Daniel: Where are my shoes?
Me: Did you try your bedroom?
Him: Yes.
Me: Are you sure?
Him: Yes.
Me: If I go upstairs and find them in your bedroom, I will be displeased.
Him: I can’t find them.
I toil upstairs and find the shoes beside his bed.
Me: Dan, they were in your room right beside your bed – the most obvious place.
Him: Oh, I was looking in the unobvious places.
Twins
Poor Parenting
Daniel: I had a nightmare.
Me: What happened?
Daniel: I was playing the x-box and a monster came out and attacked me.
I fear we may have over-indulged somewhat on the x-box although, as all he plays is FIFA 13, I am at a loss to work out where the monster comes from. Insert your own joke about Arsène Wenger here.
It’s so unfair!
Me: Daniel, shut the door behind you please.
Him: Slave driver!
For the Record
Daniel lost another tooth on June 19. He’s still enjoying sticking his tongue through the gap.
Science and Religion
Daniel: There’s no gravity on the moon.
Me: Actually there is, it’s just less.
Herself: Why is that?
Me: Well objects kind of attract stuff to them and the larger the object the harder it attracts – the moon is much smaller than the earth so gravity is less. At least, I think that’s how it works.
Herself: Are we lighter on the moon?
Me: Um, I think this is about the difference between mass and weight. Let me think, you have the same mass everywhere but your weight is different because of gravity.
Daniel: Is there mass on the moon?
Me: Yes, that’s it, mass is the same everywhere.
Daniel: Do they have churches on the moon?
The Challenges of Parenting Small Boys
Daniel: I fooled you!
Me: How did you do that?
Daniel: You told me not to wear yesterday’s socks again today.
Me: And you didn’t, you can’t fool me, that’s not the pair you were wearing yesterday.
Him: But look what is under today’s pair!