belgianwaffle

Belgium

Fame!


Posted in: Belgium, Reading etc.

For most of the next week I will be here. You are free to guess whether this is because:
a) The Bulletin magazine did an extensive trawl through potential expat bloggers based in Brussels and selected me to do a weekÂ’s guest blogging on the basis of my entertaining writing and penetrating insights; or
b) I know the lifestyle editor of the Bulletin.

If I am feeling energetic, I will also post my entries here. I may even meta-blog and talk about the challenge of thinking up material for the Bulletin. YouÂ’’d enjoy that.

Comments

chintzybling
on 09 March 2006 at 13:00
Well done by the way!
poggle
on 09 March 2006 at 13:06
Gosh – fame!
expat in california
on 09 March 2006 at 16:44
After reading your blog for the last year and thinking “I wonder who’ll play the Princess in the movie version?” – your big break is imminent! Congrats and keep it up – I am hooked on the adventures of the Waffles!

Friar Tuck
on 09 March 2006 at 16:54
I suppose you won’t be associating with the likes of us anymore, not now that you’re famous and all.
belgianwaffle
on 12 March 2006 at 21:07
Thank you Chintzy. Um, yeah, pog, you lived here, the Bulletin? Hello Expat lurker, thank you, are you Irish, just curious. That’s right FT, when is your blog going live?
poggle
on 13 March 2006 at 09:00
I didn’t live there, waffley – just visited a few times when the FFF was working over there …
belgianwaffle
on 14 March 2006 at 09:05
Well, pog, I think all the same, you probably know what the Bulletin is like…

poggle
on 14 March 2006 at 09:09
I probably do, waffley – I’ve lived outside the UK quite a lot and I don’t think those expat papers vary much ..

The Old Ones Are the Best


Posted in: Belgium, Work

A man in a hot air balloon over the Belgian countryside realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. Descending a bit more he shouted, “Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am”. The woman replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above the ground, between 40/41 degrees latitude, north, and 59/60 degrees west, longitude”. You must be a middle-grade Commission Official”, said the balloonist. “I am”, replied the woman, “I’m a Grade A*8. How did you know?”

“Well”, answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If
anything, you have delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be a Senior Commission Official”. “I am,” replied the balloonist, “But how did you know?”
“Well,” replied the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault”

Cross-Purposes


Posted in: Belgium, Princess

Princess: I made a mask for Carnaval.
Mr. Waffle: Did you? What colour is it?
Princess: Lots of colours. And it has feathers.
Mr. Waffle: Where do feathers come from? Do they come from fish?
Princess (in some puzzlement): No, they come from Madame Marie.

Bobble
on 15 February 2006 at 21:32
She’s astute alright. God I miss Carnevale, I could do with a fritelle and vin caldo around now.
href=”http://www.20six.co.uk/beachhutman”>beachhutman
on 15 February 2006 at 23:09
Of COURSE they do! Silly Mr Waffle. Tutt.

belgianwaffle
on 16 February 2006 at 08:36

I know, Diva, BHM silly old us.
Bobble, Carnival is a bit different in Belgium. See http://www.carnavaldebinche.be/

Linguistic Regime


Posted in: Belgium

In recent times, the question has arisen as to in what language announcements should be made on trains (that is rather cumbersomely put, but you appreciate what I’m getting at here). In French speaking Wallonia, announcements are to be made in French and in Flemish speaking Flanders announcements are to be made in Flemish. So far, so straightforward.

But what about in Brussels which is the capital and officially bilingual (though, de facto, French speaking)? Announcements should be made in both languages you might say, which just shows how little you know about the matter. You have not addressed the vexed question of which language comes first; the Belgians have. There are three main stations in Brussels. In Bruxelles-Midi announcements are to be
made in French, then Flemish. In Bruxelles-Nord announcements are to be made in Flemish, then French. This leaves Bruxelles-Central. Which language should have priority here? Worry not, a solution has been found, in odd years announcements will be made in French then Flemish and in even years announcements will be made in Flemish and then French. I swear I am not making this up.

Friar Tuck
on 04 February 2006 at 19:03
If they would just speak English, there would be no problem. The Flemish are almost there anyway.

belgianwaffle
on 05 February 2006 at 12:58
Berry, Mr. Waffle wants to know what happens in Ottowa and New Brunswick? He was born in Canada, he takes a special interest. You are funny, FT, START YOUR OWN BLOG.

a href=”http://www.20six.co.uk/Berry”>Berry
on 05 February 2006 at 13:54

I’m not too sure in New Brunswick but I’ll find out. In Ottawa, here is a quote from their official language web site “all documents published by the City or its agencies and addressed to the public appear in both official languages (instructions, regulations, municipal by-laws, etc.).That publications be made available in both official languages simultaneously or in the language of the target group (i.e., schedule of courses in French).”

Bobble
on 05 February 2006 at 23:43
Does that explain why the station staff are so unhelpful at Midi then? You really couldn’t make this up could you.

Customer Service


Posted in: Belgium, Princess

It was just as well that Sunday’s outing passed off peacefully because on Saturday we had an absolutely hideous trip to a tea shop.  We all went out and bought the Princess a new anorak. We bought a ski jacket on the basis that it would be warm and maybe we might all go skiing next year (oh stop sniggering). It is pink.  After one afternoon’s wear, it was filthy. An excellent investment, clearly.

After the success of the anorak, we decided to go for tea and a bun. A dreadful mistake, we went to this place on Rue du Bailli where the food and decor are lovely and the staff are vile.  And really, that’s ok, if it’s just two adults, but two adults and three small children? It’s a disaster. Mr. Waffle (with Michael strapped to him on the sling) and the Princess
ascended the steep stairs (which I had forgotten) to the tea
room. I tried and failed to get Daniel up the steps in the
buggy.  The woman from behind the counter gave a deep sigh and marched around, I assusmed to help me, but no to bang shut the door I had left ajar. I concede that it was freezing, but I was distracted. Another staff member came and told me that the buggy was in the way. I tried despairingly to get up the steps again, but they were just too steep. Mr. Waffle came down to help me (Michael still in sling) leaving the Princess precariously sitting on a chair minding a table. The staff snorted as we, relatively briefly, blocked the staircase. We all sat down. The boys were as good as gold, as was the Princess.  The staff continued nasty, they disliked our paraphenalia. It’s hard to blame them, I suppose, but they were so rude and unpleasant, that I was more than willing to try. I ordered a milk shake and asked for a small glass so that I could pour some of it in there for the Princess. “We have no small glasses”. “Well, maybe a mug.” More snorting.  The waitress decided that she would ignore that particular bizarre request. Lovely.  I think that you will get the flavour of the unpleasant spirit that animates the establishment when I
tell you that on their blackboard, they had emblazoned in large letters “No second spoons with ice cream/deserts”. It was all a bit grim but our little Princess sat smiling, eating her ice cream and saying to her frazzled parents “We’re having a lovely time, aren’t we?”

Comments
Divaon 30 January 2006 at 22:08

Good Lord, how mean about the spoons! Little princess made me smile with her innocent comment about the lovely time, bless her heart, she obviously enjoyed it and will remember it with a smile and a warm feeling :o)

UndercoverCookieon 31 January 2006 at 10:14

maybe you’d have to ask for a second fork? Or perhaps romantic couples could just eat the ice cream off each other. There are always ways around these rules.

poggleon 31 January 2006 at 12:19

I bet The Princess was taking notes for future reference – and revenge.
And Mrs Affable – gah. Still, at least it wasn’t a drumkit, ay?

cha0ticon 31 January 2006 at 19:50

Retaliate. Penny whistle for Mrs Affables child 🙂

Daddy’sLittleDemonon 01 February 2006 at 13:39

Jesus, that’s so Belgian

belgianwaffleon 04 February 2006 at 10:21

NS, I know. Diva, you’re a big softy. UC, this relationship is doing all kinds of odd things to you. Pog, I certainly hope so. Cha0ic, she’s expecting twins in May, I’m holding my fire for when she’s at her weakest. DLD, to be fair, this has not been my experience elsewhere.

Divaon 05 February 2006 at 17:06

If she’s anything like I was at her age, little memories like that will still make her smile when she’s a big ol’ hard backed woman of 36 ;o) And yes, I know, I AM a big old softy! LOL!

Bobbleon 05 February 2006 at 23:54

It’s the law, you must get second spoons. Staff like that must be made to a summer at Camp America, oh yes.

Two stars are born


Posted in: Belgium, Middle Child, Twins, Youngest Child

A number of people asked me whether I had a “natural birth” with the boys. Did I have a caesarian section? No. On the other hand, does the picture below look natural to you?

My epidural arrived before my first contraction – the doctor was summoned from his bed at 6 in the morning, and proper order too. Labour was painless and took place between 9.00 and 3.00. It made me vomit though and vomitting as you lie on your back being wheeled along hospital corridors towards the delivery room is suboptimal. Daniel was born at 3.15 a strapping 3.03 kilos and, in what I fear may well be a pattern for life, nobody worried about him. Michael was delighted with the extra space available and turned sideways. Two burly midwives grabbed his little person and from the outside manoeuvered him into head down position while I looked on in horror and my doctor grabbed for his head (she had a lovely time in Croatia, thanks for asking).

She told me later that she thought that she’d have to an emergency caesarian and she had asked the nurses to call the anaesthetist without mentioning his name – in case I gathered that that was why he was being called. I am touched by her faith in my intelligence and powers of concentration. Anyhow, Michael was born at 15.39 and though on the light side at 2.2 kilos, he was absolutely fine. The potential caesarian, also explains why the anaesthetist turned up immediately after Michael was born and chatted away to myself and Mr. Waffle for no reason we could understand at the time. As I threw up into my little kidney bowl, I did wonder vaguely whether it was some kind of revenge for getting him up at 6 in the morning. He’s Lebanese and we were talking about the situation in the Middle East between vomits, and it was a little challenging. “Syria is not good” was about all I could summon to mind at that precise moment and even I knew that to be inadequate. I wouldn’t mind but I’d struggled through a long article in the LRB only recently not to mention having read “Pity the Nation” by Robert Fisk when I was in college.

To summarise, the stay in hospital was for a full week and despite constant interruptions (meals, nurses, obstetrician, paediatrician, physio, woman to throw out dead flowers, cleaner, tea lady morning and afternoon, water delivering lady, the odd visitor etc.), I felt pretty well. I think this was partly because, as a bad mother, I roomed out and mixed breast and bottle. Doubtless I will be chucked out of the Brussels Childbirth Trust.

It is very nice to be home though. Delighted with kind bloggers’ reactions, also flowers, cards, presents, emails and a beautiful new watch from my loving husband. Also lovely to see a bit more of my little girl (not too much more, mind, she’s still going to the creche every day). My mother has, alas, decamped to Cork where she deemed that my father’s need was greater than ours. I suppose she knows – she’s been married to him a while; in fact the boys were born on my parents’ 38th wedding anniversary.

Comments

StarCorner

on 06 October 2005 at 15:33

Oh I know I shouldn’t have but that made me laugh!!! Glad you’re well and congratulations the boys look absolutely adorable. Take Care xxxx 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Locotes

on 06 October 2005 at 16:42

Well I did warn you about your father – he could have left the emersion on or something – disastrous. Your mother couldn’t take that kind of risk…

Glad all is well – good to see you’re back blogging a week later – jolly good show.
Am I reading the clocks right in that the 2nd wee lad decided to join us a full 12 hours later? Poor you. All’s well…etc, though. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

jackdalton

on 06 October 2005 at 22:48

The youngster says it all above…. well done, ‘waf and welcome back. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Sarcastic Journalist

(Homepage)

on 07 October 2005 at 05:15

I can only hope, after I give birth, that someone will come and discuss the middle east with me.
I’m glad you’re back! I can’t believe you have twins now! ���

Minkleberry

on 07 October 2005 at 07:15

I was born on my parents first anniversary! You’re my hero- I can’t believe you’re breastfeeding two babies. And blogging. That is hardcore. Hearty Congrats from us all xxx 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

poggle

on 07 October 2005 at 13:38

That looks like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.
Well done Mrs Waffle …. 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Beso

on 07 October 2005 at 16:24

Just looking at that photograph terrifies the life out of me, some of those things look like medieval implements of torture. You’re my hero.
Your new boys are so handsome, congratulations to all the Waffles. 2
Sweetie(s) given ���

roach

on 07 October 2005 at 16:36

congratulations and well done 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Beth

(Homepage)

on 07 October 2005 at 20:44

Congratulations on your gorgeous boys! ���

negrito

on 07 October 2005 at 23:38

BRAVO !!! that is wonderful… Oh, by the way, I am in Brussels now 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 10 October 2005 at 08:56

Amerly, a sweetie is winging its way to you.
Star, indeed you should not! Thanks for congrats.
Loc, no, no, second joined about half an hour after the first – clearly my mastery of the 24 hour clock isn’t all it could be.
SJ, that would make two of us.
Well, Minks, somewhat guiltily, I am mixing breast and bottle, cos I just can’t manage to breastfeed them both at the same time and doing them sequentially would mean that I would have to spend all my time under a baby…
Pog, I know, but great stuff the old epidural all the same.
Beso, many thanks, and thanks for the sweeties also.
Roach, thank you.
Beth, thank you – am impressed that you are taking time out to check on other blogs!
Negrito – for good or for the weekend? 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

negrito

on 10 October 2005 at 21:45

for good, Gritoland is now located in Ixelles, near Place du chatelain 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

Locotes

on 11 October 2005 at 16:46

ah. well then. that would make all the difference I’d imagaine. for your physical well-being as well as your sanity. you can work on the whole 24hour thing over the next few months in-between nappy changes… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

belgianwaffle

on 12 October 2005 at 09:48

Yes, I look forward to that… 0
Sweetie(s) given ���

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