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Archives for December 2004

Part the fifteenth

22 December, 2004
Posted in: The tale of Lazy Jack Silver

Heather sat at her mahogany desk leafing through various invitations and begging
letters.  “I don’’t care how beautiful the view of Central Park is from their apartment, I’’m not going to listen to the Pitts and their Hollywood stories for a tepid gin ” she thought.  Perhaps she could ask Bobble to pop in and deliver a Christmas card whilst she was over there. Although, she couldn’’t help wondering if this New York trip of
Bobble’s wasn’’t some sort of ploy to be working against their plan.  Lazy Jack Silver had been so quiet recently and Heather wondered if this recent Italian trip that Bobble had made may have resulted in a meeting with some of the “family” over there. Perhaps they had provided a more intense drug to keep LJS in this deep sleep.
After all, she’’d never seen anyone react to Nurofen quite like this before. If she hadn’’t actually seen him slumped in the cellar then she’’d think he’’d just disappeared.

If only she could talk things over with Norah but the only word from her at the moment was “passport” as she moved things around in her panic. Where was Waffle when she  needed her? Just slipping off and leaving a note about needing to spend time with her family wasn’’t very helpful.

The truth of the matter was that Heather couldn’t cope with the thought of spending
Christmas alone in the Schloss with Friar Tuck.  There was something deeply unsettling about the way he sidled into the room and, although perfectly pleasant on the surface, Heather knew what he was capable of. Maybe she would have to return to England and then the Friar would leave the Schloss. He wouldn’’t be stupid enough to follow her
to England, would he?

Oh, sod Christmas, she thought. If it weren’’t for the thought of a new diamond to add to the collection then she’’d just forget about it completely.  There was no way that she would fall into the sentimental claptrap of childhood memories of Christmas.

However, if she did return to England who would look after LJS?  Maureen was nowhere to be seen. Bobble would be in New York. If Norah ever found her passport, then she’’d be off.  This wasn’’t working out as she had planned.  However, after a rest over Christmas perhaps she would be able to find some new way of tackling the problem. All she needed was someone to look after LJS while she took a few days off.  Was this
too much to ask?

Comments
poggle

on 31 December 2004 at 15:53

He’s always been a lightweight with drugs, that LJS. The big wuss.

Friar Tuck

on 04 January 2005 at 18:15

Sidled?! That seems so snake-like. Oh… {unpleasant reality dawns}

poggle

on 05 January 2005 at 12:07

Now, now, Friar Tuck – that would be ‘slid’ or ‘slithered’.
Whereas ‘sidling’ is more …. well … Gollum-like, I think you’ll find.
Does that help, at all?

belgianwaffle

on 05 January 2005 at 13:57

Heather the genius. I hope that if I give you a sweetie it gets to you.

Bobble

on 10 January 2005 at 00:32

The Pitts did send their regards – from separate apartments.

belgianwaffle

on 10 January 2005 at 21:19

Topical, Bobble.
poggle
on 17 March 2005 at 10:38

What’s happened to Lazy Jack? Is he okay?

belgianwaffle

on 22 March 2005 at 08:55

He’s actually quite unwell, I’ve been worried about him….

poggle

on 22 March 2005 at 10:03

Just don’t ask Bobble to nurse him – you know what she’s like for fainting all over the blog …..
Arf.

jackdalton

on 22 March 2005 at 10:58

I heard he was unmasked for the cad he really is and fled to South America, with only a copy of In Patagonia and a few stolen snatches of love poetry to his name.

poggle

on 22 March 2005 at 11:21

You mean … you mean … he’s left us all?
Oh no.
*sniffs*

jackdalton

on 22 March 2005 at 12:13

Don’t be like that Pog… it’s better this way. After all, he’ll always have the Schloss and he has left us a legacy polished prose [that] subtly distanced him… a blend of intellectual passion and emotional coldness, the postmodern glitter of surface and patchwork, shorn of all authorial judgement.
Can’t be bad for a figment of ‘wafs deeply seated inadequacies, unresolved love interests and materialistic longings.

poggle

on 22 March 2005 at 12:19

But … but …
Oh, okay then.
*mourns*
(Oh – and don’t forget H’s contribution to his saga. I’d hide if I were you, jd.)

jackdalton

on 22 March 2005 at 12:38

It’s ok. I’m in South America.

poggle

on 22 March 2005 at 13:56

You just don’t love us any more, do you?
I’m gutted.
Gutted, I tells ya.

jackdalton

on 22 March 2005 at 14:02

Sorry, you’ll have to speak up… it’s a bad line. Did you say something about lewd?

poggle

on 22 March 2005 at 14:04

Yeah. Well. That too.

jackdalton

on 22 March 2005 at 14:04

Patagonia and lightly fictionised people. Land of the living wind. Valparaiso next. And all that…..
poggle
on 22 March 2005 at 14:09

Jealous? Me?
*green*

Bobble

on 22 March 2005 at 18:05

*Swoons*

belgianwaffle

on 23 March 2005 at 10:20

Dashes water over Bobble’s inanimate form. Will have to give some thought to what exactly LJS is doing in South America but just you wait, my chickadees…

Happy Christmas

16 December, 2004
Posted in: Princess

I bought the Princess some clothes for Christmas at lunch time today. This evening I gave her the bag and she opened it and took out the items one by one (“t-shire, nice, skir, not nice, dwess, oh wow). Then she held the dress up to herself and using her chin to hold it in place, inspected herself in the mirror. She turned to me and said “Mummy, dwess open” and once I had opened the buttons, she stuck her hands in the sleeves and went to preen in the mirror. Her father said “Qui est belle?” She turned around to him, smiled smugly and said “belle, oui”. That’s my girl.

We’re going home tomorrow (hence emergency Christmas shop at lunch). We have spent this evening packing and organising and scurrying. And now that all is nearly completed, Hop hop has lost his other ear and I have to sew it back on. I am not pleased with the royal bunny.

So, I will be signing off until 2005. We’re back on January 4 when blog life will recommence. In the interim, may I wish you all a very happy Christmas and New Year.

Comments
dmts

on 17 December 2004 at 09:23

Sch?nen Weihnachten, Waffle.

NorahSplog

on 18 December 2004 at 23:24

Krismas Njema na heri za mwaka mpya Waffle.

DruidX

on 19 December 2004 at 23:23

Err, Au Rivour! Happy christmas et vous.
[I appologise profously for the awfulness of my written french, but I wanted to jump on the bandwagon :)]
Mikeachim
on 19 December 2004 at 23:25

Καλά Χριστούγεννα και μια καλή χρονιά, από Mikeachim.
Have a good one.

poggle

on 20 December 2004 at 12:07

Frohliche Weinachten, Mrs Waffle and kin …

Locotes

on 21 December 2004 at 13:07

Nollaig shona agus athbhliain faoi mhaise duit.
😉

JoJo

on 23 December 2004 at 23:13

same to you & the princess!
see you next year, JJ xxx

belgianwaffle

on 05 January 2005 at 13:56

Ooh, linguistic genius all round eh? Thanks for all your good wishes.

Baby, it’s cold inside

15 December, 2004
Posted in: Belgium

It is cold right now in Brussels. Very cold. And foggy. All in all, not an ideal time for your boiler to break down: cold bedrooms and no hot water. I called the landlord – he suggested we go to the basement and press the button on the left. I said I had done that. He said he didn’t know what else we could do (to be fair to him, he set about calling a heating person but nothing had happened by the time we went to bed).

The weird thing was that none of our neighbours seemed to notice, even though the boiler serves the whole building so we were all affected.

Neighbour A is a DIY enthusiast and we tried to enlist him to help – it was news to him that there was a problem. Clearly he doesn’’t feel the cold.

Neighbour B seemed quite indifferent – another reptile ? Oddly, he seemed to feel it was up to us to sort it out: “Haven’’t you got the landlord’s number ?”

This morning when the heating guy finally rang, he wanted to know when somebody could let him in. Since we both work, we tried to enlist Neighbour C who works unusual hours. We knocked on her door before going to work. By definition, she had not had heating or hot water all night. Her reaction: “I heard you outside and I was going to ask what’’s happening.” We got the impression of a whole building full of adults waiting for the Waffle family to sort out their heating for them.

Mr Waflle suggests they’’re all youngest children. This, with apologies to the publishing exec, is because in his family the youngest child is regarded as mildly feckless. She was once described by a family member as “very brilliant you know, but she spends a lot of her time in this world looking for her other shoe”. In my family the youngest child is regarded as immensely responsible, far more so than, say, me. I think that our neighbours may all be eldest children.

Comments
belgianwaffle

on 16 December 2004 at 22:51

It does sound a little like your place pog, but I suppose at least we have a landlord to whine to…

Yes, we have no

14 December, 2004
Posted in: Princess, Work

This morning Mr. Waffle left for work considerably before dawn and the Princess and I got ourselves out of the house on our own somewhat later.

She woke at 7.45 and I collected her from her bed.

“Would you like some porridge?”

“No”

“Will I open the zip on your sleeping bag?”

“No”

“Come on now, we’ll get up and have some breakfast”

“No, no bekast”

“OK, let’s change your nappy.”

“No, no, no! Pas changer, no nappy. Howl”

“OK, let’s just go have some porridge”

“No, down. DOWN”

Put child on floor.

“Cole”

“Will we put on your socks then sweetheart?”

“No, no sock”

We struggle through breakfast (no porridge, no porridge), my shower (no shower Mummy, no shower Mummy), dressing (rigourously folded arms while running about the room to evade capture) and leave the house.

“Will we go to the creche darling?”

“No. No creche.”

“We’ll see M”

“Yes M”

Remember it is M’s day off. “Actually, no, not today”

“No M?” Lusty sobs.

Arrive at creche after only one near miss (“exciting Mummy, again”). Deposit child. Weeping and gnashing of teeth “No mummy, no, no. Hop hop?” Realise Hop hop has been left in the car. Rescue Hop hop. Return to creche, child is playing happily. She catches sight of me and prostrates herself on the floor “No, mama, no, no,” she says reaching out her chubby little arms. I detach myself and depart. Very traumatic all round. I arrived at the office in a state of advanced exhaustion and had a relaxing day of meetings to recover.

Comments
belgianwaffle

on 15 December 2004 at 21:49

Hmm. Thank you pog for extracting the positive..

Part the fourteenth

13 December, 2004
Posted in: The tale of Lazy Jack Silver

Norah looked up to see Waffle and Heather approaching. “We must get on” she said “he’s coming round”.   All five of them tripped down the stairs to the dungeon.  Heather gave Friar Tuck a cold look but made no comment.

“I hope he’s secure” said Heather to Norah, “you should never have left him – you know his nickname used to be Houdini Jack”.

Norah curled her lip and said “I don’t think you need to worry”. She took out the large key from her pocket and slipped it in the steel lock in the thick wooden door. Inside “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” could be heard on the TV. Norah entered the room and gasped.  Heather quickly pushed past her.  Two pairs of handcuffs were dangling from the radiators but there was no sign of LJS.  Bobble let out a tiny sigh and fainted.

Comments
NorahSplog

on 13 December 2004 at 23:53

Oh crap. Sorry chaps – I appear to have buggered up.
PS when I curled my lip, was it like Elvis? It was like Elvis, wasn’t it? Was it? It was. I knew it. Uh huh huh.

NorahSplog

on 13 December 2004 at 23:55

By way of apology for underestimating Houdini J. 1
Sweetie(s) given

Friar Tuck

on 14 December 2004 at 16:45

* Secretly rejoicing that he’s the only man left in the castle *

belgianwaffle

on 14 December 2004 at 23:05

Bobble, you’re right, as discussed. Norah, of course. And another sweetie, cool. Thanks. FT, well, that’s what you think.

Friar Tuck

on 15 December 2004 at 00:30

Oh, so I see how it works around here! You have to fall prostrate on the floor while howling to get your way.

belgianwaffle

on 15 December 2004 at 21:48

FT, well spotted.

poggle

on 16 December 2004 at 12:45

Norah’s dead good at the lip curling …
*gurns*
Unlike me.

belgianwaffle

on 16 December 2004 at 22:52

Well pog, you have your eyebrows.

1st birthday

13 December, 2004
Posted in: Reading etc.

Today is my blog anniversary but I am of course keeping my blog a deep dark secret.  You, however, may congratulate me for my tenacity etc. etc.

Comments
lauren35

on 13 December 2004 at 22:40

Many happy blog returns of the day & joyeuse blogiversaire

NorahSplog

on 13 December 2004 at 23:56

Happy Blirthday Dear Waffle x

Mikeachim

on 14 December 2004 at 01:42

Happy blogday, Lady of the Waffle.

Friar Tuck

on 14 December 2004 at 03:10

We’re supposed to congratulate you for your tentacles?! Why?

Friar Tuck

on 14 December 2004 at 03:17

You should have told them about the time you hiked across the Amazon jungle carrying nothing but an extra pair of socks and a compass. It’s probably as true as that “half a novel” crap.

UndercoverCookie

on 14 December 2004 at 11:09

*sings* Happy Birthday dear blog
Happy Birthday dear blog
it and I share a biiiiiirthdaaaaaaay
hye, that makes your blog a sagittarius.

poggle

on 14 December 2004 at 12:05

Besides – you are in the process of co-authoring a masterpiece yourself, waffle …….

stroppycow

on 14 December 2004 at 21:35

Happy blogiversary.

belgianwaffle

on 14 December 2004 at 23:03

Oooh, thank you all so much for your blog birthday wishes, you are kind.
jackdalton
on 16 December 2004 at 11:50

Missed it. As with so much else these days. Ah well, here’s a rue de Tr?ves special…. 1
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffle

on 16 December 2004 at 22:50

Ooh Jack a sweetie, you are kind. I like your use of the accent on Treves. Do you get to come to this part of the world a bit then?

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