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Mr. Waffle

Happy Anniversary

28 July, 2008
Posted in: Mr. Waffle

I don’t like memes normally as they don’t allow me to spray the detritus of my mind directly on to the page in the way you know and love.   However, a while ago, Charlotte had one that appealed.

Relationship Meme

1. Where/how did you meet?

We met in Brussels at a birthday dinner for the best dressed diplomat a friend of mine who has featured here before. He was just tagging along. I arrived early due to a never to be repeated series of errors (I am always late for everything) and he arrived early (because he is always early). We talked about Flemish modern dance. It turns out that I completely exhausted his knowledge of Flemish modern dance in that initial conversation.

2. How long have you known each other?

Since November 1998.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?

About two weeks, I’d say. When we met at dinner I was ill so I had to leave early (much to my chagrin) but I casually threw out a general invitation to go to the cinema. He rang me at work (having found out my number by gratifyingly diligent scouting) to say he couldn’t go on the general invitation night but would I like to go another night. Delighted. Not so pleased when we arrived at the cinema and a bunch of my Italian friends filed in behind us, notably undermining the romance.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged?

About 2 years.

5. How long was your engagement?

5 months

6. How long have you been married?

7 years.

7. What is your anniversary?

July 28.  Today, yes, today.  Happy anniversary lovely husband.  However, I always wanted to get married in May when there were cherry blossoms. It  turns out that this is not uncommon and we would still be unmarried today, if we were waiting for a church and hotel in May.  If the Princess gets married, she has agreed to do it in May. Can only hope that this agreement will be more lasting than that to clean up her bedroom.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?

About 100. We really wanted to have lots of our friends and not so many cousins who we only saw once a year.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?

That was another thing. I couldn’t see the point of a cake and though my mother was really keen, I just didn’t think it was worth shelling out for. In retrospect, I cannot imagine why I became so hung up on this point, particularly since my parents were doing the shelling. All the same, nobody noticed that we didn’t have a cake. It did lead to one embarrassing moment though. My uncle and aunt didn’t feel up to driving home from the wedding at night so they brought my cousin as a chauffeur and, of course, we invited her. When my brother brought her up and introduced her to the table of old family friends and siblings, they all chorused “we thought this was the ‘no cake, no cousins’ wedding”

10. Where was your wedding?

We were married in the chapel across the road from where my parents live, so I was able to walk across – it was a beautiful day.

11. What did you serve for the meal?

Lamb maybe, I can’t really remember, I asked my poor mother to do a lot of the choosing. I do remember feeling extremely grateful that when we arrived at the hotel and my new husband was hot and hungry, they immediately produced a ham sandwich at my request leading to a much chirpier spouse.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?

Not quite sure what a bridal party is. My poor long suffering sister was my bridesmaid and Mr. Waffle’s friend was his best man. Mr. Waffle’s brother played the organ and my friend M. sang.

13. Are you still friends with them?

Yes.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony?

No; he did look nervous though that may just have been the photographer who was constantly ready to spring.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?

Walking back together to my parents’ house from the church – married!

16. Any funny moments?

Many funny speeches though arguably the funniest moment was inadvertent when my father forgot my husband’s name and then called me by my sister’s name. He got a good laugh too when he said “Anne learnt to speak early and she has lived up to that youthful promise”.  Mr.  Waffle also provided some unintentional comedy when he said “We are particularly delighted that the best dressed diplomat and her husband are here, BDD because she introduced us and her husband because, um, because, um, (lamely), if he hadn’t agreed to come, she probably wouldn’t be here.”

17. Any big disasters?

No.

18. Where did you honeymoon?

Tour of Spanish and Portuguese paradors and pousadas, beginning here which is possibly the nicest place I’ve ever stayed.

19. For how long?

2 or 3 weeks.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?

I’d be a little more biddable on the cake and the cousins.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

The left, near the door.

22. What size is your bed?

Not big enough for five of us.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?

Common interests. Doesn’t that sound dull, but it’s true. Don’t knock it.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?

Lark married to owl.

25. Who literally pays the bills?

Both of us, depends on the bill.

26. What is your song?

I don’t think we have a song. Unless it’s the Spanish version of Gloria.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?

Moon river. It was supposed to be Perfect Day but I forgot the CD.

28. Describe your wedding dress?

White, straight with shoulder straps and a wrap thing.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?

Pink lilies, I think. Can’t really remember what we had at the church and I had a very fancy hair do with flowers poked into it which I still think looks beautiful when I look at the photos. Though, I vividly remember that the day after the wedding it looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?

No.

31. And my own question, invented by me:  What advice about weddings would you give to someone who is about to get married?

A.Go around to all the tables and speak to people while they are eating.  You will not be hungry and they will all be delighted to see you.  Otherwise you won’t see everyone and that would be a shame.

B. Feel free to stint on everything, except the photographer.  Nobody will really notice the food (unless it is unspeakably dreadful or utterly fabulous) or the flowers (at all, under any circumstances, I fear, this is especially true for unmarried friends) or care particularly but you will have the photographs for the rest of your life.

Pink to make the boys wink

26 July, 2008
Posted in: Belgium, Ireland, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Reading etc.

When I was a child, little girls did not wear pink all the time.  I was a child of the 70s, so orange was the dominant tone of my childhood.

When did pink take over?  Little boys don’t have to wear blue all the time.  Why should little girls have to wear pink?  My loving husband would be the first to point out that when the Princess was a baby, I went out and bought a range of pink things.  Well, I’m tired of it now.  I note that in Belgium, pink does not dominate in the same way as in Ireland though after spotting a number of girls in hot pink at the foire du midi this afternoon, I may have to reconsider.  I am informed that in Italy, it is not uncommon to dress baby girls in black.  Trendy but a little alarming, I imagine.  I bet they get through a lot of pink all the same.
Is it all Walt Disney’s fault?  Is it easier to market to little girls, if everything is pink?  Is there a conspiracy?  Do I only care because my daughter looks better in blues and greens?

Weighty questions for a Saturday evening while my husband is off emptying out his office.  Rather ominously, he feels it will take all evening.  Where will we put everything?
In a related packing question, my husband and I were discussing what we would take with us in the car rather than leave to the mercy of the movers.  “Only important things” we agreed.

“Like the family photo albums,” I said.

“Like my degrees,” he said simultaneously.

This neatly sums up some sexist assumptions.  I don’t even know where my degrees are, I should have left them in Cork with my mother where they were safe.  Maybe I should wear more pink.

Highwater mark

11 July, 2008
Posted in: Belgium, Mr. Waffle, Reading etc.

I went to see Horton with the children some time ago.  I recognised the voice of Horton as being Dany Boon from Bienvenue chez les Ch’tis.  A film which I understood almost in its entirety (not an achievement to be sneezed at – though I was somewhat helped by the fact that the Ch’tis are essentially Belgian).  And further, I recognised that Horton was Dany Boon based on his accent in French.  This was a proud moment, I can tell you.  Then, I realised that I am probably speaking the best French I ever will and it’s downhill all the way from the end of the month.  I suppose I can pepper my conversation with French words thereby annoying my friends and embarrassing my children.

As part of our preparation to leave Belgium, I am also sorting through our mountain of medical and dental bills.   Before I had children, I never went to the doctor and now I seem to spend all my time going from surgery to surgery with my travelling circus.  It’s all surprisingly complex and, of course, it wouldn’t be, had I done it as I went along.  I wrote a letter to my insurer in my best French and got Mr. Waffle to check it.  The maestro sat down at the computer and made it perfect.  He corrected the French and reorganised the letter so that my various rambling questions were concisely stated and clearly presented.  I was awed:my husband the genius.   “Yes,” he said “I have spent the past number of years perfecting the art of writing in administrative French, I have probably reached the pinnacle of my potential in this field.” Hélas indeed.

Bad mother

7 July, 2008
Posted in: Family, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Travel, Twins, Work

I am on my last work trip for this job.  Frankly, this is a mercy.

This morning I left my husband to drop the car into the garage for repairs, meet movers who are coming to decide how much money they will charge us to get our belongings back to Ireland, let in more random people who may want to rent our flat and generally mind everything. I also left the country with Mr. Waffle’s mobile phone and our camera nestling in the dim recesses of my handbag. He was not pleased when I told him.

I got back to my hotel this evening to find that I had left Mr. Waffle’s mobile phone on the desk (why always keep it in a handbag, why not strive for new and different ways of making things difficult?).  This was a pity because there was a message from the Princess’s summer course saying that it was nearly 7 and was anyone coming to collect her.  I then remembered that I had told the childminder, C, that we would collect the Princess on Monday because it was too difficult for C to travel by public transport with the boys and the Princess (the course being some distance from our house).  This is information I may not have relayed to my husband.  I have just rung C who tells me that Mr. Waffle had arrived home, realised that the Princess was not there and turned around to go and get her taking the boys with him as C’s working day was over and he did not want to impose.  I would have imposed myself but I have much lower standards than he does.

Any minute now,  I am going to phone home and see how things are going and, gentle reader, I am very afraid.  I think that I will plug the line that I have specifically asked not to travel in my new job and that I do not intend to leave him alone again until the children are in their teens.

Mr. Waffle’s quotes of the week

3 July, 2008
Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Work

Scruples and the city

Explaining to his wife why he drove around the block four times rather than parking in the middle of the road and putting on his hasard warning lights and running in to the dry cleaner. To those of you who are shocked by my cavalier attitude to lawful driving, please note that we live in Belgium.

I suppose it’s reached uncritical mass

Suggesting a theory as to why Place Luxembourg has become a popular spot in Brussels for the young lobbyists, trainees and youthful Euro riff raff to hang out.

Is that the lowest standard of truth, something said to have been written on the internet?

On his wife’s reading out to him this line from the Irish Times: The … terror…was whipped into a frenzy by rumours … which [were] said to have been extensively discussed on such sites. [Emphasis added].  Might it have been worth journalist Kathy Sheridan’s time to maybe go online and have a quick look around the offending websites herself?

The fusing of two terminological traditions

On hearing that a colleague of his wife’s had said that Britain was to be “hauled before the beak for failure to transpose environmental directives”.

Random examples demonstrating that my husband knows everything

22 June, 2008
Posted in: Mr. Waffle

1. At the mini train extravaganza.

Me: What does BNSF stand for on the side of the train?
Him: Burlington North Santa Fe, I’d say [on later inspection, this was quite right].
Me: How do you know that?
Him: Good guess?

2. On the radio

Me: Who sings that?
Him: David Bowie.
Me: Oh yeah, talk about selling out, remember that perfume advertisement?
Him: Well, David Bowie is the man who turned his back catalogue into a financial instrument.
Me: What?
Him: Complex explanation.
Me: How did you know that?
Him: Everyone knows that.

3. At the supermarket one morning.

Him: Interesting, that lorry is from Slovenia but the drivers’ friends are obviously Romanian.

Me: Eh?

Him: Well, it has Slovenian number plates, see from Maribor which, as you know, is Slovenia’s second city.

Me: Eh…

Him: But in the window he has Romanian plates with his friends’ names on them.

Me: Ah right.

To be fair this last touches on two of his specialised subjects: geography and number plates.   But generally, my husband is good on facts. When we have dinner at his parents’ house and a question comes up, everyone swivels towards him which I find mildly amusing. In my parents’ house (the home of the patriarchy as Mr. Waffle wistfully refers to it from his equal opportunities outpost), everyone swivels to my father. Though my father really does know everything.

What is it they say about women marrying men like their fathers?

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