I like my job and I like my colleagues but due to a series of administrative glitches, I do not yet have an office. I try to be above caring but I do not like it oh no I do not. I am huddled in a large room with other people. I want to be alone so that I can talk to my childminder in private or even concentrate on some work. Nor do I particularly want to hear other people’s phone conversations. Due to a series of canny career choices, I have not had to share office space very often in my professional life and I am not enjoying it on this occasion.
I am being driven demented by the two lovely, lovely men who work in the corner and have some rather annoying verbal tics.
Lovely man 1: Well, they won’t be attending the meeting as such.
Lovely man 2: I can only say they ought to be there.
Lovely man 1: They would know that as such.
LM2: I can only say the chair will be disappointed.
LM1: They will be sending their apologies as such.
LM2: Will they? I can only say that it is a mistake not to come.
I was cruelly telling a friend this and asked whether I had any verbal tics and was quite disconcerted to find that he said, with some relief, “yes, you say fabulous all the time”.
I imagine that when I am not there, scene in the corner goes something like this.
LM1: It’s not that I object to the word ‘fabulous’ as such.
LM2: I can only say that it’s a good word in its place.
LM1: It’s just that she says it all the time as such.