Today we had a team bonding session in a beautiful outdoor adventure place. It was sunny. I know these things are supposed to be ghastly but I really enjoyed it. I spent the afternoon on a lake in a small dinghy with my boss. He had never sailed before. I haven’t sailed in years and years and thought I had forgotten everything I knew. It turned out I remembered a bit and I got increasingly rude to my lovely boss. Conversations tended to go a bit like this:
Me: OK, are you going to turn?
Him: I don’t know what I’m doing.
Me: Neither do I really but we’re catching some wind now. Stay straight.
Him (leaning back and pulling the tiller to him): OK.
Me: JESUS, I said keep the tiller straight, you are going to **** capsize us.
Him (apologetically): Sorry, I keep forgetting I’m holding it.
Me: Further choice words followed by, um, sorry, I was very rude there, I’m an eldest child.
Despite (or quite possibly because of) my shouting, we managed to capsize five times. This is hardly a tribute to our vessel’s captain (that, I think, would be me, the bossy one). As he hauled himself cheerfully out of the water for the fifth time and yanked me in by the life jacket he said happily “we were going really fast there!”
Oh how I will miss this job.