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Siblings

Rehearsing Old Arguments with People too Busy Skiing to Care


Posted in: Princess, Siblings

When we were teenagers, my brother and I fought all the time. We must have driven my poor parents insane. One of our biggest bones of contention was washing-up. For many years, my mother resisted the introduction of a dishwasher to our family home on the grounds that her sisters-in-law were against them. Like many of the better examples of modern technology, it was only introduced after I left home. I digress.

I cannot sit comfortably in the knowledge that the dishes await my attention next door. My brother could sit comfortably in this knowledge indefinitely. So, I was always at him to get up and get on with it. And he always said that he would, in time. But by the time he had finished drying a plate my sister and I would have done everything else around him. Or worse, he would breeze in at the end of our labours and claim credit for doing the work based on a paltry contribution of 2 minutes’ work. He and I used to row like blazes about this (my sister just kept working with her head down).

His argument was that I was obsessive about cleaning and, anyhow, I liked washing up. For him, he argued, it was all sacrifice but for me, it was satisfying. This used to drive me to the edge of reason (a spectacle he always enjoyed).

The other day the Princess and I went to her room and cleared out her “make and do” box. This was a bulging cesspit of random (loosely) craft related material which squatted ominously in the corner of her room. We shrunk it, we re-organised it. And it gives me a warm inner glow; even after several days. Isn’t it annoying the way siblings have insights into your character that elude you until you are middle aged?

But, just so we’re clear here, I’d still rather have sat on the sofa and had someone do it for me.

Where is my Willpower?


Posted in: Family, Siblings

Sometimes I stay up late into the night surfing the internet. My almost famous connection (give it time – also, buy her book) put up a blog post about make-up wherein she said “I’ve just spent about 45 minutes watching make-up videos by Lisa Eldridge”. “Ha,” I thought to myself “well I might as well have a quick look at this before I go to bed as there is no way I would spend 45 minutes looking at a make-up video.” Bear in mind that I last bought something for my make-up bag in the 1990s. It’s not that I don’t wear make-up, it’s just that I take my sister’s free gifts from her amazingly extensive collection. But yet, I found Ms. Eldridge strangely compelling and 45 minutes later (at 3.45 am, alas), I finally tore myself away from her advice and found myself contemplating my first make up purchase since 1995.

It’s going to be a clinique airbrush; I thought you would like to know.

He was Born to be the Child of a Billionaire


Posted in: Siblings

You may recall that my brother had a three month holiday in the Americas in late 2011. Then earlier this month, he departed for a month’s skiing in Chamonix. It was cheaper to buy skis for four weeks than to hire them. And it was cheaper to get a season pass than four weekly passes. So now that he has his season pass and his skis, he’s decided that he should stay for an extra fortnight. So that he can get value from his skis and season pass. I’m not bitter.

Oh yeah, here’s what he says about the trip so far:

Hi folks, all’s well in Chamonix, el cuerpo demanded a day off skiing after 8 days today. I have had an absolutely brilliant time, but the one slightly disconcerting thing about skiing is that the better you get at skiing the more you realise how bad you are at it. When I started I used to think I’d be as good as the locals in no time, ignorance is bliss, like being so far behind in a race that that you think you’re winning.
At this stage I can do all the pistes comfortably if not stylishly, off piste on the other hand feels like seconds from disaster all the time………. had some fairly spectacular wipe outs during my off piste lesson on Saturday, but made progress in a crash and learn type of way, (at one stage I was thinking ‘go mberimid beo ar an am seo amarach’), needless to say Mum just in case you’re worried the only thing I’m in danger of injuring is my ego. The problem with off piste is you have to be light and agile: my 85kg frame and public sector union flexibility are not helping matters. Still I’m hoping to be an all mountain skier by the end of this junket. Speaking of which I decided to push out my return date by a further 2 weeks, in my own head I managed to spin this as a money saving decision, I bought the skies and have a season pass so it would be a waste not to get more use from them, right????

The weather when I arrived was unbelievably cold -25 or something; it was like spending the day in the freezer at home next to the peas from 1993. After my first day skiing my designer stubble was frozen white and I looked bit like one of the guys from those photos of the Scott expedition. Next day I got a Balaclava and end up looking more like an IRA man than an Antarctic explorer, but didn’t need to be thawed out. This week has seen the temp pick up, the blue skies and spectacular scenary have made the place much more like a holiday brochure. As for French, the other objective of the trip which hasn’t received much coverage in the mail, I think I’m starting to get it back a bit of it back, more updates to follow. Anyway have to sign off now and get some sleep as it’s been snowing today and tomorrow is going to be a brilliant days skiing.

Enjoying the Recession


Posted in: Siblings

My brother took a redundancy package from his job last year. They gave him a good package and he has no personal debt. He spent the last three months of 2011 travelling around the US and central America and pitched up in Cork at Christmas.

Over the holidays, he was muttering darkly about having to spend “upskilling and retraining funds” his company had given him as part of his package. In my mind’s eye, I think I saw him doing a diploma in accountancy. I understand that he has suggested to the company and they have approved that he should spend 3 weeks in February in Chamonix improving his French. I am speechless with envy tinged with reluctant admiration.

Do you know the way to San Jose?


Posted in: Siblings, Travel

My brother is still travelling around the Americas. He sends funny emails. They deserve a wider audience. Also, I’ve got nothing.

Hi folks,
Greetings from Costa Rica…the name of the place means rich coast in case ye were wondering. Having an amazing time landed in San Jose on Oct 31…the town I stayed in first is right beside the airport it’s called Alajuela and is the second city. From Alajuela I met a few people that had a car and we went to the Poas volcano….to see the raw ferocity of nature, unfortunately we could only hear it as the crater of the volcano was covered by dense cloud, in fact the visibility was so bad that I could barely see the picture of the volcano on the board beside the view point.

Next was into San Jose….I have a strange ambition in life to ask stupid questions (an ambition oddly unfulfilled by years of obsessive curiosity) like going into Tiffany’s in New York and asking for breakfast or asking someone how long the Camptown race track is or asking someone does it rain in southern California (although the latter was answered emphatically yes by mother nature during my visit there). So in the taxi to San Jose I was presented with the ideal opportunity to ask the driver ‘do you know the way to San Jose’ …….hoping for a fitting acknowledgement of my great wit instead I got a confused look and a reply ‘of course I know the way to San Jose I’m a local taxi driver’ I said you know the song attempting to back track…..negative…tried to change the subject for a way out but the increasingly uncomfortable situation ended up with me having to produce a rendition of the song which was even worse than the original if you can imagine that. The driver couldn’t produce a false laugh to conclude the episode ……finally I escaped the Irish way by talking about the weather.

Next stop was Montezuma on the Pacific coast….planned only to stay 2 days but ended up there a week, it was that kind of place. I took Spanish lessons for the week and made impressive progress albeit from a low base, so much so that I was able to spot the error in the name of the hotel where I stayed next, Casa tranquilo was the name, I questioned the owner why it wasn’t Casa Tranquila as casa was a feminine noun, it turns out I was right but that the incorrect name would be more catchy for the Gringo tourists. I also went surfing with somewhat less success, did manage to get standing on the board just about but with about as much control as a trainee teacher in a northside school.

I stayed in a really cool place in Montezuma called Luna llena (full moon). It was in the middle of the jungle which was amazing except for the time I woke up in the middle of the night to see a giant cockroach buzzing around, I’m afraid to say I left myself down badly; I was completely unable to retain my strong silent type composure, I eventually managed to kill the bug after a terrifying struggle. The mozzies also seemed to see my legs as an all you can eat buffet. Otherwise everything was brilliant met great people and had an absolute blast. The other big thing there was yoga, in new age speak the whole idea is to become one with el cuerpo and connect with the source, I’m afraid during my attempt at yoga the source remained distant, I listened to my body as instructed but my body answered back what the hell are you doing you muppet, I’m definitely in need of more enlightenment.

Next was inland to Monteverde which is a cloud forest, the big thing here is spotting wildlife in the forest. Day 1, got up at 5am for a bird watching trip, (you are thinking there is something drastically wrong here 5am me and bird watching could never inhabit the same sentence unless as a set up for a punch line or something, but no this is a statement of fact, I really did do this). We got to see some cool stuff including the Toucan from the Guinness commercial, I didn’t get any cool photos, spectacular wildlife shots are typically not captured by a sleep deprived, unskilled photographer with a severely mistreated compact camera. Also did a night hike and got to see a tarantula which was very impressive. At the moment I am in a place which is known for it’s active volcano…going to see the lava fields today, my knowledge of thermal landscapes has not been developed since Inter Cert Geography so there’s going to be some scope to learn something new I’d say……will report back.