belgianwaffle

Siblings

Nervous


Posted in: Siblings, Work

A while back a colleague said to me “you don’t have a blog or something daft like that?” and instead of replying in a suitably Jesuitical manner “why would you ask me something like that, do I look like I’m 16?”, I was caught on the hop and I said “yes”. He is the first person I’ve ever worked with who has known about the blog. It’s a little unnerving. We are friends as well as colleagues and I trust him to keep my secret safe (are you listening J?) but yet, the whole Chinese wall thing is mildly unsatisfactory. My colleague rubbed his hands in glee when he found out and said “it’s like being gay and wanting not to be outed”. Who would have thought this blog would bring me such a range of new experiences?

And then there’s another friend and former colleague who has heard that the blog exists and is, I am paranoidly convinced, slowly but surely scanning the blogosphere until he finds me. Not that there’s anything here I haven’t already told people; as one friend memorably remarked to me, “you would tell your life story to the person beside you at the bus stop”. Do other people’s colleagues know that they blog? Do they still have paid employment? Answers on a postcard, please.

In other news, my feckless brother is coming to visit tomorrow and as my mother says “you must be absolutely delighted”. Yes, yes, I am, of course I am. I just had to remind her that he has faults but she remains annonyingly unconvinced.

Let it snow


Posted in: Family, Siblings

A friend of mine spent Christmas with her husband’s family as did her sister. Her unmarried siblings and her parents decamped to Chamonix for Christmas to ski. Mr. Waffle’s entire family including the piccolo cugino went to Austria for a week’s skiing after Christmas. And where is my feckless younger brother at this very moment? Well, he’s just gone to Chamonix for a bit of skiing after seeing the rugby match in Geneva.

Is anybody tired of the Celtic tiger, yet? Anybody at all? Yes, indeed, begrudgery is alive and well, but it appears to have emigrated.

Get answers to your knotty theological questions here


Posted in: Princess, Siblings

Her: Does Santa Claus get sick?

Me: I’m not sure.

Her: We’ll have to ask God, God knows everything.

Me: Mmm but sometimes God’s answers aren’t particularly clear.

Her: We’ll have to ask him to speak more loudly then.

In other news, my sister spent the weekend here. When she arrived, 10 staff stood up and said “Good afternoon, Miss Helen”. She recommends it.

Siblings


Posted in: Siblings

Me: If Dan (my brother) ever gets married his wife is in for a shock.

My mother (indignantly): Why? Your brother is very good you know.

Me: Yes, I know, but he’s not exactly Mr. New Man round the house is he?

My mother: He’s fantastic, before I got my cleaners in regularly he used to do an awful lot around the house.

Me (recognising a lost cause): Yes, ok, he is very good but he does have the odd fault.

My mother: Precious few.

Me: Outraged silence.

Meanwhile, my sister’s project has finally gone live in India. She rang this evening at 1.45 am local time to say that 100 people had been working flat out since 4 that afternoon and they’d just managed to get out an invoice. I didn’t like to say but I did think that maybe writing out the invoice by hand and delivering it on foot would be more efficient.

More blogstreaking tomorrow


Posted in: Siblings

PARIS (AFP) – The Internet has given birth to a quirky range of modern addictions and maladies, the British weekly New Scientist says in its Christmas issue.

They include these:

– EGO-SURFING: When you frequently check your name and reputation on the Internet.

– BLOG STREAKING: “Revealing secrets or personal information online which for everybody’s sake would be best kept private.”

– CRACKBERRY: “The curse of the modern executive: not being able to stop checking your BlackBerry, even at your grandmother’s funeral.” (A BlackBerry is a popular handheld device that can be used for phoning, emailing and web-browsing).

– GOOGLE-STALKING: Defined as “snooping online on old friends, colleagues or first dates.”

– CYBERCHONDRIA: “A headache and a particular rash at the same time? Extensive online research tells you it must be cancer.”

– PHOTOLURKING: Flicking through a photo album of someone you’ve never met.

– WIKIPEDIHOLISM: Excess devotion to contributing to the online collaborative encyclopaedia, Wikipedia. (Wikipedia even has a page where you can test whether you’re an addict: (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wik…ic-Test)).

– CHEESEPODDING: Downloading of a song “so cheesy that you could cover it in plastic wrap and sell it at the deli counter.” Cheesepodders are especially vulnerable to soft-rock favourites from the 1970s.

I emailed my sister and told her she was a crackberry. Her instant response was “Yes, I know, blogstreaker”.

What happened to you?


Posted in: Siblings, Youngest Child

My sister is here for the weekend. She’s visiting from India. It’s the first time I’ve seen her since April. So, you know how it is, I wanted to make a good impression. This must be why the gods saw fit to bless me with conjunctivitis in both eyes. They were hideously bloodshot but, on the plus side that wasn’t very visible because my eyes were mostly obscured by under eye puffiness. The icing on the cake came when Michael decided to head butt me in the eye, thereby giving my right eye puffiness a range of exciting colours. We had a number of Christmas parties this weekend where the first inevitable question was what happened to you? Even the beggars outside the church asked me what happened to me. Alas.

In other sister news, she brought an avalanche of presents, cooked us dinner, minded our children and was generally wonderful. Ah, the joys of outsourcing our childcare to India. She’s finally growing to love India despite her best efforts and, to my utter amazement, she’s thinking of buying a flat near Chandigarh.

She also brought a number of brochures to explain what she does to our mother when she goes on to Cork. These were a source of immense amusement. My sister works for a well-known company that makes a well-know confectionary item which I am sure you have all tasted; let’s pretend it’s called Yummy. She is in charge of a project to bring a particular computer system to the Indian branches of Yummy.  This is how the project logo is described in the newsletter:

“The logo has the colors of the Indian flag (orange, white and green). These are arranged like 3 rivers meeting the Yummy globe. Sangam is a Sanskrit word and signifies the confulence of three most sacred river in India – The holy Ganges, the Ymuna and the mythical Saraswati. This is represented in the logo. Sangam not only signifies the meeting of holy rivers, it also signifies the meeting of millions of people, of ideas and of ancient wisdom.

Sangam also marks the confulence of Yummy India with the rest of the Yummy world, binding the two organisations together with the same culture, processes, policies or in one single religion viz the Yummy way. By virtue of this great objective, this project assumes the same paramount importance for the Yummy world as Sangam for Hindus and hence the title.”

If you ask me, that’s hoping for a lot from sweeties.

And finally, I forgot to mention, my third blogging anniversary passed earlier in the month. Who’d have thought I had the staying power? This must make me a blogging grandmother.