Her: Look Mummy, it’s a photograph of you!
Me: On the CD cover?
Her: There, there!
Me: That’s Julia Roberts. [Is it necessary to say that I do not in any way whatsoever resemble Julia Roberts? Also, please don’t despise us for having the CD of songs from “Mona Lisa Smile” ].
Me: What do you think of my new top?
Her: It’s not pretty.
Me: Why not?
Her: It’s got no sparkles. And it’s not pink.
Me: Hmm, but still.
Her (relentlessly): And it makes you look fat. [Is it necessary to say that I am sensitive to any criticism that may be made on this point, however ill-informed; please witness previous dialogue for an illustration of my daughter’s powers of observation].