Last night, I ordered takeaway from the local gastropub. It’s only a 5 minute cycle away. A 10 minute cycle back as we live up a hill. But I was tired and took the car. I had to go the long way round because of the bollards at the end of the road. When I got on to gastropub road, the traffic was backed up for roadworks. I turned off the main road and went by a sneaky rat run but at the end of my rat run, the traffic was backed up forever. I was talking to my sister via the phone on the radio (is that bluetooth?) and after about 15 minutes with the engine switched off, I hopped out of the car to walk up the road to see what was happening. I took my sister off the radio and walked up holding the phone to my ear. Surprise result: the roadworks were holding everyone up at this junction too. As I got back to my car, the traffic finally started moving, I hurriedly said to my sister, before tossing the phone on to the passenger seat “Stay on the line, I’ll put you back on bluetooth in a sec,” and turned on the engine. There was a Guard passing and she looked at me, smiled and wagged a finger. I was fit to be tied and tried unsuccessfully to gesture that I was not talking on the phone while driving one handed. I suppose, really, it was a fair cop though.
Anyhow, I picked up my take away eventually and carried it home triumphantly. I had the “buttermilk crispy chicken” and I had a different vision from what I got which was basically chicken nuggets.
In short, the whole thing was not my finest hour.
Lads, even Homer nods.