I know, I’m not allowed to be bored what with all you wage slaves out there struggling away to meet deadlines and me being idle while my baby sleeps. But I am bored. So there. And it’s raining. Am so bored that I have completed a number of ghastly tasks that have been looming over me for some time. I may even try to write a second paragraph of my book. You know, the one that lacks plot, characters and dialogue. All I need now is for my mother to come in and tell me that if I’m really that bored I can go and tidy my room.
Look, if you’re very lucky and I get a good reference from Heather (ha ha), you may be able to blogsit for me. Surely that’s better than any goody bag. By the by, the publishing exec informs me that MY goody bag is on its way and it is excellent.
I have a solution; have you ever noticed that you’re never bored when you have some horrible task to do? What you must do is decide that you really ought to update your CV / paint the cellar / wash the car / polish the cutlery / read one of those books you bought because you really ought to read it. As soon as you’ve decided that’s what you ought to be doing you’ll suddenly find a plethora of little things to occupy yourself with for “just five minutes more before you get started”. Works for me.
I’ll talk to you later about the reference but first of all I want to have words with you about stealing my idea for the book wiht no plot, characters or dialogue – there’s only room for one of those at the time.
It’s really bad if you’ve vacuumed under things or behind things.
Norah, I’ve done all that. No really, it’s just ghastly, I’m contemplating going through my old electricity bills and throwing out ones that are more than 6 years old. Heather, I would love to Hoover but am terrified it would wake herself and her views on the hoover are overwhelmingly negative…actually, I suppose if I was really bored I could wake the Princess, you know, Norah, you’re right, there are a couple of bits and pieces I should see to like putting up that picture etc.
By the by Heather, I suspect that there probably is a market for our plotless, characterless, dialogueless books (TM). We are post-post-modern. I think that PPM books are also very short. Maybe a paragraph and a half?