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Archives for 4 June, 2014

Blood and Gore

4 June, 2014
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Dublin, Ireland, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

My loving husband was virtuously cleaning the cooker one morning and managed to give himself a knock on the overhead extractor which led to him bleeding copiously all over the kitchen floor and down the side of his face in a very dramatic manner. The children and I were very alarmed. No more cooker cleaning for him.

In other – admittedly tenuously connected – blood on the kitchen floor stories, the cat caught a blackbird and brought it into the house. A blackbird is quite a big bird to have in the house, particularly when a cat is haring after it in delight. The childminder and the children ran out of the house and shouted at the cat and the bird through the kitchen window with results such as you might expect. The childminder rang Mr. Waffle for directions on opening the kitchen window (trickier than you might think – particularly from outside). The Princess bravely ventured in and scooped up the cat and locked her into Michael’s room to the cat’s intense chagrin. The bird lay behind the kettle with a wing stuck out at an odd angle. The kitchen was plastered with blood and feathers. The childminder and the boys went to inspect the damage and the bird, like something from a creepy horror movie, sprang up on its feet and gave them heart failure. It began to fly again just as Mr. Waffle, feeling that support was needed on the home front, came back so he was able to help usher it out the window. Then he set to clearing up blood and feathers so that by the time I got home from work all that remained was a dramatic story and small feathers which turned up for quite a while in the oddest places. Is he not a saint?

IMAG0233
Cat looking as though butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

Lights, Camera, Action, Budget

4 June, 2014
Posted in: Princess

The Princess had a fantastic maths class recently. Each group of students was given a budget of €800 and told to produce a film.

There was a range of rules, such as:
Brad Pitt will halve his fee if Rowan Atkinson is in the film but Rowan Atkinson will double his, if Brad Pitt is in the film;
Brad Pitt needs €5 a day lunch money. Comment from herself – what is he eating? Comment from me – how much is Neve Campbell charging? Her – Nothing, she brings her own lunch.

Herself was very well up on the maths but perhaps less so on popular culture – sample conversation as reported to me:
Boy in her group: So, we’re going to need to cast Brad Pitt.
Her: Why can’t we have Adam Sandler; he’s much cheaper.
Boy: We can’t have Adam Sandler in a horror movie.
Her: Maybe he could expand his repertoire.

Boy: And we’ll need an axe.
Her: It costs €30 for a weapon kit. Can we not use other weapons aside from the axe to get value for our money?
Boy: No.

I don’t know much about films but I think that she might be a born producer.

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