belgianwaffle

Archives for June 2005

Dickensian Diseases


Posted in: Miscellaneous

The Glam Potter rang to ask advice on vomiting babies; confidently advised probably fine.

I rang today to check on the well being of the patient. She has scarlet fever.

Comments
KateEvans

on 13 June 2005 at 17:28

I thought scarlet fever was one of those Hollywood illnesses that only really glamorous and/or tragic types get. What is it?I have a friend whose son has only thrown up once in his six years of life (not including baby spitups, obviously). I intend to make him my child’s role model.

dmts

on 13 June 2005 at 17:31

KE is going to have the first baby that cleans up his/her own spitups and will probably change his/her own nappies.

lexylexylalala

on 13 June 2005 at 17:34

well you didn’t charge for the diagnosis, so no harm done then :)wow.

beachhutman

on 13 June 2005 at 20:58

Never knew why people got so excited about “Gone with the wind”.

jackdalton

on 14 June 2005 at 01:08

BHM: it’s probably something to do with the relief involved…

poggle

on 14 June 2005 at 10:42

Scarlet fever always sounds so old-fashioned – like quinsey (no, no – not the sleuth) – and like swooning and smelling salts.

belgianwaffle

on 14 June 2005 at 21:25

Firstly, you will all be relieved to hear that scarlet fever is no longer as serious as it once was and little L went back to the creche today a well child.
HJB, um, I think that the course of antibiotics is helping.
Kate, well, L isn’t glamourous or tragic, just small and suffering from a rash and sore throat. And trust me, your child will throw up. No, really. On the plus side, as H points out it may well be able to change it’s own nappy.
Lexy, well, yes, except to my reputation as a know it all.
BHM, har. JD, har di har.
Yeah pog, I know, like palsy or possibly palsey.

poggle

on 15 June 2005 at 10:16

Yes – and ague …
Ed: That’s quite enought Dickensian diseases, thank you very much.

Tallis and Byrd


Posted in: Reading etc.

These are the instructions we received from our neighbours on feeding their cats while they are away getting married. I like cats, but is this a little excessive?

There are two cats, T & B. T is the large tabby (ex-male). B is the smaller black-and-white one (ex-female), with a necklace round her neck saying “B”. T is on a diet & is perpetually hungry. Inside the bag is a measuring glass, with “T” marked on it & a maximum level. The maximum level is for one day. For each meal, two rows of biscuits in the bottom of the glass are enough. (T doesn’t think so, but we know it). T will always eat all of his food & then try and eat B’s food as well, when she has finished eating. Therefore, while B is eating, you have to stay in the kitchen & watch her. When she has finished
(& she never eats everything in the bowl) put the bowl on top of the cupboard out of reach of T. If T manages to eat some of B’s food despite your precautions, deduct the amount he ate from his next meal.
B:
Inside the bag is a measuring glass, with “B” marked on it & a
maximum level. The maximum level is for B for one day. Since B never eats very much at one time, you might as well give her the maximum amount in her bowl all at once. When she has stopped eating, put the bowl out of reach. When she comes back in the kitchen asking for food, put the bowl down for her again, making sure T doesn’t get any. No need to throw away the biscuits she doesn’t eat. Just add more biscuits. She will eat everything eventually.  In the same cupboard where the food is, there is a box of vitamin pills &
little bags of anti-hairball treats. You can give each cat one of each of these each day, if you want to.

Catcare

They both like being stroked & played with. There are brushes and toys for them in the top second drawer from the right in the big chest of drawers in the hall.

Enjoy.

Comments
Beth

(Homepage)

on 14 June 2005 at 21:45

Clearly, you have never fed my cats. Doing so requires a 4 hour training course and memorization of a 216 page manual.

KateEvans

on 14 June 2005 at 22:11

That’s quite sweet and a little sick.

lauren35

on 14 June 2005 at 22:27

I can’t help but compare them to your instructions for looking after the Princess for 24 hours…..

jackdalton

on 14 June 2005 at 22:27

Whatever happened to bring them in, open a tin of KiteKat and a kick them out the door when done?
Those aren’t cats – they’re postmodern ersatz of some kind….

beachhutman

on 14 June 2005 at 22:45

Coated in mud and baked in a hot oven they make a nutricious snack

ladyjane

on 14 June 2005 at 22:46

The instructions sound like the “hard sums” we had to do in school….if T eats twice as fast as B and you use B’s measuring glass to fill one bowl for both to eat from, how long will it take for T to eat his/its recommended daily intake?

poggle

on 15 June 2005 at 10:46

That T must be a right porker if he can’t get on top of a cupboard …..

belgianwaffle

on 15 June 2005 at 21:54

Norah, Beth, you are obviously true cat lovers.
Kate, yes.
Lauren, that’s quite funny actually.
JD, well, yeah, that’s what I think…
BHM, precisely.
Ladyjane – excellent and very true.
Pog, T is one of the biggest cats I’ve ever seen. He’s the size of a small elephant with extra jowls.

Locotes

on 17 June 2005 at 18:24

Jesus. We’re big cat people (that’s not as exciting as it sounds) – but all we do is slap some Whiskas in a bowl and let him at it. Tell those guys to stops arsing about with their instructions and boot T out for some exercise.
Some people…

belgianwaffle

on 17 June 2005 at 21:12

Yes, well, he’s English and I think that the English are kind of sentimental about their cats.

Naming


Posted in: Reading etc., Twins

Some random things. I have been tagged by Fluid Pudding.
I am pleased and proud. Fluid Pudding is my hero, also I’ve  never been tagged before so am revelling in new found popularity. I will spend some time mulling and revert. Hang on to your hats.

Via the sarcastic journalist, I have found a baby name site
which I believe is worth exploring further. This reminds me of
Mr. Waffle’s reading on twins. It appears people often like to
give their twins names that go together like Bob and Dylan.
Really, is it any wonder children hate their parents?

Comments

Lilo

on 17 June 2005 at 11:42

I can commiserate, my H will be leaving me to go camping for 2 days while I look after a 2 year old and will be 7 months pregnant. He keeps on doing these ‘last chance before the baby comes’ things.

Kate_Sith

on 17 June 2005 at 12:20

We recently had a case involving twins called Darren and Derrin. That’s just cruel.

Locotes

on 17 June 2005 at 18:30

Tod and Rod could work.

belgianwaffle

on 17 June 2005 at 21:15

Undercover, I’d never noticed that before but I bet you are right.
Lilo, does he not realise that he already has a baby? Though I suppose that the thought of all three of you going together is worse than letting him off on his own.
Kate, Locotes, good suggestions, I’ve come up with Aurora and Dawn, I think I may be on to something here or should I stick with Gobnait and Fachtna (Kate, you think these aren’t real names, but they are, oh they are, Loc, back me up here).

beachhutman

on 17 June 2005 at 23:44

My cats are Fortnum and Mason. But not for twins. oooh noooo.

belgianwaffle

on 18 June 2005 at 08:08

Oh, I dunno, has a certain ring to it…

Locotes

on 19 June 2005 at 16:14

Larry and Barry.
Bill and Ben.
Grainne and Aine.
Or, of course, Podge and Rodge.I actually know a Fachtna – the poor sod…

Lilo

on 20 June 2005 at 12:46

To be fair, if I didn’t want him to go, he wouldn’t. I’m just worried about filling the time without us getting cross with each other.

belgianwaffle

on 20 June 2005 at 16:20

Lilo, you mean you and the infant I presume, most understandable.
Locotes, Ben and Jerry?

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 17:08

Haagen and Das?

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:55

Sandy and Lexy?

Tag


Posted in: Reading etc.

Total number of books IÂ’’ve owned: No idea, tons, loads. As many as I can afford, I suppose.

Last book I bought: Well, if we exclude “Smartest Giant in Town” which I bought only yesterday, then it’s “Small Island” by Andrea Levy which I am enjoying very much and have now forced my bookclub to read.


Last book I read:  Yesterday, I finally finished “The Bridge on the Drina” by Ivo Andric. Very worthy and most tiring. Have been reading it on and off for about a year I’d say (only about 300 pages but very dense pages).

Five books that mean a lot to me:

I’ve given this part of the question a lot of thought and I insist on explaining my answers.

“The Magician’s Nephew” by C.S. Lewis.  This was the first proper book I read, I think. They had it in the library at the back of the classroom when I was in first class and I remember struggling with it but persevering.  I still like it the best of all the Narnia
books.

“The Reluctant Widow” by Georgette Heyer. The first Georgette Heyer I read. I read it on a camping holiday with my family when I was about 12. I remember being amazed when the hero got together with the heroine (but they hate each other!). Maybe not
the best Georgette Heyer book but one that got me started on a lifetime of regency romances. I’d love to attribute this role to “Pride and Prejudice” which is much more highbrow and a book I’ve read at least 20 times but honesty compels me to say that if my choice of reading material on a desert island was between Jane Austen and
Georgette Heyer, I would not hesitate to select the latter.

“Portnoy’s complaint”  by Philip Roth. My first boyfriend in college made me read this and I didn’t want to. I thought it would be dull and difficult. But it was hilarious and opened up a whole world of American fiction to me that I thought would be hard and boring. I still have a soft spot for Philip Roth though I thought “American Pastoral” was dire.

“Bury me Standing: The Gypsies and Their journey” by Isabel Fonseca. My only non-fiction offering. I am not normally as fond of non-fiction as fiction but I loved this book.  It was fascinating. It also exposed to me many of the prejudices I have which I would have fervently denied in advance of reading this. A wonderful book. And if I were famous, they could put that on the back cover.

“What I Loved” by Siri Hustvedt. When I was pregnant with the Princess, my physiotherapist recommended this book to me. She said that there is was wonderful description of childbirth in it (do not be put off, this is a tiny bit of the book). She also said that she thought that Siri Hustvedt was an even better writer than her
husband Paul Auster. The thought that she (the physio) might like him put me off because I find Paul Auster terminally tedious.  However, it was not a time in my life when I felt it appropriate to ignore the advice of my physiotherapist and I was right. It is
the most marvellous book about art and relationships and children and also slightly sinister. Fantastic. So fantastic that though I started reading it only just before the Princess was due, I finished it before I got to hospital and ended up taking in “Cold Mountain” to read during labour. Not recommended.

Um, five isn’t very many, is it. If people felt like indulging me, I would like to see what Heather, Lauren (from her boat) and Mr. Dalton have to say. I’d like to know about other people too but I’ve grown tired of adding links.

Meanwhile over at the LRB, they’re out of control. You remember they refused to issue the Champagne prize for best personal on a trifling pretext recently? Look what I found in other recent editions:

“The Classified Manager cried when we asked him to name a winner. That’s becasue he loves you all equally. As such, he’ll be keepint this issue’s prize on the basis that it’s unfair to pick a favourite”.

and then

“Box no. 08/09 doesn’t like to waste time of frivolities. So we drank the champagne for her. The empty bottle is on its way.”

My sub is up for renewal. It’s about 100 euros. Should I do it? Or am I only fooling myself that I will have time to read it?

Comments
sus

on 19 June 2005 at 15:58

Yes to anything and everything Narnia (though I’m reserving judgement on the film coming out at Christmas), yes to Georgette Heyer and absolutely yes to Siri Hustvedt. What a book.

belgianwaffle

on 20 June 2005 at 16:26

Hiya Sus, always nice to have one’s views endorsed. We are obviously reading twins. Do you like Kate Atkinson and Mavis Cheek as well? By the by, fear film is bound to disappoint.

sus

on 21 June 2005 at 00:10

Have read both, lukewarm feelings I’m afraid.I know-feel the same re film-got all excited at the cinema when I saw the trailer (in May for Christmas?!) but was kind of disgusted: if they’re going to go the whole hog, which they probably are, series being so lucrative at the mo, why are they starting with the bloody LTheW&TheW? 0

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 14:21

Because Star wars started with Episode 4? 0

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:58

Sus, alas. JD has a point though. 0

sus

on 21 June 2005 at 23:54

Yes well.But I think you’ll both agree that there are a number of worlds of difference between Yoda and Aslan??? And just because Mr Lucas stuck his hand in the fire… 0

jackdalton

on 22 June 2005 at 12:23

Different worlds? Not at all — variation on a theme that’s all. But don’t get me started on that…. I have to kill a dog. 0

sus

on 22 June 2005 at 15:52

It being midday & you being an Englishman in the sun? 0

jackdalton

on 23 June 2005 at 00:00

English!?! English!!! 0

sus

on 24 June 2005 at 02:16

Well, I know. But you were all like “got to kill the dog” and it was midday…what’s a girl to think? (other than hee hee, successfully provoked?) 0

jackdalton

on 24 June 2005 at 11:04

Now that was just evil…. 😛 0

sus

on 25 June 2005 at 13:23

That’s right…welcome to my world. 0

belgianwaffle

on 25 June 2005 at 20:11

Hi Sus, hi Jack, glad to see you two engaging in some slagging here. 0

jackdalton

on 26 June 2005 at 14:45

So… et me get this right. You are calling Sus a slag?! 0

sus

on 26 June 2005 at 18:22

Eh, JD, I think I quote when I say “linguistically stunted”…to help you understand, I shall refer again to some worlds of difference, this time between the verb “to slag” and the noun “a slag”. Waffle, I knew what you were saying. 0

jackdalton

on 26 June 2005 at 18:57

Oh that’s ok so. I’d have been upset if you were. Because that would mean you were calling me one too. 😐
Thanks for the help Sus.
[ps I think the noun is slag; a being an indefinite article which can be added to a noun to form a noun group. But you would know that… being too old to classify as Generation Txt… 😛 ] 0

sus

on 27 June 2005 at 19:56

As you say. But I just didn’t want to confuse you with little details 😉 0

jackdalton

on 27 June 2005 at 20:45
(
Comment Modified) [Got away with the ‘too old to classify as gen txt’ comment…*(evil grin)*] 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

sus

on 28 June 2005 at 16:58

I thought it beneath me, really, to dignify that with a comment. But now I’m feeling happy happy happy so I will let you away with it… coz…
I know I’m younger than you. 0

jackdalton

on 28 June 2005 at 17:19

Ah… the cruellest cut! One of those five point palm exploding heart things… 0

belgianwaffle

on 28 June 2005 at 21:24

Hello, hello, it’s me, don’t forget me..I live here. 0

sus

on 28 June 2005 at 22:55

I know you do! Look at how harsh JD is being to me – be mean to him with me…I promise it’s fun 😉 0

jackdalton

on 29 June 2005 at 01:01

Harsh?! I’m being positivly a gentleman-ish.
Oh hi ‘waf. Sorry for hogging your bandwidth. It’s her fault though. She’s the one being mean & cruel. So I have to assume the hard, calculating, dead-eye cynical stance for self defence. A bit like you, really 😛 0

belgianwaffle

on 01 July 2005 at 21:37

Clears throat noisily before entering blog and watches JD and Sus leaping apart nervously. 0

jackdalton

on 01 July 2005 at 22:15

Story of it all, isn’t it… I spend my life leaping – and usually before looking – in and out of places and events.
[Anyway, she’s too old for me…. ] 0

belgianwaffle

on 02 July 2005 at 08:44

Yes, I understand that gen txt as we must know you from now on… 0

sus

on 11 July 2005 at 12:08

*peeks in*
*pats self on back for having read The Red Pony in Spanish*
*slides out again* (sinuosly coz nt nly s she yung bt also glriusly flxbl due 2 hrs spnt doing yga)
gen txt ws it? 0

jackdalton

on 11 July 2005 at 13:06

SEE!!! Cruel, clever snd mocking….. I’m going home and takin’ my football with me. So there… 😛 0

sus

on 12 July 2005 at 17:11

Football? And yet you never struck me as the sporty type 😉 0

jackdalton

on 12 July 2005 at 19:31

Hidden depths 😉 0

belgianwaffle

on 14 July 2005 at 20:46

Hello are you two still here? Get out and enjoy the sunshine. 0

jackdalton

on 14 July 2005 at 23:11

We are. In separate parts of Europe. But we are…. 😛 0

belgianwaffle

on 16 July 2005 at 07:29

Well, that’s good.. 0

sus

on 18 July 2005 at 17:50

*Gasps weakly*
It?s ten to seven and 36 degrees out there. Do I have to?
*bastes self in more sunscreen and crawls out again* 0

jackdalton

on 18 July 2005 at 17:52

AND she eats bee poo… 0

sus

on 18 July 2005 at 18:03

*raises eyebrow*
*shakes head*
More puerile humour, Mr D? I had expected more…(or less?) 0

belgianwaffle

on 18 July 2005 at 19:06

Hello, hello, just checking in to see that you’re both still ok here. 0

jackdalton

on 18 July 2005 at 19:07
(
Comment Modified) Well, I’m upset… she’s hurt my feelings. And I’m lashing out indiscriminately.
Besides, I’ll be ok in a day or two when I’m on my holidays. 0

sus

on 19 July 2005 at 20:26

You can have a little Haagen-Daaz too. (cures all wounds) 0

jackdalton

on 20 July 2005 at 22:13

Ok 🙂
But only if it’s Darina Allen haagen-dazs. And honey free. 0

sus

on 21 July 2005 at 17:26

Hmm. I think both DA and HD would be very distressed to know that you think they work together…
I have banned the honey & ordered an extra tub for your holliers 🙂 0

Home alone with her highness


Posted in: Princess

Despite the inauspicious beginning we had a really lovely
morning.  The weather was beautiful and she was so good. We went to the park together and she chatted away feeding me pretend food “tiens maman, du saumon et des pommes de terre, do you want a lollipop?”  One of the other mothers said “she speaks like a three year old” and my heart filled with unbearable smugness though it is unclear to me how this woman would know as her own child is only 20 months and she was certainly far too young to have any older children.

Then we then went for breakfast together (yeah, well, we had to try again after the earlier disaster). She spent her time between mouthfuls of yoghurt intermittently chatting to me and to her father (via her large green plastic mobile phone). It was a pity she wouldn’t actually talk to him on the real phone when he called this morning, but you can’t have everything. I could hear the people beside us talking about her and saying what a good child she was and how much fun it must be going out to eat with her. Let’s not push it here people, but still, all very gratifying. She was even good at mass which unprecedented event was noted by the kindly priest when he chatted to her on our departure.  I found this a little alarming as it clearly means he does notice her, ahem, slightly less
virtuous behaviour on other Sundays. He asked whether she had been baptised and I was able to set his mind at rest on this point.  Does he really think that I would take my two year old to mass every Sunday and chase her round the back of the church yet somehow not have got around to christening her? Humph.
When we got home, I found that I had two little black  handprints on my back from where the Princess had given me a hug in the sandpit after I had applied suncream. Otherwise I am sure I presented an immaculate appearance at breakfast and at mass. As I put her to bed for her nap, I decided to
apply some wisdom from Supernanny which was given to us by the publishing exec on her last visit (no hint intended, I am sure) and which I had been flicking through during the Liveaid extravaganza and told her that I had had a lovely morning and she had been really good. She seemed most pleased. I hope she will like as much the firm but fair “voice of authority” which I intend to try out next time she unloads her dinner on the floor.

Comments
Bobble

on 19 June 2005 at 20:14

Lovely images Waffly x

poggle

on 20 June 2005 at 11:22

The little black handprints sound kind of stylish …..

belgianwaffle

on 20 June 2005 at 16:22

Locotes, well we live in a flat so we’d actually have to put her outside the front door for a naughty step so that seems a bit extreme – we’ll see how we get on with the voice of authority.
Bobble, you are very kind and, quite clearly, half Italian.
Pog, no, truly, I promise you.

Maternity wear


Posted in: Family, Twins

Mother: And how are you feeling darling?
Me: Well, actually, still a bit nauseous and sore back and, a thing I didn’t have last time, swollen ankles.
Mother: Why do you think that is?
Me: I suppose I’m heavier, I weigh 66 kilos, you know.
Mother: 66 kilos!!� That’s more than me. [You should know that my mother is considerably taller than me].
Me: I am six months pregnant WITH TWINS.
Mother: Do you look pregnant then?
Me: I refer you to my previous answer.
Mother (nostalgically): When I was pregnant no one ever knew that you were pregnant until right at the end.
Me: Well, that’s the late 60s/70s for you mother, flowing kaftans and maxis have their uses.
Mother (in tones of disapproval): I suppose you wear those figure hugging things that I see pregnant women around town in.
Me: Yes. No kaftans for me.
Mother (sighs audibly): I suppose it’s the fashion.

Comments
kristin

on 20 June 2005 at 16:49

For what it’s worth, i weigh 66 kilos without the benefit of carrying twins. Onward and upward. Take yourself and Princess Waffle out for a nice pastry.

jackdalton

on 20 June 2005 at 17:30

And would that be with or without clothing… 😐

KateEvans

on 20 June 2005 at 18:07

I imagine in those 70s kaftans everyone just thought you were getting a bit hefty. We all hear stories about how ‘no one knew X was pregnant until she had the baby’, but have you ever known one of these women personally? I frankly don’t think they exist, unless of course they are massive to begin with.

Bobble

on 20 June 2005 at 21:27

Did your mother say that if you cut your hair you won’t attract a man either?

Minkleberry

on 21 June 2005 at 09:23

My mum says the same thing to me. They’re kidding themselves…

Lilo

on 21 June 2005 at 12:31

At the weekend my stepmother asked me, ‘Don’t you feel uncomfortable wearing those tight clothes?’. My reply; ‘At this stage, clothes are the last things making me feel uncomfortable.’

beachhutman

on 21 June 2005 at 16:19

I’ve still got one of those kaftans somewhere…….

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 16:50

I never saw you as the blatant bump revealing type. How…interesting. You have the matching pink tracksuit bottoms I assume?

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:57

Pog, Minks, I dunno, those maxis were very flowing…
Kristin, thank you for your words of comfort. Jack, I’m ignoring that.
Lilo, well at least you’re nearly there…
BHM, a terrifying insight.
Locotes, you will recall that you are me in drag or vice versa. I rely on you to advise.

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 22:03

What?! What have I done now?!
[looks back through comments]
Oh. Well anyway, be like that if you must I was just being encouraging and supportive. You know: indicating that despite your Aunt Marge-ish dimensions there are some who still find you interesting and attractive…. 😉
Besids it’s not fair. Locotes gets away with that most lewd, chav-like comparison and I’m ignored just because I’m being emotionally supportive. Like a kind of digital / bloggosphere 40 denier opaque…

Bobble

on 21 June 2005 at 23:11

I shall always think of you Jack when I’m in the M&S Hosiery department.

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 23:24

Bobs: my life would thus be complete….
Though I’d rather hoped it would be Le Senza or Knickerbox or somewhere a bit more that-ish…. 😉

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 23:41

Yes of course, I forgot. In that case, for the love of God, we should ditch the trackies and cover the bump. A beautiful thing and all that, but our neighbours and co-workers don’t need to see that much detail.Also, I’m glad I/you/us/we agree that jack’s pervy nudie-related comment was highly uncalled for. The bare-faced cheek of it all…..as it were.

Bobble

on 21 June 2005 at 23:42

Then you’d have to be a 10 denier gloss Jack.

belgianwaffle

on 25 June 2005 at 20:14

Jack, you will remember that I am Locotes in drag, of course he can get away with anything. Locotes, the bump is not exposed. Do not panic.
Bobble, you know you’re only encouraging him.