Me: Can I book a table for two for Saturday night?
Restaurant: I’m afraid we’re fully booked.
Me: How about the following Saturday?
Restaurant: That’s fully booked too and the week after as well.
Me: Well, when do you have a table for two on a Saturday night?
Restaurant: Not until after the end of April.
Me: OK, can I have a table for two on the first Saturday in May?
Restaurant: Bookings for May, June and July only open on the first of March. And, if you are hoping for a Saturday night, I would advise you to ring early on the 1st.
What recession?
And then, at the doctor’s.
Me: Can I make an appointment?
Receptionist: When would suit?
Me: I wonder could I book something for Wednesday of next week?
Receptionist: We don’t open bookings for next week until Friday afternoon.
Really, why?