Michael: I don’t want those socks, they’re too small and prickly.
Me: OK, we’ll get you another pair. Maybe it’s time to retire these.
Michael: NO, no don’t retire them. My socks! My beautiful socks! Don’t throw them out.
Me: But Michael, they’re too small what do you need them for?
Michael: To look at in the drawer.
If it were up to Michael, nothing would ever leave the house.
Michael eats nothing at dinner. Now he says he can’t sleep at night. When we go into him he announces dolefully, “I have a hunger problem.” Tell me he’ll grow out of it.
Michael: A woman can’t be a schoolmaster.
Me: But Michael, your own teacher is a woman.
Michael: No, a woman can’t be a schoolmaster.
Me: Of course she can.
Mr. Waffle: Can a woman be a schoolmistress, Michael?
Michael: Yes, of course.
I came home from work one day to find that the Princess had written her will and got the boys to draw up wills also. She had given them a fictional €100 to dispense. I said to Daniel, “Will you read me your will?” He started out cheerily enough. “I leave [herself] €15. I leave Michael half of the money and the parents all the rest. Signed Daniel.” And then his voice broke as he read, “I wish that all of my relatives never forget me.” He’d drawn a tombstone with RIP on the back.
Honestly, she’s like Wednesday Addams.
Daniel: Prey is the same as warship, isn’t it?
Me: Well, no, prey is something you chase after and normally a warship does the chasing.
Herself: He means pray and worship and, Dan, the answer is yes.
I have a tendency to burst into song. Doesn’t everyone? I was walking along with Daniel the other day, it was sunny and I was humming away to myself. He slipped his little hand in mine and tugged gently. “What is it sweetheart?” I asked. He replied, “Stop singing, you’re embarrassing me.”