Norway Part 2

Friday August 14

I was awoken early by the light coming in from the velux window over the bed which appeared to have no blind (Airbnb host said he would fix, he did not). I sat up and banged my head on the sloping roof over the bed. An excellent start to any day.

As you know, culture is flattening and everywhere has the same things. On that basis, I am pleased to report that our search for avocado toast, Turkish eggs etc was entirely abortive. Overall, though, I was not delighted to be having a cinnamon roll in a shopping centre for breakfast. Nice view though.

For lunch we had take away moose kebab and reindeer burger. Not terrible but not worth €40 either. After lunch we went on a walking tour led by an earnest German guide (from the East originally). Not bad but a bit worthy. Here’s what you need to know: Bergen was important to the Hanseatic league and cod was the main reason for this. Also life as a Hanseatic merchant wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. While on the tour, one of the Americans who was walking around with us said that the NY Times had just written up 36 hours in Bergen. I was dying to get my hands on it despite Mr. Waffle saying loftily “What do we care what some Americans think?”

After our tour, we had tea and a bun. They have this local delicacy called a skillingsbolle and I totally recommend; it is better than your standard cinnamon roll.

The weather had been rainy on and off all day but I rather daringly suggested that we go up the funicular and have a look at the view. The gods favoured us and we saw sun for the first time.

Also, quite exciting, they had municipal goats up there.

We had a nice dinner in the fish market back in town and went for a stroll around the centre. I was warming to Bergen.

Saturday August 15

Finally, we found somewhere that served Turkish eggs for breakfast. A triumph. We had a lovely walk to the gallery where we saw some Munch. I began to mildly regret deciding not to go to the Munch museum in Oslo. There may be more to him than I previously thought.

There were some other works I liked also. I’m always a sucker for snow.

Isn’t this charming?

When we emerged, it was raining again. We went to another gallery to see the Frits Thaulow exhibition. A famous Norwegian plein air painter apparently but, I fear, an artist previously unknown to me. Not bad and out of the rain.

For lunch we went to Sostrene Hagelin – it’s a kind of fast food fish restaurant which our guide had spoken about enthusiastically the previous day. Apparently the late king of Norway was a big fan and always got take away from here when he was in Bergen. It was nice but not cosy, I would say.

We split up after lunch and, I am not ashamed, I went and bought a Nisse calendar.

We went to a restaurant at the top of the funicular for dinner. I thought there might be good views. I would say that it was fortunate we had enjoyed the sunshine and views the day before.

Sunday August 16

We were late for mass. This was not Mr. Waffle’s fault. We filed in after the 5 priests; innumerable altar boys and girls; and, very ominous this, a cameraman. It was clearly a special mass. Alas. It was standing room only. They seemed very devout. The order of service was in Norwegian and Latin which was helpful, I suppose.

Observe this litany of the saints – who are these guys?

There was an excellent choir and I was impressed by their uptempo Ave Maria. This was the recessional hymn and they did 7 verses. Were they put off by the realisation that this meant that mass would ultimately run for 1 hour and 45 minutes? Manifestly not.

As we are gluttons for punishment we went to the Hanseatic museum afterwards. Big on cod.

Fire in Bergen seems to have been a constant worry. Everyone was obsessed with things burning down; and they did have lots of big fires, I suppose. They had special shoes to wear in the kitchen lest a spark taken elsewhere would set the place alight. I find this baffling as it is so rainy and it’s not like it is the only medieval wooden city. But there you are, so it was.

Later in the day went swimming at Nordnes Sjøbad (recommended by the NY Times – herself sent me the article using her subscription). It was a lovely walk there and the swim was amazing both in the pool and the sea with beautiful views of the fjord. However, as I was trying to reduce phone usage, I left my phone in the flat, so you will have to use your imagination.

On the way back, we began, yet again, to worry about dinner. Bergen is a hard place to get reservations. “What about here?” said Mr. Waffle. It was a tiny place and it looked very full but in he went and they had a cancellation. We had the most amazing dinner; probably our best meal of the holiday. If you find yourself in Bergen, I can unhesitatingly recommend Messrs Spisekroken. It made me feel very fondly towards Bergen on our last full day there.

Monday August 17, 2026

We found another good breakfast spot. We were on a roll.

We went to see the Rosenkrantz Tower (good name, slightly underwhelming sight) and took the boat back across the bay.

We went out to the airport where I was taken for a Norwegian – this happened a bit in Bergen where, they look more Irish and less godlike than they do in the east of Norway. This is all very well, until I have to say anything other than thanks.

We were in the airport to fly to Iceland, stay tuned for this next adventure.

Before leaving Norway, let us consider some of the things I have learnt about Norway and Norwegians:

1. They are very outdoorsy- skiing, sailing, mountaineering – they’re all part of their sense of self. They’re born with skis on their feet. They consider themselves adventurers; their Arctic and Antarctic exploration supports that, not to mention the Kon Tiki raft and their reckless disregard for health and safely. They have clothes with coordinates on them. They make the Helly Hansen stuff; no wonder it’s so dear.
2. They do not exaggerate.
3. They are a very beautiful people – I know it’s all about the beauty standard etc. but still.
4. They are perhaps a bit chilly and inflexible.
5. They have a good flag and like all Nordics they love it.
6. They like their mythical creatures: trolls but also huldra and nisse. Who knows what else?
7. They were poor and then they were rich.
8. They had particularly terrible teeth when they were poor.
9. They like personal space even when queuing; just stay a couple of metres away in all circumstances.
10. They have two languages plus nobody knows how many dialects.
11. They have no solar panels. They have cheap hydro energy. 106% of their energy requirements are met from renewable sources. Which, I guess, means that they export an infinitesimal amount of renewable energy along with all that oil.

I am keen to visit again and discover more. I loved Norway. I didn’t really expect to; I was only going to get the set as I had already been to Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania and was on my way to Iceland. It’s lovely, I loved it and I recommend it to you, if your bank balance can stand it.