Daniel lost his tooth last night. The tooth fairy gave him €1.70 in change for her own obscure reasons. This is the first tooth lost by one of the boys but Michael has two wobbly ones also. Do you think that the tooth fairy always gives the same amount for each tooth lost? If so, I see shoals ahead.
We were in town buying new shoes the other day. Michael languidly extended his foot to the shop assistant. “Stop acting like a little pasha and put the shoe on yourself,” I said. “What’s a pasha?” asked Michael. The shop assistant replied, “A pasha is under a sultan – do you know a sultan? They were in charge of the Ottoman empire and it was very important although they were defeated by European forces in the Battle of Lepanto in 1571. Do you know the poem, “Lepanto”? “Don John of Austria is going to the War..”
Ah, so that’s where our arts graduates are going.
Daniel and Michael asked me to read to them from a book called “Yuck” the other night at bed time.
I have never read a more disgusting book in my life. Yuck is the most repulsive child. I actually started to feel vaguely ill as I read. Picture the scene, Yuck is in his bedroom playing. He goes to the wardrobe and gets out a bag of bogies from which he proceeds to build a castle which he fills with creepy crawlies. As his mother comes upstairs, he quickly hides it under his bed. His mother and sister come into the room. He empties another bag on to the floor filled with dried scabs [lovingly described]. “What are you doing?” asks his mother? “Playing tiddlywinks,” he says and flicks two scabs into his sister’s mouth.
I am foreswearing Yuck. If they want him in future, they can read him themselves. Need I say that they were rolling around the floor laughing as I read this revolting story?
Daniel (dividing Jenga Blocks into piles): Is 26 half of 52?
Me: Yes.
Daniel: These Jenga Blocks are James’s and these are William’s.
Me: Who on earth are James and William?
Daniel: Don’t your remember the Williamites and the Jacobites?
The children have downloaded a number of apps on my phone. Battle Nations is popular at the moment and apparently “it’s even better, if you share it with friends.” They want to share but I have pointed out that the only friends available through my phone are my friends who won’t be interested in Battle Nation. Aside, I notice, that somebody posted an invitation to pet hotel on my twitter feed, that wasn’t me.
While he was washing his teeth, Daniel asked me whether I had any friends who were pregnant. “Yes, why?” I asked. “So that when the children are born and get bigger you can invite their parents to play Battle Nations and they can give the phone to the children.” What did I say in response? “We’ll see”. Of course.
I still maintain that I am doing better than Chris over at Rude Cactus on June 25.