The neighbourhood whatsapp group started to spiral out of control following some vandalism incidents. To my lasting admiration, one of the neighbours called out the language being used. Everyone is back to asking whether anyone knows a good plumber; how to keep the road clean and virtual Easter egg hunts. A relief.

Thursday, April 1, 2021 – Holy Thursday

The first day of my Easter holidays and April’s fool day. I failed to fool herself or Daniel but I did persuade Mr. Waffle that the new bathroom door had come off its hinges. As I pointed out to herself, the relief made it net hugely enjoyable for him. She was unsure. So was he.

Herself spent the morning crafting an application for a summer internship (she is not optimistic but you never know) and imagining a world where the Leaving Cert was over. Then she and I had a very satisfactory urban plunge. We went to Fallon and Byrne (food); Marks and Spencer (more food); Sheridan’s (cheese) and Clement and Pekoe (tea) which were pretty much the only places open. In the course of lock down I have been regularly reminded of this line from Alistair Horne’s book “The Siege of Paris”:

“When in October a copy of the Journal De Rouen was somehow smuggled into the city, and reprinted in extenso, Child remarked that ‘whoever had said 3 months ago that a Provincial paper a fortnight old arriving in Paris would cause a sensation would have been laughed at; however such was the case’.”

Thursday is property supplement day in the Irish Times and even by the generally florid style of this supplement the following line stood out:

“Central to the room is an on-trend cottagecore scrubbed pine table.”

Cottagecore indeed.

Friday, April 2, 2021 -Good Friday

It has been an objective with me since lock down 1 to cycle the length of the canals which, more or less, encircle the city. It was a beautiful day and Mr. Waffle and I set forth to see what could be done. We largely achieved my objective although we did have a brief diversion when we ended up following the Dodder rather than the canal. While commenting on the strangeness of seaweed in the canal; a curve; and a silted up island in the middle we remained convinced that we were on the right track until we saw a sign saying River Dodder in Ballsbridge.

We stopped off on Wilton Terrace in a small but pleasant park filled with deck chairs and a coffee van. It was a private park and though, in theory, I feel quite uncomfortable with that, in practice it was pretty pleasant. I was ravenous and went off to the van to purchase tea and a snack but Mr. Waffle tactfully reminded me that it was Good Friday and I’d already had my two collations, so I restrained myself and had a cup of black tea only. Not entirely satisfactory.

Slightly related: herself tells me that plastic surgeons call the two lines between my eyebrows the “angry 11s”. Happily they are not visible in this picture of me relaxing in the private sector deck chair – taken by my husband. On the minus side, all of my chins are visible.

I was pretty pleased with myself when we got home, though exhausted from our epic trek.

My 91 year old aunt in Cork got her second Covid jab, so that is a relief.

Saturday, April 3, 2021

The very expensive hamper I ordered did not appear. I was pretty nervous as it contained our Easter Sunday lunch but I got a series of soothing emails and messages and it eventually arrived. It was pretty swish, people.

Mr. Waffle spent much of the day trying to make hot cross buns. He had huge success last year but this year, they just would not rise for him. As he said bitterly at the end of his efforts, “I’ve merged two traditions by creating the Passover unleavened bun.”

A friend of Mr. Waffle’s rang to ask whether herself would be willing to do some translation work for him – from French to English. She was delighted and has already mentally spent the generous fee several times.

It was time to yet again the deploy the house cleaning rota. God, we all hate it. But it’s effective.

We did not have takeaway night on Friday as it was Good Friday and it just seemed a bit odd, so we had it on Saturday. The children had pizza and the grown-ups a meal kit from Oliver Dunne. I was pretty impressed. It had, hands down, the best and most straightforward instructions of any meal kit we’ve got. The food was good and it was delivered to the door in a box not a lot larger than a pizza box. In fairness, they have the thing down to a fine art.

Sunday, April 4, 2021 – Easter Sunday

Herself was up at the crack of dawn organising an Easter egg hunt for the boys. They love her Easter egg hunts. The clues are always just right – enjoyably hard. For example, one of this year’s clues had a Caesar cipher which I had never heard of before but which they seemed to know well.

She and I then spent a happy couple of hours setting up the table and cooking our hamper contents. A gendered space I fear. She had a vision of renaissance extravagance for the table:

I was more into replicating cute bunny napkin arrangements I’d seen on the internet.

We were thinking next time we might even iron the table cloth. The gentlemen of the party, had a drink with the chefs/creative geniuses:

And then, warned that they needed to admire, they were escorted to the kitchen:

I must say the hamper was amazing. They promised enough food for six and they more than made good on that promise. There was the most enormous beef Wellington which is likely to be with us all week. All of the courses were superb – I would definitely do something like this again for Easter. Although our poor vegetarian had to make do with a Marks and Spencer offering for mains. Oh well.

After lunch we went for a walk round the block and dropped into the church. It is so odd not to be going to mass at Easter though much less odd than last year.

We talked to my sister, brother and aunt in Cork by Skype. My sister is the major Easter egg donor in our house so we had an unboxing ceremony for her. She seemed to enjoy it. Not as much as we did.

Monday, 5 April, 2021

Herself was plunged deep into her studies. I decided that Mr. Waffle, the boys and I would explore on our bikes a hitherto unknown (to us) bit of the large park nearby. We were only half way there when it started to drizzle. We went in to a smaller park near our house instead and played frisbee in the drizzle which slowly and determinedly changed into snow. Not a perfect outing.

We continued our German TV watching. We switched to a show about a school on the grounds that the vocabulary might be more useful. However, we all pined for “Charité” and wondered how the tuberculin vaccine was going to work out [spoiler alert – not well] so we have decided to abandon the school show and work out how herself can usefully integrate late 19th century medical vocabulary into her German oral. I found myself reading up on Wikipedia about the characters in the show. Three of them won the Nobel prize for medicine. This got me thinking about how Germany was a powerhouse of science and medicine. When my mother went to Germany in the late 50s to do post-graduate work in chemistry, it was considered a fantastic opportunity. Ten years later when she met my father, German was still the language of a lot of scientific papers (they met because the college librarian suggested to my father that my mother might be able to help him with translating a German paper). I wonder is Germany still a world leader in science and, if not, why not? When did English take over from German as the language of scientific research? I daresay google knows.

Tuesday, 6 April, 2021

I’m still on my Easter holidays but there is nothing to do. I did some German practice with herself. My own Leaving Cert German is coming back to me a bit but, even though my Dutch is almost entirely non-existent *, I find myself regularly leading herself astray by using Dutch expressions instead of German ones. I read somewhere that when you are struggling to find a word in a foreign language, often the word will come to you in your weakest foreign language – this certainly seems to be true of me.

Tomorrow is the last day of my Easter holidays and I am not as sorry as I generally am which is a sad reflection on the state of things.

How was your own Easter?

*Despite a good year of classes and living in a Dutch speaking country – in my defence I lived in the French speaking part; Flemish people to a man speak far better English than I speak Dutch so I could only practice on young children and people tend to look askance at that. You would think that as Dutch is the child of English and German** I had a natural advantage, but yet I made no progress.

**An American friend of mine once shouted at Dutch radio, “Come on man, try a little harder, you’re almost at English”- I know what he meant.

Another One Down

28 March, 2021 2 Comments
Posted in: Belgium, Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, March 22, 2021

I’ve got nothing. No recollection of what happened on yet another Monday in lock down.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

An elderly woman who was born on our road and has been a very active member of the local residents’ association went into hospital a while back. Mr. Waffle heard that she has cancer and then had a stroke so she is going into a nursing home and not coming home from hospital. It’s so sad. She was always in her front garden, sweeping the path or hanging over the hedge chatting to someone. And when she dies, we won’t even be able to go to the funeral. Very depressing.

On Daniel’s Tuesday course, he and his group did something in 70 lines of code whereas all the other teams had at least 120 lines. Apparently fewer lines is better. I tell you this lest you too make the same kind of tactless remark as me based on an understanding that surely more is better.

Herself went to the orthodontist and he has finally, finally said that he is going to take off her braces in June. This has been a complete marathon. I really regret going in to the process in the first place. Her teeth were fine really. I blame the Americans.

We watched a German film about the devil’s daughter who is staying with a nice family and trying to tempt their teenage daughter. Lots of school vocabulary, very speedy dialogue which was challenging but good for all of us.

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

The State Examinations Commission issued new exam guidelines and apparently, inter alia, the Shakespeare question in English will be optional this year. Herself was delighted and she likes Shakespeare. She had two outstanding King Lear essays and felt that now the teacher would no longer want her to complete them (spoiler alert: the teacher still wants her to do the essays).

I felt a bit unwell when I got home from work so took myself up to bed at 8.30. Poor Michael had made a very nice risotto for dinner and was cast into understandable gloom when I merely pushed it round my plate and then departed for bed. Herself said reproachfully that if I had Covid, she wouldn’t be able to do her orals.

Thursday, March 25, 2021 – My father’s birthday

I woke up feeling fine (not Covid, then). This would have been my father’s 96th birthday. I thought about him a lot all day. A friend sent me a card offering perpetual masses for my father and mother and I was amazed how pleased I was. Am I going to become obsessed by religion in my old age?

At school, herself did mock Irish and German orals. The former was more satisfactory than the latter. Her lovely German teacher, looked out the window during the class and said, “Oh I see a bunny in the yard, let’s go outside and see if we can all see him.” She’d bought them all Easter eggs and put them in the yard. This class of 17/18 year olds were delighted which is quite sweet.

Daniel’s GAA coaches ran a zoom games session and they played 2 truths and a lie and he had such a good time. Poor Dan, fun is in short supply these days. I am very grateful to the coaches who organised the whole thing. They have day jobs and I can’t imagine that spending time organising an evening of online games was great fun for them.

Friday, March 26, 2021 – Last day of school before the Easter holidays

Herself had her actual Leaving Cert French oral. She sat 2 metres from the examiner with two sheets of perspex between them, the windows open and both of them wearing masks so I think risk of infection was low. In fairness, her French is good so it all passed off peacefully and she was glad to have the first real exam experience out of the way.

I had a good long Skype call with my friend in Brussels. They’re about to go into lock down again and she is quietly resigned.

I ordered from Uno Mas for dinner. It’s a sister restaurant to Etto which I love but I just didn’t like it as much. I mean it was nice but assembly was tough and nearly floored me. Highlight was waiting to pick it up and singing along with herself to Dolly Parton (“Here you come again” – how does she know this number? Dolly is very popular with the young people, it transpires).

Daniel, Michael and I watched “The Return of the King” which we all enjoyed hugely. Mr. Waffle drifted in and out making slightly snarky comments. He is not a fantasy fan. We had our revenge when he thought it was surely over and there was a final half hour of return to the Shire.

Saturday, March 27, 2021

A day of high drama. Herself came into my room at 9.15 fully of adrenaline in advance of her Leaving Cert oral Irish exam. We sang Dolly Parton (reliving the previous day’s excitement) and she danced around the room. Both her brothers came to the bedroom door having been inadvertently awoken by our antics at this early hour, “Either the singing or the dancing but not both,” said Daniel wearily.

I dropped her to school. She was nervous but she’s good at Irish and she was well prepared. She did the oral and it was the exam of dreams. It went really, really well. She noticed as she was leaving the room that the recording was only ten minutes. She was surprised and raised it with the teachers. It turned out that there was a fault in the recording software and it had cut everyone off after ten minutes. All of the earlier candidates had to be recalled and she had to do her exam again. Her Irish teacher said that it was the worst thing that he had ever heard of happening in an oral exam and he would use her as a cautionary tale for future generations of students. She was not very comforted by this. Anyway, she did the exam again and it went fine but not as well as the first time. The exam recordings have to be sent off to the State Examinations Commission and, apparently, they only mark what they get so it was really fortunate that she spotted the problem as if she hadn’t everyone in the school would have been marked down. She was a bit wrung by the whole thing.

I took to her to Lidl and Tesco to buy Easter tat: thin on the ground. I thought she might find something she would like but no joy. There weren’t even any mini eggs. We made an Easter wreath out of bendy branches and I stuck it up in the hall.

Herself picked the film night film. It was a Senegalese film called “Atlantique” which was largely in Wolof and won a prize in Cannes. The children really enjoyed it. I want to be the kind of person who finds a film in Wolof about the situation of African emigrants fleeing to Europe in death trap boats ideal Saturday night viewing but I’m not. I found it hard going. Before the twist, I dozed slightly. I woke up after the twist and it did improve but, lads, I can’t recommend.

Sunday March 28, 2021 Palm Sunday

I’d completely forgotten that the clocks were going forward (it’s bright outside at 8pm as I write). At least we avoided trooping in late for 11.30 mass. Mr. Waffle and I went for a walk and got rained on but it was not as unpleasant as that sounds. We passed a church with piles of palm outside the door so we picked some up.

Top tip on making your Easter wreath: make sure your bendy tree is not one whose leaves die after a short time indoors. This was the wreath yesterday, maybe not terrific but, you know, ok:

Today, alas, it was dead and positively funereal looking. Back to the drawing board:

My apple tree branch continues to be a source of delight though, so there’s that.

Update me on your own week, ah go on, do.

Hail Glorious Saint Patrick

21 March, 2021 4 Comments
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Monday, March 15, 2021

I got an exciting package from the relatives in London containing a Cork poster for my birthday. Very thrilling.

We were all very excited to puzzle out this extraordinary translation of washing instructions on a new scarf that herself got. My favourite touch is the apostrophe in necessaire.

Translation below.

The fifth years are back in school and herself is outraged having very much enjoyed having the building open to sixth years only.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

I took the day off work as it’s a quiet week with Patrick’s Day in the middle. It was a beautiful day and Michael and I went for a cycle in the park in the morning. Mr. Waffle and I cycled out to Chapelizod and had a look at the weir in the afternoon. It was an excellent outing by pandemic standards.

One of the boys’ teachers from primary school rang me out of the blue to say that the church where they were baptised was trying to get in touch with us. Odd. I had a grand old chat with the teacher anyhow. She was asking after all of the children which was nice; she herself is absolutely delighted to be back in the classroom even though she has junior infants this year and I can’t help but imagine social distancing must be difficult. Anyhow, I contacted the church – they had lost the boys’ baptismal certs but with some information on dates, they managed to locate them. So much for the Catholic Church’s extraordinary record keeping or, alternatively, it’s an impressively elaborate scam to get the boys’ data.

That evening we went into town and looked at the buildings lit up in green for Patrick’s Day. Low levels of enthusiasm but it was something a little different.

I made everyone listen to “Hail Glorious St. Patrick” in the car on the way home.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021 – St. Patrick’s Day

After the excitement of Tuesday, this was a quieter day. I thought about my father saying that when he was a little boy, the first time he really understood the passage of time was when he put his St. Patrick’s Day badge in a drawer and then a whole year passed and he was able to use it again. Not perhaps one of his best anecdotes but, it transpires, unforgettable.

Mr. Waffle, Daniel and I went to the Botanic gardens. I mean, fine, spring has sprung and half of Dublin was sitting on the grass enjoying the fine weather. There were pictures out from a photographic competition and I think it’s fair to say, that we were all more excited about this than we would have been in peace time.

Herself is preparing for her various oral exams and is concentrating on her German oral. We watched a dreadful cookery show called “Wer kann, der kann” as practice. Would not recommend although I am slightly intrigued by this review from the Hindu that I found online.

In the midst of it the cat started making the most appalling growling noise in the kitchen. Herself went to investigate and found that the cat had caught a mouse. Mr. Waffle was out and herself, reading the situation quite correctly, decided that I was useless and ran to put on her shoes, get a plastic bag and dispose of the mouse corpse. When she got back it was to see the horrifying sight of the cat bolting the mouse down starting at the tail. On the plus side, it was definitely a mouse and not a rat. Oh Lord, this is the year of vermin. The cat was delighted with herself.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Daniel was on dinner and he decided to make pizza. I picked up some burrata at lunch time at considerable expense to make salad to accompany the pizza. Mr. Waffle picked up some Lidl mozzarella for the topping and Daniel was a bit dubious about its quality. In fact, it was fine. Then Mr. Waffle took some of my beautifully curated salad, “I see what you mean about the Lidl mozzarella,” said he, “It isn’t really very nice.” I was fit to be tied.

Herself pointed out to me that I am not a restful companion and I keep hopping up and saying, “Right” and putting them all to work. This arose when I got up after dinner and said, “Right!” and all the children moaned, “Not ‘right'” which I found perplexing until it was explained to me.

Friday, March 19, 2021 – Mr. Waffle’s Birthday

Mr. Waffle is a hard man to buy for but he seemed reasonably content with his presents. His sister in London starred by getting him a signed copy of a book he was already interested in. She knows the author. The glamour.

Dan had to go to the physio and Mr. Waffle took him (his knee is a bit sore but it’s not serious you will be glad to hear). While they were gone, I sprang into action, taking from their hiding place the ingredients to make the classic rice krispie birthday cake. I made it, I washed up after it and I hid the cake before he came home. You can imagine my ire when Mr. Waffle noticed that there was an extra half pack of rice krispies on the shelf. Sigh.

Mr. Waffle and I took our faithful Pevsner guide and continued our exploration of Dublin. He quite fancied exploring Temple Bar. Normally he loathes Temple Bar as it is full of tourists but he thought he might like it in lock down. He was wrong. It was the most spectacularly depressing outing. It’s become a day time hang out for Dublin’s homeless population. There were people who looked really sick from drugs pale, yellowish skinny faces; people drinking in corners and people wandering aimlessly making quips about us walking around with our guidebook (we were quip worthy, I concede). Honestly, it felt like some kind of scene from one of those post-apocalyptic films; it was really sad but also, not relaxing.

When we got home, herself had returned from school. She did a mock French oral at school. It went well.

I had ordered a birthday dinner in from Etto and it was really excellent. And then we had the rice krispie cake. What’s not to love?

We also talked to the Londoners who had moved house that day and so had actual, live, bona fide real news. We got a tour via Skype of the new house but I can’t wait to visit in real life.

Saturday, March 20, 2021

The cleaning rota was deployed again. We all hate it but most of us think it’s worth it.

Herself and myself have started watching a German series on Netflix called “Zeit der Geheimnisse”. Honestly, I think it would be confusing in English but we are dutifully watching in German with German subtitles (oral prep) and all the twists and turns are definitely keeping us on our toes.

Ireland won in the rugby beating the old enemy, perfidious Albion. Daniel was pleased. My brother watched it in Cork with two friends who have been vaccinated. This is in breach of the rules but I haven’t the heart to blame him.

For film night, I had planned to bring to the audience a three hour epic (and indeed had paid Mr. Waffle’s money to google play to rent it) but dinner was late and I switched horses mid-stream and rented “Little Miss Sunshine” and put that on instead. Everyone loved it and came in at a handy 1hr 42 minutes. It came out in 2006 and Mr. Waffle swears he has never seen it before but who did I see it with then leaving him to mind our 3 children under four? A mystery.

Sunday, March 21, 2021 – Vernal Equinox

I have no idea what I did today other than a lot of walking around the block. I see that a certain anti-lockdown spirit is animating local fly posting.

I also agreed to play a board game with the boys. They were merciful to their father and me and the game they picked was short and not very complicated, it’s all we’re able for. Herself and myself had more of our Netflix German secrets show. Very tiring; she had to get out a piece of paper and draw a family tree for us to follow it.

Let me have your lock down news and, pretty specific this one, if you have a recommended series in German on Netflix, let me know.

International Anne Week

14 March, 2021 5 Comments
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Hodge, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings

Monday, March 8, 2021 – International Women’s Day

Every woman I know was inundated with invitations to online conferences. Of the three I was invited to, I went to the one from 6.30 to 8.00 in the evening. The timing didn’t seem particularly right on but it did suit me. I watched from home. Herself came and joined me. It was a good panel and interesting. One of the speakers was an older colleague at top management level. I thought she was pretty good but herself said, “She sounds exactly like you, I would not pay for those insights, when I get them for free at home, all the time.” Make of that what you will. One of the speakers was joined by a baby on her lap and the moderator’s small children could be heard roaring in the distance, “Their father is supposed to be keeping them under control,” she said through gritted teeth. Herself tells me that in the lectures that became “A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf, spoke of the “other women who are not here to–night, for they are …putting the children to bed.” Plus ça change eh?

Tuesday, 9 March, 2021 – Birthday Eve

Daniel had his course so was online all day doing Engineering. Roddy Doyle came back to Michael’s online English class to give the 13 children who were there his further advice on their writing work for about an hour. Honestly, the man is a saint. Michael said he answered all their questions and chatted away to them and they really enjoyed it.

I saw this sign outside a restaurant in town. Unintentionally accurate.

That evening marked the deeply unwelcome return of the school parents’ council meetings. The principal is long winded man and have you noticed that however long someone is in person, it is as nothing compared to how they get into their stride in online meetings? We were given some video footage of the outdoor classroom. If you ask me, even set to music on video it looks pretty bleak.

A former colleague sent me birthday flowers and chocolates out of the blue. It was such a lovely surprise as completely unexpected. I think everyone is trying to do more of this kind of thing. It was very nice to be the beneficiary. And due to the fact that the house is freezing, they’re lasting really well.

Wednesday, 10 March 2021 – Happy Birthday to Me

I took the day off work and woke up to driving rain. Alas. Mr. Waffle and the children provided presents and cards which I graciously accepted as my due. Some birthday cards came in the post; loads of people sent messages by text and email. I was delighted with myself. I do love to celebrate my birthday.

Mr. Waffle and I braved the elements and went out to buy the ingredients for a delightful afternoon tea. We returned to the house with our buns and fancy bread and cucumber to find that Irish Water had turned off the water due to a leak and it wouldn’t be back until six that evening. Alas.

The boys got messages about their Leaving Cert subject choices. Daniel is ok but Michael really wanted to do History and Geography and they are timetabled back to back. The perils of a small school. He’s decided to do Geography in school as he knows all the specialist vocabulary in Irish already (igneous and metamorphic rock anyone?) and History outside school. We’ll see how it goes. Herself had the exact same problem and ended up doing Art in school which she enjoys, so that’s something, but which is not, perhaps, her strongest subject.

So a slight pall cast on my day due to Michael’s understandable gloom and the absence of cold water in the taps, but never mind.

I collected herself and her bike from school. She greeted my arrival with unalloyed delight. In the latest news, it appears that following union directives teachers can no longer give test marks or sight of corrected scripts to students. She despairs and, I think, so do her teachers.

Anyhow, crucially, when she got home, she set to co-ordinating my afternoon tea and making brandy snaps (a firm favourite of mine – she makes an excellent brandy snap). This left me time to appreciate the flowers my sister had sent me. Very pleasing.

Afternoon tea of champions:

The tea had to be made with hot water from the tank but no one appears to have suffered any ill effects.

Then after dinner there was cake. My husband and his ability to take a lovely photo of his wife, people:

And a zoom call with my brother and sister who had clubbed together to, very generously, get a blue book voucher, which I really hope to be able to use this year. My sister also supplied various unguents for my aged body. It turns out that all the perfumes of Arabia can sweeten this little hand. Since my brother set up the zoom call, I got to enjoy the sensation of waiting for admittance to my own party, as I told him, once I was let in.

All in all, a good birthday.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

I paid for my fun on the previous day with a rather frantic day at work. Still, well worth it. Mr. Waffle was presented with a social dilemma. While he was out, one of the neighbours dropped by a bottle of wine to say thanks for the bike. We had given away three bikes and Daniel could not say which of the three men had dropped in the bottle of wine. One of the three is a mild media personality and Mr. Waffle showed Daniel some pictures of him in action and, happily, he was able to confirm that this was the wine donor. Life is full of difficulties.

Friday, March 12, 2021 – Covid Anniversary

It was this day last year that the Taoiseach announced from Washington that the country was going into lockdown and that we were going to have a very odd St. Patrick’s Day. There has been lots of “one year on” commentary in the media but I’m not sure I have a lot to say other than, it’s been long. I am simultaneously deeply bored of my 5km limit and the sameness of it all and very used to what I notice people are no longer calling “the new normal”. I know it could be worse but somehow that doesn’t make it a great deal better.

The wind knocked some branches off one of the apple trees in the back garden. I put them in a vase and now they are putting out blossoms. I am delighted with myself. Now that I’m 52 these are the kind of roller-coaster thrills I’m enjoying all the time.

To make up for the dreadful picture her father took of me I spent a happy time with herself taking selfies with the various filters available to me in my new iphone. I love this one with the contour filter wherein I look amazing but, as herself pointed out, she looks like she’s made of plastic. Look, as I said to her, win some lose some.

Herself and myself talked a bit about this poor woman who was murdered in England. V depressing to think that so little has changed for women’s safety since I was the same age as she is now. I tell her the same things as my parents told me and I don’t like her going out in the dark alone.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Herself was a bit down so we went out on our bikes to the local shops. We were both cheered by a trip to Lidl. Sigh.

The cat welcomed signs of spring.

Mr. Waffle and I went in to Capel Street with our Pevsner guide. And it was grand and mildly interesting and all but I’m not sure a wander up and down Capel Street in the driving rain on a Saturday afternoon is living my best life but, I can tell you, I know my Wyatt windows from my string courses now.

My sister gave my aunt the animatronic cat. Notwithstanding my sister’s description of it as “rather creepy”, my aunt seems to be delighted. We will follow developments with interest. Did I tell you that my aunt got her first Covid jab? Well, she did and she seems to be fine. So good news there.

Sunday, March 14, 2021 – Mother’s Day

There’s a little fatigue amongst the troops after my birthday but, nonetheless, a card is produced and herself bought a bunch of flowers as did her father. I now have four bouquets and my blossoming branch. Delighted with myself.

I went for a walk round the block while my sister did likewise in Cork and we talked on the phone and admired signs of spring in our respective locations.

Mr. Waffle, the boys and I went for another walk after lunch and then Daniel and Mr. Waffle settled down to watch the rugby (Ireland v Scotland, Ireland won!) and Michael scuttled upstairs to continue his game of Crusader Kings III (he has spent many months expanding his empire); and herself continued dolefully with her studies.

As ever, I am anxious to hear news from your own lockdown, bated breath etc.

Onward March

7 March, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Monday, March 1, 2021 – Birthday alert

March is the month of birthdays. My mother-in-law on March 1, my brother-in-law on March 3 (a round number this year), my nephew on March 5, my godson on March 8, me (crucially) on March 10, Mr. Waffle on March 19 and my father was March 25. He would have been 96. That’s a lot of potential birthday to forget. March is always a month of high alert.

Herself had her first day back at actual real school as opposed to online learning. She thought she would love it but she did not. Apart from anything else, the school is freezing as all the windows are open and the heating is not on. Then they have to have lunch and assembly in what is euphemistically called the outdoor classroom but, more realistically, might be called a shed.

The boys got their school reports which we have yet to discuss with them but all broadly positive – the online thing is working out better this time around. Daniel is really looking forward to getting back to school on April 12. Michael is not so sure.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

I had an early start on Monday morning so missed seeing the primary children going back into school. On Tuesday morning junior infants to second class were heading back in to the two schools at the bottom of the road and it was lovely to hear them scooting, running and cycling in.

The boys had an online TY experience at a law firm which a friend of Mr. Waffle’s kindly arranged. Like all these things, it wasn’t as good as an actual work experience module but made a welcome change from their other online experiences.

They had to choose their Leaving Cert subjects. There was much humming and hawing and what they actually get depends on timetabling but neither of them wants to do Art, Tech Graphics or Biology, everything else is pretty much up for grabs.

Wednesday, March 3, 2021 – 51 years and 51 weeks old (me) and round number (brother-in-law)

Mr. Waffle gave herself a lift into school. I went in to Michael’s room to bid him farewell and attempted to comb his hair (now long flowing locks last cut months ago – he’s not a bit believer in the brush and comb himself). He was quite annoyed as he was on his online TY work experience. Unfortunate. But he turned his camera off almost immediately, so no lasting psychological harm done.

After school Mr. Waffle collected herself. As she said, “Imagine my horror when I saw him wheeling my bike. I looked and looked for the car but it was not there.” He said brightly, “I walked up to the school with your bike so that you could cycle home.” She was not as thrilled as he had expected.

Over dinner it transpired that some months ago I had disposed of a pile of old Dandy magazines which had been gathering dust in Daniel’s room for years. It would be fair to say that tensions ran high and Michael and herself were most displeased. I blame Mr. Waffle who innocently let the cat out of the bag.

Thursday, March 4, 2021 – World Book Day

We got our windows cleaned. It just wasn’t as good as last spring where getting the windows cleaned was one of the highlights of lock down 1. The window cleaner had been in Love Hate and had his scene on his phone which he played for Mr. Waffle so there was that. It’s a rough time for the arts, lads.

On the way home from work there was a really violent fight at the end of the street. I was on my bike and quite unnerved. Myself and another woman in her car shouted at the men kicking another man on the street and I called the guards. It was all a bit grim. There seems to be an uptick in crime. A couple of times local children have been set on by gangs of teenagers on bikes at about tea time. I feel it’s some of the consequences of lockdown frustration, boredom and anger spilling out on the streets. I wouldn’t say I’m enjoying it.

Friday, March 5, 2021 – Nephew’s Birthday

Herself and myself went out to get a crêpe before she went to an online get to know you session with her college in England. I am not delighted that she is going abroad but at least the process has distracted her from her other woes. There were older students on the call to give advice about practical questions like food, accommodation and getting around. Herself reflecting her father’s family’s obsession about towels asked whether you have to bring your own towels. You do.

We rang my nephew to wish him a happy birthday. He’s 15 and hilariously, sounds exactly like his father on the phone as we realised when we were talking to both of them on speaker. Look, we get our thrills where we can these days.

We had dinner from Bastible which was recommended by a friend. It was very good but, as herself said, “I’m getting a bit tired of take away where there’s a lot of assembly work.” I mean the food was great and the assembly wasn’t too bad but it definitely was assembly.

Saturday, March 6, 2021 – The Departure of Throck Morton and the Return of the Cleaning Rota

This day marked the return of the cleaning rota. Our cleaner hasn’t been since before Christmas and though we had been doing bits and pieces on an ad hoc basis (bathrooms and hoovering – dusting had definitely fallen by the wayside), it was time for a thorough overhaul. The house is now cleaner than it has been since December. Rejoice.

A man came and put spikes on the chimney and now the pigeon (the children called him Throck Morton after some internet thing) which has been a feature of the Princess’s life since last April has been finally excluded from paradise. Farewell Throck, gone and, frankly, not regretted.

Mr. Waffle, Michael and I cycled into town and home again by different routes testing out the new cycle infrastructure. Improving, in fairness.

Herself had additional maths class in the morning followed by additional Irish class. We’re definitely in full “the Leaving Cert is coming” mode.

My sister has bought an animatronic cat for my aunt. I will keep you posted as to whether this €40 investment is well received by my 91 year old aunt.

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Mr. Waffle and I went into Fitzwilliam Square with our architectural guidebook.

It was sunny and pleasant but the guidebook does not have a great deal to say about the house exteriors.

A very nice resident who was walking her dog told us about her planning woes and lent us her key to go into the private park in the centre of the square which is for residents only. Pretty pleased with ourselves.

A good friend of mine lived in a basement flat on the square about 25 years ago and I found myself reminiscing fondly about that really great flat. Herself and her flatmates went on to have successful careers and I feel that if I had it in me I’d love to write a novel based on this premise. I’ll hand it over to my sister-in-law the novelist although she says that people spend their time telling novelists about great plots for their novels so maybe not.

Our friend in the Netherlands is going to be 50 in the autumn. She emailed Mr. Waffle that she plans to have a party. I immediately said that we will all go. Mr. Waffle says we may not all be invited. If so, the children can hole up in the Airbnb with pizza but as she has four children of her own, I’m sure she won’t mind. Mr. Waffle was less sure. Anyhow, I was very buoyed up and excited at the prospect. A life after Covid, people.

After lunch I took the children for a cycle in the park which was not entirely satisfactory. We’re all a bit bored of the park. But look, it was exercise. While we were gone, Mr. Waffle re-oiled the work surfaces in the kitchen. A job that needs to be done late in the evening so that it can be left to dry out overnight we have discovered. As I type he is cooking dinner in there hoping not to be overcome by the fumes or frozen (the back door has to remain open). We live and learn.

Any lockdown news of your own?