Mr. Waffle does the laundry. He says if it were up to me, we would never have a clean stitch. I vigorously deny this. I was wearing clean clothes when I met him, wasn’t I?
Four weeks after we moved into the new house, I went to put on the washing machine and remarked, slightly shamefacedly, to herself that this was the first time I’d used it and I wasn’t quite sure how it worked. “Think of it as a small victory for feminism,” she said.
Mr. Waffle brought this to my attention as it combines two of our children’s favourite things:
Mr. Waffle: Who lives at 124 Conch Street?
Me: Leopold Bloom?
Him: Nope, that was 7 Eccles Street.
Me: Someone else from “Ulysses” then?
Him: Nope.
Me: Alright who?
Him: Spongebob Squarepants.
Maybe this should be the year I read “Ulysses“.
Mr. Waffle: Do you know how brackets work, Miss?
Herself: Yes, you do the operation inside the brackets first. We did that last year.
Mr. Waffle: What is the Irish for brackets then?
Herself (coldly): Maths is a universal language.*
*Translation: I don’t know.
While I was on one of my many trips to Cork recently, my husband took my boots to the cobbler and got them re-soled. I walked home in the rain the other night with toasty dry feet. And you know that I got a Valentine’s card too? Who says romance is dead?
Him: Have you decided what you are going to wear for N’s wedding?
Me: Yeah, it’s a bit mother of the bride but it’s ok.
Him: Well I am going to be father of the bride, so that suits.
It has been decided that Mr. Waffle will say a few words at his sister’s wedding though this is turning out to be less onerous than originally expected (correspondence below):
From: Mr. Waffle
To: MeLooks like I’ll have to jettison the last 18 minutes of my speech…
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: The Bride to be
To: Mr. WaffleHi
How are you? Looking forward to seeing you on Sat week! Hope the speech is not too taxing … we’d ideally like them to come in at under 2 mins or so, but don’t let me cramp your style! I’m sure it will be great.
Talk soon
Flowergirl is very excited indeed.