Archives for December 2021

The Final Lap

24 December, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Cork, Daniel, Family, Ireland, Michael, Princess, Siblings

It’s all go. I mean not as much all go as it was for my colleague who had an emergency stent fitted the other day, but pretty busy. I have to say we all got a shock when this older but apparently fit and very popular man nearly died on us in the run up to Christmas. Hurrah for modern medicine. He’s safely home and planning a quiet Christmas.

I got into the Huguenot graveyard in the centre of town during the week. It is almost always closed but a man was painting the gate and he let me slip in illicitly. There was a big plaque to Jacques de la Fontaine. I went and looked him up and thanks to the internet, I found a whole book he had written about his life. He had bad times in Cork, unintentionally hilariously described. It was strange to think of this man whose grave I pass daily having a life in Ireland a good 400 years ago. It’s all intimations of mortality around here at the moment. And also, I seem to have put out my lower back. Does this augur well for the ice skating session I have booked for us on St. Stephen’s Day? I think not.

The return of my first born continues to be a source of delight. She had three friends from primary school around for dinner on Monday. These girls who I have known since they were tiny tots of 4 have turned into beautiful, charming grown up Amazons (all very tall, I must say, something in the water?).

I was chatting to her the other night and asked whether she read the blog. A bit. “You’re funnier on the blog than in real life,” she offered. “I know what you’re thinking, you’re going to put that on the blog. Listen here, I’m more than a content farm.” Meta paragraph right here for you, all the literary tricks are being deployed.

I was amused to hear Mr Waffle talking to Michael the other morning in the kitchen before school. As I was standing in the hall I heard him ask in slightly surprised tones, “Are you following the election in Chile, Michael?” He is, apparently. This slightly nerdish streak in my children means that the Christmas receipt of school reports is generally an occasion for rejoicing and so it was on this occasion. Teachers love children with views on the Chilean elections, it appears.

We’re in Cork for Christmas. It’s quite the logistical challenge, my sister was in Dublin during the week and she brought down our Christmas presents. Like a saint she’s cooking Christmas dinner for us as well. And she took the boys off on Wednesday afternoon to her partner’s parents’ place where they spent a happy afternoon playing magic (don’t ask) with her partner and being fed by his parents. I rejoice as did they.

It was the winter solstice on Tuesday. That makes me think of my father. He was a summer person, always loved the sun and always celebrated the turning of the year with delight and a glass of whiskey. I used to ring him to wish him a happy solstice. It was this time last year that I saw him for the last time. He died on Christmas day. We’re off to Cork today and we’ll celebrate Christmas in my parents’ house tomorrow. I feel a bit sad about it. A little bit strange.

Where ever you are, I hope that your Christmas is happy and that the logistics do not defeat you. See you in January.

Home for the Holidays

19 December, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Family, Michael, Princess

Herself is home! Let joy be unconfined. It is lovely to have her back. I thought for a while that she might not make it home and I was gutted. I am surprised how thrilling it is to see the light on in her room.

I’d forgotten how much blogging content she provided. She described our interactions at dinner the other night as like a poor man’s “My Family and Other Animals”. “We only have one cat” her brother Michael said defensively. As well as staying with her London relatives, she went to stay at a friend’s house before coming home. Her friend’s father said, “I’ve been to Dublin once, it was the only place I ever saw people having sex outside.” “The Phoenix Park?” enquired herself. Yes. “And we had a lovely dinner in a Michelin starred restaurant,” he added. “Guilbaud’s?” she asked. Yes. I am glad to think that her upbringing has prepared her well for engaging with English people who have visited her home city.

I finally got to the dentist to get my permanent crown installed. I am delighted with myself notwithstanding the not inconsiderable bill. I really hope that this is it for the dentist for at least six months.

On the way home, I stopped at a pop-up antiques shop on Ormond Quay. It’s a bit off the main drag and an older gentleman, maybe mid-60s, was manning the shop. I wondered whether he had had any trouble. None at all and in fact, he had already sold two shops worth of stuff, if you see what I mean. We had a grand old chat about mahogany furniture and its return to fashion. He told me about his early days in the antique business, I told him about attending auctions with my mother when I was a child. It was delightful until he said, “People of our generation…” Just because it’s true doesn’t make it a great deal more palatable.

I got my booster jab yesterday in a chemist around the corner (Pfizer, since you’re asking). It was a bit disorganised and I am hoping that the paperwork will be ok. I had a sore arm and felt a bit seedy today but am broadly fine. And glad to have had it.

The government has announced that hospitality – restaurants, bars, pubs – will now close at 8 in the evening. Alas, alack. So much for my dinner booking – sourced with great difficulty – on December 28 at 9.

We have got a quote from a builder for knocking down the scullery and replacing it with a completely standard, no frills, no whistles, square box. I’ll tell you this, building inflation is real. I’m not really inclined to go ahead at the breath-taking cost proposed. The neighbours who are also planning to knock their scullery and to then replace it with an elaborate extension and put in a wine cellar got a quote of double what they were expecting. We were moving in tandem as our scullery roof is shared. However, in view of cost, building works may not, in fact, proceed in the new year. On the other hand, it would be handy to have it done while some of the children are still at home. But will we be able to pay their college fees, if we go ahead? Welcome to my middle class hell.

Last night we watched “A Muppet Christmas Carol” – MIchael Caine’s best work – so we are pretty much Christmas prepped. Yourself?

Michael at 16

14 December, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Michael

Michael was 16 on September 27.

He’s still reading away. He’s very interested in books; economics, data and history in particular. He very much enjoyed Rousseau’s “Social Contract” which his sister got him for his birthday. As well as the 1000 page sci-fi anthology his parents got him. He is catholic in his reading tastes.

He sits at lunch time reading his book in school. Apparently no one bothers him one way or the other. He doesn’t care what the other children think, in any event. I find this extraordinary but lucky old him, I suppose.

He loves staying in his room playing online and reading Wikipedia. Odd things catch his interest. He arrived down to dinner last night with detailed information on the history of Taiwan. He finished Crusader Kings and vanquished the old enemy.

He is very much enjoying his online history class on Saturday mornings. I’m not sure whether he is going to take it for his Leaving Cert in the end but he’s certainly getting a lot out of it. He seems to be really liking his subjects this year. History, Geography, Economics and English are his favourites. More often than not he is to be found in the more esoteric reaches of the CSO website digging up data to create more complete essays than his teacher may be looking for. As the teacher said to me, “He has a real knack for it.”

He is still doing French conversation once a week and he does not love it. While his brother chats away in French, he is uncharacteristically silent. His comprehension remains excellent and when called upon he can speak although he chooses not to. When we were in the Netherlands, he hated being in a country where he didn’t speak the language and I am hoping that will encourage him in his French and German but maybe he’ll just never visit non-Anglophone countries?

Lock down was probably a bit easier for him than for his brother and sister. He is quite self-sufficient and likes to be in the house surrounded by his home comforts. Somewhat to our surprise he turned out to be a diligent and organised remote student. In some ways it suited him better than school. Still, it’s important for him to engage with other people whether he likes it or not. Mostly he’s happy enough in school these days.

He’s still extremely skinny and I find it a small miracle that he is growing. He eats almost nothing. I do not know what we would do without pasta and pesto.

He has no real opinions about clothes as long as they are comfortable and warm. Warm is crucial. He often wanders around the house swathed in blankets and he owns not one but two of those wearable blanket things. Part of the reason he’s so cold must be because he’s so skinny. Mind you I am often frozen myself and am not skinny at all.

He has worn the same Gap anorak for years, getting bigger sizes as the years passed. It is very toasty. He wears his ski gloves all year round on the bike.

This time last year I was fighting an entirely unavailing battle to get him to hang up his coat under the stairs rather than slinging it over the newel post. While the rest of the family now consistently hang up their coats under the stairs, Michael’s one man battle seems to be faltering. I have increasingly found his coat under the stairs. I am pleased by this, rather scant, evidence that my will is stronger than his.

I bought my father a cashmere jumper for Christmas last year. For obvious reasons, it was no use to him, so I gave it to Michael. He loves it – it’s warm, it’s comfortable. He wears it all the time. I am slightly amused by the contrast between him and his peers. They all wear lycra sports gear. He wears the jumper I bought for his 95 year old grandfather. And gladly to boot. It may seem unlikely but the photos below were taken some time apart, the first on the Eastern seaboard, the second on the Western. I think we can agree that Michael’s approach is remarkably consistent.

Like all of us, he did a lot of cycling in lock down. I wouldn’t say he loved it but as his only form of exercise, I was keen that he go for regular cycles. He is not interested in or at all enthusiastic about any sport as far as I can tell. He doesn’t mind skiing or skating but those are pretty niche activities in this jurisdiction.

I mean, I suppose he likes zip lining – he was always a child who liked a little bit of adrenaline.

He continues to get on pretty well with his brother. They have a lot in common and play cards together and talk about school and internet fads. Daniel will play board games with him as well, which he loves though he is always faintly reproachful that his mother won’t join in.

He and his sister were like ships passing in the night before she went to England and he has missed her a bit but not much. He casually said the other day that she wan’t part of the family any more and broke my ancient heart. Seeing my face, he amended it to “Not part of the active family.” It’s hard to imagine him and his sister calling each other for a chat but maybe when they’re both a bit older.

I think this photo isn’t a bad illustration of how the three of them interact together.

He is a very considerate child and, I assume it is for this reason that arriving home while the new cleaner was washing the kitchen floor, he decided to climb in the dining room window rather than walk through the kitchen. Of course, he nearly gave the poor woman heart failure when she saw him but it is evidence of kindly intent.

He loves his mother and has no hesitation in saying so or in giving her a hug in public. Does his mother love this? Oh yes she does.

He has no interest in things and more money than he knows what to do with so he is very difficult to buy presents for. While I applaud his lack of interest in material things, it can be a bit trying for Santa.

He continues to be a wonderfully engaging public speaker and great at reading aloud, if called upon. They love this in school, of course.

When he dislikes a suggestion, he has taken to making a hissing sound to indicate his disapproval which I find hilarious and when he does it, we both end up laughing.

In fact, he makes us all laugh. And he’s very kind and generous. He is charming and delightful all round. And even his siblings occasionally agree with this assessment.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like etc.

12 December, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Princess

Saint Nicolas is such a trooper. It’s now 13 years since we lived in Belgium but he left sweets in the boys’ shoes for the morning of December 6.

They were off school so I asked them to record the event when they got up as Mr. Waffle and I would be gone to work. Delighted with the quality content, frankly. That sounds sarcastic but is absolutely true. Tone can be difficult to convey.

Meanwhile their sister sent us footage of herself and her friends swimming in Kent. I think we can take it that she is fully recovered from her Covid dose.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, the schools in Dublin were closed for Storm Barra. The boys were delighted by this unexpected turn of events.

Storm Barra brought some wind and lots of rain. Our drains blocked and a neighbour came and unblocked them. Now in the mornings on my way out to work, I go and hover by the downpipe rejoicing in the efficient draining action beneath. Funny the twists and turns life takes.

Somebody (the culprit has not owned up) broke the slow close toilet seat again. This is the second time this has happened since August so now we have a plastic replacement. Less beautiful but more durable.

I had lunch with my boss from 25 years ago who is retiring from her, now lofty, role. I think she would prefer not to be going and I really felt for her but, you know, the idea of not going back to work after Christmas definitely has superficial appeal. I also met my oldest friend for a pre-Christmas lunch and we had a great chat. She was abroad for a long time and it is quite lovely that she is home now; a Skype call is not as good as an in person lunch, it just isn’t.

Mr. Waffle and I went to a local cafe for breakfast on Saturday. Last week when we were there, for no reason that we could initially determine, our waiter started speaking to us in French. We gamely responded but we were a bit baffled. It turned out that he had spotted Mr. Waffle had the Canard and, reasonably enough, felt that if he could manage that, Mr. Waffle would be able to do his ordering in French. A part of me was slightly relieved to get a different waiter, I’m not sure I’m up to French at breakfast time every Saturday.

We went out for a walk on the pier this afternoon and I can’t believe how much better my heel has got since the summer when even short walks were a bit painful. Rejoice.

Mr. Waffle bought me the Holly Bough. We got the RTE guide Christmas special. Our Christmas entertainment is now taken care of.

We put up the Christmas tree and decorated the house over the weekend.

I have bought many presents and written many Christmas cards but not all in either case but I have decided it’s a pretty good start. This evening we had the street lighting up party. We all put on our outside lights (and to think I used to disapprove of outside lights, how the mighty have fallen) and had mulled wine and homemade mince pies with the neighbours outside. How are your own Christmas preparations going?

Patroness of the Arts

5 December, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael, Mr. Waffle, Reading etc.

We went to dinner and the theatre on Friday night. I’d booked a Christmas show and instructed my menfolk some time ago that they were to pretend to be pleased on the night. They dutifully delivered.

The show was “All the Angels” about the first public performance of Handel’s Messiah. Coincidentally it took place around the corner from the Smock Alley theatre where we went to see the show. All the big hits from the Messiah were included in the show and it did feel reasonably Christmassy but, sadly, one of the actors was indisposed (Covid, I bet) and his part was covered by someone reading from the play. Sadly, his part was Handel. In fairness, the guy reading did a good job but it did take from it. Still, the singing was nice. Michael gave his customary standing ovation at the end despite Daniel saying that you can’t give a standing ovation when one of the actors was reading from the script. Fair.

Then last night we went to the cinema to see a live streaming of a new opera – Eurydice – from the Met. Friends invited us and, to be honest, I was absolutely dreading it. Three hours of a new opera. It actually wasn’t too bad. No one is more surprised by this than I am. The staging was amazing, the libretto was clever and the music wasn’t discordant and jangly (though as Mr. Waffle pointed out, not a single tune).

I did some preliminary Christmas decorating. I think we’ll wait for herself to come home before putting up the tree.

Then today, I had bookclub in a back garden. Our hostess provided rugs, mulled wine and hot water bottles and it worked pretty well even though it was freezing. I don’t think I will ever again take the joy of seeing people in person for granted.

How was your own weekend?

Daniel at 16

4 December, 2021
Posted in: Boys, Daniel

Daniel was 16 on September 27. As usual, the birthday post is late.

He is like a grown up. Regular shaving and, like a lot of young men, regular conditioning training. He is, by quite a distance, the fittest, strongest and most toned member of the family. He towers over his mother.

Of course the non-stop bicycle outings over the course of the pandemic have had an influence as well.

He had a good sporting year, he thought that it was to be his last year with the 2005 boys in GAA and he was quite sad. However, the county board in its wisdom had put off moving this age cohort on to minor games until next year. I recently watched him play a hurling game and he continues to give it his all at considerable risk to life and limb. My only source of comfort, talking to other parents on the side line, was that he never got into rugby. He wanted to but there are only so many hours in the day and as they don’t play it at school, it would have been a huge commitment.

He still loves basketball but his friend who he played with after school has moved to another school and he is somewhat bereft.

He’s been having a tough time in school. Two good friends of his left after transition year and he’s feeling quite lost but things have been getting better. Covid hasn’t helped. I think he found the time out of school much more difficult than his brother or his sister and he was really a bit lost and lonely at home.

Due to Covid, he has missed out on a lot of standard teenage experiences and is thrown back on his family for socialisation rather more than he would like.

He is very musical and has a fantastic ear. He does brilliant imitations but like his father (and unlike his mother, brother and sister) he doesn’t want to be the centre of attention and really has to be persuaded to demonstrate his quite remarkable skills in this regard. At dinner one evening, I asked him to imitate me and it was uncanny.

He still enjoys playing this card game “Magic: The Gathering”. My sister’s partner is a keen player and he and both boys love playing together. I shudder to think of the money that has been spent on decks. But on the other hand, money has been spent on plenty of other things that never get played with so, a win?

He remains a big FIFA fan having moved on from managing Arsenal to Fenerbahçe ( a Turkish team) and more recently, Hanover. At the parent-teacher meeting the German teacher said his accent was amazing. In part this is due to his excellent ear but in part because he does his Hanover post-match interviews in German. You have to love those levels of dedication.

He’s academic and does well at school. He is dutifully coaching one of his peers through algebra. I know, because I heard him downstairs when the Wifi wasn’t working upstairs. The school is small and subject choice is limited. Aside from English, Irish and Maths which are compulsory, he ended up doing Physics (which he really wanted to do), German, Biology and Home Economics. He is a bit of a star in the Physics class as they are doing, much more slowly, things he did at great speed last year in his course outside school. There are only four of them so I think there’s quite a nice atmosphere. I was astonished at the parent teacher meeting when the Biology teacher said he was amazing at Biology. He never speaks about it and doesn’t seem remotely interested.

He loves Home Ec though and it is delightfully practical. His teacher went on mat leave and the school couldn’t find a replacement. Home Ec teachers are trained in one place in Ireland and not very many of them. I always think they are particularly good as they came out of school and they wanted to be a Home Ec teacher and focused on that. A lot of other teachers did a BA and drifted into teaching. The old cliché is primary teachers teach children and secondary teachers teach subjects and while it isn’t always true there is some truth in it. Anyway, I digress. The upshot is that he has to do Home Ec after school two days a week which is a bit of a drag but he is really enjoying the classes so swings and roundabouts.

He is inclined to put homework off until the last minute and then have a slight melt down because he has too much to do on a Sunday night, say, but partly that is because his standards are very high. As my mother would say, sometimes the best is the enemy of the good.

He’s still doing a weekly French conversation class at home and his comprehension and French accent are pretty good. He makes a real effort to speak to the young woman we have in and he will always ask for words he doesn’t know.

He is still friendly with his brother and they have loads of interests in common – though not sports. They talk a lot.

And although they can drive each other crazy they are basically very fond of each other.

His sister has gone to England but they seemed to be getting on ok before she left but kind of in a ships passing in the night way rather than enthusiastic interactions. It’s more the three of them than Dan and herself alone.

He likes meeting his cousins who live across the city although, for obvious reasons, we haven’t seen a huge amount of them this year. Still it’s nice to have cousins who fall into a different category from friends or siblings. When we went to Wicklow on an extended family break, there was lots of bonding. His little London cousin is only 4 and he saw her for the first time in two years this autumn. I mean they get on fine and he is kind but they had relatively limited interactions.

He continues to be exceptionally fond of the cat.

He has made a huge conscious effort to become a less picky eater. He will try anything. It’s a real joy to cook for someone who actually likes my food. And he’s pretty good at cooking too.

He’s started to buy his own clothes a bit which is a new development this year. He wears nail varnish which is something, apparently, young men do now. He has the most beautiful hands, long and slender and his nail varnish looks terrific. I got some sparkly red nail varnish from an advent beauty box my sister gave me (it assumes levels of beauty knowledge which are far in excess of mine). I went into Dan and got him to put it on for me. It turns out his skills aren’t as impressive as I thought. It just looks amazing on him because he has such lovely hands. In fact, he told me that my nail varnish skills are ahead of his as he only found out the hard way that nail varnish is not removable from clothes.

My sister thinks that Ireland is the only country in the world which has such a fine line between funny and mean. Daniel has taken a while to get a hang of this but this year he has started to be quite funny although he can still accidentally be mean when trying to be funny. We’re getting there.

He is very helpful – and over the summer regularly cut the grass in the garden for me and tackled the swathes of greenery which regularly threaten to overwhelm us.

Overall, he’s a really good child, obliging, kind, generous and funny. I so wish Covid wasn’t looming over everything for him. On that front, at least, things should be better next year.