Herself: So, Dumbledore says that for the challenge he is going to match Harry and Hermione. Then Karkarov, says that he can’t have Hermione because he needs her for Krum. So Dumbledore says he is going to match Harry with Cho but then he can’t have Cho because Cedric Diggory is rescuing her. So Dumbledore says, [insert dramatic pause here], stop sinking my ships.
Both parents: Sorry, I don’t get it.
Her: Stop sinking my ships!
Both parents: Nope.
Her: Do you know what a ship is, short for a relationship?
Us: What?
Her: You know, you can have a cannon ship, a cross ship, a submarine, a crack ship, a cross crack ship, then there’s your OTP and your NOTP, of course.
She explained all those terms in detail. People, there is a whole world out there. I will have a teenager living in my house from next week. Expect regular updates on what the young people are talking about.