belgianwaffle

Siblings

Conversations with my Family


Posted in: Family, Siblings

My mother: Really?
Me: Yes, that wardrobe is surprisingly narrow, I’ve measured it.
My mother: Have you considered that you may want to open it?

My brother: So I was thinking that I might come and visit.
Me: That would be lovely.
Him: When does your holiday end?
Me: In April.
Him (in tones of deep shock): My God, you’re not even protesting anymore.*
Me: I’m too tired to protest.

*You will be aware that I am on maternity leave not on holidays.

Comments
kristin
(Homepage)
on 06 February 2006 at 15:57
holiday, pah.
Locotes
on 08 February 2006 at 15:32
Free holidays are great aren’t they?*backs away slowly for fear of getting a clatter*
belgianwaffle
on 15 February 2006 at 12:50
Duck!

First World Problems


Posted in: Siblings, Twins

Our fridge is broken. I rang my sister for sympathy.

Me (dolefully): Guess what?
Her: What?
Me: Our fridge has broken down.
Her: Thank God, I thought that you were going to say that you were pregnant.

I rang the Baroness’s agent (yes our landlady is a Baroness, welcome to Belgium, land of minor aristocracy) but
Charles-Emmanuel was unmoved by our plight. “But,” I pleaded “we have twin babies, we really NEED a fridge.” “Madam,” he said unmoved, “everybody needs a fridge.”

In fairness, however, the Baroness and her ex-husband (all the tenants wish that they’d get back together, he’s very handy and efficient) turned up to inspect the offending fridge, pronounced it dead and have since arranged for a new one to be purchased. Delivery is, alas, still pending. This is a matter of particular regret to me since I bought a lot of post-Christmas discount foie gras (in Belgium, foie gras is for Christmas not for life) and now it all has to be chucked.
Comments

Bobble

on 18 January 2006 at 15:49
We’ll come round and help you out with the eating.

Friar Tuck

on 18 January 2006 at 16:11
Maybe you could send the foie gras to the baroness in order to stress the importance of receiving a new fridge ASAP.

on 18 January 2006 at 16:37
Why *minor* aristocracy ? Aristocracy is measured by its origins in time, rather than a scale of titles … Your baroness could very well be from a family dating from the 12th century, and a Count might as well be from a family belonging to aristocracy since the early 1900’s …

jackdalton

on 18 January 2006 at 20:48
Just as well, knowing what foie gras is supposed to do to the libido…

Friar Tuck

on 19 January 2006 at 02:26
Baroness makes a good point. Take my family, for instance. We can trace our origins back to Adam and Eve.

kristin

on 19 January 2006 at 04:39
just recovering from my posting faux pas of a few days ago to say … ‘toast points for everyone!’ i am quite jealous that you have good foie gras available to you, nevermind its incipient demise.

belgianwaffle

on 19 January 2006 at 12:08
It is very gratifying to discover that you all like foie gras.
Baroness, with all due respect, no matter how old a baronetcy is, I think that it’s pretty low down the pecking order.

poggle

on 19 January 2006 at 12:45
That’s awful – just awful – throwing away foie gras is a tragedy

belgianwaffle

on 20 January 2006 at 12:15
Pog, I am delighted to add you to the long list of my readers who are foie gras fans. Perhaps we could set up a club.

poggle

on 20 January 2006 at 12:53
Yes – we could have secret handshakes and codes (eg the grey geese fly at dawn). Ahem.

jackdalton

on 20 January 2006 at 13:18
Hmmm, grey geese that fly at dawn etc. Another unexpected depth to the Pog(gle).
But what I really wanted to say was that I have vague memories of being emotionally savaged by a policy wonk / veggie type I loved deeply but too well because of what they do to geese to make foie gras. All about locking them in barns, force-feeding them, clipping wings and oversized livers that made their legs break. And so on.
Kind of put me off for a while. But I’m allright now…
Ain’t time a wonderful thing?!

poggle

on 20 January 2006 at 13:20
Your policy wonk/veggie type was telling the truth. I am a bad person. Sometimes my appetite outweighs my conscience. But you already knew that, right?

jackdalton

on 20 January 2006 at 13:51
We are all bad people in some small ways; unthinkingly dragging (one of our two) new blankets through the gutters of life. Except ‘waf. Who is amazingly stoic and clear-sighted or something.
(Can anything truly outweigh conscience? Just wondering…. )

poggle

on 20 January 2006 at 13:53
You’re right, of course. My conscience doesn’t generally get outweighed. Sometimes it gets pushed to the back because of an excess of vin rouge (or similar), but not for long.

belgianwaffle

on 23 January 2006 at 09:08
Conscience? What’s that? The grey geese fly at dawn, my friends.

jackdalton

on 23 January 2006 at 20:41
So that would be geese and conscience flying with the wind….. 0

belgianwaffle

on 25 January 2006 at 08:51
Eh, yes Jack. 0

Dehli!


Posted in: Siblings

My sister has been working for the same American multinational since leaving college.  She started in the UK, then she was sent to Germany, then China, then the US.  Each move was accompanied by a promotion and a hefty salary increase. I bask in her reflected glory and only experience very mild envy, no really.   Guess where she’s off to in the new year with promotion and hefty salary increase? Just as well, another Chicago winter would have killed her.

Comments

poggle

on 16 December 2005 at 11:41

Is there a clue in the title at all? It’s Brockley, isn’t it? That’s the name of my local Indian restaurant …

kristin

(Homepage)

on 16 December 2005 at 15:02

My wanderlust heart is green with envy. How’s that for a mixed metaphor?

Friar Tuck

on 17 December 2005 at 16:23

Ahh, I have fond memories of the case of “Ghandi’s revenge” I experienced in Delhi. Well, maybe not exactly fond.

belgianwaffle

on 09 January 2006 at 10:18

You should contact my sister and tell her all about the attractions..

Corrections and Clarifications


Posted in: Middle Child, Siblings, Twins, Youngest Child

“Dear sibling,

Either you misunderstood me or are being liberal with the truth for literary purposes. If it’s the latter fine (never let the truth interfere with a good story) – if it’s the former I think you should remember I said I would give them 5 minutes of crying before I pick them up – usually babies cry more when I hold them. 5 minutes or until I get frustrated with Sudoku!

Anyway if they know what’s good for them they will not get into a battle of wills with me (for I never lose such battles).”[Editor’s note: this is, in fact, correct].

Comments

KateEvans

on 14 December 2005 at 16:36

This is precisely why I never write stuff about my brother on my blog.

belgianwaffle

on 15 December 2005 at 12:27

Siblings. Blah.

Tough School


Posted in: Middle Child, Siblings, Twins, Youngest Child

My sister has volunteered to babysit while we’Â’re in Cork.

“Just so long as you don’t expect me to pick them up when they cry”.

Comments

giftofthegab

on 08 December 2005 at 19:47

sure, cos like being the only adult alone in a room with 2 screaming babies is so much better than having to pick them up.

formerfilmexpert

on 08 December 2005 at 19:57

well they must stop crying eventually!

belgianwaffle

on 09 December 2005 at 07:58

Sez, Gotg, please note corrections and clarifications.

Telephone Etiquette


Posted in: Middle Child, Siblings, Twins, Youngest Child

My sister and I spoke on the phone during the week.

Round I

Me:  You’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.

Her: Why?

Me (triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!

Her: What? What?

Me: I dropped Michael.

Her: Oh God!

Me: Not very far and on to the sofa, he didn’t like it much though.

Daniel poos.

Me:  Did you hear that?

Her:  I was trying to ignore it.

Me: That was your nephew doing a poo.

Her: Too much information.

Me: But my life is full of poo at the moment.

Her (tartly): But mine doesn’t have to be.

Me (grudgingly):  Fair point.

Round II

Me:  I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell me…

Her: No.

Me: Why not?

Her (crabbily):  I haven’t seen you much since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I got my nose bitten off.

Me (even more crabbily):  Have you any idea how hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?

Her (hastily): Anyway, I haven’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.

Me: It’s still all the same.

Her: Pregnant silence.

Me: Oh I see.

Knock out

Her: Anyway, I’ve got to go, I have a meeting.

Me: But you can’t go, I’m stuck under two feeding babies.

Her: Sorry.

Me (desperately): But I havenÂ’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio is off.

Her: Gotta go, bye, talk to you soon.

I spend the next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 21 November 2005 at 17:58

I’m trying, unsuccessfully, to work myself up to the expected level of indignation toward sis.

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 09:19

Yes, Minks and to add insult to injury a parcel arrived from her in the post yesterday for the Princess and the boys and now I feel guilty as well…
FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone. 0
Sweetie(s) given