belgianwaffle

Hodge

Today’s Crisis


Posted in: Hodge, Siblings

I found this note in the kitchen when I got home:

Further investigation revealed that the cat had finally caught a plump city pigeon [a long held ambition, previously unrealised] which she had brought into the utility room to eat. The children gleefully told me that the utility room had been filled with feathers which the childminder swept up. She also removed the bloody corpse to the intense chagrin of the cat. For her (childminder’s not cat’s) own obscure reason she deposited it in a plastic bag by the door of the shed. When Mr. Waffle got home, he had to bring it through the house and put it in the outside bin. The horror.

Also, my brother turned up unexpectedly at tea time. We had Domino’s pizza for dinner, so a day of unhealthy eating all round.

I Need Glasses


Posted in: Hodge

This evening I said “Hello Puss” to the cat who was sitting on the stairs. On closer inspection, it turned out to be the axe that Michael has fashioned from tin foil for Halloween.

The Trials of the Cat Owner


Posted in: Hodge, Mr. Waffle

Michael yelled in alarm from downstairs, “A mouse! A mouse!” Mr. Waffle rushed downstairs. The Princess and I cravenly hid in a bedroom with the door firmly closed. Mr. Waffle finding the cat with a live mouse clamped in her jaws at the bottom of the stairs tossed both out the front door. It was a wet day so the cat did the sensible thing and ran straight to the cat flap at the back door and let herself in with the expiring mouse still clamped firmly in her jaws. Mr. Waffle threw them out the front again and rushed to the back door where he put his foot against the cat flap. The cat, with the, now dead, mouse in her mouth succeeded in getting in despite his efforts. He managed to separate her from the mouse and throw it out. She was very peeved. Rather disturbingly, she spent the remainder of the day with her head buried in the back of the bookshelf. What rather unwelcome conclusions may we reach from this?

The Joys of Owning a Cat


Posted in: Hodge, Mr. Waffle

From: Me
To: Mr. Waffle
Subject: What “Meow” Means

I suspected as much.

From: Mr. Waffle
To: Me
Subject: What “Meow” Means

I see. It may also mean “I’ve been peeing under the lego box for months and I want to be there when you find out”

Stalked by Illness


Posted in: Hodge

Michael (loudly from upstairs): There’s something disgusting in my room.
It turned out to be cat vomit. Isn’t it enough that I have children who start to vomit the second they feel ill?

Perspective


Posted in: Hodge

What we see: Brown Bin for food waste.
What our cat sees: Source of occasional treats.
What our neighbour’s cat sees: Guest buffet.

What I see: new seeds just sown in freshly turned earth.
What our cat sees: A spot for rolling.
What our neighbour’s cat sees: A new latrine.