belgianwaffle

Middle Child

What are we to make of this?


Posted in: Hodge, Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

When I came home from work, Michael looked up from what he was doing and said, “Mum, the babysitter kicked me.” He then went back about his business. I protested feebly, “Don’t call O “the babysitter” Michael, she has a name.” And then I turned to O and asked “Ahem, did you, eh, you know, eh…” to which she said, no.

Nevertheless, the children have not taken a shine to her and, certainly, she is not as good as her predecessor who was terrific. But she seems ok. And she will be finishing in the next couple of months in any event to go back to France for the ski season. So, I suppose we will tough it out.

I discovered that the children have other plans. The boys’ teacher took me aside this morning. She said that the boys had told her that they were working on a secret plan developed by their sister. At her signal they were to scream and only to stop when she picked up the cat. I see a number of difficulties here including both the objection of the cat and the Princess’s choice of co-conspirators. Still, I am experiencing definite unease. This evening the Princess asked me why I can’t sack the babysitter.

Oh dear. Do you think that the babysitter will tough it out?

Outnumbered


Posted in: Family, Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Last night, the Princess had a friend to stay. All the children went to bed at 9 o’clock. At 10.00 we trapped the boys in our bed and they finally went to sleep. At about 10.30 a very loud alarm in a local municipal facility went off. Phone calls to authorities led to the information that nobody could turn it off. The Princess and her friend came downstairs to complain about the noise. We said that they could sleep in our bed (at the back of the house). We transferred the sleeping boys back to their own beds from ours and in hopped the girls. At 11.30 we decanted the girls and were finally able to get into our own bed. We were delighted. True, four other people had already slept in it that evening, but parents have low standards.

Oh yeah, while we were waiting to get to bed, appropriately enough, we watched the DVD box set of “Outnumbered” which is distressingly accurate.

Is Everything Genetic?


Posted in: Middle Child, Twins, Work

Daniel: I’m the best in the class at Irish dancing.
Me: Good for you.
Daniel (after some reflection): The best except for S.
Me: Well, you know, S’s mother is a dancer, so you would expect him to be good at dancing.
Daniel: Am I good at what you do Mummy?
Me: Well, um, you probably have latent middle manager skills.

In the Wars


Posted in: Middle Child, Twins

Daniel is a very cautious child. He does not like to be hurt. He is careful. This is why it is particularly upsetting to him that he has, in the last week, swallowed a 5 cent coin and fallen while crossing the road (not simultaneously).

The coin is still, I think, lodged in his tummy – it may be there forever but he seems to have recovered from the pain of having it travel slowly down his oesophagus. His fall, where he landed on his nose and lips (though, mercifully, apparently not his teeth) continues to be a source of grief. He bled profusely. He now has swollen lips and a big scrape on his nose and his glasses need to be replaced again which will not be possible before Christmas. Even his siblings have been moved to sympathy.

Christmas Traditions


Posted in: Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

When we lived in Belgium, Saint Nicolas used to come on December 6 on his donkey and leave chocolate in children’s shoes. You had to leave out beer for Saint Nicolas and a carrot for the donkey. Then Santa came on December 25. Then, thanks to the kind intervention of our Italian upstairs neighbours, the Befana came on January 6 bearing sweets.

The first year we came back from Belgium, Saint Nicolas came to Ireland, Santa came, of course, and the Befana came too. Last year, only Saint Nicolas and Santa came. This year, in the context of the current economic climate, all having to tighten our belts etc, etc., only Santa was due to visit. And that was going fine until the Princess came home speaking about Black Peter – she had been learning about Christmas traditions in other countries at school. “But surely,” I said stupidly, “you remember Père Fouettard.”

Her little face lit up, “Oh yes, when is Saint Nicolas coming?” Again, slightly caught on the hop, I said, “Oh, he comes on the 6th and that’s long gone, he’s not coming this year, I’d say Santa’s taking over his duties.” There was much weeping and wailing. Then the Princess looked at me shrewdly and said, “When does the Befana come?” I see the Befana making a comeback in this jurisdiction.

The Princess, is proving slightly trying in the matter of Santa more generally. Sample question delivered in front of her brothers: If there is no Tooth Fairy and no Easter Bunny, how do you know there’s a Santa? I see dangerous shoals ahead. Next year I am looking forward to questions on the nativity.

And finally in this rather miscellaneous category: it is the time of year for infant classes to put on nativity plays. We have two shepherds in our house (am very envious of colleague with 4 children who counts a Joseph and a Mary among their number). Religion can be faulted on many grounds but certainly the selection of music available for Christmas is not one of them. Some of the most beautiful songs are Christmas carols. Why is it then that children always end up singing the rather dreary “Away in a Manger”? Furthermore, our lads have also added to their repertoire the classic “Hosanna rock, hosanna roll” which sounds pretty much as you might imagine. I suppose if I continue in this strain, it is only a matter of time before I begin campaigning to restore the Latin mass.

Fun with Boys


Posted in: Middle Child, Twins

I was putting my make-up on this morning and Daniel was lying in bed watching me. I heard a pinging noise behind me like one of the buttons from my back pocket bouncing on the floor. I made a tsking noise and turned around. Daniel started to laugh, “It was me, it was a snot”.