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Thank You for Pushing my Boundaries

25 September, 2012
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Reading etc.

That’s what my husband said to me in tones of mild bitterness earlier this evening. We went to see “The Boys of Foley Street” in the Dublin Theatre Festival. It was very hard to get tickets. This difficulty was explained when the tickets arrived with an explanatory note that there were only four audience members for each show. I was unnerved. Mr. Waffle said acidly, “I bet there’s going to be audience participation.” He was right.

Then I got this email:

Dear Anne,

Thank you for your recent booking of tickets to The Boys of Foley Street as part of Dublin Theatre Festival.

I am getting in touch with you now to let you know that since you made the booking we have learned that the production contains scenes of sexual violence. As this is a new piece and constantly evolving, we were not aware of this at the time of your booking. We want our audiences to enjoy every Festival show they attend and we felt it was important to update you so that you would have all the information available on the production.

We advise that The Boys of Foley Street is not suitable for patrons under 16 years of age, and that the production contains material that some may find disturbing.

Should you have any queries or concerns on the content of this material I would be happy to discuss these further with you.

Kind regards,

Box Office Manager
Dublin Theatre Festival

I have to say that my enthusiasm levels hit record lows. As Mr. Waffle and I trudged through the rain to the venue, I feared the worst. We were led to a car across the road and told to sit in. This documentary was playing on the radio. An alarming looking tramp with a bottle of cider under his arm came and knocked at the car window. Actor or local? Hard to tell but I suppose that this was part of the attraction. I rolled down the car window cautiously. He began to ramble but he seemed more likely to be an actor.

Then we were driven around this very depressed part of the city to a housing estate like this only not as pleasant. There were some locals drinking in a huddle in the corner (not actors) and we went into one of the flats where, alas, we were separated. The actors (lots of them) acted very dysfunctional lives just for you – all by yourself. It was really cleverly done, though intimidating. That was kind of the point, I suppose. I did find myself looking at the actors’ teeth showing fine orthodontic work and saying mentally, these people are not really alarming, violent, alcoholics. No they’re not.

I used the same technique in a back alley while a drug dealer was beaten up and I was holding the IRA man’s coat. [I subsequently found a picture of the actor on the internet drinking prosecco with his friends. My conscience is clear] Mr. Waffle was in a shed sitting in an old car while a dead body slid up and down the roof. Frankly, I wouldn’t have minded having him to hand as that would have stopped the actor playing the alarming tramp giving me a kiss (peck on the cheek, but still) because I was his girlfriend. We finished up in a meeting room where pushers were being denounced having been brought there by Macker the reassuring IRA man. When he left, we noticed that our pictures were on the walls. Possibly because we were on “the list”.

Still and all, highly recommended; there are no dull bits.

Running against the Tide

16 September, 2012
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

On Saturday I took the children to the Phoenix Park to find that it was closed to cars because there was a half marathon. We parked outside the gates and walked while carrying mountains of kit (me), cycled (Michael deploying new found skills), roller-bladed (herself) and solo-ed (Daniel) 2 kms into the playground at which point we were only fit to turn around and soldier back to the car so that we could get home for lunch.

Then, this morning we dropped Mr. Waffle to the airport (he’s in exotic Finland for work) and went on to a playground in the grounds of a big house nearby. The car park and grounds were full to overflowing. Yes, indeed, another wretched run ruining our weekend.

Some further indications of the national interest in running: the Irish Times is now doing special running articles; lots of my relatives run including ones you might safely assume were a little old for this kind of thing; my colleague who started running a couple of years ago got a bunch of people at work interested and now they’ve gone and won a race – they have a trophy, it’s unmissable; and further the stand-up comedian we went to see the other night is running. I am a little concerned that I may be the one person in Ireland who isn’t running. Look, I had shin splints in 1989 and I’m not going to risk that again.

Season of Mists and Mellow Fruitfulness

14 September, 2012
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

Some things grew in my garden this year. Town Mouse who is in the semi-pro category when it comes to gardening and once, if memory serves me, won a prize for her vegetables, had a spread sheet calculating how much she spent on her garden and comparing her prices to those in the supermarket. I seem to remember that the calculation was that growing your own was definitely not cheaper. If this was the case for Town Mouse, it is much more so for me. Things fail with monotonous regularity (slugs devoured this years pumpkin crop when it was two tender leaves poking above the ground). I spend hours in vain trying to weed out brambles, dandelions and bindweed. My crops are small. As Town Mouse points out, they do taste slightly nicer than things you buy in the shops but, you know, they are still, vegetables. But yet, I find it all very enjoyable. Oh middle age, thy name is gardening. This season’s triumphs are detailed below. And I haven’t even mentioned the sweet peas.

The ever-reliable gooseberries providing enough for two harvests and four pots of jam:

2012-06-04 008

The small, but successful, turnip and carrot harvest:

2012-08-29 002
Providing enough for dinner for five (if three of the five don’t eat vegetables).

The pea harvest; the Princess demonstrates using “women laughing with salad” for inspiration:

2012-08-28 008

Every year, I have loads of lettuce. I think it must be the easiest thing to grow. If you’re going to start, start here:

2012-09-09 001
Healthy head of lettuce in the sink with entire potato crop. Let us draw a veil.

Our two apple trees have not been particularly successful producing one apple between them. On the plus side, we have 11 pears on our pear tree. Yes, I have counted.

Overqualified

14 July, 2012
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Twins, Youngest Child

We were in town buying new shoes the other day. Michael languidly extended his foot to the shop assistant. “Stop acting like a little pasha and put the shoe on yourself,” I said. “What’s a pasha?” asked Michael. The shop assistant replied, “A pasha is under a sultan – do you know a sultan? They were in charge of the Ottoman empire and it was very important although they were defeated by European forces in the Battle of Lepanto in 1571. Do you know the poem, “Lepanto”? “Don John of Austria is going to the War..”

Ah, so that’s where our arts graduates are going.

Penance

5 July, 2012
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

We had the American priest for mass again. He made us call out “promise-bridge-freedom” during the sermon. Several times. We called out lustily because we knew he wouldn’t stop until we had made enough noise. But our tone was distinctly doleful. For the creed, he made us say “absolutely” as he read out each line in turn. Priest: “I believe in one God, the Father almighty maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible.” Pause. Cringe. Congregation: “Absolutely”. And so on.

In All Fairness

24 June, 2012
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

Like the middle aged mother I am, I stood staring at mobile phone covers in the Vodafone shop for a long time trying to work out what would suit me best. A shop assistant came up, advised, put me out of my misery and switched on my roaming for me. I could feel that the people behind me in the queue might have been a bit tense on their lunch breaks but I was a happy woman.

And then, you may recall that Mr. Waffle got me a new phone for Christmas. Part of the rather generous deal was that he would cover the bills. From time to time, I would hear him muttering darkly as he wrestled with the internet billing system. To no avail. Between January and June, no bills came. He began to get concerned. He went to the Vodafone shop. “Oh sorry sir” said they [or words to this effect – does anyone say sir anymore?] “Entirely our fault; there’s a problem with our billing system. We won’t charge you for the period between Christmas and June.”

Am I feeling warm and fuzzy towards vodafone, oh yes I am.

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