Boys
Unanswerable
Michael: Why is the light for the bathroom outside the door?
Me: So that you don’t electrocute yourself turning it on and off with wet hands.
Michael: But when the light is outside, your enemies can turn it off when you’re on the toilet.
There’s always one
The clocks went back on Sunday. We forgot. We arrived for 11.30 mass at what we thought was 11.45 (punctual as ever). It was in fact 10.45 and the priest was finishing 10.00 mass. As we walked through the door, he said, “The mass is ended, go in peace to love and serve the Lord.” Daniel, who had been the cause of our lateness, was very taken aback. He had been told that, if he hurried, he would not miss the Sunday school thing in the sacristy. Now, mass had ended. He started to howl at the top of his voice (a very loud place), “Mass is ended, oh no, mass is ended.” You might have thought that fellow worshippers would have rejoiced at this evidence of youthful enthusiasm, but no.
Package
We ordered cereal bowls from Kellogg’s at the request of the children. Our old friends, Snap, Crackle and Pop arrived a couple of weeks ago but there was no sign of the figure whom Messrs Kelloggs refer to as “Cornelius the Cockerel”. Michael was becoming increasingly agitated on this point but, today, it arrived. “Cornelius the Cockroach!” he cried happily clutching it to his bosom.
Another One
At a certain stage, the Princess started reading and saying things backwards. Now Daniel has started. Could it be because they’re left handed? Or do all children do that?
Overheard
Michael: Who are you?
Daniel: I’m Ben 10!
Michael: Never heard of you, you must be from a different channel.